ladies . . .worst pick up line????

smokie2008

Silverfish wrote: »

Alright people, less rape jokes and insinuations please.

Lighten up!!

Silverfish

smokie2008 wrote: »

Lighten up!!

I suggest you read the charter before posting here again.

Parsley

me friend had a lad say to her "if i'd somewhere to go back to, i'd flake ya".

A V A

god this thread has picked up

starlit

a guy onced said to me "you look like an angel that came down from the heavens" I honestly didn't believe him. talk about lame! :rolleyes:

Fluorescence

This was a few years back, when I had braces (probably around 14/15).

Him: "Pretty braces. Where'd you get them? :cool:"
Me: "The orthodontist..? "
Him: "That's cool!"

bowsie010

"You're so lovely I'd eat your shyte"

Nuggles

Once you got short you never go back.

From a fella about a foot shorter than me.

ztoical

Got two awful lines almost back to back this weekend. First late friday night coming stopped into local shop to pick up some milk and cat food. Shop is across from a night club so full of drunk lads buying smokes. While waiting in line very drunk guy leans over and goes "Do you have a cat?" Not in the mood to deal with said drunk guy I just threw back at him "No this is for my tea" He then goes "Aw that's a shame, I find women who have cats to be very sexy" followed by really lecherous leer. WTF? I'm not sure what he thought that line was going to get him other then a tin of cat food chucked at his head.

Following day out in local shopping center which has a forzen yogurt place called snog. Their menus say "do you fancy a snog?" While wandering around the stores a guy walks up to me holds up one of the snog menus, points at the fancy a snog line, winks, then looks at me expectantly. Stopped, looked at menu, looked at guy [wasn't bad looking, but bit young] and went "No" and walked off.

Seriously lads time and place!

dublingal80

last week a guy said to my friend " i want to lick you ****"

yeah it was early in the night and everything... didnt work! :rolleyes:

princess-lala

Saturday at Oxegen a kinda okish looking guy came up to me and asked would I like to take a roll in the muck with him :rolleyes:

So didnt work:eek:

MJOR

similar to another poster...

Nice tits , how much they cost ya?

I despair

Scarinae

Ever heard that classic cheesy line: "Your father must be a thief, because he's stolen the stars and put them in your eyes" (*vomits*)

Anyway when I was in school, I think it was back in transition year, a guy in my year had a few too many drinks on night and tried it on a girl, although he couldn't remember it properly. He ended up blurting out: "Your dad must be a farmer cos you've got nice melons!" He got a slap for his efforts

storm2811

Random Fella : It's my birthday,wink wink
Me : Yes,and...?
RF : Don't I deserve a kiss?wink wink
Me : *sigh*

I was confused more than anything.:pac:

yourdeadwright

i still cant beleive some blokes use pick up line, surely they are just taking the mick, i could never say any to a girl with out feeling like a tool,

Although is going over to a girl and saying hi you having a good night or something chatty like that still counted as pick up line or do gilrs just see it as someone looking for a chat,

NoHornJan

At the end of a country dance years ago, my aunt was asked by a local farmer if she wanted a lift home. She asked him what kind of car he had. He said he hadn't a car but that he had a big stick outside!!!:D

Wacker

Tips for the lads here: this isn't a pick-up line, exactly. It's just a sure-fire way of getting a girl to laugh. You'll then have the option of throwing a friendly smile and just walking away, or starting conversation. Correct context & delivery is essential though. In a situation where a girl has done any act of kindness to you; held a door while you're carrying pints, served you a drink, lit your cigarette, etc. Then, try this:

"Do you know what you have in common with Barbie?" Say this with a slight cheeky grin, but not too much. The girl will brace for impact, thinking it will be about her breasts or something equally sleazy. She'll probably defensively reply "Go on...."
"You're a doll!" Big happy smile to accompany it.

I've used this line a million times. It has received a bad reaction once, and she was a bit of a b*tch. Try it!

Scarinae

Wacker wrote: »

Tips for the lads here:

In the Ladies' Lounge?!

offaly1

Wacker wrote: »

Tips for the lads here: this isn't a pick-up line, exactly. It's just a sure-fire way of getting a girl to laugh. You'll then have the option of throwing a friendly smile and just walking away, or starting conversation. Correct context & delivery is essential though. In a situation where a girl has done any act of kindness to you; held a door while you're carrying pints, served you a drink, lit your cigarette, etc. Then, try this:

"Do you know what you have in common with Barbie?" Say this with a slight cheeky grin, but not too much. The girl will brace for impact, thinking it will be about her breasts or something equally sleazy. She'll probably defensively reply "Go on...."
"You're a doll!" Big happy smile to accompany it.

I've used this line a million times. It has received a bad reaction once, and she was a bit of a b*tch. Try it!

I'll be watching out for that one now! mind you im after laughing reading it..:o

newtoboards

Don't flatter yourself but I think I might like you :-)

Wacker

Where better? I doubt I'm the only bloke that reads these pages far more often than The Gentlemen's Club, for instance. Knowing what how the fairer sex thinks is very important.

Silverfish

Wacker wrote: »

Where better? I doubt I'm the only bloke that reads these pages far more often than The Gentlemen's Club, for instance. Knowing what how the fairer sex thinks is very important.

But that's not what this forum is for

If you want to post pick up tips for men, you might want to post those in the Gentlemen's Club instead.

Fluorescence

Wacker wrote: »

Tips for the lads here: this isn't a pick-up line, exactly. It's just a sure-fire way of getting a girl to laugh. You'll then have the option of throwing a friendly smile and just walking away, or starting conversation. Correct context & delivery is essential though. In a situation where a girl has done any act of kindness to you; held a door while you're carrying pints, served you a drink, lit your cigarette, etc. Then, try this:

"Do you know what you have in common with Barbie?" Say this with a slight cheeky grin, but not too much. The girl will brace for impact, thinking it will be about her breasts or something equally sleazy. She'll probably defensively reply "Go on...."
"You're a doll!" Big happy smile to accompany it.

I've used this line a million times. It has received a bad reaction once, and she was a bit of a b*tch. Try it!

Haha that's brilliant :P

babyfratelli_x

Was workin abroad recently and met a group of Irish people-(late 30s early40s)
Was doing p.r work and gettin paid on commission when they asked me did I make much money.
Told them not really but got free drinks and was good craic etc.... Bout 5 mins into the conversation, really sleazy guy leans over and whispers "Ill pay you more money than youll make in a week over here if you come into the bathroom and f*ck me rite now!! :eek:

And he was serious!!

I quickly told him where to go and made a quick escape!!

Also got told by an Italian, that I had "lovely, lovely dots!!" I think he meant my freckles!

Smort Kid

WER LIKE HAIRY COWS AND TOFFEE,,LETS GET TOGETHER

Fluorescence

Smort Kid wrote: »

WER LIKE HAIRY COWS AND TOFFEE,,LETS GET TOGETHER

I think we have a winner :eek: :pac:

ButtersSuki

In a "classy joint" in town years ago, good-looking girl comes up to me and here's the conversation:

GLG: Can I ask you a question?
ME: Of course.
GLG: What height are you?
ME: 6'6"
GLG: That's good because I only do guys over 6'3".
ME: Wow, you'll be some challenge.

I was interested until she came out with the "I only do" bit. I feel your pain laydeez!

pearliefan

Guy: "You know how I know we're going to have sex tonight?"
Me: "Eh.. what ?!"
Guy: "Because I'm stronger than you!"

hehe... it was my friend so I knew I was safe, though I was shocked for a second!

le souteneur

a friend of mine was in barcode on the northside and a girl came walking up to him.
Girl: did you get the number?
friend: what number?
Girl: the number of the bus?
friend: the number of what bus?
Girl: the number of the bus that ran over your face

burn

offaly1

le souteneur wrote: »

a friend of mine was in barcode on the northside and a girl came walking up to him.
Girl: did you get the number?
friend: what number?
Girl: the number of the bus?
friend: the number of what bus?
Girl: the number of the bus that ran over your face

burn

Oh ........ Ouch!!

Catari Jaguar

Some ponce came up to my cousin when she was in Lillies Whoredello and asked if she was "odd or even" and she's like wtf? He wanted to know her postcode like was she from D4... She said she was from Clontarf (3) and he said "I guess that's acceptable". She told him where to go.

Dolbert

Guy: 'What's your name?'
Me: 'Dolores'
Guy: 'Dolores, Dolly... like Dolly Parton, but without the t!ts. So how 'bout it?'

For some reason he was unimpessed when insulting me didn't work. The fact that I'm a D-Cup makes it even more of a puzzler

christina_x

a lad came up to us one night

"Girls.. say hello to tyson *pulls bulldog puppet from pocket*"

Bonito

Heard this one before, I couldn't stop laughing.

It was at a neon/luminous party.

Guy: "Did you know that yellow is 73% more noticeable than other colours"
Girl: "Nope, that's pretty cool."
Guy: "Yeah, so, will you Golden Shower me so the other girls will notice me more?"


And he was doing so well. :pac:

spudd

don't know why this one worked, but it did!

had been friends with a guy for years, was starting to think there was more between us when we were out one night, drunkenly dancing away when he smiled, leaned over and said 'i'm definitely gonna try chancing you later' before walking away....hour or two later and it all kicked off

George Orwell 1982

There was a thread on this on after hours. A got the best laugh out of these two:

How's you belly for a bastard?

Get your coat, I'm locked.

herisson

ye have a nice arse can i have a go of it?!!! f*cking creep

some guy asked my cousin if he could cum on her face for a fiver :eek: thats just disgusting!!!

smaaaa

are you a parking ticket CAUSE YOU GOT FINE WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU :-)

OH and another one your the best thing to come out of tallaght since robbie keane :-):D:D

dammitjanet

"it's my birthday, will you score me?"

no

Jumpy

Confidence and Humour is everything. Regardless of looks (within reason)

If only I could get women to laugh like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGzmGTHalM8

Guess the pickup line of the century in this one

Sabatage

cazzycaz wrote: »

I was working in a bar in England when an Irish guy came in and asked me 'have i any Irish in me' I said no and he said 'would you like some ?'

He robbed that from Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous live album "Is there anybody here with any Irish in them - Is there any of the girls who would like a little more Irish in them" !!

leahyl

"that dress looks fabulous on you.....it'd look even better on my bedroom floor...." :rolleyes:

Scarinae

leahyl wrote: »

"that dress looks fabulous on you.....it'd look even better on my bedroom floor...." :rolleyes:

Hah, a guy once tried a version of that on a friend of mine - "You look good in that dress, but you'd look better on my d1ck" Seriously, wtf?

A V A

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

NoHornJan

I'm a cukoo and I want to lay eggs in your nest...

Esel

A V A wrote: »

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

"Why thank you, kind sir. Now piss off, you unoriginal berk!"

Ianatg, btw.

A V A

esel wrote: »

"Why thank you, kind sir. Now piss off, you unoriginal berk!"

Ianatg, btw.

???????? what haha

Novella

A V A wrote: »

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

I'd say, "Thanks". Yup, that's pretty much it!

The Lovely Muffin

Novella wrote: »

I'd say, "Thanks". Yup, that's pretty much it!

Exactly what I'd say too.

A V A

if they said something bad for no reason i would quikly reply with " that dress doesnt do you any favors " . . . if theyre guna be a bitch so can i heheh