girls coming onto guys

DA365

krudler wrote: »

Yes, us men are poor, simple creatures.

...well not really.

I'd say we absolutely are.

Maguined

neveah wrote: »

Do guys automatically think that if a girl they know is chatting to them, hugs them in a greeting, touches their arm for whatever reason or dances with them that that means they fancy you? It seems sometimes that guys pick up in the smallest thing and think you fancy them when it could all be very innocent. Should girls be more aware of their behaviour if they don't fancy the guy in question?

This comes back to the "signals" bull****, as the majority of women do not directly make advances on men they like and resort to these "signal" gestures which are the same things that non-interested people will also throw your way it really is a guessing game for guys as to whether a girl is showing interest in him or not.

When a guy is told that women won't make the first move you have to do that, interested women will touch your arm, play with her hair etc then it can be confusing when their girlfriend starts doing these things to other men as that is apparently what these signals mean, interest in the guy even those these are just normal gestures people use all the time so it really is a big mess of jumbled communication.

stupidusername

The playing with her hair and general grooming things aren't actually about flirting. A girl will do this when she's around someone she thinks is good looking. So she might think a lad is good looking, but not fancy him, or want anything from him.She might think a girl is good looking and do it then, this is because she becomes aware of her own appearance.

It's a natural thing to want to look your best when there's a potential 'mate' around and when you've a reason to feel threatened. I mean this in an animal kind of way though, so don't read too much into it in terms of the men / women she's around.

Galvasean

As I've said before in this thread I dont place much stock in these physical jestures. Everybody does them all the time. People only notice them when they think there is/should be flirting going on.

Slightly related: Was out the other day and was chatting with this very attractive older woman. She told me my hair was really nice and even went so far as to give my backside a playful smack. Flirting? Nope, her husband thought it was hilarious

stupidusername

Galvasean wrote: »

Slightly related: Was out the other day and was chatting with this very attractive older woman. She told me my hair was really nice and even went so far as to give my backside a playful smack. Flirting? Nope, her husband thought it was hilarious

Wow, i would have been almost certain you were in there, but I suppose it depends on the situation...

Tallaght Saint

Very obvious for me the other night, was going to get a drink and this cracking looking girl drags me to the dancefloor. Got quite "close" during the dance and she was straight in with a kiss.

Enjoyed it, but was craving a bulmers the whole time :P

Maguined

Bravo to her for having the confidence to just approach you like that without any crappy signals and just go for it.

Yourself

Tallaght Saint wrote: »

Very obvious for me the other night, was going to get a drink and this cracking looking girl drags me to the dancefloor. Got quite "close" during the dance and she was straight in with a kiss.

Enjoyed it, but was craving a bulmers the whole time :P

Ha ha! I feel your pain although its a bit worse when you get dragged off while heading towards the lavatory!

Yourself

Yourself wrote: »

In a bar last night and a nice looking chap came over to our table,with his friend, while a few of us were dancing. I went up to him and shook his arm asking him "are you not dancing with me?" I didnt take all things into account at the time and ended up spilling some of his pint on him! :pac: I thought he'd be annoyed and I apologised for it, told him Id buy him another. He just said it was grand, said he might as well dance with me and said "dont worry Im not going to kiss you or anything" (sounded like something he might say if he'd asked me to dance, perhaps him taking over the reigns?!) then when we were dancing he went to kiss me and I said to him "awh you promised!" :P I then allowed him to proceed though! hee hee! Got a few texts from him today! yay!


I think if you just do the "opener" and then let them take over from there. Nobody likes a stalker and its not attractive if someone is TOO available.

krudler wrote: »

If a girl intentionally spilled a drink on me to get my attention she wouldnt be getting much of it. Thats akin to a guy pulling up a girls dress or tugging her hair. we're not 6 year olds.

As I said previously, I think you shouldn't beat yourself up if its done unintentionally (I know you said intentionally) and handled well, mixed with mutual attraction a lot of things can work. I could have easily just crawled into a hole but it turned out grand!

magotch07

well holy god hasnt this thread taken on a life of its own....i started it just to really brag about a hot girl who came onto me in Galway

Wolflikeme

magotch07 wrote: »

well holy god hasnt this thread taken on a life of its own....i started it just to really brag about a hot girl who came onto me in Galway

Maybe you can brag when it happens more than once.

magotch07

Wolflikeme wrote: »

Maybe you can brag when it happens more than once.

ok you lot will be the first to know

Tallaght Saint

Maguined wrote: »

Bravo to her for having the confidence to just approach you like that without any crappy signals and just go for it.

Yep I certainly wasn't complaining

krudler

Yourself wrote: »

As I said previously, I think you shouldn't beat yourself up if its done unintentionally (I know you said intentionally) and handled well, mixed with mutual attraction a lot of things can work. I could have easily just crawled into a hole but it turned out grand!

Ah if it was an accident thats grand, but people doing silly things to get your attention like that on purpose is a bit childish. A girl threw a chip at me once in a fast food place after a club to "get my attention", i was more than a little miffed that the chip was covered in sauce, and I was wearing a new shirt, ha I dont think that was part of her plan. i laughed about it afterwards but still, just walking up to someone and saying hi will probably have a lot higher success ratio than battering them with ketchup laden fries

Yourself

"If you're a man and you want to find out which women like you, wear a neatly pressed suit and tie, but wear the tie slightly off to one side and put a little lint on one shoulder. Any women who find you attractive can't resist brushing the lint off and straightening your tie so that you look just right.



Wearing the tie slightly off-centre gives interested women the opportunity to straighten it"

REF: http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap15.html


came across this site and thought this point was particularly true, many a time I've clean the lint off a shoulder, straightened a tie and fixed a collar of a man I've found attractive! Just instinct really...and wanting to touch them, have them look their best.

uh oh...you'll all end up looking dishevelled at the next beers! what have I done! :eek:

Pembily

Yourself wrote: »

"If you're a man and you want to find out which women like you, wear a neatly pressed suit and tie, but wear the tie slightly off to one side and put a little lint on one shoulder. Any women who find you attractive can't resist brushing the lint off and straightening your tie so that you look just right.



Wearing the tie slightly off-centre gives interested women the opportunity to straighten it"

REF: http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap15.html


came across this site and thought this point was particularly true, many a time I've clean the lint off a shoulder, straightened a tie and fixed a collar of a man I've found attractive! Just instinct really...and wanting to touch them, have them look their best.

uh oh...you'll all end up looking dishevelled at the next beers! what have I done! :eek:

That is priceless and so true, I would be itching to take the lint off and straighten the tie

stupidusername

Yourself wrote: »

uh oh...you'll all end up looking dishevelled at the next beers! what have I done! :eek:

:eek: please guys only do this when in a full suit......

mmmm....suits.... *drool*

krudler

*scribbles*

wonky tie, linty jacket= jackpot

BumbleB

stupidusername wrote: »

:eek: please guys only do this when in a full suit......

mmmm....suits.... *drool*

Birthday suit .

krudler

BumbleB wrote: »

Birthday suit .

Naked beers, awwww yeahhhh

stupidusername

Now ye have it..... all the lads there getting naked.... nice. While the girls are fully clothed. Sounds like fun

Snowie

DA365 wrote: »

I'd say we absolutely are.

that above picture grindes my gears even if its ment in humour...

Women and men genrally miss understand each other we used complicated forms of communication instead of talking on the phone yada yada yada... they want different things they think differently and at time act similierly


We have one switch that's a piss take of men Not women it makes us look dumber then a breaze block granted some men are for men to think that pictures funny god damm it man what the **** are you saying about your self your some kinda Idiot that women can just flutter there eye balls and all of a sudden you turn into some magical lap dog meeting all womens needs?


that picture is so untrue



and at other times some times its far toooooooooooo true :pac:

BumbleB

DA365 wrote: »

I'd say we absolutely are.

That picture looks like an analog synth from the 70's .I call all my synths female .

Yourself

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

We have one switch that's a piss take of men Not women it makes us look dumber then a breaze block granted some men are for men to think that pictures funny god damm it man what the **** are you saying about your self your some kinda Idiot that women can just flutter there eye balls and all of a sudden you turn into some magical lap dog meeting all womens needs?

word of advice Snowy...if a girl flutters her eye balls instead of her eyelashes something has gone wrong! :eek:

To all the nakedness:
Lets face it, its going to happen at some stage of the night and its a sure fire way of pointing out the girl you like for the whole room to see! Doooooooo it!

Snowie

Yourself wrote: »

word of advice Snowy...if a girl flutters her eye balls instead of her eyelashes something has gone wrong! :eek:

I'm sorry I got caught up in the heat of the moment you know how it is :P


mmmm yep

krudler

Yourself wrote: »

word of advice Snowy...if a girl flutters her eye balls instead of her eyelashes something has gone wrong! :eek:

To all the nakedness:
Lets face it, its going to happen at some stage of the night and its a sure fire way of pointing out the girl you like for the whole room to see! Doooooooo it!

Maybe everyone should just get naked :pac:

TouchingVirus

It happened to me six years ago. It happened to me last Saturday night. Other than that, no.

Yes, it's a major confidence boost. I actually can't wait to head out again

Galvasean

So your advice ladies is... be neat.. but not TOO neat?

A rather lovely girl came onto me at aparty on Friday. I missed several subtle signals (cause I'm st00pid), but eventually she started getting more and more obvious and I kopped on. i think we're seing each other now

Hurling Mad

Thats alright guys but when you have your 18 yr old daughters friend flirting with you, its a totally different thing. Shes a stunner, with a cleevage youd get lost in, very very tempted, but self abuse the best option in this case or stick to the older married ones who dont talk, ha!!!!:D

LegacyUser

I had to smile when I saw this thread, many a time I have gone over to a guy who I think is goodlooking and chat/flirt... Pubs more so than clubs. I really don't see it as being that unusual, guys tend not to approach girls in big groups so if you want to find out more about them you just have to go for it!

Midweek also seems to be better than weekends.. you can get a very mixed group of ppl which is fun =D

Otis Driftwood

Hurling Mad wrote: »

Thats alright guys but when you have your 18 yr old daughters friend flirting with you, its a totally different thing. Shes a stunner, with a cleevage youd get lost in, very very tempted, but self abuse the best option in this case or stick to the older married ones who dont talk, ha!!!!:D

The name of this forum is The Gentlemans Club,the above reply is not the place for answers like that,please bear that in mind when posting,cheers.

Chewabacca

It happens to me every so often but being the dope I am I only realize after.

I agree with u in that it's a major ego booster. I've never been much of a "player"(horrible word but couldn't think of a better term) so the girls coming onto me is usually where I get my bit.

Once I was at a gig and after it I was talking to this really hot foreign girl outside the toilets and was talking to her about normal stuff, not trying to impress her or anything. I eventually said goodbye and walked over to my brother and he said "you complete dope, that girl was trying to dance with u for the whole gig and was begging for u to make a move there and you chose to come over here instead". Doh.

I also used to have this feckin class jumper that I wore out a lot. Every time I wore it I'd have random girls coming over complimenting it. The jumper was like a wearable chat up line:)

Galvasean

Pics of epic jumper of awesomedom?

Yourself

Chewabacca wrote: »

Once I was at a gig and after it I was talking to this really hot foreign girl outside the toilets and was talking to her about normal stuff, not trying to impress her or anything. I eventually said goodbye and walked over to my brother and he said "you complete dope, that girl was trying to dance with u for the whole gig and was begging for u to make a move there and you chose to come over here instead". Doh.

So you turned back around and went back over...

and then what happened?

Galvasean wrote: »

Pics of epic jumper of awesomedom?

Hell yeah! doooooooo it!

DeclanAbroad

I think I've always been bad at spotting signals that a girl is interested.

Anyway something that happened recently has me confused....I've been going to the same coffee shop for a takeout order practically every weekday morning for 3+ years now, so of course all the staff recognise and tend to remember what I order.

About a month ago I noticed the current manageress seemed to be making a fair bit of eye contact with me when taking my order and also when passing me my coffee once it was ready. I didn't think a whole lot about it until one day when I was running late and wasn't really paying too much attention and then when my coffee was ready rather than passing it over straight away she seemed to hold on to it until after I looked up and she then had the chance to made the usual eye contact - I guess it wasn't a long delay but to me it seemed quite noticable that she was withholding the drink until she got her eye contact.

After this I became more aware of her eye contact and started to think she was trying to flirt with me.

We do talk a little bit often, general chit-chat stuff, depending on how busy it is in the shop.

After a couple of weeks of this happening I went in during lunchtime with a mate/work colleague and beforehand mentioned to him about what I'd noticed. So we went in ordered and afterwards my mate said that yes he'd noticed the eye contact she was giving me and maybe she was trying to flirt.

Finally after about 4 weeks of this I decided to try asking her out........went in as usual one morning, had a little chat-chat with her and then asked her if she fancied going out for a drink sometime......and she replied "I don't drink" which put me on the spot so then I came up with a corny alternative of "ok, I know you work in a coffee shop but how about meeting for a coffee/tea then instead?". I got the impression she was going to say no again but then a customer came in and she had to serve him so that was the end of the chat. I know she often works long days (the day before I asked her out she'd mentioned she'd worked 12-13 hours that day) and she drives to work from a nearby town - so maybe when she said she doesn't drink she meant as she drives to city ever day.

I've seen her several times since then and we still chit-chat and I still notice the eye contact (not sure whether as much as before or not).

So I'm really confused - I was *so* convinced she was flirting/giving me the eye. Perhaps its just because I'm a regular customer that she looked at me more than she would at a typical customer but I'm not so sure.

What would you make of this if it happened to you?

Chaotic_Forces

TBH, DecleanAbroad, I'd be blunt with her. Just say something like "am I misunderstand understanding you or are you just trying to be friendly?". Don't make a song and dance about it. If she's just being a nice employee you can say something like "oh okay, I was just curious". You might look like a sort of tool but it's better that than ask her out and she gets very nervous and your local coffee shop ends up being somewhere else.

Yourself

I think she does like you but she's probably not going to approach you about it again, she wont want to be running customers from the shop and making a show of herself if your circumstances have changed.

My suggestion would be that you say to her something like "how about you let me take you out sometime?" then give her a big smile. If she says she's really busy these days just say "well you let me know" or something along those lines. So that she has an 'in' for bring it up next time.

I'd say she might very well be kicking herself that she got interrupted and didn't get to finish the conversation you'd started. She might think that due to her responses you feel rejected (although perhaps not the intention) and so easing off the eye contact a little.

She may not drink for any number of reasons and remember you put her on the spot too, not drinking is not rejection but a fact that sprung to her mind when you put her on the spot. Bring her out for dinner, suggest that you know the perfect little place that you'd love her to try or something different because Id say she's probably in need of a break from coffee shops by the sounds of things.

I wouldn't go with the whole 'ask her out straight' approach because she may not want to be so blunt in front of a whole coffee shop and all her staff. Also if she said she likes you and after a few dates it faded she could be left feeling very uncomfortable if you'd banked on those feelings lasting.

Do it soon! I'm dying to know what happens!

DeclanAbroad

Yourself wrote: »

I'd say she might very well be kicking herself that she got interrupted and didn't get to finish the conversation you'd started. She might think that due to her responses you feel rejected (although perhaps not the intention) and so easing off the eye contact a little.

I've only seen her a couple of times so far since then and didn't bring up the subject since as I wanted to see if she'd say anything further.....which she hasn't.

I should point out that she's not Irish and this happened in a different (European) country so there might be some cultural misunderstandings going on.

Yourself wrote: »

I wouldn't go with the whole 'ask her out straight' approach because she may not want to be so blunt in front of a whole coffee shop and all her staff. Also if she said she likes you and after a few dates it faded she could be left feeling very uncomfortable if you'd banked on those feelings lasting.

Generally when I go there in the morning the place isn't very busy and there's only 1 or 2 staff working so it wouldn't be like I'd be putting her on the spot in front of other people. In fact that why I chose the moment to ask her previously - the place was quite, just her working, no customers within earshot..........but then of course right in the middle of me trying to suss her out a new customer walked in so she had to deal with him/her.

Yourself wrote: »

Do it soon! I'm dying to know what happens!

Me too - after a month of being more and more convinced it wasn't my imagination and that she fancied me the result of my brief attempt to ask her out was a bit disappointing especially as the interruption meant it never came to any clear conclusion either way.

The "joys" of working in a foreign (non-native English speaking) country eh.

And this happened about 2 months after another "weird" experience - was in a club (rock, metal, punk type music) with a mate and it was towards the end of the night, about 3am, probably less than 30-40 people left in the place. There was a group of 6 girls standing nearby to us and whilst my mate went off to the toilet one of the girls came over and started talking to me in German - I could hardly hear her over the music, plus was a little tipsy, and my German is crap so I had no idea what she was on about and so asked her if she spoke English........at which point she walked off back to her friends.

My mate comes back and I get him to go over to her to find out what she wanted - he comes back and tells me that she came over to tell me one of her friends really fancied me. Great I tell my mate, which one is it.........she won't tell him. I guess they lost interest due to my lack of German skills :-( First time in years I've had a girl come up and say "my mate fancies you" and language becomes a barrier......doh!

[thinking back on it as I was a bit tipsy I maybe asked her to speak English in a slightly impolite way ("Auf Englisch bitte") rather than saying the German for "sorry, I don't understand, do you speak English?")]

Yourself

Well try again with this girl anyway, if she's not interested it wont be a case of you trying too hard, but if she is interested, you'll be glad.

What have you got to lose? worst case scenario you have to find another coffee shop!

Whip it off like a plaster no point dwelling on it and nothing ever happening then finding out from someone years later that she was mad about you but now she's married etc. etc. ...horrible

NothingMan

DeclanAbroad wrote: »

rather than saying the German for "sorry, I don't understand, do you speak English?")]

"Endschuldigung, Ich nicht Verstehe, sprechen sie englisch?"

And that's all I learned after 6 years of German.

Yourself

NothingMan wrote: »

"Endschuldigung, Ich nicht Verstehe, sprechen sie englisch?"

And that's all I learned after 6 years of German.

According to google translate that means "Sorry, I do not understand, speak English, they" :pac:

DeclanAbroad

NothingMan wrote: »

"Endschuldigung, Ich nicht Verstehe, sprechen sie englisch?"

And that's all I learned after 6 years of German.

Yes, I know how to say that already - I was trying to avoid the chat turning into a foreign language tutorial :-)

NothingMan

Yourself wrote: »

According to google translate that means "Sorry, I do not understand, speak English, they" :pac:

Pfft, like google know anything. I got a B2 in ordinary level German in my leaving 7 years ago, who ya gonna trust?

BumbleB

NothingMan wrote: »

"Endschuldigung, Ich nicht Verstehe, sprechen sie englisch?"

And that's all I learned after 6 years of German.

Is it not, Ich verstehe nicht ?.

demonspawn

RedRebel wrote: »

I find I'm at my best when I'm seeing someone. It's a feast or a famine with me :mad:

A tip, week nights are where its at. Wednesday night = business time

Your post reminded me of this so I just had to post it.
FOTC ARE GODS LIVING AMONGST US!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

Oh, and the only time I get laid is when girls approach me....so not that much.:(

stupidusername

There was a guy in the supermarket i was in yesterday, he looked quite nice. But there was just something about the situation that made it feel really weird to say something to him.

In a more ballsy mood I might've been ok saying something, but have to say the supermarket definitely didn't feel right. It's just more ok in a pub/club. why have we (irish people) made things so difficult for ourselves! Men and women (here and in tLL) seem to say no one ever flirts with me, and especially outside of pubs. Someone has to start a new trend

ordinary_girl

stupidusername, I get what you mean about how weird it'd seem to approach someone you see when you're in the supermarket doing some shopping. Apparently in America it's not that unusual, but there is somethig about it over here that just makes it seem like a strange move. If it's not somewhere where you can have a pint then it's not appropriate! Haha

HavingCrack

stupidusername wrote: »

There was a guy in the supermarket i was in yesterday, he looked quite nice. But there was just something about the situation that made it feel really weird to say something to him.

In a more ballsy mood I might've been ok saying something, but have to say the supermarket definitely didn't feel right. It's just more ok in a pub/club. why have we (irish people) made things so difficult for ourselves! Men and women (here and in tLL) seem to say no one ever flirts with me, and especially outside of pubs. Someone has to start a new trend

ordinary_girl wrote: »

stupidusername, I get what you mean about how weird it'd seem to approach someone you see when you're in the supermarket doing some shopping. Apparently in America it's not that unusual, but there is somethig about it over here that just makes it seem like a strange move. If it's not somewhere where you can have a pint then it's not appropriate! Haha

I think its more to do with our alcohol culture in nearly every aspect of our lives. Sports clubs have bars, funerals and baptisms are excuses to drink, St Patricks day is an excuse to drink in the street, going to a gig entails getting legless beforehand...etc. It's not suprising that dating/chatting men/women up is is any different to be honest. It's become so associated with drinking that we find it funny to do it outside of pubs...sad but true..

yellowbear

It happened to me last night.

I was out in the smoking area with my friends. One of the lads tries to chat up this girl, she had no interest in him at all but she just says to him introduce me to your friend and then comes over to me and starts chattin away n suggests we go inside and get drinks, it was great.

The horrible thing is though i got her number and i checked it today and in my drunkeness i put too many digits in the number so cant contact her again!

stupidusername

oh no! poor you. could you not guess?