Dating sites?

Snoopy1

michael999999 wrote: »

one great site that i found for meeting people is chat roulette.there so friendly and really want to get to know you as a person!

Seriously?? Ive only been on it twice and all ive ever seen are naked teenagers on it!! Who only want to see you naked.
Am i on the wrong site

sweet-rasmus

Had to join Plenty of Fish after reading reports on here. It is quite the laugh I'll see how many days I keep the profile for...

the watchman

Fago! wrote: »

Joined okcupid the other day.

Today, bumped into two boardsies. Messaging one, she knows me from here (and my real name), but I haven't a clue who she is. She won't tell me.

lol:D, sorry for laughing.
Perhaps all of us here can help you find out who she is...that would be cool!

Fago!

the watchman wrote: »

lol:D, sorry for laughing.
Perhaps all of us here can help you find out who she is...that would be cool!

Ha I since found out who she is. Not saying. :P

Harrybelafonte

Actually found someone really cool on Okcupid. Just need to think of something to say now.

Does anyone play the games on it? Got one saying "one of these girls gave your profile a five star rating, guess which one and we can match you if you give her the same". Found that a bit weird.

KyussBishop

Have been on PoF for a while and more recently OK Cupid, and have sent tonnes of messages over the last few months, but it's incredibly difficult getting any replies (guy btw). Not short 'How are you?' messages or anything, I do put effort into them.

What are good things to say in initial messages, and what would make a message stand out enough to be worth replying to?

I get that female members on dating sites get a huge amount of messages, just would be interesting to hear what would get people replying

Snoopy1

Ok, i never reply to mails, that just have "how are you" on it. You dont need to write an essay, but you want to show that you've actually read the girls profile. So ask a question, about their interests etc. or if they say they like a sport, ask about it.
My profile says i like lost, so got a load of emails asking me about Lost (what i thought of ending etc.)
Dont make it too long though, just a couple of questions.

princess-lala

Snoopy1 wrote: »

Ok, i never reply to mails, that just have "how are you" on it. You dont need to write an essay, but you want to show that you've actually read the girls profile. So ask a question, about their interests etc. or if they say they like a sport, ask about it.
My profile says i like lost, so got a load of emails asking me about Lost (what i thought of ending etc.)
Dont make it too long though, just a couple of questions.

I hate when they say "Ive read your profile blah blah what do you do"

If you have read my profile, you would know what I do!!

mood

Got message from a guy asking if I wanted to chat. So check out his profile which ended 'no time wastes'. I then notices he hadn't even looked at my profile at all!!! WTF!!!

the watchman

mood wrote: »

Got message from a guy asking if I wanted to chat. So check out his profile which ended 'no time wastes'. I then notices he hadn't even looked at my profile at all!!! WTF!!!

How do you know he didn't look?

mood

the watchman wrote: »

How do you know he didn't look?

The site shows who looked at your profile!

From a blokes perspective they are mostly a waste of time. I know women get alot of mails and have to weed out the weirdos? But how does a bloke protray themselves as normal? I suspect it is mostly down to photo, I know women would not lke to think themslevs as shallow but Id say alot are !!

mood

rockdrummer4 wrote: »

From a blokes perspective they are mostly a waste of time. I know women get alot of mails and have to weed out the weirdos? But how does a bloke protray themselves as normal? I suspect it is mostly down to photo, I know women would not lke to think themslevs as shallow but Id say alot are !!

Well asking in a first message to a girl don't say 'Fancy a s*ag?'. (Yes, this actually happened). Don't get aggressive when a girl don't respond asap. Don't expect a girl to give here number to you after one message. I could give more example but I think you will get the general idea.

Or maybe their alot of normal blokes out there who sound a bit weird just because they're not sure what to be saying in emails

Ive found thatI send a girl an email (with a bit of effort in it, not just a one liner), then she replies with one or 2 sentences then I reply back and nothing.... It seems the guys have to make all the effort and the women still end up picking the weirdos !!

I was chatting to this girl for a week once, everyday, seemed to be getting on well and then she deleted her profile Now that was a kick in the teeth... and similar stuff has been happening all along...

Unless your ready to put up with alot of s**t I wouldnt bother with it, can be quite depressing ! and wont do your confidence any good

KyussBishop

mood wrote: »

The site shows who looked at your profile!

Ya but you can set up your account, so that others don't know you visted their profile

mood

mood wrote: »

Well asking in a first message to a girl don't say 'Fancy a s*ag?'. (Yes, this actually happened). Don't get aggressive when a girl don't respond asap. Don't expect a girl to give here number to you after one message. I could give more example but I think you will get the general idea.

I never have and never would, thats a sure way of not getting a reply. Ive never get agressive if they dont reply... just kinda annoys me when they do reply and then I reply back and then nothing.... this happens all the time !

mood

rockdrummer4 wrote: »

Or maybe their alot of normal blokes out there who sound a bit weird just because they're not sure what to be saying in emails

Ive found thatI send a girl an email (with a bit of effort in it, not just a one liner), then she replies with one or 2 sentences then I reply back and nothing.... It seems the guys have to make all the effort and the women still end up picking the weirdos !!

I was chatting to this girl for a week once, everyday, seemed to be getting on well and then she deleted her profile Now that was a kick in the teeth... and similar stuff has been happening all along...

Unless your ready to put up with alot of s**t I wouldnt bother with it, can be quite depressing ! and wont do your confidence any good

I suppose you can't take it too personally. Maybe that girl got back with an ex or meet someone that weekend!

mood

mood wrote: »

I suppose you can't take it too personally. Maybe that girl got back with an ex or meet someone that weekend!

Oh I definitely understand that, but when it happens over and over then you begin to think Anyway its all just a game at the end of the day...

To be fair your previous comments about receiving emails about "fancy a shag" Im sure their in the minority and easy to delete....

Snoopy1

Ive been asked if i wanted 3somes, if i liked to have fun in front of web cams, how big c*ck i liked!!!!!

Dont take it personally if someone doesnt reply to you, it happens to women as well, men dont always reply.

I replied to a few emails if there wasnt a photo, but eventually would ask for a photo

Harrybelafonte

This is all rather disheartening, have spent a few days wondering what to say to someone on it and now I don't think I could be bothered.

Snoopy1

Honestly go for it. Yes ive met some reall weirdos, but ive been seeing a really nice guy for a month now, that i met on the site. Just send the message, if they reply its good, if they dont move on to the next person you like.

Purple Lemons

I love okcupid

Just for chatting, quizzes etc

chiefwiggum

KyussBishop wrote: »

Have been on PoF for a while and more recently OK Cupid, and have sent tonnes of messages over the last few months, but it's incredibly difficult getting any replies (guy btw). Not short 'How are you?' messages or anything, I do put effort into them.

What are good things to say in initial messages, and what would make a message stand out enough to be worth replying to?

I get that female members on dating sites get a huge amount of messages, just would be interesting to hear what would get people replying

go for a bit of humour nothing too serious for the first message...i met my wife to be on match.com and in part of her profile she said she wanted to try online dating before she gave up and bought a cat...i replied in add form... 1 CAT FOR SALE.. good home only...the rest as they say is history(still never got the cat:D)

mawk

thread made me look at okcupe
some very interesting reading on their blag.
http://blog.okcupid.com/

might help anyone in this online romance lark.

KyussBishop

chiefwiggum wrote: »

go for a bit of humour nothing too serious for the first message...i met my wife to be on match.com and in part of her profile she said she wanted to try online dating before she gave up and bought a cat...i replied in add form... 1 CAT FOR SALE.. good home only...the rest as they say is history(still never got the cat:D)

Heh, ya good approach, though can be tricky finding a good joke to throw in

Promoteland

mood wrote: »

Thinking about joining a dating website. Do you know of any good ones? Any advice?

Try facebook;)

Promoteland

Stefan Large Belly wrote: »

i personally think that its better to not go on them better to get out and meet people in the flesh get a better idea of them i think

I don't think so, there are many nice people on dating sites who are not able to meet peole on the street

the watchman

Look lads, its like this.........list 1.

Places to meet the opposite sex are:-
The street.
The shopping mall.
sports club.
Dinner at a friends house.
On holiday.
The pub.
The Deli counter.
A funeral.
A wedding.
A baptism.
A Courthourse.
A hospital.
Tescos.
Check in line at airport.
Mcdonalds.
Nightclub.
The beach.
Car Boot Sale. etc etc etc etc etc.

Then there is....The Internet Dating Sites:D..You see where I'm going with this..they are simple just another place to meet others.
Only thing is that there are pros and cons for for the two different ways.
All in the first list you can see 'clearly' and absoluteley what the person looks like, how he or she smells, how they present themselves in the flesh etc. etc. but you won't know if they can read or write.

On the internet you will know if they can read and write but you won't know about those other things that I mentioned. There are so many subtle things going on when face to face which you can't get over the internet.

So there it is then, its great to have informed choices. Happy fishing lol.
It was POF that started all this wasn't it lol:D

Dunno about meeting people on the street, or similar, have seen quite a few ladies I would have loved to approach and the thought did cross my mind, but I dont know, might be a bit strange.... suppose you'd never see them again so who gives a ****

steo2009

Hi im on also on plentyoffish, its a good free website but i have had no luck finding anyone, another free one is smooch,

Snoopy1

Have hope everyone. Im having a great relationship with someone i met on Plenty of Fish

Feu

hey, just thought i'd add in that i tried anotherfriend.com Met up with about 5 lovely guys, and even went long term with one, tho we've since split. They were all lovely, not weird or strange, just nice normal guys, just really had chemistry with the one tho.

I would say over the course of a given month, after i put up a photo, i got perhaps 40-60 "hey how are you?" stupid 1 line emails, and 10-20 decent mails. I generally only replied if the email was decent enough, as in had evidence of brain waves and had read my profile. I corresponded [is that the right word???] with perhaps 10-15 in total, before ruling some of them out as weirdos, or i just wasn;t interested for whatever reason. That said, very few real weirdos approached me!!

I would definitely recommend giving it a try if you're willing to take it with a pinch of salt, by that i mean, you may not find the love of your life, but you might have a bit of a laugh, you might meet a weirdo, but you could meet a good fling! I think you need to approach it with the right attitude or you could be disappointed.

For guys and girls definitely put up a picture, if you're ok with that. It means you'll get much more replies and i think implies you're kind of taking it a bit more seriously. [tho i don't mean to say you're not taking it seriously if you don't. some people just aren't comfortable with it, for various reasons, and that's cool too]

For all the guys saying they don't get replies, yes girls do get loads of emails, and it could be hard to reply to them all, which i tried to do. But i was told more than once that i was very courteous and polite, and most women didn't bother their ar$e. I could see how that would be discouraging for blokes! I'm not sure if the girls are overwhelmed or maybe they decide they're not interested in the bloke and just don't respond.

On what to say to start a conversation, it depends, some of the sites have like what movies, music etc you like so you could ask the person about that. I used to do something cheesy like tell a joke or ask a random question like if you had a superpower what would it be? Kind of breaks the ice!

One more thing is that it can take up a lot of your time! So i'd say, give it say a month, and really go for it. Like, try to contact a couple of people and meet up with a few, and commit to giving it a try.

I've recommended it to a lot of friends, as a supplemental way of meeting people, as in, in addition to maybe meeting someone at the pub or whatever, but a lot of people are afraid of the weirdo factor :Dbut i think we can all agree, you're just as likely to meet a weirdo at the pub as online!

if anyone wants any advice on it, i'd be happy to help out.

**girls do let someone know where;ll you'll be!

mood

So, meet a guy from a dating site and we got on really well and are meeting again. I have not logged into the site since I meet him and don't know if he has. We are both very new to this. Should I still be using the site and arranging other dates? I don't want to as I would like to see if this develops into anything. I would feel odd IM / mailing other guy when I have meet someone I like. How do people usually approach this?

Feu

If you don't feel right about it, then don't. This is your experience.

......That said, keep your options open, don't cancel your membership or anything, just i case you don't like him so much the next time, as that can happen But that's great that you met someone you clicked with

btw fair play to you for going on a date! So many people put up a profile and chat to people but are too afraid to actually go on a date!

Emme

Does this annoy anyone else? I'm on anotherfriend and have gone for a few dates. On all of them the guy took my number at the end of the date and said he'd call during the week. None of them did.

If another one asks for my number I'm tempted to say "don't take my number unless you really intend to call".

Guys, it isn't polite to do this, it raises women's hopes unnecessarily and leaves us disillusioned when you don't call. Just say "thanks for meeting me" and leave it at that. It's a polite way of getting the message across and you're not giving anyone false hope.

Feu

I agree Emme, men & women should both do this. I think sometimes men feel they need to do this to be polite or avoid awkwardness. They would prefer to pretend they're gonna call, then have to say in person, "prob won't see you again!" I'm not sure why, it is crueller to say you're going to call and then not, but in most cases i'm sure its not intentional.

Just a query, what preceded the number taking? as in, did one of you say, "shall we do this again?" Because it could be really hard to respond to that in a nice way, might seem like taking the number is the easy way out!

stripysocks85

Met my bf on Plenty of fish. Moving in together & together 2 years next month.

Emme

Feu wrote: »

I agree Emme, men & women should both do this. I think sometimes men feel they need to do this to be polite or avoid awkwardness. They would prefer to pretend they're gonna call, then have to say in person, "prob won't see you again!" I'm not sure why, it is crueller to say you're going to call and then not, but in most cases i'm sure its not intentional.

Just a query, what preceded the number taking? as in, did one of you say, "shall we do this again?" Because it could be really hard to respond to that in a nice way, might seem like taking the number is the easy way out!

I never ask for a guys number or say "shall we do it again". I just play it by ear and usually know by the vibe if the guy is interested or not. Now I know that guys multidate and who knows, he might have been going on to another date and decided she was younger, prettier and a better prospect! So he decides not to call me after all. Fair enough.

In the case of multidating (meeting a number of prospects in one day or week) the guy should just say "thanks for meeting" and follow up by email to let me know the lie of the land. Either "it was nice to meet you but I'm busy with work/rugby/GAA at the moment so I won't be meeting you again" or "thanks for meeting, let's do this again" (and ACTUALLY do it :rolleyes:)

I'm not a fan of rules or anything, but I am a fan of good manners and not giving people false hope.

Wolflikeme

Emme wrote: »

I never ask for a guys number or say "shall we do it again". I just play it by ear and usually know by the vibe if the guy is interested or not. Now I know that guys multidate and who knows, he might have been going on to another date and decided she was younger, prettier and a better prospect! So he decides not to call me after all. Fair enough.

In the case of multidating (meeting a number of prospects in one day or week) the guy should just say "thanks for meeting" and follow up by email to let me know the lie of the land. Either "it was nice to meet you but I'm busy with work/rugby/GAA at the moment so I won't be meeting you again" or "thanks for meeting, let's do this again" (and ACTUALLY do it :rolleyes:)

I'm not a fan of rules or anything, but I am a fan of good manners and not giving people false hope.

It doesn't make it right, I know but, surely every girl on the planet knows that when a guy (some guys) says he'll call he may not actually do it. Just take it that you might not hear from him again, no big deal.

You're right though, it is proper manners and I wouldn't do it myself.

Feu

I totally agree with you emme. If you dont want to see someone again, give a polite enough line/excuse, and leave it at that.

The multidate thing could def be a factor, or they could literally meet someone in a pub or whatever.

As always, it's the not knowing that really gets ya!

Emme

Wolflikeme wrote: »

It doesn't make it right, I know but, surely every girl on the planet knows that when a guy (some guys) says he'll call he may not actually do it. Just take it that you might not hear from him again, no big deal.

So if a guy says he'll call, assume he won't? If a guy just took my number that wouldn't be a problem, but when a guy takes your number and makes sure that you have his and says he'll call you next week that's a pain in the ass. I have been through every permutation and combination of this.

I decided to text one guy after the date for the hell of it "thanks for coffee, it was nice to meet you". I never heard back. A friend said that I was being too "grateful" by thanking him for coffee and that I came across desperate and THAT was why he didn't call. But the ones who gave me their number but I didn't bother texting didn't call either so I don't think I was too grateful. Or was I? Male opinions on this would be enlightening.

Wolflikeme wrote: »

You're right though, it is proper manners and I wouldn't do it myself.

Basic dating manners and good communication skills should be taught in schools to boys and girls. Refresher courses at third level wouldn't be a bad idea either, not to mention dating/basic good manners courses for the over 35s and the divorced/separateds who are back in the pond after a long absence. This would avoid the minefield and heartache that pervades the dating scene today. For example:

Guys: be honest, if you're not going to call don't ask for her number and don't give her yours.

Girls: Don't look at his watch and shoes the minute you meet, he'll (probably rightly) think you're a gold digger.

I'm fed up of going on dates that lead nowhere.:rolleyes: I can think of millions of better ways to spend my time than with some loser who sits talking to you for over 2 hours, says he'll call and then he doesn't.

I think I'll opt out and just take lovers myself at this stage.

mood

Emme wrote: »

Girls: Don't look at his watch and shoes the minute you meet, he'll (probably rightly) think you're a gold digger.

I'm fed up of going on dates that lead nowhere.:rolleyes: I can think of millions of better ways to spend my time than with some loser who sits talking to you for over 2 hours, says he'll call and then he doesn't.

It would never dawn on my to look at shoes or watched but then I'm not a gold digger so that might explain it!

If a date only lasted two hours I would assume the guy was not interested so wouldn't expect a call/text! My last two first dates lasted 6 hours and I hear from both again! IMO short date = bad sign and long date = good sign!

Feu

mood wrote: »

It would never dawn on my to look at shoes or watched but then I'm not a gold digger so that might explain it!

Is something that people do???? to see how fancy they are? it's amazing people manage to procreate at all

Panthro

i must be getting things completely orse ways as i have taken the plunge into joining a site and i end up having the most random of conversations with people, i somehow actually manage to go into the online friendzone 99% of the time!
note to self, chance using a cheesy pick up line, you never use them papa!

How Soon Is Now

Been on that plenty of fish site since last year.
I kinda dont take it seriously most the time but in saying that i have met a few girls off it.

My experiences with it are there are alot of messers who dont really have a clue what they want and are using this as just another bebo to whore themselfs out online.

There is alot of nice normal down to earth people on it i just think to be honest one main problems for a man anyway *I cant speak for women ha*
is that most of the decent half interesting women on these sites are taking it way to seriously and in doing this they actually end up ignoring or pushing aside most of the men who are actually for real.

My advice dont go on an internet dating site with alot of fecking rules and regulations about who is good enough for me and who i should not answer.
Try and give people a chance you will find out quick enough two or three messages in what there looking for then make your choice.


Also on the whole taking someones number thing i dont understand why someone would go to the trouble of asking for your number and not using it?
I mean if u didnt get on with someone leave it at that any girl i ever asked for a number from i txted her the next day i mean i asked for a reason.

Emme

mood wrote: »

If a date only lasted two hours I would assume the guy was not interested so wouldn't expect a call/text! My last two first dates lasted 6 hours and I hear from both again! IMO short date = bad sign and long date = good sign!

You must have a lot of spare time or meet people with a lot of spare time. First dates with me wouldn't last any more than 3 hours - it's usually a coffee after work or something similar.

I once had a first date that lasted 5 minutes but that's because I told the guy what to do with himself - he was only interested in what I worked at, where I lived and when he asked how much I earned I excused myself.

Angerfist2009, if you don't take a dating site seriously why are you judging the girls on it as messers? That's free sites for you. You might find fewer messers on a paying site.

Faith

What's the protocol for turning down a second date?

mood

Emme wrote: »

You must have a lot of spare time or meet people with a lot of spare time. First dates with me wouldn't last any more than 3 hours - it's usually a coffee after work or something similar.

No. For example one was a dinner date at 8pm on a friday night and we stayed out until 2am. That doesn't mean I have no life! I'm not going to arrange a date and make other plans for 3 hours later!

How Soon Is Now

Emme wrote: »

You must have a lot of spare time or meet people with a lot of spare time. First dates with me wouldn't last any more than 3 hours - it's usually a coffee after work or something similar.

I once had a first date that lasted 5 minutes but that's because I told the guy what to do with himself - he was only interested in what I worked at, where I lived and when he asked how much I earned I excused myself.

Angerfist2009, if you don't take a dating site seriously why are you judging the girls on it as messers? That's free sites for you. You might find fewer messers on a paying site.

Its not that i dont take the people on it seriously just last while i have not been on it as much and i just head on from time to time.

I will never pay to join a site like this mainly cause im 24 most women on the pay sites would be in there 30s on wards i would be wasting my time.
Also they would be a different type of woman looking for different things to what i want.

Main reason i joined site in first place was out of curiosity cause i dont usually chat women up in pubs and clubs i find it most of the time a waste of time. Id rather enjoy my nite with me mates and leave the girls to do the same with there mates.

How Soon Is Now

mood wrote: »

No. For example one was a dinner date at 8pm on a friday night and we stayed out until 2am. That doesn't mean I have no life! I'm not going to arrange a date and make other plans for 3 hours later!

If i go out with someone its usually at nite or early in the day and we take it from there.
This would be the weekend when you have time to space things out a bit.
Two hours over a coffee to be honest for me anyway would be a waste of time you will find out very little about the person.

Most women i met up with it took them at least an hour or so to chill out abit i dont really have this problem as i usually can talk to anyone anywhere :P