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Need Advice

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  • 28-06-2010 10:51am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok here it goes Ive been seeing this girl for 18 month we both are bi and we r not out only 2 a couple of my close friends.We always did things together never with any1 else we made the reltionship about us not any1 else. anyways she for the 1st time in 18 month met my friends then she met my family (just as a friend) every1 loved her. I think its moving 2 fast so i told her i need space so now we r on a break now i dont no what to do HELP!!!!!


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    #2
    AvaKinder
    Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭AvaKinder


    Hi there,
    Can I ask why you think things are moving too fast? I reckon most people would think it quite normal to have met someones family within the first year, unless it was a very casual or very closeted relationship. Did she have difficulty with not being open about your relationship?


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    #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    HELP!! I need somebody wrote: »
    I think its moving 2 fast

    I would not consider 18 months as moving too fast.

    What's going on here that you are leaving out? You come across as panicked, can you explain why in more detail?


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I guess im scared cause its my first proper relationship with a girl and we r both in the closet


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    #5
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    18 months? Thats a snails pace. If you aren't going to commit and come out for her leave her. You're leading her down the garden path.


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    #6
    rere
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭rere


    Do you think you might have panicked and gone on a break because with her starting to be involved in your "other life" it suddenly became more real, and probably one step closer to coming out to your family?
    Just an idea.


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    #7
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    Heres a suggestion, talk to her!!!

    It sounds to me like your freaked out about your family knowing, probably not a healthy situation but my girlfriends family get on great with me and don't have a clue I'm going out with her. She'll come out when shes ready as will you, I think your girlfriend would understand that if you talked about it... I don't think its going too fast for you it may just be a little too close for comfort?

    Don't mess her about though, most of the times I've heard the term "on a break" thats how its wound up, so you need to have a good look at your issues and discuss them, rather then just subjecting her to the outcome..


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    #8
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    HELP!! I need somebody wrote: »
    I guess im scared cause its my first proper relationship with a girl and we r both in the closet

    If you really care for this person, then instead of breaking up with her you should be sitting her down and having a serious discussion regarding your future.
    It is unfair of you to be messing with her head.


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    #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    wonderfulname wrote: »
    Heres a suggestion, talk to her!!!

    It sounds to me like your freaked out about your family knowing, probably not a healthy situation but my girlfriends family get on great with me and don't have a clue I'm going out with her. She'll come out when shes ready as will you, I think your girlfriend would understand that if you talked about it... I don't think its going too fast for you it may just be a little too close for comfort?

    Don't mess her about though, most of the times I've heard the term "on a break" thats how its wound up, so you need to have a good look at your issues and discuss them, rather then just subjecting her to the outcome..

    Thats exactly how i feel


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