Wanker Dies Getting Herself Off

phill106 · 09-07-2010 9:49pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

Rigor what?

Rigor mortis

Klingon Hamlet · 09-07-2010 9:50pm

kc66 wrote: »

Does nobody find it strange that after finding her dead, her employer looks under the duvet?

Well the vibrator must've still been buzzing...

Klingon Hamlet · 09-07-2010 9:52pm

phill106 wrote: »

Frig-or mortis

FYP

Pherekydes · 09-07-2010 11:17pm

phill106 wrote: »

Rigor mortis

You realise rigor mortis will set in long before the wake or funeral? It reaches maximum stiffness about 12 hours post mortem.

RolandIRL · 09-07-2010 11:20pm

did anyone else misread this as granny instead of nanny?

InTheTrees · 09-07-2010 11:20pm

Coming and going at the same time...

There's worse ways to go.

:eek:

Dudess · 09-07-2010 11:27pm

Pittens wrote: »

story has me a bit worried, truth be told.

Too fukken right...

Daisy Steiner · 09-07-2010 11:37pm

Fittle wrote: »

+1
It's called masturbation.

steve06 wrote: »

Flicking the bean....

Feeding the goat?

Dudess · 09-07-2010 11:39pm

Double-clicking the mouse is the best euphemism ever for it. Thanks Abi!

meathstevie · 09-07-2010 11:44pm

Died in a state of excitement,...fecken beats keeling over from boredom in a state of grace:p

randylonghorn · 09-07-2010 11:53pm

pablomakaveli wrote: »

Also if i ever die having a **** i hope they honour my memory by not having the story published in the world media.

Actually, if I die having a shuffle, they can publish it anywhere they like. They can put it on my headstone if they want.

There are worse ways to go, and there are a hell of a lot of more shameful ways to go.

The real shame is that the woman died so young, not how she died.

And yes, it would have been more considerate to her family if it hadn't been published at all, but it wasn't Boards who published it, and given the location of her death and where she haled from, comments here are unlikely to cause them any further upset (if they're actually upset by the story, rather than the fact that she's dead.)

Pherekydes wrote: »

The OP describes the nanny as a wanker. Is anyone NOT a wanker?

/starts to raise hand

Oh wait, you said "not" ... >_>

RolandIRL · 09-07-2010 11:55pm

funny you should post here randy. maybe you got her randy as well and she died cos of it :P:P

NoHornJan · 10-07-2010 12:03am

t4k30 wrote: »

I'd rather die from sexual over stimulation than cancer. Ps. I don't think the female form of masterbation is known as ****.

7th Heaven. If I had a choice, that's the way...

OutlawPete · 10-07-2010 12:50am

I'd have a heart attack too if I was masturbating in bed watching a movie ..

Closed my eyes to cum, and when I opened them there was a cat sitting on my chest.

Jesus Wept · 10-07-2010 12:55am

Pittens wrote: »

story has me a bit worried, truth be told.

Dudess wrote: »

Too fukken right...

The risk of blindness clearly never stopped ya, so why would this.

randylonghorn · 10-07-2010 12:56am

OutlawPete wrote: »

I'd have a heart attack too if I was masturbating in bed watching a movie ..

Closed my eyes to cum, and when I opened them there was a cat sitting on my chest.

I don't know, I think opening my eyes to a pussy in front of my face would probably help the mood ...

DJCR · 10-07-2010 2:26am

Ok - was slightly disturbed when I Read about this on this forum before I realised:

Nanny = Childminder

Thought they were talk about a grand mother of some sort in her 30's .... I was like......... how the f*** is that possible???

soups05 · 10-07-2010 2:40am

i just wanna know where to buy one of those "toys".

my wifes birthdays is soon and its gotta be cheaper than divorce

Yakult · 10-07-2010 3:18am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCeD_6Y3GQc

sesna · 10-07-2010 4:07am

Even if she did suffer from a heart attack, she should have head the presence of mind to pull the vibrator out and close the porn. I can't imagine how embarrassing this is for her family/friends now that it has been picked up on by tabloid media.

She would have had about a minute of consciousness before expiring. She obviously was enjoying herself too much even as she got into difficulty.

Amalgam · 10-07-2010 4:45am

sesna wrote: »

She would have had about a minute of consciousness before expiring.

Not necessarily, some (most) people get knocked out straight by the shock. It beats burning up in a public ward with cancer, expiring over a few hours.

orourkeda · 10-07-2010 8:46am

Is there something wrong if you get a boner after reading that story?

2 stroke · 10-07-2010 10:37am

Should be a warning printed on all vibrators something like.

Insert batteries correctly or instead of cumming you could go.

Motley Crue · 10-07-2010 12:52pm

It's a pity the authorities didn't realise information about the DVD she was watching...or the name of the clip

They could then market it as "so HOT, you could DIE watching this"

Maybe she saw a big dick and died from shock, in which case, I would HATE to be her boyfriend...having said that, I'd hate to be her boyfriend full stop, could you imagine what could have happened if someone had sex with her!

yosemite_sam · 10-07-2010 12:56pm

spitfireIRL wrote: »

what a first post!

It will be hard to top

PK2008 · 10-07-2010 1:14pm

jarecki1976 wrote: »

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/07/09/2010-07-09_coroner_says_uk_nanny_loved_herself_to_death.html

That pic is going in the **** bank

Wagon · 10-07-2010 1:15pm

she looks really good, She cracks one off while watching porn. That's already two things we have in common. And she had to go and die

We could have been really happy together.

R.I.P

A real loss

The_Kew_Tour · 10-07-2010 1:35pm

Ann22 · 10-07-2010 2:46pm

General Zod wrote: »

aye, better lie to save the shame of their sister being known for enjoying one of lifes simple pleasures.

Ah now come on..All people need to know is that she passed away in her sleep due to a heart defect..it'll be awful for her family to think people are tittering away about the actual circumstances..especially for the older ones.

Wacker · 10-07-2010 2:54pm

I glanced at the thread title and had a moment of panic, as two thoughts went through my head:

Am I dead?
Am I female?!?

force majeure · 10-07-2010 5:52pm

The-Rigger wrote: »

So it's not ok to joke about it, but it is ok to post speculative nonsense.

Explain

dr.bollocko · 10-07-2010 5:57pm

force majeure wrote: »

Explain

You implied she was on drugs.
It's all in the part of the post he emboldened tbh..

bonerm · 10-07-2010 7:25pm

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/07/09/2010-07-09_coroner_says_uk_nanny_loved_herself_to_death.html#ixzz0tBwhtWwn

Wait! She was good looking? This changes everything! :eek:

George Orwell 1982 · 10-07-2010 8:39pm

orourkeda wrote: »

Is there something wrong if you get a boner after reading that story?

Nothing wrong with that at all.

11-07-2010 10:29am

bonerm wrote: »

Wait! She was good looking? This changes everything! :eek:

My understanding of women grows by the day.. Along with not having to go to the toilet, the good looking ones masturbate aswell.
Great stuff.

2 stroke · 11-07-2010 1:52pm

She should have practised safe sex.

Duggy747 · 11-07-2010 3:24pm

Wow, must of been a hell of an orgasm!!

I find it funny that the cat was found just sitting on her chest..............possibly wondering where to start eating her.

Melange · 11-07-2010 3:24pm

2 stroke wrote: »

She should have practised save sex.

Your username fits the thread quite nicely. hehehe. stroke.

dr.bollocko · 11-07-2010 3:28pm

2 stroke wrote: »

She should have practised save sex.

Like ctrl+s?

po020435 · 11-07-2010 3:40pm

I believe Elvis Presley had a heart attack setting on the Jacks taking a dump :eek: Serious.

bonerm · 11-07-2010 4:32pm

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Like ctrl+s?

I read that first as clit+s

orourkeda · 11-07-2010 5:16pm

Duggy747 wrote: »

Wow, must of been a hell of an orgasm!!

I find it funny that the cat was found just sitting on her chest..............possibly wondering where to start eating her.

We all love eating pussy

orourkeda · 11-07-2010 5:17pm

po020435 wrote: »

I believe Elvis Presley had a heart attack setting on the Jacks taking a dump :eek: Serious.

Did he leave skids on the bowl?

11-07-2010 5:25pm

orourkeda wrote: »

Did he leave skids on the bowl?

Nope, just his dignity.

longshanks · 11-07-2010 5:58pm

she came and went

bonerm · 11-07-2010 6:01pm

Deleted User wrote: »

My understanding of women grows by the day.. Along with not having to go to the toilet, the good looking ones masturbate aswell.

Or maybe it's only the good looking ones who masturbate.

randylonghorn · 11-07-2010 7:55pm

Deleted User wrote: »

My understanding of women grows by the day.. Along with not having to go to the toilet, the good looking ones masturbate aswell.
Great stuff.

I think you may have quite a few days to go yet ...

Amalgam · 13-07-2010 7:14am

bonerm wrote: »

Or maybe it's only the good looking ones who masturbate.

I passed my mouse pointer excitedly over the word only, bah..

bonerm · 13-07-2010 9:20am

Amalgam wrote: »

I passed my mouse pointer excitedly over the word only, bah..

Sorry.

Tits.

General Zod · 13-07-2010 9:38am

po020435 wrote: »

I believe Elvis Presley had a heart attack setting on the Jacks taking a dump :eek: Serious.

Ah man how dare you make fun of Elvis, he died RIP RIP RIP

Wanker Dies Getting Herself Off

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