girls coming onto guys

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

Dam it! AHHHHHH!

Meet up is kinda back on for some people. there was one guy i was hoping would come along (after seeing his picture), but now he's said he's not going to. he's probably scared of me. but i wrote back to him and said im disappointed as I though he looked quite nice in his photo. feck. i'm really disappointed now! i've tried anyway! doubt me telling him that will change his mind though....

You misunderstand the first law of zen.

What ?? are you comtemplating cheating on me !!!!!!:eek:

stupidusername

BumbleB wrote: »

You misunderstand the first law of zen.

and what is that oh Master BumbleB?

He's asked me for my picture, still hasn't changed his mind though....

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

and what is that oh Master BumbleB?

It is impossible to explain the unexplainable.

DA365

It's brilliant to see an uplifting mail like this great post, its not surprising youre getting the results you want.

I wouldn't say I'm getting the results I want, it's just made me realise how easy it is to talk to women. I've done this single/dating/clubbing/pubbing thing for long enough. I want a relationship but am not prepared to settle for some of the girls I've been with lately. That sounds incredibly arrogant but I don't mean it to be. It's easy to get carried away with good looking girls when you're out but when you wake up in the morning and it's like having a conversation with a tree - it's frustrating. The unfortunate flipside of that being me getting to know an awesome girl, things go well and she freaks out when she finds out that I have 2 kids back in the UK. Maybe I should go to single mums bars

if you continue doing the same things you tend to get the same results and there's a lot of truth to that.

That is absolutely perfect, I love that. Sums it up perfectly.

My understanding of approaching women is that you dont get attached to the result ,just have a good conversation and laughs and be in the moment.

You seem to be reading my mind here mate, freaky. That sums me up perfectly. Not attached to the result because there is no expectation but fun! What's the worst that can happen? Some girl being mean and nasty to you? I wouldnt want to be friends (or more) with someone like that anyway!

stupidusername

Ok what could a stranger (girl) say to you that'd make you change your mind about going out. im trying my best! he's flattered by my determination apparently!

BumbleB, I wouldn't cheat on you, you're two weeks away! it's not cheating if it's not on the same day!

stupidusername

It's just occurred to me, I invest way too much in these things. I was getting excited about going out because I thought he'd be there. feck it anyway. It's not that I now don't want to go out, i do, I just thought ... well I don't know what I thought. well he's not goin to change his mind anyway, and i'm goin to get more and more disappointed.

Hope he doesn't read my posts here and think I'm a freak all together!

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

Ok what could a stranger (girl) say to you that'd make you change your mind about going out. im trying my best! he's flattered by my determination apparently!

Or taking the piss.:( .That what you follow retreats from you ..:(

BumbleB, I wouldn't cheat on you, you're two weeks away! it's not cheating if it's not on the same day!

It's ok I'm meeting a French girl, its not cheating if shes across the sea. I was most impressed by her zombie pics on facebook. Why on earth did you think I was speaking french for ???.

DA365 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I'm getting the results I want

If youre attracting women youre in a good place no matter what you think, because plenty of guys havent even figured that step.

That is absolutely perfect, I love that. Sums it up perfectly.

And to add to that problems cannot be solved by the same way of thinking that created them in the first place.

You seem to be reading my mind here mate, freaky. That sums me up perfectly. Not attached to the result because there is no expectation but fun! What's the worst that can happen? Some girl being mean and nasty to you? I wouldnt want to be friends (or more) with someone like that ,anyway!

I'm not from ireland originally ,I'm from the states and the fact that I'm not from here and youre not from here give us the advantage of seeing things from a different perspective to Irish people.

Non attachment is a buddhist principle ,the buddhists say that all pain is caused by attachment to various things ,like money ,power etc.

In our example it means going out and having a fun time observing and if its going well closing. I find that the knock on effect dividends of being polite and friendly to one girl pays great dividends in the long run.For example if you meet a girl who is in a relationship and is not available settng you up with her friends ,its relatively easy to establish rapport at that stage because all the work is done .Her friend has already told her what a great guy you are so its all pretty well sorted.

Its nice to be nice.

stupidusername wrote: »

It's just occurred to me, I invest way too much in these things. I was getting excited about going out because I thought he'd be there. feck it anyway.

Youre getting the principle of non attachment.:)

stupidusername

I choose to believe it's not taking the piss

haven't gotten what I wanted. fair disappointed. ah well.

BumbleB

Back on topic ,I have a really cool T shirt.I gave one to my best friend in a size smaller and he reckons 100 women approached him last night ,asking him about it .Deffo wearing it tonight.:D

LegacyUser

Yourself wrote: »

If you're confident fun and love yourself (enough) others will join in, if you're boring and self loathing, people wont want to be around you for very long.

Damn, that's me f**ked Same ole "haven't a notion what to talk to women about", so idea what to talk to them about. It's all nice and well to say "talk about them", but when they start talking to me about what I do for a living (tech monkey: their eyes will glaze over), what I like doing (gaming, the weekly game of footie), I'm pretty much the definition of "boring". As for self loathing, meh, life's a box of chocolates, and I seem to be the one left in the box

the_syco

BumbleB wrote: »

cool T shirt

Pics of t-shirt? :pac:

stupidusername

Ok I officially give up. No more approaching men for me. doesn't work. getting nowhere. can't be bothered.

BumbleB

the_syco wrote: »

Pics of t-shirt? :pac:

You want my babe magnet t shirt ,no way, anyhow youre also only one town away from me on the kildare direction .Its also a bit gay .but it has the desired effect :D:D.

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

Ok I officially give up. No more approaching men for me. doesn't work. getting nowhere. can't be bothered.

The path of enlightenment is strewn with the bodies of the disenchanted.

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

Ok I officially give up. No more approaching men for me. doesn't work. getting nowhere. can't be bothered.

No joy on the meetup last night then? I think a lot of men just dont know how to react when a woman approaches them, its reversing the standard roles and they're out of their comfort zone. I actually prefer it as I hate trying to chat up girls, I can yap away to anyone if I'm introduced to them, but its that intitial "howya" thing I cant do. I always assume I'd be the 10th guy that night to try it on with them and they just wont care. I much prefer meeting people outside of the pub/club environment anyway.

Galvasean

BumbleB wrote: »

The path of enlightenment is strewn with the bodies of the disenchanted.

Ooooohhhhh............ Confucius?

BumbleB

Galvasean wrote: »

Ooooohhhhh............ Confucius?

Er no, i think its me .Just me and my random statements .

irishejit

First of all gr8 thread.......been in work since 7am after 2 weeks off and this has just broken my day in great...only getting to the end now!!!

Being on topic this has happened me a few times, and as all say earlier its the greatest feeling in the world......(well apart from once, but thats a bit of a Fatal Attraction story that can't be told before the watershed....)

I may be generalising but in Fermanagh it still seems to be the old adage of the guiys having to make the first move. i say this cos everytime i've been approached its always been away from home....maybe its the stranger thing...who knows!!!

Finally @ Yourself and stupidusername.....if you can put just 5% of your online flirting into real life i'd wager you'll be beating them off with big f*ck off sticks. try and have the craic you have on boards in your real convo's and that'll break that ice far easier.......from all your posts you have no bother chatting!!!! and if all else fails...just picture them naked!!!

stupidusername

BumbleB wrote: »

Or taking the piss.:( .That what you follow retreats from you ..:(

so you're saying guys don't like to be chased?

krudler wrote: »

No joy on the meetup last night then? I think a lot of men just dont know how to react when a woman approaches them, its reversing the standard roles and they're out of their comfort zone. I actually prefer it as I hate trying to chat up girls, I can yap away to anyone if I'm introduced to them, but its that intitial "howya" thing I cant do. I always assume I'd be the 10th guy that night to try it on with them and they just wont care. I much prefer meeting people outside of the pub/club environment anyway.

Well I'm not just basing it on last night, it's a number of different times now. And I get nowhere.

irishejit wrote: »

Finally @ Yourself and stupidusername.....if you can put just 5% of your online flirting into real life i'd wager you'll be beating them off with big f*ck off sticks. try and have the craic you have on boards in your real convo's and that'll break that ice far easier.......from all your posts you have no bother chatting!!!! and if all else fails...just picture them naked!!!

Nah! I've tried and it hasn't worked. It's much easier to be chatty online, as you've time to think and write then. thinking on the spot isn't my thing. Last night with one of the guys I'd been kinda talking to (i mean telling him he was better looking than his friend) we ended up just agreeing that I thought he was good looking, and he thought I was good looking. that was it. I don't really know what happened.

Of course he could've been lying not wanting to be cruel, or he could've just had nothing to say. or just wasn't interested. but that's where it ended. I'd love to be in the position to be beating them off with big sticks.... well the ones I'm interested in anyway.... as it is I've to beat away the creeps, oldies and psychos..... :rolleyes:

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

Well I'm not just basing it on last night, it's a number of different times now. And I get nowhere.

Maybe it is the thing of guys wanting to do the chasing rather than vice versa? maybe you'll find someone to chase at the LL meetup :pac:

stupidusername

krudler wrote: »

Maybe it is the thing of guys wanting to do the chasing rather than vice versa? maybe you'll find someone to chase at the LL meetup :pac:

You're right, but I've given up. don't have the enthusiasm for it anymore. meh. might have gotten more energy for it by the time it comes around.

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

so you're saying guys don't like to be chased?

No ,what I'm saying its all about push /pull, its about pushing out then retreating. I think you are a little bit too fwd personally.I can give you examples ,but I'm not posting them in public.....:cool:

Well I'm not just basing it on last night, it's a number of different times now. And I get nowhere.

Nah! I've tried and it hasn't worked. It's much easier to be chatty online, as you've time to think and write then. thinking on the spot isn't my thing. Last night with one of the guys I'd been kinda talking to (i mean telling him he was better looking than his friend) we ended up just agreeing that I thought he was good looking, and he thought I was good looking. that was it. I don't really know what happened.

Of course he could've been lying not wanting to be cruel, or he could've just had nothing to say. or just wasn't interested. but that's where it ended. I'd love to be in the position to be beating them off with big sticks.... well the ones I'm interested in anyway.... as it is I've to beat away the creeps, oldies and psychos..... :rolleyes:

Yes ,Thats true, some people that you meet online turn out to be a dissapointment in RL.Personally I dont spend any time thinking about responses ,unless I'm angry ,because when the words are out...............


And BTW telling someone is good looking is a killer because you cant go anywhere from there.Same with telling someone that theyre tall ,its going nowhere.

Sean is the mod in paelentology ,he might do some carbon dating for you.

stupidusername

I think I kinda get what you mean with the push/pull thing. My problem is I don't know how to find a balance on things. big problem for me in general.

ok well if I wanted to continue, after telling a guy I think he's good looking, where do I go? what to say next? or do you mean maybe to just try chatting first... but how can you just start chatting? AHHH!!! I hate all this shíte. it just seems more direct to say to someone I fancy you, than to make conversation with them etc. but then i suppose that's what i also want... i don't know. MEN!

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

I think I kinda get what you mean with the push/pull thing. My problem is I don't know how to find a balance on things. big problem for me in general.

ok well if I wanted to continue, after telling a guy I think he's good looking, where do I go? what to say next? or do you mean maybe to just try chatting first... but how can you just start chatting? AHHH!!! I hate all this shíte. it just seems more direct to say to someone I fancy you, than to make conversation with them etc. but then i suppose that's what i also want... i don't know. MEN!

Dont people they're good looking so early for a start, its too forward and nobody will take it as a serious compliment, I wouldnt. you dont need to batter the fact home you fancy someone, just be fun and make it clear but someone coming straight out saying "yeah I really fancy you and want things to go further" prob wont work as it will make people back off. Theres being direct and then theres just diving in there.

stupidusername

krudler wrote: »

Dont people they're good looking so early for a start, its too forward and nobody will take it as a serious compliment, I wouldnt. you dont need to batter the fact home you fancy someone, just be fun and make it clear but someone coming straight out saying "yeah I really fancy you and want things to go further" prob wont work as it will make people back off. Theres being direct and then theres just diving in there.

Frick. well that's me fecked. I'm obviously clueless about all this stuff. Maybe it'll be safer (and less scary) to go back to being introverted.... sounds good to me.

Galvasean

BumbleB wrote: »

Sean is the mod in paelentology ,he might do some carbon dating for you.

Bwahahahahaha!!!!! I actually laughed out loud at that. If you were a girl you could consider me chatted up. :pac:

To further your point about telling someone they are good looking being a no no, I agree. By all means comment on someone's appearance, "Nice hair/shirt etc" but telling someone they are attractive just scares 'em off.

Galvasean

stupidusername wrote: »

Frick. well that's me fecked. I'm obviously clueless about all this stuff.

Chalk it up to experience / you wont make the same mistake again

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

Frick. well that's me fecked. I'm obviously clueless about all this stuff. Maybe it'll be safer (and less scary) to go back to being introverted.... sounds good to me.

Theres nothing wrong with being direct with people at all, but just not right at the beginning. If some guy walked up to you and said "hi, you're good looking, wanna chat?" you'd prob think he was mental. People like to have their ego massaged of course but theres a line between subtle compliments that occur through natural conversation and just launching in there. I find chatting to people is way easier than doing the chatting them up thing.

stupidusername

I wouldn't think he was mental, I'd think odd approach. see I don't know where the line is between chatting / flirting. I think my main problem is that I don't know how to talk to people. I've problems thinking of things to talk about, and generally how to keep a conversation going.

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

I wouldn't think he was mental, I'd think odd approach. see I don't know where the line is between chatting / flirting. I think my main problem is that I don't know how to talk to people. I've problems thinking of things to talk about, and generally how to keep a conversation going.

Let me tell you a secret ,most women dont really know what to say to a man ,its always the man who initaites ,follows up (and she likes him)closes the conversation.This is a generalisation of course.


You may have to do a bit of research on mens stuff to be able to talk to a guy because grey's anatomy doesn't cut it.

Just to let you know most guys like fast cars top gear,soccer and Lads mags.

I don't like any of those things but I found out a few years ago that in order to integrate and relate to my male peers it meant that I had to brush up on my knowledge of these things.It worked out well for me though I have been caught out faking an interest in soccer.
I do like it but its not my passion in life.

krudler

BumbleB wrote: »

You may have to do abit of research on mens stuff to be able to talk to a guy because grey's anatomy doesn't cut it.

Just to let you know most guys like fast cars top gear,soccer and Lads mags.

What do you do when you meet a guy who doesnt watch soccer at all, hasnt read a lads mag since he was a teenager (its who they're for afterall, adults just watch porn :pac:) and, well ok I watch Top Gear

Dont assume all guys just want to drink beer (whiskey ftw) watch soccer and stare at tits all day, some of us do have more to talk about than that. although if I can find a girl who plays Call of Duty I'll be laughing

BumbleB

krudler wrote: »

What do you do when you meet a guy who doesnt watch soccer at all, hasnt read a lads mag since he was a teenager (its who they're for afterall, adults just watch porn :pac:) and, well ok I watch Top Gear

Dont assume all guys just want to drink beer (whiskey ftw) watch soccer and stare at tits all day,:D

Stop lying !!!,the day you stop looking is the day you start dying

stupidusername

krudler wrote: »

Dont assume all guys just want to drink beer (whiskey ftw) watch soccer and stare at tits all day, some of us do have more to talk about than that. although if I can find a girl who plays Call of Duty I'll be laughing

I don't assume all guys are the same.I know lots of people can have things to talk about. Thing is I don't have any experience with them. only had two boyfriends, and in between and since haven't had many interested, or the chance to get to know many lads.

BumbleB wrote: »

Stop lying !!!,the day you stop looking is the day you start dying

Maybe he's a bum/legs man?

krudler

BumbleB wrote: »

Stop lying !!!,the day you stop looking is the day you start dying

lol,yeah who am I kidding as for the boobs/bums/legs thing, I've no preference really, any combination of nice parts is always good

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't assume all guys are the same.I know lots of people can have things to talk about.

Among my friends no ,because all my friends are musicians and creative people, but in work its pure boring ,soccer, current affairs ,diy ,fast cars ,golf ,well at least ,photography is interesting.

I'm not into any of that stuff.

Maybe he's a bum/legs man?

legs !!!! :D:D.

stupidusername

Legs really? so does that mean you can only appreciate them when they're exposed?

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

Legs really? so does that mean you can only appreciate them when they're exposed?

Not at all, a nice pair of legs looks equally nice in jeans or anything really. Same as boobs, they dont need to be hanging out of a womans top to be noticable

stupidusername

krudler wrote: »

Not at all, a nice pair of legs looks equally nice in jeans or anything really. Same as boobs, they dont need to be hanging out of a womans top to be noticable

hmmm. I am intrigued.

But surely you can't appreciate them as much in jeans or something..?

well i'm lacking in both boobs and legs departments, bum isn't too bad, depends on what I'm wearing though...

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

hmmm. I am intrigued.

But surely you can't appreciate them as much in jeans or something..?

well i'm lacking in both boobs and legs departments, bum isn't too bad, depends on what I'm wearing though...

Depends on the jeans I have a serious thing for girls arses when they're wearing a nice tracksuit, not skanger looking but when I go jogging there are a few women you'd see and..oh my :pac:

stupidusername

krudler wrote: »

Depends on the jeans I have a serious thing for girls arses when they're wearing a nice tracksuit, not skanger looking but when I go jogging there are a few women you'd see and..oh my :pac:

I think i know what you mean. not full of myself of anything but i've a tracksuit pants that my bum looks nice in. mostly jeans though.

krudler

stupidusername wrote: »

I think i know what you mean. not full of myself of anything but i've a tracksuit pants that my bum looks nice in. mostly jeans though.

No need to say you're full of yourself, everyone should like one of their physical attributes

stupidusername

i don't even like it, only in jeans...

Yourself

BumbleB wrote: »

Good deal !, saucy pics for cheeseburger . I likey !.

The only saucy pics you'll be getting are the "Eddie rockets burger just exploded sauce all over Yourself" pics!

Probably I'm so brilliant !!!!;)

agreed

Ladies with an attitude
Fellows that were in the mood
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it

Vogue, vogue

Had me bopping there! :pac:

example :

Hi , this place is so **** ,full of dickheads. Whats that stupid thing around your neck ? ,you look like Deirdre Barlow.I find that kinda sexy . I have severe flatulence .

Oh everyone loves a bitta deeer-dreee

Get me a nice lump of ham ,I want to make a hang sanguine.

Ah hang!

Why on earth did you think I was speaking french for ???.

Ah Je comprends maintenant!

problems cannot be solved by the same way of thinking that created them in the first place.

thats a mind bender and a half!
As Abe said...you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time

I'm not from ireland originally ,I'm from the states and the fact that I'm not from here and youre not from here give us the advantage of seeing things from a different perspective to Irish people.

Pshh foreigners! :P

Non attachment is a buddhist principle ,the buddhists say that all pain is caused by attachment to various things ,like money ,power etc.

They make a good point!

irishejit wrote: »

Finally @ Yourself and stupidusername.....if you can put just 5% of your online flirting into real life i'd wager you'll be beating them off with big f*ck off sticks. try and have the craic you have on boards in your real convo's and that'll break that ice far easier.......from all your posts you have no bother chatting!!!! and if all else fails...just picture them naked!!!

I always picture them naked! hahaha! Its been going well for me this weekend! yay! A guy who took my number a month ago texted me (I didnt respond as of yet because I thought that odd)

In a bar last night and a nice looking chap came over to our table,with his friend, while a few of us were dancing. I went up to him and shook his arm asking him "are you not dancing with me?" I didnt take all things into account at the time and ended up spilling some of his pint on him! :pac: I thought he'd be annoyed and I apologised for it, told him Id buy him another. He just said it was grand, said he might as well dance with me and said "dont worry Im not going to kiss you or anything" (sounded like something he might say if he'd asked me to dance, perhaps him taking over the reigns?!) then when we were dancing he went to kiss me and I said to him "awh you promised!" :P I then allowed him to proceed though! hee hee! Got a few texts from him today! yay!

krudler wrote: »

Maybe it is the thing of guys wanting to do the chasing rather than vice versa? maybe you'll find someone to chase at the LL meetup :pac:

stupidusername wrote: »

I think I kinda get what you mean with the push/pull thing. My problem is I don't know how to find a balance on things. big problem for me in general.

I think if you just do the "opener" and then let them take over from there. Nobody likes a stalker and its not attractive if someone is TOO available.

ok well if I wanted to continue, after telling a guy I think he's good looking, where do I go? what to say next? or do you mean maybe to just try chatting first... but how can you just start chatting? AHHH!!! I hate all this shíte. it just seems more direct to say to someone I fancy you, than to make conversation with them etc. but then i suppose that's what i also want... i don't know. MEN!

Galvasean wrote: »

To further your point about telling someone they are good looking being a no no, I agree. By all means comment on someone's appearance, "Nice hair/shirt etc" but telling someone they are attractive just scares 'em off.

I might slip in the odd "you're hot" if I thought they were complimenting me more than them, just so they know its reciprocated. If someone keeps complimenting you I think it makes you self-conscious and makes it seem as if you're too good for them, like they think you're out of their league and then perhaps you wonder if you are! (not that I believe in leagues)

Galvasean wrote: »

Bwahahahahaha!!!!! I actually laughed out loud at that. If you were a girl you could consider me chatted up. :pac:

hahaha!

stupidusername wrote: »

I've problems thinking of things to talk about, and generally how to keep a conversation going.

I think if you get on well with someone the conversation just tends to flow, you dont really need to study "guy" material before you go out, I think youre in the wrong job Bumble if you really have to do that to interact with work mates. Also the whole guys like mags with legs/tits/bums...thats what were definitely bringing to the table!

Yourself

krudler wrote: »

No need to say you're full of yourself, everyone should like one of their physical attributes

Im full of Yourself! haha Im not sure that will ever get old!


it just did, didnt it?

I have boobs

krudler

Yourself wrote: »

I have boobs

How do you get anything done :pac: seriously it baffles me, if I had a pair I'd never leave the house, women are awesome

stupidusername

You get used to them pretty quickly! Don't even know they're there most of the time.... probably depends on how big a girl is as to how aware of them she is.

BumbleB

all good in the hood :):)

Yourself

krudler wrote: »

How do you get anything done :pac: seriously it baffles me, if I had a pair I'd never leave the house, women are awesome

like in friends when Joey got buried in the sand and woke up as a mermaid

could only find a tiny image but Im sure you remember!

stupidusername wrote: »

You get used to them pretty quickly! Don't even know they're there most of the time.... probably depends on how big a girl is as to how aware of them she is.

yeh sometimes they get in the way when you're brushing past someone and then they think you're coming onto them :pac: haha

BumbleB

Yourself wrote: »

I have boobs

I can see your page views go from 54 views to 54,000 now after that revelation :D:D

Yourself

BumbleB wrote: »

I can see your page views go from 54 views to 54,000 now after that revelation :D:D

were you checking me out Bumble! ha ha Caught!

I kinda gave the game away there! Guys sometimes presume I'm a dude, because of my user name they think of themselves I suppose :rolleyes: