girls coming onto guys

magotch07

lads does this happen to you very much....in niteclubs/pubs or just out in general

it has been happening to me a lil bit lately (i know im bragging but ya know yourself) and its a serious ego boost

elnino35

constantly swatting them away from me....oh wait..thats just the flies:o

RedRebel

I find I'm at my best when I'm seeing someone. It's a feast or a famine with me :mad:

A tip, week nights are where its at. Wednesday night = business time

elnino35

RedRebel wrote: »

I find I'm at my best when I'm seeing someone. It's a feast or a famine with me :mad:

A tip, week nights are where its at. Wednesday night = business time

and where mite this be?????????;)

magotch07

elnino35 wrote: »

constantly swatting them away from me....oh wait..thats just the flies:o

ha ha mate love it it prob is the ladies

RedRebel wrote: »

I find I'm at my best when I'm seeing someone. It's a feast or a famine with me :mad:

A tip, week nights are where its at. Wednesday night = business time

redrebel i agree with you man totally...with my gf a lil while now and in the passed 6 month i have had 2 girls (in particular) come onto me that i know for a fact would never have come near me beforehand....both were pretty much way out of my league.... the most recent 1 in particular amazing looking and pretty sound girl...

i think men give off some sort of smell to say we are attached or maybe we are just not as desparate as usual and its noticed;)

homerun_homer

Doesn't happen too often because I when I do go out locally it's to the same spots with the same people. I've noticed that when I head to Galway for a night out there's a far better chance of it happening though, never in Dublin.

elnino35

magotch07 wrote: »

ha ha mate love it it prob is the ladies



...

i think men give off some sort of smell to say we are attached or maybe we are just not as desparate as usual and its noticed;)

or maybe its because we no longer have our knobs hanging out trying to lure 'em in:D

magotch07

elnino35 wrote: »

or maybe its because we no longer have our knobs hanging out trying to lure 'em in:D

is that not how we get them damm always knew i was doing something wrong

RedRebel

elnino35 wrote: »

and where mite this be?????????;)

Any place that's even somewhat busy on a Tuesday/Wednesday. Young professional ladies out on the town til the early hours with work to get up to early in the morning. There's only one thing people will put themselves through for that

Elessar

Yeah it's because girls always want what they can't have. Fellas too but it's more pronounced in women.

I think they see it as a challenge. She wants you to want her over your current partner.

the_syco

RedRebel wrote: »

Young professional ladies out on the town til the early hours with work to get up to early in the morning. There's only one thing people will put themselves through for that

Please list these places

elnino35

RedRebel wrote: »

Any place that's even somewhat busy on a Tuesday/Wednesday. Young professional ladies out on the town til the early hours with work to get up to early in the morning. There's only one thing people will put themselves through for that

Thats it..im breaking open me piggy bank and hitting the town 2nite...oh and a sign round me neck saying " professionals" only!!

The_Kew_Tour

Some places I seem to do much better then others.

I do seem to get at least one girl approach me most nights I go out.

RedRebel

elnino35 wrote: »

Thats it..im breaking open me piggy bank and hitting the town 2nite...oh and a sign round me neck saying " professionals" only!!

Don't forget to give em 'the look'!

SoulTrader

magotch07 wrote: »

i think men give off some sort of smell to say we are attached or maybe we are just not as desparate as usual and its noticed;)

I've heard it said that women prefer attached men because, simply by being attached, it means another woman has already "screened" that man and deemed him as a suitable companion. Therefore, the ground work has already been done for them. I like that theory. Since being attached, women are definitely more likely to pursue me than in the past, not that I go out much now anyway. Also, I think women just prefer the company of men who aren't pushy or desperate, which unfortunately is how a lot of single men might act around them. Married / attached men don't crave female attention, and wind up getting a lot more of it for that very reason!

NothingMan

There's one girl in particular at the moment. Fairly flirty with me when introduced then eased off when I mentioned my gf. Been at a few parties recently and once the drink is flowing she's really flirty. Pisses off my single mates, she's a gorgeous girl with the most perfect bottom.....

Seriously, I would never cheat, but it is a very nice ego boost.

elnino35

RedRebel wrote: »

Don't forget to give em 'the look'!

practising me best " peter sutcliffe " one now in the mirror

Snowie

I prefer it when we booth come on to teach other sooooooooooo sooooooooo sooooooooooooooo sexy

Galvasean

RedRebel wrote: »

I find I'm at my best when I'm seeing someone.

magotch07 wrote: »

i think men give off some sort of smell to say we are attached or maybe we are just not as desparate as usual and its noticed;)

I have noticed this too. When I'm with someone I can't keep 'em at bay. When I'm single it's virtually non-existant.

entropi

magotch07 wrote: »

i know for a fact would never have come near me beforehand....both were pretty much way out of my league....

There is no such thing as someone being "out of your league" btw;)

RedRebel wrote: »

Any place that's even somewhat busy on a Tuesday/Wednesday. Young professional ladies out on the town til the early hours with work to get up to early in the morning. There's only one thing people will put themselves through for that

the_syco wrote: »

Please list these places

Well in Dublin, best place on a Wed for that sort of drunken action I've seen yet is Diceys...cheap drinks dont help either party:pac:

OP, not sounding really arrogant or cocky about it, but I've only ever had to approach a woman once, the rest of the time they have come on to me and it is a nice thing to see happening:) The best part is that nobody was a drunken mess at any stage, seems like alot of women out there are finally realising they can be the ones to chat up lads while out and about, and not have to rely on us doing it...because signals usually will not work:p

I'm forever single too, which is strange as I've always noticed women coming on to attached guys...must be the whole "comfortable with who you are" dealio

HavingCrack

Oh dear I can see trouble coming along in this thread from a certain individual and his ideas...

Butch Cassidy

magotch07 wrote: »

i think men give off some sort of smell to say we are attached or maybe we are just not as desparate as usual and its noticed;)

You're not alone my friend, you're not alone.

btw, thread should be renamed "Girls coming onto Guys who have a partner"

Elessar wrote: »

Yeah it's because girls always want what they can't have. Fellas too but it's more pronounced in women.

I think they see it as a challenge. She wants you to want her over your current partner.

It's all a bit primal isn't it?

Elessar

Butch Cassidy wrote: »

It's all a bit primal isn't it?

It is. I notice it even when flirting with a girl, if you "turn off" (i.e. ignore them, don't make eye contact) it drives them crazy and they want you more.

Mr Cawley

boy: not interested...
Girl(why doesn't he like me)

and then: girl 'does her own head in' enough to want any attention from the boy to settle her mind.

factual gents, factual:cool:

the_syco

SoulTrader wrote: »

I've heard it said that women prefer attached men because, simply by being attached, it means another woman has already "screened" that man and deemed him as a suitable companion. Therefore, the ground work has already been done for them. I like that theory. Since being attached, women are definitely more likely to pursue me than in the past, not that I go out much now anyway. Also, I think women just prefer the company of men who aren't pushy or desperate, which unfortunately is how a lot of single men might act around them. Married / attached men don't crave female attention, and wind up getting a lot more of it for that very reason!

Or the woman sees a happy couple, and thinks that if she replaces the woman, she'll be in that happy couple, without thinking that they're a happy couple cos they're together, if you understand me.

BumbleB

I find if you kinda ignore women they will approach you a lot more. I'm not talking about being rude .What I mean is give them less attention than the average horny guy like not staring at them or making them feel like sex objects.

Any night I end up going out on my own, like last Sat ,my friends went home In ended up having a great night .I have learned that if you are in an establishment and start a conversation with random people and have the craic girls come up to you readily.

magotch07

Master of Nothing wrote: »

There is no such thing as someone being "out of your league" btw;)

Well i know that now cause this chick was phenomanal looking and when she was chatting me up there was essentially a que around the corner to talk to her....some lads couldnt believe i knocked her back 1 lad asked was i gay

OP, not sounding really arrogant or cocky about it, but I've only ever had to approach a woman once, the rest of the time they have come on to me and it is a nice thing to see happening:) The best part is that nobody was a drunken mess at any stage, seems like alot of women out there are finally realising they can be the ones to chat up lads while out and about, and not have to rely on us doing it...because signals usually will not work:p

I'm forever single too, which is strange as I've always noticed women coming on to attached guys...must be the whole "comfortable with who you are" dealio

not really arogant man just saying it like it is fair play to ya

Butch Cassidy wrote: »

You're not alone my friend, you're not alone.

btw, thread should be renamed "Girls coming onto Guys who have a partner"

It's all a bit primal isn't it?

yeah agreed my bad should of been named properly

Wibbs

I reckon women come onto men all the time, it's just that the men notice it when they do it in a more overt "male" way.

Tony Sopranoe

Wibbs wrote: »

I reckon women come onto men all the time, it's just that the men notice it when they do it in a more overt "male" way.

Can you give examples?

ballsymchugh

i was out on saturday night in my usual sober state, and this really cute girl came up to me out of nowhere and asked me how i was. she made the effort to purposefully come over and say hi. i was really taken by surprise and could only mumble and totally ruined the conversation pretty much from the get go. next time i'll be ready in 4 years time:(

Jimmy Iovine

ballsymchugh wrote: »

i was out on saturday night in my usual sober state, and this really cute girl came up to me out of nowhere and asked me how i was. she made the effort to purposefully come over and say hi. i was really taken by surprise and could only mumble and totally ruined the conversation pretty much from the get go. next time i'll be ready in 4 years time:(

Same thing happened to me outside the chipper after a night out in college at the start of this year. This girl who was friends with my housemates came up and asked how I was getting on. I was pretty drunk at the time and kind of knew her but had never spoken to her so I decided to ask who she was and how she knew me. She was incredibly offended by it. Have no idea why I said it and didn't just play along.

I saw her out later that week with my housemate and I started chatting having the crack with him. He introduced us again, I made a ****ty joke and didn't do anything else. Fairly sure she was into me. Took me by surprise really cause she's really good looking.

Probably reading too much into it but she came over to the apartment a few more times over the year and she seemed to be giving me the cold shoulder. On talking terms with her now anyway haha.

Same kind of thing happened a few months later. One of my friends brought these girls into our house after a night pretending there was a party going on. Got talking to this girl for a bit and then after a while they went to leave. She made a deal of saying goodbye to me. I was playing the xbox so there was no way I was going anywhere else.

Saw her a few times more over the next few weeks and eventually picked up the courage to make a move on her on a night out but arsed it up big time. I think I subconsciously tried to do everything I could to **** it up.

Long story short I like it when a girl goes out of her way to make a move on you. I'm terrible at reading signals and as a result a lot of confusion and wasted time can occur. Would be much handier if the girl could be a little bit more explicit in her intentions and maybe make the first move and not rely on me making a drunken joke trying to impress her due to sheer nerves

Galvasean

Elessar wrote: »

It is. I notice it even when flirting with a girl, if you "turn off" (i.e. ignore them, don't make eye contact) it drives them crazy and they want you more.

Mr Cawley wrote: »

boy: not interested...
Girl(why doesn't he like me)

and then: girl 'does her own head in' enough to want any attention from the boy to settle her mind.

factual gents, factual:cool:

Hmmmm........ So essentially I must trick a woman into liking me? :pac:

Tragedy

Just leave your crotch in view so they can watch it.

Otis Driftwood

Tragedy,keep the silly AH type replys in AH please.

Wibbs

Tony Sopranoe wrote: »

Can you give examples?

Men are more obvious in intent generally. They're the ones expected to make the moves, to drive the interaction, or at least appear to be driving it. Women generally go for more subtle clues to help a guy they're interested in move the whole thing along. As a man have you ever just felt in the middle of a convo with a woman "oh she likes me in that way". That's you picking up her signals. There was usually nothing obvious as such. Not like a woman who is approached by a man offered a drink, telling her she's lovely etc(Ok really simplistic stuff, but you get the idea). She tends to know earlier on.

In a room full of people the guys are generally easier to work out who they may be into. The women not so much. Other women can usually spot it though. As a man have you had that situation where another woman has told you "oh you're in there" and you had no clue?

RedRebel

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmmmm........ So essentially I must trick a woman into liking me? :pac:

Is there any other way?

LilMsss

I don't know if a lot of men would really be that comfortable with a girl making the first move. This is coming from male family members and male friends I've discussed this with. The consensus is usually that it is great and they'd love it if and when it happened, but most of them (to put it mildly) would be thinking instant gratification if ya catch my drift rather than considering something long-term developing with a girl who came onto them.

That's not to say that there is anything wrong with making the first move, or giving a man a helping hand. Obviously there's the whole 'He's just not that into you' concept, as pushed by SATC, that suggests as a woman you take your power away when you approach a man, as they are supposed to be the one's making the moves and 'choosing' you!

While I don't subscribe to this way of thinking, I think that often (in my experience anyway), when you make the first move on a man it changes the dynamic of any relationship that might take place (whether casual or more serious). I believe that women have ways of encouraging men to approach them (subtle and not so subtle), through flirting techniques, body language, a glance across the bar etc. so it's not always necessary for them to make the first move.

I have broached this with some of my female friends and all of them have stated categorically that they would never, ever approach a man on a night out as they would worry about coming across as 'desperate'. And aside from that, they seem to like the idea of men approaching them first.

Sultan1

I think its about old rules its up to the man to make the first move ect. which is generally sometimes a very hard thing to do depending on the circumstances, personally i find anywhere that is not an alcaholic enviorment is better but then your lacking de ol dutch courage, its even hard to get a woman to reply to you on a dating site never mind real life

HavingCrack

LilMsss wrote: »

I don't know if a lot of men would really be that comfortable with a girl making the first move. This is coming from male family members and male friends I've discussed this with. The consensus is usually that it is great and they'd love it if and when it happened, but most of them (to put it mildly) would be thinking instant gratification if ya catch my drift rather than considering something long-term developing with a girl who came onto them.

Women can have one night stands too!
Seriously though the idea that a girl always wants a long term relationship and the guy a quick leg over is a bit out dated in my experience anyway-the roles are often reversed these days.

Mr Cawley

Galvasean wrote: »

Hmmmm........ So essentially I must trick a woman into liking me? :pac:

Sir, the beauty is that she'll trick herself.

confuse her and watch her mind do all the work for you.

barry181091

I love the idea of 'girls coming onto guys' simply for the fact that I usually lack the courage to do the opposite I know though some 'macho' friends would be like "Nooooo !" to this ideology.

Galvasean

Sultan1 wrote: »

I think its about old rules its up to the man to make the first move ect.

Indeed. It is the 21st Century. We must cast aside these archaic rules. Ladies, like a guy? Ask him out. Don't wait around and hope he asks you out because you sent him 'signals'.

Scanlas The 2nd

Wibbs wrote: »

I reckon women come onto men all the time, it's just that the men notice it when they do it in a more overt "male" way.

Agreed. I'd say most one night stands that happen are actually initiated by the woman but the man thinks he was the one who chose her when the reality is she chose him. A typical female approach would be accidentally bumping into a guy or brushing past him. She might do something next to a guy that is noticeable and easy to comment on like fumbling with the contents of a handbag.

Will

Yup agree with Wibbs on this, I would imagine women do it in a way more subtle way than we do and just that we are too thick to realise it. Then again I walked into a bar once and this girl came right up to me and asked me to dance with her. I politely declined as I was just out to have a few beers and catch up with mates, she followed me the whole night and more or less weirded me out.

It'd be great if I could pick up on the more subtle hints that women give, but don't think that's gonna happen :pac:

greengiant09

it happens to me the odd time....i find some women can be just as 'clumsy' as men in their approach to flirting. the best example or the most hillariourest approach is when a girl basically backs up into you. they basically slowly reverse their back into you until their rubbing off you. it's really funny when it happens....usually they have a friend nearby subtly prompting them on.

ballsymchugh

greengiant09 wrote: »

it happens to me the odd time....i find some women can be just as 'clumsy' as men in their approach to flirting. the best example or the most hillariourest approach is when a girl basically backs up into you. they basically slowly reverse their back into you until their rubbing off you. it's really funny when it happens....usually they have a friend nearby subtly prompting them on.

not sooo funny when they do it wearing heels. someone did that to me a couple of weeks ago. the heel landed right on my big toe. anyway she had a boyfriend. :mad:

Galvasean

greengiant09 wrote: »

it happens to me the odd time....i find some women can be just as 'clumsy' as men in their approach to flirting. the best example or the most hillariourest approach is when a girl basically backs up into you. they basically slowly reverse their back into you until their rubbing off you. it's really funny when it happens....usually they have a friend nearby subtly prompting them on.

Oh is that what they're doing?

Raedwald

This has happened to me a few times. Im not very good good at noticing this sort of thing but normally it has been chatting to some girl at the bar while on a college night and just having some craic and eventually heading off to a club or something together.

The last girl who did this spent the whole night dismissing the notion that she was coming on to me, she just found me interesting. Ended up being a very good month or so of seeing her.:cool:

stupidusername

I'm female, hope you don't mind the intrusion, but I find some of the threads in here interesting to read. From my perspective the main reason I wouldn't approach a guy is fear of rejection, but in fairness another reason is that it isn't the way I'd like things to continue with a relationship (if that's where things went).

I mean I like to be in control in a lot of ways, but I also very much need a partner to be confident and able to take control of things. I don't want him to be too shy and all that. For me it's not just about the idea of men ask girls out and that's that (in a way I do agree with this, I want to be wooed!), it is about actually finding someone that is genuinely confident and does what he can to get what he wants, and all that. If ye get what I mean.

trebor28

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm female, hope you don't mind the intrusion, but I find some of the threads in here interesting to read. From my perspective the main reason I wouldn't approach a guy is fear of rejection, but in fairness another reason is that it isn't the way I'd like things to continue with a relationship (if that's where things went).

I mean I like to be in control in a lot of ways, but I also very much need a partner to be confident and able to take control of things. I don't want him to be too shy and all that. For me it's not just about the idea of men ask girls out and that's that (in a way I do agree with this, I want to be wooed!), it is about actually finding someone that is genuinely confident and does what he can to get what he wants, and all that. If ye get what I mean.

how far is too far? sounds dodgey to me.

stupidusername

trebor28 wrote: »

how far is too far? sounds dodgey to me.

What sounds dodgy? What I'm saying is I'd like a guy to approach me because to be in a relationship where your partner needs to be pushed to do everything, and doesn't have any confidence in himself, or your relationship is hard work, and is something I'm not interested in. So at the beginning things like this kinda give an indication as to the personality of that person, and maybe how things are likely to go.

I know this isn't coming across right, but I can't seem to word it properly. And I'm aware I'm saying I am lacking confidence in ways, and maybe it'll be taken as hypocritical but what I'm saying is I'm looking for these things in a guy and so that's what's important to me. If he's not approaching me because he has the same reasons (guaging my personality) then obviously that's fine, and it's his choice. AND we'll never even meet then!