Need motivation to lose weight

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm 22 years old and 21 stone in weight. For my entire life I have been a fat child. Ever since I was around 5 years old I was conscious that I was bigger than everyone around me. Generally i wasn't bullied, as I was a bit of a smart arse at school and this got me through it.

I have lost weight so many times and put it back on again that its depressing. One summer when I was 16 I had a great routine - I'd cycle into work every day, go for a jog in the evening and make sure not to over-eat. I went from around 18 stone to 15 stone in the space of 4 months. I now look back at that time as a kind of golden age for me, I was fit, happy, healthy, socially active, and even flirtatious (It goes without saying that I am indeed a virgin) Back in school though and the bad habits took over. I did no exercise that winter and weight started climbing on again. By the next summer I was the old weight (18 stone) - though by that time I had no job. So no routine. So no guiding light that could give me some motivation and self esteem.

I am desperately unhappy with my appearance, and though I have plenty of friends and an active social life, I sometimes feel like a blimp in the room. Like I'm taking up space. Getting a lift with a mate is a DISASTER if I'm sitting in the back seat, I always feel like I'm crowding their space. Furthermore, I hate impinging on people in public transport. I just feel like I'm a hopeless waste of space.

I feel so depressed about it all. I don't 'do' diets, but anytime I have lost weight has come about from organisation, routine, and structure. A weekend out in the pub would undo a whole weeks careful eating and exercise.

Honestly, skinny people whose weight is static don't understand how much damage a weekends boozing would do to me! It would undo the hard work of a whole week.

I feel like I need to get away from my friends for a time. The equivilent of a boot camp. Like getting a job in a town somewhere and devoting myself to losing all of my weight, to get down to around 14 stone or so. I feel like I just cannot loose this weight while being in the vicinity of a pub near. Its so depressing to have worked hard all week just to drown it all at the weekend. I really really really really want to lose weight, but any time I decide to make a 'life change' it usually crumbles after a few weeks of working hard during the week only to have it ruined at the weekend. Its not exactly something I can talk to my mates about. I feel like I need to cut them loose if I ever want to be a normal weight. Sometimes I get so sad and depressed by it all I think horrible things... Just to be done with it... Anyway I don't know how to describe the feeling... Its like having the urge to do something really badly, only to look down to see that you have no legs... or something...

By the by - I can't drink spirits as it makes me sick, wine just looks silly to drink in a pub, and I'm not going tee total either.

Sorry for the ramble. I just feel so lost tonight. I don't know why.

LegacyUser

I feel so depressed about it all. I don't 'do' diets, but anytime I have lost weight has come about from organisation, routine, and structure. A weekend out in the pub would undo a whole weeks careful eating and exercise.

Honestly, skinny people whose weight is static don't understand how much damage a weekends boozing would do to me! It would undo the hard work of a whole week.

I feel like I need to get away from my friends for a time. The equivilent of a boot camp. Like getting a job in a town somewhere and devoting myself to losing all of my weight, to get down to around 14 stone or so. I feel like I just cannot loose this weight while being in the vicinity of a pub near.

While its all very well and good losing weight and fair play to you for losing it in the past, the hardest part (as you've found) is keeping it off...but part of the ability of being able to keep weight off is being able to be around your temptations/cravings and not cave into them, it takes willpower theres no two ways about it, and you'll need this willpower for the rest of your life if you really want to keep the weight off.

I feel like I need to get away from my friends for a time. The equivilent of a boot camp. Like getting a job in a town somewhere and devoting myself to losing all of my weight, to get down to around 14 stone or so. I feel like I just cannot loose this weight while being in the vicinity of a pub near. Its so depressing to have worked hard all week just to drown it all at the weekend. I really really really really want to lose weight, but any time I decide to make a 'life change' it usually crumbles after a few weeks of working hard during the week only to have it ruined at the weekend.

But the thing is the pub temptation is ALWAYS going to be there, theres always going to be a pub near you, if you realistically want to lose weight and keep it off well then theres no two ways about it, you're going to have to learn to deal with it now, learn to cut down on your drinking, learn to pace yourself, cutting your friends out of your life is not the answer, THEY don't force you to drink, THEY don't make you spend the weekend boozing, ultimately its YOUR choice to "undo your hard work" by drinking. Its all about moderation YOU have to learn how to face your temptations and have the willpower not to undo all your hard work, like you said its a "lifechange"..but you're going to have to have this willpower for the rest of your life if you're to have any chance of keeping the weight you lose off.

Jimmy Bottlehead

If you know alcohol messes everything up for you, drop it and stop whining. You wanna get to a respectable weight? Then man up and make the sacrifices.

Nobody else will lose this for you, you're the one stuck in that unsightly body and thus are the only or who can carve it into something far better.

Go to the fitness forum on here, post up your honest days diet, exercise if any, and do what they tell you. I've never drank but I'd wager people who do prefer to lay off the drink so they can look good.

Grawns

You could try these guys http://www.motivation.ie/. or weightwatchers. Exercise isn't the key to losing weight, it just keeps you healthy and enables you to burn and eat more calories but changing your diet habits is. Personally I always go with atkins and good power walks if I need to slim down. (post baby or indulgent holiday.) Again personally, I would never sacrifice alcohol for looking good ( it's too nice ) but I wouldn't let it make me fat either. Maybe try drinking low calorie beer and always have a glass of water between drinks.

Focusing on your weight can be highly depressing. Changes in the downward direction are slower than most people know and every day watching the scales only to be rewarded with minute changes in numbers is horrifically soul destroying.

Instead focus on the rest of your life and getting involved in doing things that will keep your mind off it, and will keep you out of the pub. There is life outside the pub and if life in the pub is all your mates are into then it is time to find new friends. Not to cut the old ones out of your life entirely of course, but to spend less time with those and more with new ones.

Also wine in the pub does not look bad. Quite the opposite and in fact despite the high prices pubs charge for a bottle, it usually still works out cheaper than beers to get one big bottle and a glass and keep it for the night.

Grawns

Special offer at motivation.ie Me loves a bargain and would give this to my obese sister if it wouldn't devestate her. Thinking about it you should give your friends a chance to be supportive, maybe they will surprise you.

Handsome Bob

I have great sympathy for your situation because I know exactly what you mean about the weekend undoing a good week's work. Drinking can lead to takeaways and it's just pretty depressing. It's something I haven't exactly mastered myself even though I have lost a few stone and kept it off.

The important thing is that you get back on the wagon so to speak, even if you do have a bad weekend. As someone already said, it takes great willpower. Oh you put a few pounds back on over the weekend after spending the week losing them? Well all you can do is get your head down, lose those pounds again and this time learn from your mistake. You don't *have* to drink alcohol when you are in the pub. I know it may be a bit embarassing but you could make it clear to your mates how hard you are trying and to not tease you or wind you up about not drinking. Some people just need things spelt out to them because they just can't fathom why someone would not be drinking. I've had mates aggressively push pint bottles into my hand and say "It's the ****ing weekend." so yeah, I think it's important that you tell your mates that you are trying to lose weight.

Esoteric_

I really feel for you, OP.

I'm still overweight now but over the last 10 weeks I have lost over 3 and a half stone, mostly down to exercising. I can show you a before and after if you'd like, it might motivate you? I went from a size 22+ to a comfortable 16 and while I still need to lose more, it feels amazing being able to enjoy exercise and I don't take up space.

Anyway, with the drink - vodka and diet coke or vodka and lime has about 30 calories in it, if even that. So stick to the vodka if you're on a night out. that's what I do. I still have my weekly nights out and get hammered but I don't waste too many of my daily calories because I'm drinking vodka.


With the weight itself - exercise, exercise, exercise. Seriously, it's the best way to shift it. Try to stick to a set amount of meals per day (some people do the standard 3, some people do 5 small meals, so whichever suits you best) and no snacking! I read something in a book once that when I stick to, really helps. "Don't eat until you're full. Eat until you're no longer hungry." If you do this, you'll be surprised at how much you reduce your calorie intake. You also won't feel sluggish from having a full stomach.

Hun, I know how difficult it is, but you CAN do it.

Dravokivich

The best way to get over this, as you've done before is cardio work (cycling / walking / running).

That "golden age" of yours, you were 16, sure your only 22 now. You've got a bit more to work through this time round, but you have shown to yourself you've been able to work it out before.

What you need to do also, is stay out of that pub. Make sure you only have enough money on you for what you need to be doing, leave the ATM Card at home. If your mates give you a call for some scoops, just mention you've a bill coming up or you're putting some money aside for something...

WellyJ

I have dropped from 22 stone to 13 and a half stone since last September through clean eating Monday to Saturday and weight training 3 times a week, no boring cardio.

And I still go out most Saturday nights and get drunk. Be sensible on what you drink when you are out. Have 2-3 pints at a max and then switch to a clear spirit (vodka/gin/bacardi) with a sugarfree mixer. I always have something as a cheat meal then on Sundays. Chinese/Pizza/Whatever.

There is no excuse for you not to be able to do this, I used to create all kinds of excuses but in the end the only thing stopping me was fear of failure.

Just do it.

jessiejam

Op

Its probably not down to the drinking at all.
Its most likely down to what your eating when you are eating it and how active you are.
If you wrote down exactly what you are eating on a daily basis, you would be shocked at the stuff you can put away without even realising it. Going to the cupboard and swallowing a mini twix or 2:o. Sugars in the coffee/tea. Processed foods etc.

Its more often than not 80% diet 20% exercise.
Be completely honest with yourself when you write it down. Always have healthy snacks to hand. Raw carrot sticks, Apples, bananas, grapes etc.

Whats your daily diet like?
You've lost the weight before so you can do it again!

mikemac

jessiejam wrote: »

Its more often than not 80% diet 20% exercise.

I'd agree too.
OP, you're getting good advice here.

But I mean it in the nicest possible way but you need a kick in the ass!
This isn't me attacking you but it needs to be you to get up and take action.

You know exactly what to do, you've done it before and can do it again but you're just not doing it.
So read the posts here and especially from Jimmy Bottlehead.

Maybe some tough love is required from your friends