Boys & Womens stuff..sorry...

Fittle

Briefly, I've an 8yr old and he's asked me about women and 'cycles' (not bikes!).

He's in an all boys school and can't imagine he'll be learning about it any time soon.

His dad isn't involved.

I haven't a clue. I can do the whole sex ed stuff, that's not a problem when he's older. Don't see why he'd need to know about women stuff at 8ish tho....
Parenting thread is very quiet..hoping I'll get replies from youngfella's who remember when they were told this stuff....and give honest advice to a mam like me, who doesn't want to put him off women for the rest of his life.
No smart-arse comments, if you don't mind, cheers:rolleyes:

GoldCobra

I was never told anything. I've no idea whats goin on.

DarkJager

His more knowledgeable friends will tell him all about it eventually. It all depends whether you want to be the one to explain it in proper terms first or just allow him to find out himself.

Motley Crue

GoldCobra wrote: »

I was never told anything. I've no idea whats goin on.

GoldCobra's sarcasm aside, I think the best point raised here is that children will hear things at this age...because of the actions of maybe older siblings who repeat things to their children.

There are two choices - either tell him to ignore such language and explain to him that it is something you can discuss when he's a little older or be economical with the truth and explain to him that some women have sensitive stomachs depending on what time of the month it is. That's why guys eat tougher food then girls. Something like that.

But seriously, there is no need to be telling or discussing a woman's cycle with an 8 year old child.

GoldCobra

I wasn't joking, I was never told anything. I'd say most of my generation weren't, you learn from tv and friends etc. I've never heard of anyone sitting down an young child and explaining womens cycles.

jam_mac_jam

Just tell him without going into loads of detail, its not as big a deal for him as it is for you, just tell them when they ask in a simple way .

Delicate_Dlite

I think you're best just being honest or as others have said he'll pick it up (most likely incorrectly) from the school yard.

At 8 he probably won't be able to understand the entire system or be that curious, use what you believe is appropriate for his level/maturity/understanding. I'm sure there are books that help, if you're not quite sure how to phrase it.
I know my brother knew everything at 8, mainly due to an interest in nature. A very handy way of explaining it! Just be honest, use as many of the correct words as possible, if he's interested in nature use those examples or just the plain science.

Also, this is a handy trial run for the "sex talk", he already has learned to ask you rather than relying on the school yard for info, so well done on great parenting so far!

jam_mac_jam

Fittle wrote: »

And the simple way is......????

That if eggs are not used then they are released in a bit of blood every month.

Fittle

Cheers Delicate Dlite.

And thank you jacmacjam for the most amazingly simple sentence about this issue I've ever read...!

That's the one I'll use, thanks;)

mariaf24

Every month a mammy's belly gets ready to carry a baby. If there is no baby,a little bit of blood comes for a few days.

That's as simple as need be for an 8 year old.

But would that encourage 'How does the baby get there'? lol.

Fittle

From the age of the first questions, I've told him that mammies have eggs and daddies have seeds. The egg and the seed meet and make the baby..he's yet to ask how they meet, but that's next, I imagine;)

Sorry guys, have no male input here and am genuinely interested in guys input..

Don't wanna wreck his head at 8:p

Sharpshooter

Moved from After Hours.

OP, you will find this forum very helpful.

Nevyn

Fittle wrote: »

I can do the whole sex ed stuff, that's not a problem when he's older. Don't see why he'd need to know about women stuff at 8ish tho....

I had the same thing happen with my son at that age.
I asked him why he wanted to know, I told him that I would tell him everything about it when it was 12 but he didn't' need to know now and I made sure that if he hear anything about periods that he could come and ask me about it.

Fittle

Thanks Thaedyl. He's quite immature - but has seen too many tv ads and has pals with older sisters.....

I like the bit about 'if the baby isn't made, sum blood cums out'....I think that's simple but don't want him freaked out by women just yet, as he has alot of female pals (who are eight or under btw)....

Nevyn

I wouldnt say blood tbh, I just said the lining of the womb and they didn't ask further until they were older.

deisemum

IIRC my husband told our boys that lots of women turn into psychos once a month, I don't know where he got that one from.

In my boys school they're given the facts and they're taught about periods before or around the 9 years of age mark as girls as young as 9 are now having periods, some of the girls haven't been told a thing by their parents and they're the ones that end up crying. They're also given a very good booklet provided by the HSE.

Fittle

I didn't realise he might learn about it at 9 ...he's just going into 3rd class so will they learn stuff at this age yet? Like I mentioned, it's a boys school....
Don't envy the teacher that one...;)

mariaf24

The lining of the uterus is blood so you would emphasise a very little amount of blood. You would better off to be honest and mention the very little bloodloss as this is what children usually hear and that is what arouses their curiousity.(Of course this is your choice what you tell your child)
The school won't do anything without the consent of parents

shell42970

I'm in agreement with Delicate_Dlite's response and would have no qualms about explaining the very basics about what actually happens to my child, in a manner appropriate to his age. Our bodies are such amazing machines - the monthly cycles of women aren't anything to fear or be disgusted by. They're just a d@mned nuisance (though the kids don't need to know that.)

If you're hesitant to explain specifics though, you could try my mom's approach. She told us when we were young that every month a mommy's body made what was sort of like a little nest. If she didn't wind up with a baby to grow in the nest, then her body got rid of the old nest and began to make a fresh, new one. I remember it making perfect sense to my young mind, as I'd often seen birds building new nests each Spring.
I don't remember any of the four of us ever asking for more elaboration (like how the baby got there) at that age.
We got the specifics when we were pre-teens.

MrsA

This is the very reason that I have been talking to my 2.5 year old about things like this since he was born, no joke. He knows what tampons are, and he knows that mummy has bleeding but, it is not sore.

There will never be a "big talk" in our house. I would not be able for it!

holly_johnson

Delighted to have found this thread, I was going to post one myself!
My daughter is 9 and I can see some changes in her body happening. Particularly around the chest area. I know she's curious, as I've come across her examining herself, and when I asked if everything was ok, she went all red and wouldn't talk about it.
I've also noticed she's moody around once a month. Now I know it's very early (I was a late bloomer) but I feel I should try and explain something to her so she doesn't think anything is wrong.

This is where I come into problems. I received no "talk" from my mother at all, I honestly don't remember how I found out. It was probably secondary school. I'm at a loss how to explain it all to her.

Does anyone know of any literature/books that would be suitable for her or me, or have any suggestions that might help?

Nevyn

http://www.crisispregnancy.ie/parentresource.html#n0

Free Booklet for parents of 10-14 year olds - 'Busy Bodies'


Busy Bodies- A book about puberty for you and your parents' was developed to provide appropriate information to 5th & 6th class students on the physical and emotional changes that they may experience during puberty. The booklet was developed to help both parents and teachers in the delivery of Relationship & Sexuality Education (RSE) in the home and in school.

The booklet was produced by the Health Service Executive South working in partnership with the RSE Support Service, the National Parents Council (Primary) and the Crisis Pregnancy Agency.

The 'Busy Bodies' booklet, based on the 'Busy Bodies' DVD that is used in primary schools, provides appropriate information to 5th & 6th class students on the physical and emotional changes that they may experience during puberty including:

. How boys' bodies grow and develop during puberty
. How girls' bodies grow and develop, including menstruation
. How babies are made
. Enjoying growing up

Click here to download a copy of the booklet.

To order a copy of the Booklet, FreeText BUSY plus your name and address to 50444. Schools can order bulk copies of the booklet free of charge, through their local health promotion department.

Back To Top

LegacyUser

Wow MrsA...your 2.5yr old knows about periods! I should have said something to my son before now too - he's 10 and also in a boys school and has very few 'girl' friends. He's seen tampons and sanitary towels but I've never explained to him what they are.

Brings to mind the day he walked down the stairs at 4 though...with a sanitary towel stuck to his forehead saying he was playing hospital....in front of a room full of visitors...still makes me laugh and is definitely a story for his 21st!!!

MrsA

Unregistered wrote: »

Wow MrsA...your 2.5yr old knows about periods! I should have said something to my son before now too - he's 10 and also in a boys school and has very few 'girl' friends. He's seen tampons and sanitary towels but I've never explained to him what they are.

He knows the word, but, he is 2.5 so it means very little to him IYKWIM. He knows what tampons are and what/who they are for, but, again it means nothing to him. I just always knew I wanted a very open dialogue with my children, everything I learned about sex and periods was from my friends older sister - not all of it very factual.

Mick Daly

MrsA wrote: »

Everything I learned about sex and periods was from my friends older sister - not all of it very factual.

What fallacies were you presented with?