girls coming onto guys

the_syco

stupidusername wrote: »

I went out a few weeks ago on a Saturday night, I didn't really have much to wear, so just had on a black pair of jeans with a black top (although it was cleavagey) and it was quite plain looking. I did feel comfortable but in a mature kinda way.I thought I looked nice, but see then you see the only people getting attention are the girls in dresses and short skirts with their fake tans and blonde hair. And you just feel deflated.

If ye had been in a metal bar, the reception would have been different :cool:

BumbleB wrote: »

you like guitars and suits, well here's mark rOnson



http://www.gigwise.com/photos/51893/3/Jay-Z-And-Eminem-To-Release-Unheard-Songs-On-DJ-Hero-Game

I think he meant to point to this dude:



=-=

As for the 14th, don't think I'll be there. Going to a Dio tribute thing in The Village that kicks off at 20:00 (or maybe 18:00 - unsure )

Yourself

krudler wrote: »

Some people dont like getting their feet touched alright, havent had any complaints about anywhere else though.

OH MY! That does sound promising!

BumbleB wrote: »

How do you know ?,I've got the best hugs in the universe .

I'm sorry but I have to take your first answer...you said Leinster, our survey says...ehh eww! :rolleyes:

I bought a new guitar today !, .Cant really get my head around the guitar thing with women really .I used to have an ex who would come to every one of my practise sessions didn't really understand that.

you like guitars and suits, well here's mark rOnson



http://www.gigwise.com/photos/51893/3/Jay-Z-And-Eminem-To-Release-Unheard-Songs-On-DJ-Hero-Game


[

I think its just awesome and maybe subconsciously its about a man using both hands and making the silence explode!



dave randall's more my cuppa tea! mmm tea! couldnt take my eyes off him at Oxegen, could also be partially to do with the intense concentration and the picturing you them naked

you used to have an ex? also was she there to watch you? couldn't watch you at home?

also also also I think the guitar height, strumming at groin level may also come into play...look at me...imagining!

Yourself

the_syco wrote: »

If ye had been in
As for the 14th, don't think I'll be there. Going to a Dio tribute thing in The Village that kicks off at 20:00 (or maybe 18:00 - unsure )

Thats not far from capital, you could sooooooooooooo do both! :eek:

krudler

Yourself wrote: »

OH MY! That does sound promising!

Hey I'm a consumate professional

Yourself

krudler wrote: »

Hey I'm a consumate professional

Prroooove it! *come hither look*

entropi

stupidusername wrote: »

I know it is. it's a hard one to get over though, especially when I keep getting rejected...

that's something i have to work out how to do.not quite sure.

Don't try to work it out too much, let it happen naturally. Too much thinking about it can hamper progress...

krudler wrote: »

hugs for everyone, and if anyone needs a neckrub I shall be on hand

edit: just to clarify, I'm a trained massage therapist, I'm not just looking to feel people up :P

I have to tell people that too lol, they get all weird because I'm so used to being hands-on like you:p

Actually that's a great trick to have in your sleeve there, I've been told that many times;)

Yourself wrote: »

You should dress well and look after your appearance for yourself. If you look good you feel good and have confidence. That's what people notice, your aura and essence. If you're wearing clothes you dont like and looking like you just rolled out of bed, you wont feel as well and confident.

My son once asked me "are you on the way up or on the way down?"

He didn't mean anything deep by it (unless he's the next Dr Phil) but a light bulb went on in my head.

Life is like a roller-coaster, ups and downs, booms and recessions, every set of boobs have a valley, so decide which track you're on! Surround yourself with happy relatively positive people and most importantly dont let the man get you down!

Exactly! by feeling good on the inside, you generate a glow that lets people know you are secure and happy...generates a feel-good aura that makes people want to be around you:)

Maybe he could be the next Dr. Phil....with less of the Texas talk:pac:

stupidusername wrote: »

I'll have some neck rubs please!

Neck rubs from trained therapists are really nice:)

I'll look forward to all the hugs now! yay!

I'll have one on standby if ya need it, I give awesome hugs:)

I went out a few weeks ago on a Saturday night, I didn't really have much to wear, so just had on a black pair of jeans with a black top (although it was cleavagey) and it was quite plain looking. I did feel comfortable but in a mature kinda way.I thought I looked nice, but see then you see the only people getting attention are the girls in dresses and short skirts with their fake tans and blonde hair. And you just feel deflated.

I might actually end up wearing the same thing to the LL meet up so I probably shouldn't be telling you this...

If it makes you feel good, and brings out your inner glow then use that outfit! People always feel better in clothes that make them comfortable:D

krudler wrote: »

Lynx? ewwwwwwww! Lynx is what teenagers that dont know any better wear. Jean Paul Gaultier ftw

+infinity! Lynx is pure filth:(

Something nice smelling definitely haha!

Otis Driftwood

Ok folks,this thread has been going for at least 5 or 6 with maybe 1 addition to the original question posed ie girls coming onto guys.Im not being a killjoy but there is an off topic chat thread for those that want to chat,there is also the PM function.Thankees.

the_syco

Yourself wrote: »

Thats not far from capital, you could sooooooooooooo do both! :eek:

Maybe. I'm taking it that "The Capitol" is listed as "A" on this map?

Anyhoo's, back on topic, ish.

Master of Nothing wrote: »

+infinity! Lynx is pure filth:(

Something nice smelling definitely haha!

I just randomly pick a nice looking Lynx can that I haven't tried yet: I put little of no thought into the process. May look into getting "Old Spice", for no other reason than the adverts are funny, unless there is something else that smells manly? Or how much do women go by smell?

entropi

I was actually wondering when you would put that mod note in there ned...I guess though that this thread goes to show that behind a computer screen, women are more than capable of flirting with guys. The real test in itself would be to apply those chatty skills to real life and proceed from there.


the_syco: I'll respond to that with a vm, trying to keep thread on track here

Pembily

So guys like it when girls not so subtly come on to them???? Is arm touching too subtle???

I am not afraid to chat to a guy but the rejection is always a killer, but I am now living by the nothing ventured nothing gained!!!!

Just never know what is too subtle!!!!!

Rezident

No not in Ireland but it happened a bit in Brazil and Belgium (Dutch girl) and recently in Israel - Tel Aviv rules! Irish women don't seem to do it as much unless they're roaring drunk and hop on me - which is ok, but very rare.

BumbleB

Pembily wrote: »

So guys like it when girls not so subtly come on to them???? Is arm touching too subtle???

I am not afraid to chat to a guy but the rejection is always a killer, but I am now living by the nothing ventured nothing gained!!!!

Just never know what is too subtle!!!!!

Dont worry about subtleness ,do what works for you. Some people will get away with outrageous gestures ,others wont . Expirement and have fun while doing it !

Pembily

BumbleB wrote: »

Dont worry about subtleness ,do what works for you. Some people will get away with outrageous gestures ,others wont . Expirement and have fun while doing it !

Oh I always have fun flirting, I just find some guys don't pick up on the signals... Or don't want to :rolleyes:

entropi

Pembily wrote: »

Oh I always have fun flirting, I just find some guys don't pick up on the signals... Or don't want to :rolleyes:

Most guys just dont pick up on them:pac:

The guys that dont care would probably be out to have a good night without pulling, in very committed relationships or gay, choose one, or all hehe!

Maguined

Whoever came up with the "Signals" idea needs to be shot, eye contact, smiles, hair flicking, arm touching, laughing at jokes are all normal things normal people who are not remotely interested in you will also do, if a guy went around acting on anyone who gave him a "signal" he would look a fool making advances and being rejected by practically any girl in the room and then if he uses common sense and ignores most signals there will be some girl interested in him that he passes by chalking it down to normal behavior rather than intentional signalling.

Fortune favors the brave ladies, if you see a guy you like don't leave it to chance and then pine missed chances, go up and initiate with the guy, if he is not interested who cares, rejection is only as bad as you build up in your own mind.

Pembily

Maguined wrote: »

Whoever came up with the "Signals" idea needs to be shot, eye contact, smiles, hair flicking, arm touching, laughing at jokes are all normal things normal people who are not remotely interested in you will also do, if a guy went around acting on anyone who gave him a "signal" he would look a fool making advances and being rejected by practically any girl in the room and then if he uses common sense and ignores most signals there will be some girl interested in him that he passes by chalking it down to normal behavior rather than intentional signalling.

Exactly!!! As I read that I was playing with my hair, I do it all the time, even in my sleep and yet I have been told by girls that I was flirting while talking to a guy cos I was playing with my hair and I don't even notice... Fecking signals!!!

Maguined wrote: »

Fortune favors the brave ladies, if you see a guy you like don't leave it to chance and then pine missed chances, go up and initiate with the guy, if he is not interested who cares, rejection is only as bad as you build up in your own mind.

Very very true

Yourself

Flirting is cool but dont tease! hahaha Katt Williams puts it well here

Snowie

Pembily wrote: »

So guys like it when girls not so subtly come on to them???? Is arm touching too subtle???

where the hell is the excitement in that? I like women who are enticing and seductive, keep the game on that doesnt mean im gonna run round them like a lap dog but it does mean Im gonna make an effort in more ways then one....

Maguined

Enticing and seductive can be achieved without resorting to inanely subtle hints. You can be forward and clear of your intentions without spoiling any excitement or interest (at least for me anyway), I would have no problem if a girl came up to me in a pub and forwardly told me she thought I was cute and asked if she could talk to me. She has made her intentions very clear but it is the actual proper talking with a back and forth exchange that you build your opinion on someone and that is the exciting part and I would much rather that then some subtle "signal" playing where a woman might stand beside me and twirl her hair while looking forlorn in a hope for me to start some conversation.

If fact the confidence of a woman initiating a conversation with me would be extremely exciting and attractive.

Snowie

Maguined wrote: »

Enticing and seductive can be achieved without resorting to inanely subtle hints. You can be forward and clear of your intentions without spoiling any excitement or interest (at least for me anyway), I would have no problem if a girl came up to me in a pub and forwardly told me she thought I was cute and asked if she could talk to me. She has made her intentions very clear but it is the actual proper talking with a back and forth exchange that you build your opinion on someone and that is the exciting part and I would much rather that then some subtle "signal" playing where a woman might stand beside me and twirl her hair while looking forlorn in a hope for me to start some conversation.

If fact the confidence of a woman initiating a conversation with me would be extremely exciting and attractive.

what ever man i didnt really give much of an explanation but if that what comes to your mind then bravo

Maguined

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

what ever man i didnt really give much of an explanation but if that what comes to your mind then bravo

I was not having a go at you, Pembily asked if guys like it when a girl is more forward than a subtle arm touching signal. You offered your point of view that more forward action would ruin the excitement for you, I simply offered my own point of view that subtle signals do nothing for me and I would very much appreciate a woman being more forward towards me.

Again not a dig at you, just offering Pembily my own point of view in response to her question.

Galvasean

A friend of mine was accused of 'flirting with every guy in the room' at a party recently. The reason? She kept touching her hair.
Why she was actually touching her hair: Because it was hot as an oven in the room we were in and in her words, "My hair is too thick, it's like wearing a bloody scarf on the back of my neck!".

That's why I don't place much trust in the usual 'flirting signals' talk. I blame the Streets personally.

Yourself

Galvasean wrote: »

A friend of mine was accused of 'flirting with every guy in the room' at a party recently. The reason? She kept touching her hair.
Why she was actually touching her hair: Because it was hot as an oven in the room we were in and in her words, "My hair is too thick, it's like wearing a bloody scarf on the back of my neck!".

That's why I don't place much trust in the usual 'flirting signals' talk. I blame the Streets personally.

who accused her of that? they should get a life. If you're talking to someone and the conversation is interesting and you're getting on well, that's it! Whoever was watching her was probably jealous of her confidence or just a jerk. F**k the begrudgers!

Galvasean

Struck me of jealousy too. She's a confident lass and a bit of a tom boy (but still very good looking dont get me wrong). Plus, she had been out of town for literally months, so it's only natural that she'd be talking to a lot of the lads.

DA365

Come on Ned, this is like the best thread ever!!

BumbleB

DA365 wrote: »

Come on Ned, this is like the best thread ever!!

Ned ruined the buzz , thread pooper .

Otis Driftwood

Here is the off topic chat thread.

The charter was amended a few weeks ago in relation to threads being dragged off topic,this thread has turned into a chat/flirt thread between 5 or 6 users,why should this thread be treated any differently than any other thread?If one thread is allowed to continue unabated then it sets a precedent thats hard to reverse.

Also,arguing with moderator decsisions/directions is against every charter on boards.

Unless my fellow mods feel Im being overly harsh this is the last time this shall be addressed.

DA365

I was just playing mate, I wasn't trying to argue. Apologies if I came across that way.

the_syco

Pembily wrote: »

So guys like it when girls not so subtly come on to them???? Is arm touching too subtle???

In a packed nightclub? Try tugging his arm.

No, I said his arm :P

Actually, ensure he's not holding drink, or you'll have forever ruined your chances.

Maguined

I dunno about that, if she happened to make him spill his drink over himself she could always offer to rub the area dry and buy him a replacement drink, cant see the average guy refusing that offer.

Pembily

Maguined wrote: »

I dunno about that, if she happened to make him spill his drink over himself she could always offer to rub the area dry and buy him a replacement drink, cant see the average guy refusing that offer.

That would defo not be subtle I am off to Dublin next weekend so I will see how I get on... I won't be spilling drinks on guys intentionally though as there has to be a cheaper way to flirt!!!!

I just always thought that some guys found girls making the first move intimidating...

Galvasean

Maguined wrote: »

I dunno about that, if she happened to make him spill his drink over himself she could always offer to rub the area dry and buy him a replacement drink, cant see the average guy refusing that offer.

They say it's a sign that someone likes youif they spill their drink on you...

Ladies, please don't do this. It is a waste of drink and ruins perfectly good clothes.

stupidusername

I definitely wouldn't be going spilling my drink intentionally on anyone! In my experience now I'd say that guys don't really know what to do with a girl coming onto them. or then, in fairness, they could've just thought I was horrendous looking... Think I'll stick to coming on to the guys that I know. Pembily do you have any success stories to share?

Wolflikeme

stupidusername wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't be going spilling my drink intentionally on anyone! In my experience now I'd say that guys don't really know what to do with a girl coming onto them. or then, in fairness, they could've just thought I was horrendous looking... Think I'll stick to coming on to the guys that I know. Pembily do you have any success stories to share?

In fairness, some girls, like guys, are just crap at coming onto people (I'm not saying you).

I love it when girls come onto me (the rare times it's happened), it's great fun and the pressure's off.

And yeah, it's much easier when you get to know the person and then come onto them...harder though, depending.

djimi

Pembily wrote: »

That would defo not be subtle I am off to Dublin next weekend so I will see how I get on... I won't be spilling drinks on guys intentionally though as there has to be a cheaper way to flirt!!!!

I just always thought that some guys found girls making the first move intimidating...

It depends on what the first move is. Ive seen a lot of girls, especially when they have quite a bit of drink in them, come across way too strong, almost to the point of irritatingly forceful. Not attractive! Same could be said of guys too I suppose...

Generally speaking I have no problem with girls coming onto guys, so long as they are reasonable subtle about it. At least it shows theyre not stuck up, which a lot of the overly "play hard to get" girls can come across as...

Pembily

djimi wrote: »

Ive seen a lot of girls, especially when they have quite a bit of drink in them, come across way too strong, almost to the point of irritatingly forceful. Not attractive! Same could be said of guys too I suppose...

Therein lies the problem - what is too much?? What is too much to you is possibly not enough to another guy!!!

Success story - was chatting to a guy and just asked can I kiss him and I was with him for 4 years... Bull by the horns and all that!!! I tend to be a bit blunt and not a fan of game playing!!!

krudler

Maguined wrote: »

I dunno about that, if she happened to make him spill his drink over himself she could always offer to rub the area dry and buy him a replacement drink, cant see the average guy refusing that offer.

If a girl intentionally spilled a drink on me to get my attention she wouldnt be getting much of it. Thats akin to a guy pulling up a girls dress or tugging her hair. we're not 6 year olds.

djimi

Too much to me is too touchy-feely, too forceful, sitting on my lap, pulling out of my arm, that kind of thing. Generally being very clingy. Usually coupled with some annoying drunken behaviour. I dont think many guys would find that kind of thing attractive tbh!

Maguined

krudler wrote: »

If a girl intentionally spilled a drink on me to get my attention she wouldnt be getting much of it. Thats akin to a guy pulling up a girls dress or tugging her hair. we're not 6 year olds.

I agree if she intentionally did it but I was assuming in the theoretical scenario it was an accident as it was suggested girls should tug on a guys arm to get his attention, if someone accidentally made me spill my drink I would not be annoyed, if i felt their apology as genuine I wouldn't hold it against them the rest of the night.

I for one would definitely not be intimidated by a girl making the first move. Confidence is attractive to me, it is not a required attribute to be attractive but it is attractive in itself.

Wolflikeme

Maguined wrote: »

I for one would definitely not be intimidated by a girl making the first move. Confidence is attractive to me, it is not a required attribute to be attractive but it is attractive in itself.

This whole thing about guys being intimidated by girls approaching them is complete bollocks* I think. It's either A.) a woman's excuse not approach a guy for whatever reason or B.) to feel empowered in a powerless situation (whereby she'll convince herself she has to wait for the guy to make the first move).



*Obviously, there are exceptions. I'm speaking generally.

ordinary_girl

Say a girl initiated conversation with a guy, and just so happened to obviously put a piece of paper with her phone number on it in his hand would this seem a tad bit desperate/too straight forward?

Wolflikeme

Rest_Energy wrote: »

Say a girl initiated conversation with a guy, and just so happened to obviously put a piece of paper with her phone number on it in his hand would this seem a tad bit desperate/too straight forward?

What if a guy did that? He risks being labeled a freak or something maybe.

If a girl did that to me, I don't know, it's hardly making a huge effort is it? I mean girls always look for guys to make an effort. Works both ways.

So, it wouldn't really wash with me.

Actually, I think both parties might appear desperate - the girl for doing it and the guy for accepting. That's just me...and there's nothing wrong if people just really want to meet someone but, being desperate isn't attractive, obviously.

Pembily

Rest_Energy wrote: »

Say a girl initiated conversation with a guy, and just so happened to obviously put a piece of paper with her phone number on it in his hand would this seem a tad bit desperate/too straight forward?

If a guy did it to me I would think it was desperate...

ordinary_girl

Wolflikeme wrote: »

Actually, I think both parties might appear desperate - the girl for doing it and the guy for accepting. That's just me...and there's nothing wrong if people just really want to meet someone but, being desperate isn't attractive, obviously.

See, this is what I thought but I wasn't sure. Argh, I wish there was some clear set of rules for these kinda things!

Maguined

I would not necessarily assume they were desperate but I would have no desire to call them as you want a bit of a conversation with someone first to get at least a general idea, granted if she was just about to leave the pub/club and walked up to me and basically said she had to leave now but she thought i was good looking so wanted to give me her number then yeah i would call her up as it is worth a call and a meetup to see what happens but if a girl just gave me her number and spent the rest of the night talking to her mates i would figure if i am not worth a few minutes of her time for some conversation then she is not worth my time to make a call.

krudler

Pembily wrote: »

If a guy did it to me I would think it was desperate...

Ah if it was done in a cheeky enough way it may work on some people (unless she had a stack of preprinted business cards or something ), theres a fine line between being forward and cheeky and then being desperate and clingy though

DA365

It really depends how.

If it's done in a way that comes across interesting then I'd be fine with that. As long as she was being a little cheeky funny about it or flirty or puppy eyes - something that showed me that there was a personality there behind this random thing then yeah, I think that would be a pretty good way to break the ice.

If it was done in a way where she just handed me it and walked away without ANY interaction whether it be verbally or via body language, then I'd probably just give her it back.

I don't think it's bad thing but it's all about the way it;s communicated.

neveah

I actually had a guy drop his business card into my bag in a nightclub, he didn't even speak to me!!

As for girls coming onto guys, I would be quite a chatty, flirty, smiley person and at times my ex used to accuse me of leading guys on when really I thought I was just chatting and having a laugh. Do guys automatically think that if a girl they know is chatting to them, hugs them in a greeting, touches their arm for whatever reason or dances with them that that means they fancy you? It seems sometimes that guys pick up in the smallest thing and think you fancy them when it could all be very innocent. Should girls be more aware of their behaviour if they don't fancy the guy in question?

I think the best thing is to get talking to the person. I don't think I would approach a guy with a smart comment or spill a drink on him to grab his attention:eek: To be honest though, while I am very sociable, I would be very intimidated and nervous if I had to approach someone I fancied. I have to admit I've never had the balls to do it so fair play to all the girls giving it a go!

DA365

neveah wrote: »

Do guys automatically think that if a girl they know is chatting to them, hugs them in a greeting, touches their arm for whatever reason or dances with them that that means they fancy you?

Maybe not "fancy" but in these situations there's definitely interest coming from the girl.

If I had just met a girl and she was cool, funny and I liked her - and she started randomly touching my arm and took me to the dancefloor and started hugging me... then I'm definitely going to be interested and go with it, absolutely.

krudler

Do guys automatically think that if a girl they know is chatting to them, hugs them in a greeting, touches their arm for whatever reason or dances with them that that means they fancy you? It seems sometimes that guys pick up in the smallest thing and think you fancy them when it could all be very innocent. Should girls be more aware of their behaviour if they don't fancy the guy in question?

Yes, us men are poor, simple creatures.

...well not really. I get what you mean though, I know women who "flirt" whether they say they're not or every guys thinks they are is another story, but hugs, touching, laughing, being very touchy feely, but then its "just being friendly", but sending out tons of mixed signals as well, its all very confusing...