bi

LegacyUser

hi, I just was looking for some opinions really..I met this guy several years ago, and we became closer over the last year, when we met he said he was bi, and then slowly he said he was more gay than bi, I kinda knew this as he was with a male partner and never really seen him looking at girls. Anyway I did say it to him, and he said he wasnt comfortable enough saying he was gay..which at this point I stupidly was attracted to him, and from his actions, I thought he felt the same, when I asked him, he said no sure I am gay and that was that..needless to say I was very hurt, and almost ruined our friendship.
look I know I was silly to like him, but I think he got off on the fact I did, and I am 100% sure he was flirting with me, and wanted to spend 24/7 with me. We went back to being the same way again, and him doing all the same things as before, and what annoyed me was him talking about his conquests to me, male and female..and he told me I was his best friend..imagine me his best friend telling him I had feelings for him, and a few days later he start telling me all about your sex life including women, past and present...not nice at all.

okay I have gone off my original point, I really wanted to know if a person is bi, do they generally prefer one sex more?? is it a cover up for some people, as it is easier than to say they are gay..
please dont get me wrong, I know bisexuality exists, I have a few friends who are..I just hate the fact a so called friend led me to believe they were bi, but then all of a sudden they were not anymore..and seems to play this card when it suits them..

sorry for going on...was just hoping someone could shed some light.

Chuchoter

biuser wrote: »

hi, I just was looking for some opinions really..I met this guy several years ago, and we became closer over the last year, when we met he said he was bi, and then slowly he said he was more gay than bi, I kinda knew this as he was with a male partner and never really seen him looking at girls. Anyway I did say it to him, and he said he wasnt comfortable enough saying he was gay..which at this point I stupidly was attracted to him, and from his actions, I thought he felt the same, when I asked him, he said no sure I am gay and that was that..needless to say I was very hurt, and almost ruined our friendship.
look I know I was silly to like him, but I think he got off on the fact I did, and I am 100% sure he was flirting with me, and wanted to spend 24/7 with me. We went back to being the same way again, and him doing all the same things as before, and what annoyed me was him talking about his conquests to me, male and female..and he told me I was his best friend..imagine me his best friend telling him I had feelings for him, and a few days later he start telling me all about your sex life including women, past and present...not nice at all.

okay I have gone off my original point, I really wanted to know if a person is bi, do they generally prefer one sex more?? is it a cover up for some people, as it is easier than to say they are gay..
please dont get me wrong, I know bisexuality exists, I have a few friends who are..I just hate the fact a so called friend led me to believe they were bi, but then all of a sudden they were not anymore..and seems to play this card when it suits them..

sorry for going on...was just hoping someone could shed some light.

Well you've got people like me who did the whole bi now gay later thing,then the ones who are bi to be cool and then you have real bisexuals. Most of the ones I know have a slight preference one way or the other, but obviously that doesn't mean they don't like the other gender as well, some of them are split right down the middle.

Dwn Wth Vwls

There are all sorts of people, the same with anything. There's no point trying to figure out bisexuals as a group, because they're all different.

I don't see why believing he was bi had any relevance? He was already in a relationship with someone else, and didn't express any explicit interest in you. He's entitled to sometimes be attracted to women and still not be attracted to you...

It's not easy having an unrequited crush on someone, and I sympathise, but blaming him isn't going to help you get over it.

Frei

Some people do prefer one sex over the other and some people are 50/50. I find men and women equally attractive. Some people might only be sexually attracted to women and emotionally and sexually attracted to men, and vice versa. I guess when people are coming to the realisation that they are gay it can be confusing, it is just a pity, and especially for bi men, that they are accused of being just gays in hiding, which is frustrating for those that are not.

rere

As was said before, everyone's different.
I go along with the "sexuality if fluid" belief, a few years ago I'd have said I was Bi but slightly more attracted to men, but now I feel like I'm more attracted to women (that might be my Girlfriends influence though).

But just because he's Bi and not Gay, doesn't automatically mean he's probably going to want you as more then a friend. He might just be a flirty person.

LegacyUser

op here,
I have just read some of your replies, and sorry it sounds like I was annoyed at him because he did not like me, which is not the case at all...yes it doesnt feel good, but I am not that shallow that I think, why doesnt he like me!!!
I guess there is so much more to it, that would take ages to write, things he did, things he said to me, and I want to stress throughout most of this, he was broken up with his partner...
I am glad I did ask straight out how he felt, I got my answer, well sort off, I was just told, if things were different etc etc, but that was good enough for me to back off.
I realise he didnt wish to tell me he was more gay than bi when we met, sure he still hides it to most people, and with him you would never know..
And it was a close friend who said to me that they thought he liked me as more than a friend, and I guess the more they said it the more I thought about it and asked.
He is one very confused person, and I actually feel sorry for him.

Dwn Wth Vwls: I didnt believe he was bi, he actually said he was, and told me he had been with a female in the last few years, and I found out later it wasnt true..it was years ago when he was younger.

rere: I am very curious now that you are in a relationship with a girl, would you still find men as attractive?? or are you happy enough with your girl??

Annasopra

just bumping cause there was a new reply from an unregged account

rere

biuser++ wrote: »

rere: I am very curious now that you are in a relationship with a girl, would you still find men as attractive?? or are you happy enough with your girl??

Yep I do, that's kinda the point of being Bi as opposed to Gay. And I'm more then happy with my Girlfriend, she's probably the sweetest (and hottest) person I've ever known.

Best of luck with the situation of yours.

LegacyUser

rere wrote: »

Yep I do, that's kinda the point of being Bi as opposed to Gay. And I'm more then happy with my Girlfriend, she's probably the sweetest (and hottest) person I've ever known.

Best of luck with the situation of yours.

thx for responding to me..and that is so nice what you said about your girl!!
I am trying to work everything out in my head at the moment...I got some very confused signals from him, so I am trying to deal with that..
He loves me to bits and wants to spend every moment with me, so it was hard to be around him..but thankfully those feelings dont seem to be there really anymore..
could I ask your opinions on something though, when I told him I had feelings for him, and I thought he felt something to, he just said I feel really close to you, but its missing that something, and although I could "do it" I couldnt hurt you like that, I care about you to much, and would be affriad...this was unfortunetly through text, which makes it harder to understand...and I didnt ask any more questions, as I felt kinda crap, so I left it at that...
Does this sound strange to you?? or am I reading to much into this??

Dwn Wth Vwls

I think he's saying that he cares about you and loves you as a friend, but he's not in love with you or seriously sexually attracted to you. He could go through the motions of a relationship, but it wouldn't be real and you'd both end up hurt.

LegacyUser

Hi,

yes I think you may be right, maybe read it wrong..this is all new to me, its weird being so very close to someone, and its not sexual. I am happy we can remain friends, as I know many people cant.
thx for the advise.

Dwn Wth Vwls wrote: »

I think he's saying that he cares about you and loves you as a friend, but he's not in love with you or seriously sexually attracted to you. He could go through the motions of a relationship, but it wouldn't be real and you'd both end up hurt.