Where do you meet guys these days?

Lux23

When I was 23 I was walking along Westland Row when some guy just walked up to me shoving a piece of paper in my face. At first I thought he was attacking me and then I realised he was trying to give me his phone number and asking me to call him if I wanted to go for a drink sometime. Needless to say the way he approached me was quite scary and I screamed no get away from me and a couple of men came over thinking he was attacking me. Looking back on it I feel really sorry for him now, must have knocked his confidence for a while.

Novella

George Orwell 1982 wrote: »

Oh come on. How would that work. "Thats a nice bunch of banana's you have there". You can't walk up to a total stranger and start a random conversation with the aim of asking them out on a date. Anyone waiting for someone to come up to them in Tesco and ask them out - good luck to them.

I think it's so strange, the attitude so many people have to chatting with a stranger. You're not a five year old, I'm sure you have some kind of social skills that allow you to think of an appropriate opening for a conversation. "Gosh, it's really busy in here today, isn't it? / Hey, do you have the time?" or if you see someone struggling with bags etc., "Oh, let me give you a hand with that!".
Sometimes people will respond well and you'll hit it off and who knows what could come from that. Some people will of course look at you like you're insane, but that isn't your problem, it's theirs.

No one is saying go wait in Tesco to be asked out on a date, but if everyone stopped thinking that the only place it's socially acceptable to talk to someone you don't know is in a pub/club, the dating scene would probably be a hell of a lot easier.

George Orwell 1982

Novella wrote: »

I think it's so strange, the attitude so many people have to chatting with a stranger. You're not a five year old, I'm sure you have some kind of social skills that allow you to think of an appropriate opening for a conversation. "Gosh, it's really busy in here today, isn't it? / Hey, do you have the time?" or if you see someone struggling with bags etc., "Oh, let me give you a hand with that!".
Sometimes people will respond well and you'll hit it off and who knows what could come from that. Some people will of course look at you like you're insane, but that isn't your problem, it's theirs.

I have no problem talking to strangers. But in anwser to the OP's question, chatting up strangers in a shopping centre is not the answer.

Bella_purple

Lux23 I assume you are good looking. Maybe men see attractive ladies as in not the types of wives, serious relationship; maybe they regard to these type of women as lightly.

I have had many conversations with my friend about why are we single, even if we are considered attracted, let's say. So maybe there's something we don't do good as the relationship develops.

My current state of relationship is "I don't know", for my bf is back in his country, Ireland and he says he comes back whenever we speak on the phone. But I don't know what to say about distance relationships...

For 4 years I'm unable to have a relationship that can last more than 3 months. It's true that my last one I decided to left when it wasn't really the case, I mean I misinterpreted facts. I should have been more flexible. After a while he wanted to start over again, but I was in another relationship so I refused. So the thing is, from what I think: there's no rule in everything... This doesn't meen you shouldn't analyse your problemes see where you can improve.


Good luck, Lux23 (even if I don't belive in luck, I belive in what yourself can do in your life).



*Sorry for my bad English!*

Howard the Duck

I'd gladly chat away to anybody in a supermarket or another public place. But if a girl started a conversation with me in those places i would never for one second think she was hitting on me.

Lynnsie

George Orwell 1982 wrote: »

I have no problem talking to strangers. But in anwser to the OP's question, chatting up strangers in a shopping centre is not the answer.

Why not? No one is suggesting that she spends her time hanging around shops waiting to see someone to chat up, but if for example she was waiting in a supermarket queue behind a guy she found attractive, what's the harm in starting a conversation? So nothing might come of it, still a nice way to spend a few minutes

George Orwell 1982

Miss Lala wrote: »

Why not? No one is suggesting that she spends her time hanging around shops waiting to see someone to chat up, but if for example she was waiting in a supermarket queue behind a guy she found attractive, what's the harm in starting a conversation? So nothing might come of it, still a nice way to spend a few minutes

Fine, if you see a good looking guy/girl and you have the opportunity to chat them up in a random place, go for it. I'm sure people do meet this way, nevertheless the chances of meeting someone this way are, I suspect, pretty small.

Also there is a big difference between chatting with a stranger and asking them out on a date.

Lynnsie

George Orwell 1982 wrote: »

Fine, if you see a good looking guy/girl and you have the opportunity to chat them up in a random place, go for it. I'm sure people do meet this way, nevertheless the chances of meeting someone this way are, I suspect, pretty small.

Also there is a big difference between chatting with a stranger and asking them out on a date.

Yes but it could lead to it. And if you get into the habit of chatting to strangers without it being a big deal, you're likely to get more comfortable and confident doing it which will help if you do want to ask someone on a date.

Tony Sopranoe

I think the more a person talks the more opportunities they come into, alternatively they may encounters more timewasters too.

George Orwell 1982

Miss Lala wrote: »

Yes but it could lead to it. And if you get into the habit of chatting to strangers without it being a big deal, you're likely to get more comfortable and confident doing it which will help if you do want to ask someone on a date.

This is true. Its good to be confident and be able to talk to anyone anywhere. Nevertheless if I was putting together a plan to increase my chances of meeting people I would be looking more towards clubs, friends of friends, house parties, workmates, sports, etc.

Pittens

This thread is running at cross purposes. Talking to strangers, not exclusively women, is something i do all the time in RL. Although never in supermarkets - but then I shop in a local shop mostly. But with bar maids ( or staff: friendly is friendly), women on buses, women on trains, on planes etc. The thing is to have a normal conversation. I have got the number of two women in my life on a plane, never on a train, and nothing came of either - although we had nice conversations for a few hours.

i dont get how exactly the pickup would work in a supermarket. Firstly, though I have talked to people in line in a queue in a shop, it seems a bit rude to talk to someone who wants to get their shopping done, and is busying about. A bus stop, it isnt. It is not leisure time. Or free time.

Secondly I think the chances of getting a date are slim. how would it go

ME: hello there. Nice deal on the asparagus.
Them: Yes...um... cheap enough.
ME: Wanna go out sometime, here is my number.

There just isnt that much time for the rapport.

Planes, - well you are sitting besides someone, trains too, buses. And if you miss an opportunity they are often on the same bus the next day. Unless people shop at the exact same time every week, to meet the same person is a bit stalkerish.

Anyway none of these are best. Get out there and join clubs, meet people at work, never turn down a party.

fiokool

i think i would definitely need a boost of confidence to start to talk to guys in ramdon everyday places. Am ok (well i prob would go red!) if someone starts talking to me but cant initiate it myself

fiokool

actually its all so hard this single dating thing im giving up i think i would look rather fetching in a habit black is my colour

Pittens

black is slimming.

MoodeRator

fiokool wrote: »

actually its all so hard this single dating thing im giving up i think i would look rather fetching in a habit black is my colour

Nah dont give up! Just try to feel more comfortable and relaxed aout yourself!

the_syco

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

I started a conversation in a supermarket that led to a pretty long(granted on/off) relationship.Id seen her around a bit and just recommended something to her while she was looking at cereal.Its not rocket science to start a random conversation

A cereal dater? :P :pac:

fiokool

no i think i could be quite happy in the nunary....... I just have to pray a little bit, not curse, and look generally holy
then im free to do whatever which if its anything like sound of music which i am assuming is nearly 95% fact
The rest of the time ill be singing and frolicking on the hills great! who needs men?!

panda100

Pittens wrote: »

i dont get how exactly the pickup would work in a supermarket. Firstly, though I have talked to people in line in a queue in a shop, it seems a bit rude to talk to someone who wants to get their shopping done, and is busying about. A bus stop, it isnt. It is not leisure time. Or free time.

Secondly I think the chances of getting a date are slim. how would it go

ME: hello there. Nice deal on the asparagus.
Them: Yes...um... cheap enough.
ME: Wanna go out sometime, here is my number.

There just isnt that much time for the rapport.

Yeah I think thats the prob really.How do you go from lighthearted banter to swapping phone numbers?

It would be lovely to be chatted up in a non-pub atmosphere.Can't say its ever happened to me. I always need the crutch of alcohol If I'm to build up the courage to ask someone out.

Howard the Duck

panda100 wrote: »

It would be lovely to be chatted up in a non-pub atmosphere.Can't say its ever happened to me. I always need the crutch of alcohol If I'm to build up the courage to ask someone out.

Yea me too. I've never asked a girl out when i've been sober. But thats irish people in general i think.
In answer to the OP i think clubs/pubs are still the best places to meet people. I think you're going to the wrong clubs if you can't find any single guys. Town is normally full of them at the weekend.

Snoopy1

Well i always look bad in supermarkets, as i usually rush in and fly round the shop.
The same for the gym, no -one is going to want to talk to me, when im a sweaty beetroot mess!!!
Im so sad that im actually waiting on a text message from a guy i met last night.
Really am giving up on men now!!!

dellas1979

Well, all I can say is that - girls keep smiling and fellas keep approaching (dont give up!!). Maybe if we were all friendlier to each other we would have better chances.

Pittens

here's a trick for some guys. I dont do it as I like to be on buses with spare room and am one of those who put bags on seats. And you need to be the kind of guy who is always "on", always flirting. Not me.

Anyway was waiting for a provincial bus with a friend. We were early and in the front of the queue. He turns around and then grabs me and says, lets go get a coffee ( it was busarus I think). I say "nuts, the bus is leaving in 5, lets stay here and get seats".

But we go. Reason: He spotted a cute girl behind ( far enough behind to not hear our conversation). So the trick was to drop back and get on the bus late when all double seats are taken either by couples, people travelling together, or were occupied by one person. Then it didnt seem odd to ask to sit beside the cute girl as only single seats beside people were left. It would have been were the bus mostly empty, of course.


Of course there is a risk that the seat beside the target is taken but you take your chances.

That left me sitting beside some drunk old man, if I recall. Anyway he got on well with her and got her number ( second trick is to not talk until the last hour apparantly).

Thats for free. Never tried it myself. Need legroom.

Howard the Duck

Snoopy1 wrote: »

Im so sad that im actually waiting on a text message from a guy i met last night.
Really am giving up on men now!!!

C'mon you know he has to wait a few days .. thems the rules

the_syco

Snoopy1 wrote: »

Im so sad that im actually waiting on a text message from a guy i met last night.
Really am giving up on men now!!!

Why don't you text him? Ah yes, you are playing "the game"... :rolleyes:

vicecreamsundae

the best way to meet guys is through friends, i think.
i've met some great guys through friends, or their houseparties. the atmosphere is always casual and relaxed, the people are already semi-screened [if they were psychos, why would your friends be friends with them?] you will prob have some stuff in common and it's easy to start up conversation... and there will be a mutual friend you can probably ask those important questions like "is he seeing anyone?" and " did he say if he liked me?" if neccessary.

ask your friend to invite some people over for dinner or drinks or to arrange a night out with some of their goodlooking single friends [or their boyfriends single friends or whatever.]

i think the online thing can work too, you just have to not give up after a week or a bad date or two.

Snoopy1

I had text him, was just waiting on a reply.
He rang last night so happy days

dreamstar

Ok I know a great place to meet a guy.
The gym!
I booked in for an assessment and the gym instructor I got was so hot and really nice.
I'm tellin ya if I was single......;)
Or you could even ask a hot guy to help you with the equipment??

starlit

when out shopping, on public transport and while I was working and when I was in college and especially when I use to go to the library might get continuous stares on occasion which freaked me out a bit, but find guys are more attracted to me when I hang out with my friends whether its at a pub/club/late bar or just out for a meal or going for walks or shopping with my friends (mixture of male/female) weird really. best suggestion is to join a club or take up a new hobby you never know who you might meet.

Howard the Duck

dreamstar wrote: »

Ok I know a great place to meet a guy.
The gym!
I booked in for an assessment and the gym instructor I got was so hot and really nice.
I'm tellin ya if I was single......;)
Or you could even ask a hot guy to help you with the equipment??

From reading the health and fitness forums it seems most people think the gym is off limits when it comes to picking up people.
I go to the gym and wouldn't try hit on any of the girls there.. even though some of them are really hot

Lia_lia

I meet guys through friends. The majority of my friends are guys and they have lots of friends that are guys so er...yeah. Never met a guy randomly and started anything with him. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing really!

Lux23

Why is everyone using the word 'guys' now? I have to stop myself from doing it, I think it makes a girl seem like a SATC devotee who thinks that SATC is actual a reality programme. Or like some idiot from The Hills. I don't like it.

boredatwork82

Guest 2010 wrote: »

But where exactly do go to to meet nice normal men (in a decent pub) over thirty ish or younger ( I may become a cougar - have not decided) that carry less baggage than ryanair. I m sick of meeting drunk- demented-drugged- pretenious men. I would consider myself decent -easygoing and love to have a good laugh . Unable to find this in Dublin ....WHY

The Arlington - Some lucky cougar bagged me on Saturday night! Whilst admittedly I was a bit drunk, I was still witty, hilarious and not on drugs but may be considered a bit cracked.

Vinta81

Lux23 wrote: »

Why is everyone using the word 'guys' now? I have to stop myself from doing it, I think it makes a girl seem like a SATC devotee who thinks that SATC is actual a reality programme. Or like some idiot from The Hills. I don't like it.

Err pardon?

Columbia

Online is good.

I've had three serious girlfriends, two of whom I met online and one of whom I met at university.

The girl I met at university turned out to be the crazy. Making up friends (going as far as setting up Myspace pages and editing herself into photos with random strangers!), lying about being raped, breaking into my room and rooting through my laptop while I was gone grocery shopping

Howard the Duck

Lux23 wrote: »

Why is everyone using the word 'guys' now? I have to stop myself from doing it, I think it makes a girl seem like a SATC devotee who thinks that SATC is actual a reality programme. Or like some idiot from The Hills. I don't like it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tN1AaHaqj4Q

Muffin top

Pittens wrote: »

here's a trick for some guys. I dont do it as I like to be on buses with spare room and am one of those who put bags on seats. And you need to be the kind of guy who is always "on", always flirting. Not me.

Anyway was waiting for a provincial bus with a friend. We were early and in the front of the queue. He turns around and then grabs me and says, lets go get a coffee ( it was busarus I think). I say "nuts, the bus is leaving in 5, lets stay here and get seats".

But we go. Reason: He spotted a cute girl behind ( far enough behind to not hear our conversation). So the trick was to drop back and get on the bus late when all double seats are taken either by couples, people travelling together, or were occupied by one person. Then it didnt seem odd to ask to sit beside the cute girl as only single seats beside people were left. It would have been were the bus mostly empty, of course.


Of course there is a risk that the seat beside the target is taken but you take your chances.

That left me sitting beside some drunk old man, if I recall. Anyway he got on well with her and got her number ( second trick is to not talk until the last hour apparantly).

Thats for free. Never tried it myself. Need legroom.

It would be so funny to sit right next to someone on the bus if it were empty; in other words all the other seats are free but you choose the spot right next to them..cosy.

Nulty

Muffin top wrote: »

It would be so funny to sit right next to someone on the bus if it were empty; in other words all the other seats are free but you choose the spot right next to them..cosy.

I'm going to do that next time! I'll report back who it was and how it went

BumbleB

boredatwork82 wrote: »

The Arlington - Some lucky cougar bagged me on Saturday night! Whilst admittedly I was a bit drunk, I was still witty, hilarious and not on drugs but may be considered a bit cracked.

I was walking past there last sat night and the club there is called "cougars" now !!!.



Seriously what kind of a fcuked up country do we live in that we cannot talk to people randomly on the go.USA has the right idea ,when I was in the train in Boston two random absolutely hot looking latino's sat right beside me and actually initiated a conversation ,they came to the gig I was playing at and we went for a few drinks that night.

Muffin top

I have to say having travelled quite abit, I found it the complete opposite. Peoplpe talk to me randomly all the time; not leading to anything just coversation.
I think it's alot to do with your attitude and demeanour; maybe you were more open to being to being approached while you were travelling.

yourdeadwright

I think blokes will be surprised if they actully try and talk to good looking girls out and about most will glady strike up a conversation, I found i was very shy till i got a long term girlfriend, now if i see a nice girl ill no bother have a chat,

Gang of Gin

donfers wrote: »

what about if there were some kind of system where we could nominate certain supermarkets as being "flirt-friendly" or something and if this was well advertised and had some symbol, say a flag on top of the supermarket with lipstick marks on it or something that let people know who entered it that random chats were the norm in there and not to be alarmed if someone admired your coconuts while shopping in there and started up a conversation.

good idea?

Haha. Somewhat reminds me of an odd thought quite a few years ago...me and a friend of mine were talking about 'moments' had with strangers in terms of eye contact and positive vibes that might occur in the street or some outlet in town, but you never had the courage to speak to the person at that particular time - we decided that there should be rule whereby the two persons should go back to the said place one week from the day at the exact time, so you'd know if there was a connection made - but the downside to that would be, should you arrive and the other person doesn't. Could hit home that it was a right case of delusion to begin with.