Dad Seeking Custody of child

Boatman2010

Dad Seeking Custody of child
Hi ,

I Just registered today.I dont even know how the site works yet.

I have been granted guardianship of our child.The mother reluctantly done this.I am now thinking of applying for full custody as i am the full time live at home carer for my child.I love my child very much and i have such a strong bond between us.

The mother never really had a bond as she in her hearts of hearts did not want a child ....wasnt planned.She is now thinking of moving in with her friends - .Unfortunatly she is influenced by them as they still have their lives as she sees it .She has nothing planned in the line of where my child will sleep,who will be looking after him if she is at work,who will pick him up from creche ..if she bothers to send him..They are all twenty somethings and just want to have parties and so on.She goes and stays with them regurally and never phones to see how our child is.She is a foreign national and likes to be with her own ...I wouldnt be surprised if she sleeping with one of the guys in this house as they are all very secretive and never talk in english.

I live in my own house and have my familly living close by.My child is nearly 3 and has a great relationship with all of my familly especially his nan.He is due to start playschool soon.He has a great familly stable life here.The mother is looking to move and ruin all of this,just so she can be with her cool friends .She is acting so immature..

She is not talking although i know what she is planning as she is not very good at hiding information.I have tried everything i can to save the relationship.I feel that she thinks the grass is greener and likes her friends way of life as it seems attractive.

What can i do.........!

It seems the mother is always granted the child.Please Help if you can guys...



Thanks....

Nevyn

I would suggest that you get a solictor and look at getting custody.
It could be that she will leave the child in your care but even if she does she can then come back and try take the child again so you are best to apply for custody.

Beruthiel

Yup. Agree with Thaed.
Get yourself a family law solicitor asap and get things down in black and white.

Bill2673

Apart from the above suggestion re Solicitors, you should also try to talk with single dads who have been in the same situation as yourself. I'm not sure which forum or thread would deal with this, I don't think there is a forum for single dads as far as I can see. Perhaps you could try posting in the legal discussions area. But to be honest, if its legal advice you want, then get yourself a good family law solicitor and don't depend on a chat forum for it. It will cost you money, but c'est la vie. There are support groups for single dads, and I'd imagine they could tell you who is good. Thats my best guess, I'm no expert. Hope all goes well for you.

Nevyn

http://www.solo.ie/
http://www.parentalequality.ie/pe/default2.asp?active_page_id=174
http://www.usfi.ie/

caprilicious

+1 on advice to get a solicitor, but definitely one that specialises in family law.

If you're a full time carer I'm guessing that you're out of work, as far as I know you would still be entitled for Legal Aid under the circumstances though I could stand corrected.

The very best of luck to you, I really hope all works out well for you

RichMc70

I wish you best of luck Boatman but I would say that unless your sons mother is agreeable to giving you custody then I'd be very doubtful that an Irish Court would grant you such.

It's extremely rare that the courts grant custody to the father. I saw one of my best friends go through hell for years trying to get custody of his four year old daughter, but to no avail and with a cost of many thousands. This outcome (even though the court was shown unequivocal proof of drug abuse and abuse (non-physical) by the mother) is a regular occurrence.

He did eventually get custody of his daughter when she was 11 but only for the fact that the mother was eventually Sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

As Thaedydal says get a solicitor and the professional opinion.

Again I wish you the best of luck.

Did anyone see the Primetime programme last week on the Family Courts and Unmarried Fathers rights? Not good for viewing for a supposedly democratic nation!

dermothickey

I wish you the very best. Go for it, there is no harm whatsoever and it will stand for you in the future. Fortunately I got joint custody and joint gaurdianship, probably as the mom was sound enough when it came to the courts. It may or may not (as im not in your situation) be a case that the mother will probably be trying to dish your child on you without you gaining custody, so she could come back anytime and get your child. Maybe have a heart to heart with the mom and let her know that you want to apply for custody for legal reasons as you feel you will be able to look after your child for a more permanent future, thus helping the mom to simply move on. Ask if she would be willing to share custody and if not go to the courts seeking full custody. By the time it gets to your court she will probably concede and you would get joint custody.

With Joint custody then its a case of you two probably working out shared responsibilities. This is your chance to gain sole custody where the child is staying with you most nights of the week and the mom taking her somedays. Either way I've been down this road and its heart-breaking yet with right counsel and support you may get through this with your head held high.

Best of Luck, hope this may be of help to you.