Just spotted Raoul Moat

Bog

He was in WH Smith's in Peterborough looking a little tired.

In his basket I saw he had "Ray Mears Natural Protein Supplements", "The Guv'nor" by Lenny McLean, some Fisher Price washable face paints, a box of pens and four huge A4 writing pads.

"Do you sell night vision goggles , Pet?" he said to the gum-chewing assistant who, I could see from her name tag, was called Stacey.

"Is it a DVD?" said Stacey

I could see Raoul getting agitated, the lack of sleep and the pressure of his flight causing him to inhale and exhale loudly and rub the temples either side of his mohican haircut.

Suddenly he exploded:

"ARE YOU A COPPER???!!" he screamed at a frightened Stacey "YOU'RE A ****IN' COPPER AREN'T YA, BITCH?? SAY IT! SAY YE'RE A COPPER. ADMIT IT AND I'LL GO EASY ON YER."

At this point a startled shop manager - named Gareth - came running over.

"Is there a problem here, sir?" he asked, trying to mask the terror in his voice

"THIS BITCH IS A ****IN' COPPER AND SHE WIVVENT ADMIT IT"

Suddenly Raoul fell to the floor, took out his A4 pad and pen and began writing. "DEAR ****IN' WH SMITH, LIKE. YOU ***** HAVE PISSED ME ABOUT FOR TOO LONG NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO. YOU'RE AS GUILTY AS I AM. IF YOUSE HAD JUST LEFT US ALONE THERE WOULDN'T BE NO BOTHER. NOW THERE'S GOING TO BLOODSHED AND DEATH, probably, AND IT'LL BE ON YOUR HANDS. AS SOON AS I FINISH THIS LETTER I'M GOING TO WASTE THE ****IN' LOT OF YERS. IT ALL STARTED BACK IN 1998 WHEN ME DA' SHOT THAT RABBIT........"

As if in a trance, Raoul suddenly seemed oblivious to everyone around him as he lay on the floor writing his letter, occasionally sucking on the pen and at one point getting a dictionary from the shelf and looking up the word "psychopath".

Gareth eventually edged closer and said "Er. excuse me sir, are you actually going to shoot anyone or are you just going to write another ****ing letter? It's nearly closing time, see"

Raoul looked up. His face now transformed from his former rage. His demeanour respectful and professional "Closing time? Ah right. Do you want me to help with chucking out?" Before shouting "HEY. I SAID NO ****IN' TRAINERS" at a startled customer

"No thanks" said Gareth "We can take care of that. Would you just leave us now, sir?"

"No problem" said Raoul, gathering his things and getting to his feet. Quietly, he left the shop, smeared his face with green face paint and slipped quietly away into the crowd. An invisible fugitive once again.

Gareth quickly closed and locked the doors. Just as he pulled down the shutter he could hear a loud cry in the distance...

"ARE YOU A ****IN' COPPER???????"

MonkieSocks

Police are desperately searching the Newcastle area for Rauol Moat
stopping everyone who is built like a brick sh1thouse with a flat nose and no teeth and covered in tattoos.


After 6 days of searching they have decided to concentrate on stopping
men only

______________________

If the £10,000 reward for finding the gunman isn’t claimed by Saturday

It will be a £20,000 Rauolover

______________________


I'm a PC, and hiding from Rauol Moat was my idea

Devastator

My local is selling Raoul Moat lager for this weekend only!


It has no head

deise8

Devastator you are impressing very few if any with stupid **** you are spouting

Devastator

New windows advert...
Im a PC and letting that ugly ginger **** shoot himself so i can get back to shagging his girlfriend was my idea

jc77

Raoul Moat has had his Facebook profile deleted on the grounds that he no longer has a face.

jc77

They think it's Raoul over.

...It is now.

AckwelFoley

You arseholes think this is a laugh, dont you?

Well, none of these jokes are even raoul moatly funny

pebbles21

Synper dont lose the head now

Podge2k7

PeterIanStaker

A large guy with a history of mental illness went into Rothbury Police station and gave himself up.

the desk sergeant said "F*ck off Gazza, we're busy!"

deise8

ye'r so stupid looking trying to come up with jokes clearly wasters with nothing better going on in ye'r lives!!! think nothing like that could ever happen ye'r own family...grow up:mad:

Devastator

I tried to give Raoul Moat a lesson on gun safety, but it went in one ear, out the other.



Raoul Moat is a message to all you gingers out there - We will find you, and we'll make it look like suicide.



I've just phoned the police to tell them that I found Raoul Moat and he is in the morgue.
Apparently, I'm not eligible for the £10,000 reward.

Charter

deise8 banned for not having a sense of humour breaking the charter.

Charter wrote:

Please use the Report Post function is you have a problem with a post.

bazza1

Ive just spotted Raul Moat on tv....sorry it was Mark van Bommel from Holland

jc77

How brave was Paul Gascoigne, actually admitting to having a ginger friend