Would you accept your son/daughter being gay?

cynder

Thaedydal wrote: »

Gay sex is not just about anal sex and many people both male and female enjoy receiving anal penetration and it doesn't make them gay.

You don't have to even mention anal sex, it is as simple as some people grow up to like people who are a different gender to themselves, some like the same gender as themsevles and some like both.

As if sex doesnt have anything to do with it.....

eightyfish

grindelwald wrote: »

At age 3 and 5 i tell them it is yucky, at age 8-10 i will tell them each to their own.

Yeah but what you tell them when they are young has an impact. Growing up being told homosexaulity is "yucky" will have an affect on attitudes later in life at 14/15 etc. Every time a young kid who's told this sees gays in day-to-day life the immediate reaction is going to be one of moderate disgust.

grindelwald wrote: »

I hear many parents telling their girls that its yucky kissing boys (ages 3-6).
As i hear parents of boys telling them its yucky kissing girls (ages 3 - 6) .

Yeah but you're making a distinction. It's okay to for a boy and girl to kiss but it's yucky if it's two gay people.

grindelwald wrote: »

As if sex doesnt have anything to do with it.....

Everybody has sex. Good times.

ynul31f47k6b59

grindelwald wrote: »

At age 3 and 5 i tell them it is yucky, at age 8-10 i will tell them each to their own.

I hear many parents telling their girls that its yucky kissing boys (ages 3-6).

As i hear parents of boys telling them its yucky kissing girls (ages 3 - 6) .

Normally the phrase goes ' you didn't kiss him/her that's yucky, err Gross' and then tickles the child.

I'm sorry, but what you tell a child between the ages of 3 and 5 is much more important than what you tell them between the ages of 8 and 10. I understand that you have your own opinions, but I really think that it's a bit hypocritical to bring up a child for 8 years with one opinion, then suddenly change your stance and say "oh, actually, no - each to their own." Couldn't we just start saying that at an early age?

Believe it or not, you can't turn a child gay by letting them make up their own mind from an early age. When my son was 2 he carried a handbag everywhere - I certainly wasn't of the opinion that he was gay - he was just copying me.

I'm not arguing, and I do understand that everyone has their own opinion, but I feel that our children will not respect us if we chop and change like that.

cynder

eightyfish wrote: »

Yeah but what you tell them when they are young has an impact. Growing up being told homosexaulity is "yucky" will have an affect on attitudes later in life at 14/15 etc. Every time a young kid who's told this sees gays in day-to-day life the immediate reaction is going to be one of moderate disgust.



Yeah but you're making a distinction. It's okay to for a boy and girl to kiss but it's yucky if it's two gay people.



Everybody has sex. Good times.

Ok my young lady is 10 she was told the same as the boys, she knows 1 gay young lady (as i do) and is doesn't bother he in the world, this young lady is really nice and really sweet. My daughter thinks is kinda funny when she says she is a lesbo. she doesn't have an issue with.

I have an issue with the whole gay thing but it doesn't stop me liking the girl for who she is and that what i told my daughter, i said its doesn't matter if you dont like the idea of gays/lesbos but you can still be friends with them, so where is her hate and prejudice, there is none.

Just because i dont agree with it doesn't mean that i dont accept it as that persons way of life, i will never hate her or condemn her. in fact i asked her about it and she told me how she felt, i told her i found the whole thing weird but glad she had found happiness.

My daughter shows no disgust towards this girl.

Demonique

sdonn wrote: »

I'm a bigot

Fixed your post for ya

cynder

Channing Tart Winery wrote: »

I'm sorry, but what you tell a child between the ages of 3 and 5 is much more important than what you tell them between the ages of 8 and 10. I understand that you have your own opinions, but I really think that it's a bit hypocritical to bring up a child for 8 years with one opinion, then suddenly change your stance and say "oh, actually, no - each to their own." Couldn't we just start saying that at an early age?

Believe it or not, you can't turn a child gay by letting them make up their own mind from an early age. When my son was 2 he carried a handbag everywhere - I certainly wasn't of the opinion that he was gay - he was just copying me.

I'm not arguing, and I do understand that everyone has their own opinion, but I feel that our children will not respect us if we chop and change like that.

I can see where your coming from, but its more than that at age 3-6 they understand less detail than what they do at 8, you can get right down to the nitty gritty with an 8 year old, but not with a 3 year old.

Look it worked with my 10 year old daughter so i must be doing something right and just to say my lads play with girls toys also puts on girls shoes and makeup, not a hope will i let them do that at 8.

eightyfish

grindelwald wrote: »

My daughter shows no digust towards this girl.

That's good. Boys are much crueller than girls, though, in the school environment. But I take your point.

Max Power1

grindelwald wrote: »

Just because i find being gay odd and not normal does not and will never mean that my kids will have a closed minded upbringing, i teach them to question everything, especially religion. They will be the makers of their own futures, after they turn 16 they walk the road they choose. I will be there, whatever they decide.

You judge me JUST because i have views on gays, so you think im a closed minded person, there is much more to life than it revolving around gay rights.................

Hello, hello.

1960 called, they want their opinions and viewpoints back!

ynul31f47k6b59

grindelwald wrote: »

I can see where your coming from, but its more than that at age 3-6 they understand less detail than what they do at 8, you can get right down to the nitty gritty with an 8 year old, but not with a 3 year old.

Look it worked with my 10 year old daughter so i must be doing something right and just to say my lads play with girls toys also puts on girls shoes and makeup, not a hope will i let them do that at 8.

I understand where you're coming from too, and I am glad that your daughter has formed her own opinions, and is accepting. That is all.

cynder

eightyfish wrote: »

That's good. Boys are much crueller than girls, though, in the school environment. But I take your point.

I will make sure my boys bully no one, and to accept people for who they are, like i did with my young lady.

Demonique

The Corinthian wrote: »

As long as he finds a way to produce grandchildren for me.

Have you ever considered the fact that your children may not want to produce grandchildren for you? Not everyone wants kids

Nevyn

Demonique wrote: »

Fixed your post for ya

Demonique we expect a better level of discourse in this forum then your post above.

KittyeeTrix

My 13 and 16 year old lads respond to everything on TV as being gay!!! always said in teenage jest but still not right...........

I've said to them that this is not funny or right but it is understandable as they haven't yet developed their brains fully enough yet to understand that to be gay is nothing to be laughed at or to be offended/disgusted by.............

I've told them that unbeknownst to them that there exists a strong possibility that some of their peers are most likely gay and that it is because of their ridiculous comments that many gay people don't feel comfrotable to come out for fear of ridicule and social exclusion by their friends.

I even brought up the subject of a friend of my 16 year old son who I strongly suspect is gay and asked my son would he be offended when the lad down the line opens up to being gay??? He said he wouldn't be bothered at all at which point I told him then to reconsider his teenage/silly reactions as it would definitely be affective for his friend.

He said he had never thought of it in this way and said that he could see how it would not be nice or fair to his friend even though he wasn't deliberately trying to be malicious to gay people....

If a teenage lad can get the concept of how his actions and views affect others around him in 5 minutes, I don't see how grown adults with children can't:(

cynder

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

My 13 and 16 year old lads respond to everything on TV as being gay!!! always said in teenage jest but still not right...........

I've said to them that this is not funny or right but it is understandable as they haven't yet developed their brains fully enough yet to understand that to be gay is nothing to be laughed at or to be offended/disgusted by.............

I've told them that unbeknownst to them that there exists a strong possibility that some of their peers are most likely gay and that it is because of their ridiculous comments that many gay people don't feel comfrotable to come out for fear of ridicule and social exclusion by their friends.

I even brought up the subject of a friend of my 16 year old son who I strongly suspect is gay and asked my son would he be offended when the lad down the line opens up to being gay??? He said he wouldn't be bothered at all at which point I told him then to reconsider his teenage/silly reactions as it would definitely be affective for his friend.

He said he had never thought of it in this way and said that he could see how it would not be nice or fair to his friend even though he wasn't deliberately trying to be malicious to gay people....

If a teenage lad can get the concept of how his actions and views affect others around him in 5 minutes, I don't see how grown adults with children can't:(

MY 10 year old doesn't act like your sons because at 10 she knows better than to make such remarks, either in jest or maliciously. So i dont know why parents with such a broad open minds cant teach their kids to have do same, why wait until they are 16 to explain it. At 16 they really should know better! 13 year old should know better too.


So as far as I'm concerned you should have spent that 5 mins with him years ago rather than think your big for putting your son in his place at 16 and bragging about it now. My turn to brag my 'then 9 year old' had the concept of how her actions and views affect others around her. So big clap to you that you managed that when he was 16....

Feu

Hello, i've not posted in this forum before, but when i read through i felt i wanted to contribute/raise a query, as per question 3 by the OP.

lonelyguy wrote: »

Hi!
Would you accept your son/daughter being gay?
Would you find it hard or easy?
Would you prefere your child to be straight?

1. of course.

2. i would be happy they were able to tell me, and probably smugly feel i had done something right as a parent etc, but i suppose it could be hard if for some reason like, if they themselves had difficulty with it, or other people were not accepting. If they're happy i'm happy.

3. I want my child to be happy, stating a preference for gay or straight seems so mad to me! So many responses on this thread have been, oh yes, i want my child to be happy, they are wonderful whatever they are, i love them unconditionally, but i would prefer them to be straight

This appears to stem from an anxiety that they will have a harder life if they are gay. But in some ways this seems to be hypocritical to me, and in a way perpetuates the idea, that they will have problems, it will be hard to come out, people will not accept it, be wary of who you are, and who you tell. Which, frankly stinks! I realise this has been many many people's experiences, but equally many people have had positive experiences.I have friends who were worried about coming out to me 5 years ago, when i already knew [in my head:)]. But i shudder to think that will always be the way people will feel. I hope it will be less of an issue in the future. But perhaps i am misunderstanding people's posts?

I'm not trying to flame, and if it's too off topic that's fine : D but i suppose i'm just wondering at people thinking this will still be the prevailing attitude in say 10-20 years. 10-20 years ago we didn't have divorce here, unmarried mothers were still a scandal, you know? I just think people will move with the times a bit more. My folks are in their 60s now, and have moved so far along with the times, sometimes i can't believe it! They are so accepting and welcoming of any of my gay friends/couples, totally accept and encourage that people live together/have children before marriage [which they would not have accepted even 10 years ago], i just think if they can shift, can't other people? [am i super naive, or super optimistic?]

*And while i REALLY don't agree with the dissenting voices, one more particularly, i kind of have to perversely admire them coming out [ha ha] and telling us what they think, knowing full well the backlash they would and did get. There's probably still a sizeable minority that think this way, and tbh it's useful to have an insight into their thought process! Where there is one. [have i answered my own question by acknowledging them?]

SerialComplaint

grindelwald wrote: »

I not lying.


But since were on the subject

I bet at least 99% of parents on here lie to their kids, i Bet at least 99% of Christians lie to their children.

Hand up who lies to their kids!
.

You might want to go back and read my post again. I wasn't talking about adults lying to children. I was talking about how you are creating an environment where your children may well feel obliged to lie to you in the future. Is that what you really want?

grindelwald wrote: »

As if sex doesnt have anything to do with it.....

Just so I'm clear, if a gay couple don't indulge in anal sex, and only indulge in oral or non-penetrative sex, do you still have a problem with their sexual preferences?

grindelwald wrote: »

Ok my young lady is 10 she was told the same as the boys, she knows 1 gay young lady (as i do) and is doesn't bother he in the world, this young lady is really nice and really sweet. My daughter thinks is kinda funny when she says she is a lesbo. she doesn't have an issue with.

I have an issue with the whole gay thing but it doesn't stop me liking the girl for who she is and that what i told my daughter, i said its doesn't matter if you dont like the idea of gays/lesbos but you can still be friends with them, so where is her hate and prejudice, there is none.

Just because i dont agree with it doesn't mean that i dont accept it as that persons way of life, i will never hate her or condemn her. in fact i asked her about it and she told me how she felt, i told her i found the whole thing weird but glad she had found happiness.

My daughter shows no disgust towards this girl.

Did she pick up the 'lesbo' term from you? Nice....

grindelwald

grindelwald wrote: »

MY 10 year old doesn't act like your sons because at 10 she knows better than to make such remarks, either in jest or maliciously. So i dont know why parents with such a broad open minds cant teach their kids to have do same, why wait until they are 16 to explain it. At 16 they really should know better! 13 year old should know better too.


So as far as I'm concerned you should have spent that 5 mins with him years ago rather than think your big for putting your son in his place at 16 and bragging about it now. My turn to brag my 'then 9 year old' had the concept of how her actions and views affect others around her. So big clap to you that you managed that when he was 16....

lol!

grindelwald wrote: »

My daughter thinks is kinda funny when she says she is a lesbo.

cynder

SerialComplaint wrote: »

Did she pick up the 'lesbo' term from you? Nice....

NO she did not pick it up from me, its her term, just like Brit for British, i use the term gay, she knows every term that is used.

So don't jump to conclusions.

Seems like there are a lot of mean spirited people out there who cant except people have other views than what they have. I take people as i find them, not because they are/ are not gay, think gay rights all the way or no gay rights at all, believe there is a god or don't believe there is a god, or are protestant or catholic would ye ever get a life. Accept people are different they don't have to share your views.......

Would ye be so attentive if this was about travellers and i said i didn't like them.....In fact i don't have any friends for the T.C. and never will. now you can jump down my throat for that one too Oh and yes i do stop my kids from interacting with travellers.

I don't stop them from interacting with gays.

Bring on the P.C. brigade....

cynder

SerialComplaint wrote: »

I was talking about how you are creating an environment where your children may well feel obliged to lie to you in the future. Is that what you really want?

Just so I'm clear, if a gay couple don't indulge in anal sex, and only indulge in oral or non-penetrative sex, do you still have a problem with their sexual preferences?



....

All kids lie, some lie that they didn't kill little Jamie, some lie that they didn't bully phoebe, some lie to get out of trouble , some lie to get people into trouble. Even adults lie its a fact of life. The politicians are great liars, I did not have sexual relations with monica... (bill clinton). Everyone lies!

You think that just because your open minded as you put it that your kids aren't going to lie to you............ its human nature.....

Kids are going to lie regardless....

As for the sex bit i don't like thinking about it, so will refrain from answering that. yuck.....

KittyeeTrix

grindelwald wrote: »

MY 10 year old doesn't act like your sons because at 10 she knows better than to make such remarks, either in jest or maliciously. So i dont know why parents with such a broad open minds cant teach their kids to have do same, why wait until they are 16 to explain it. At 16 they really should know better! 13 year old should know better too.


So as far as I'm concerned you should have spent that 5 mins with him years ago rather than think your big for putting your son in his place at 16 and bragging about it now. My turn to brag my 'then 9 year old' had the concept of how her actions and views affect others around her. So big clap to you that you managed that when he was 16....

Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhh:eek:

I was not bragging as you put it. Can only speak from my own point of view that my 8yr old boy and 11 yr old girl haven't carried on like this in relation to gays so I can only assume it is a silly teenage phase where young guys don't realise the harm involved in their actions. I have no doubt that my youngest son will also go thru this moronic phase when he too is a teenager and will again have a heart to heart with him about the unnecessary damage he could be causing someone even if only in stupid teenage jest...

I've always spoken open and honestly with my children regarding all the different shapes and views of the human race. This would include transgender, obese, homosexual, disabled, ignorant etc.

As for them knowing better, I will agree with you but alas teenage boys can be morons even when taught better than this. They however can grow and develop still with proper, educated, empathetic guidance!!!

From what I can see, they've realised their error and have become far less ignorant on the matter and so will be able to move on and in time pass on this knowledge to their own children. I believe as a parent I have done my job correctly as they've never heard the term "yuck" and "gay" in the same sentence other than to suggest that seeing a boy kiss a boy or a girl kiss a girl as being "yuck" is really not cool:(

CK2010

I wouldnt care in the slightest if my daughter was gay. as long as shes happy. id probably admire her more for telling me, not necessarily for being gay but for being able to be open about it.

i think that being gay does not necessarily equate to extra hardship like people seem to think, yes you might get more criticism or judgement than a straight couple might, but straight couples have their own pressures and hardship too. no matter what kind of relationship they will have problems, and being in a gay relationship will bring on different problems, such as judgement, homophobia,things like that, but i think its just a different problem as oppose to an extra problem.

i think id rather my child be in a happy and loving relationship that was judged than be in an unhappy one that was accepted/not judged. if that makes sense? i didnt think its as big an issue as it used to be, maybe i was just naive or its only im my own circle of friends that its not an issue, because there seems to be quite a bit of homophobia alive and well on this thread. and the more homophobia within society, the more gay people will hide their sexuality and the more it will appear 'odd' for someone to be or rather actually admit to being gay, and the cycle will continue.

i dont know why people are so concerned with who somebody else loves, as long as its not your husband or wife they love then it shouldnt have an impact on you!

as far as grandkids are concerned, its her decision whether she wants them or not, gay or otherwise. its not up to me to tell her what her family should consist of, if she wants it to just be her and her partner then i dont see why i should try to push a baby on them just so i can play granny and spoil it rotten every weekend and then send it back to them hyped up on ice cream- thats no reason to have a child and i cant get my head around people insisting on their child having a baby just so they can be a granny.

Max Power1

grindelwald wrote: »

NO she did not pick it up from me, its her term, just like Brit for British, i use the term gay, she knows every term that is used.

So don't jump to conclusions.

Seems like there are a lot of mean spirited people out there who cant except people have other views than what they have. I take people as i find them, not because they are/ are not gay, think gay rights all the way or no gay rights at all, believe there is a god or don't believe there is a god, or are protestant or catholic would ye ever get a life. Accept people are different they don't have to share your views.......

Would ye be so attentive if this was about travellers and i said i didn't like them.....In fact i don't have any friends for the T.C. and never will. now you can jump down my throat for that one too Oh and yes i do stop my kids from interacting with travellers.

I don't stop them from interacting with gays.

Bring on the P.C. brigade....

I despise the PC brigade. My anti gay pride march thread in R&R was locked because of them.

I also would not allow children of mine to mix with the travelling community. I will never have anything to do with them. Many areas in my locality are destroyed by their littering and they rob many houses in my locality also (including mine).

I am not PC, I just have serious problems with people having issues with gay people. It is so backwards its not funny. (incidentally I am not gay, if its relevant)

cynder

Max Power1 wrote: »

I despise the PC brigade. My anti gay pride march thread in R&R was locked because of them.

I also would not allow children of mine to mix with the travelling community. I will never have anything to do with them. Many areas in my locality are destroyed by their littering and they rob many houses in my locality also (including mine).

I am not PC, I just have serious problems with people having issues with gay people. It is so backwards its not funny. (incidentally I am not gay, if its relevant)

Why not equal rights for allllllllllllll


yep we like gays ( i do have friends who are gay) , but not travellers, what about a gay traveller?

sorry still a nope for me on that one.

Nevyn

Many travellers will tell you there is no such thing as a gay travellers.
They are not tolerated in thier community and many have over the years left the country.

KittyeeTrix

grindelwald wrote: »

Why not equal rights for allllllllllllll


yep we like gays ( i do have friends who are gay) , but not travellers, what about a gay travellers?

sorry still a nope for me on that one.

I don't think the issue is whether or not we like individuals who are gay but rather do we think it is wrong to be gay!!

I would know gay people who I cannot stand because of their personality but not because they are gay

also grindelwald, I've read back over your posts and don't think I will be taking your advice from here in about talking to my kids and their view of the world esp after reading that you have told your 5 yr old that gay is wrong and straight is right!!

I understand it is your opinion and you are well entitled to it but it is not a view I subscribe to as I think it could be harmful in the longer term. We will therefore have to agree to disagree on this matter

CK2010

Thaedydal wrote: »

Many travellers will tell you there is no such thing as a gay travellers.
They are not tolerated in thier community and many have over the years left the country.

didnt know that, you learn something new every day! is it that gay people are not tolerated at all by the community or not tolerated within the community? like not in my own back yard type thing?

Max Power1

grindelwald wrote: »

Why not equal rights for allllllllllllll


yep we like gays ( i do have friends who are gay) , but not travellers, what about a gay travellers?

sorry still a nope for me on that one.

My dislike of travellers is based on fact - not going to generalise further than what I have done; I dont want to be banned. However my experience of the Travellers brings my opinion.

Homosexuality is not a person - just a sexual orientation. This orientation is present among all species (indeed some species of swans exist where homosexual couples raise stronger offspring, but thats a whole other discussion) and should not be described as "wrong" to a child.

I think in 15-20 years time, this will not be acceptable, similar to how its is now unnacceptable to teach a child that all colored people are lesser to them, whereas discrimination against foreigners was acceptable 15-20 years ago.

efb

Thaedydal wrote: »

Many travellers will tell you there is no such thing as a gay travellers.
They are not tolerated in thier community and many have over the years left the country.

The Traveller Movement had a presence at Pride this year. And Pavee point was supporting it afaik

cynder

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

. We will therefore have to agree to disagree on this matter

Agree to disagree it is...

cynder

Max Power1 wrote: »

I think in 15-20 years time, this will not be acceptable, similar to how its is now unnacceptable to teach a child that all colored people are lesser to them, whereas discrimination against foreigners was acceptable 15-20 years ago.

30 years ago my dad was like victor meldrew but i never ever in 30 years have felt hatred towards blacks or ever felt they were lesser than me, dad did have his rants but that was dad. I cant see that i will ever change my view on the whole gay thing. I still treat gays like equals i havent met one that i havent got on with.

As in an earlier post agree to disagree... that's life....cant win every battle, i didn't write on here to win people over to my view point, i stated it as i see it... i think everyone is entitled to their opinion.


* just because i have a difference of opinion on this topic i might agree with you on a different one.:)