Thursday

MonkieSocks

Only a Farm Kid...

When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little bit different.

A Queensland farmer drove to a neighbours' farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door

"Is your Dad home?" said the farmer.

"No mate, he isn't; he went to town."

"Well, is your Mother here?"

"No, she went to town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No mate, he went with Mum and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

After a few seconds the boy asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?

I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.

It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Susie pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment.

"You would have to talk to Dad about that.

I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig,

but I don't know how much he charges for Howard.

_____________________

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws


1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.