Depression, it always comes back, how do people deal with it?

kumate_champ07

I had two friends take their own life in the space of a few weeks during this year, Ive talked to them about their illnesses. one thing that is consistent is that it doesnt go away, it might get better for a while but it always comes back.

how can people deal with this realisation? one friend had her illness since around age 12 and only made it to her early 20's, the other was my age and had it prob as long as me, actually it seems to develop around that age(12) tho I had problems before that too


medication doesnt really help, it covers some of the symptoms but also takes away some good things too. waking up groggy every morning, sweating easily, night binges, I even get sunburn worse because of the meds.

there is no chance of switching to something else as Ive tried them all, in fact thats about as much treatment as Ive got. Ive always wondered how long it takes for HSE psychiatrists to become indifferent/ice cold. 5min meeting and then a prescription with a follow up 6weeks later, the meds cost over 100euro a week. how much do these doctors get paid to write prescriptions? They basically put me on a different med untill symptoms went away but side effects would appear, but sure thats how it works.

Is there any hope?

George Orwell 1982

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I had two friends take their own life in the space of a few weeks during this year, Ive talked to them about their illnesses. one thing that is consistent is that it doesnt go away, it might get better for a while but it always comes back.

.....

Is there any hope?

I suspect you are feeling quite hopeless now. Lots of people do recover from depression and live full lives. Some people it just drags on and on. If your current treatment isn't working then you should talk to your doc about changing it. I presume you have tried CBT?

kumate_champ07

Ive tried every med ,effexor with seroquel or zyprexa is all I respond too, Ive been on them for 3 years now but suffered for more than 14years(more than half my life) so its been ongoing a while now.

I was told by the last doctor that CBT prob wouldnt be suitable for me, I only spoke to him one time tho and I dont think he read my records properly because he mentioned things that were different in my records and I had to correct him

George Orwell 1982

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

Ive tried every med ,effexor with seroquel or zyprexa is all I respond too, Ive been on them for 3 years now but suffered for more than 14years(more than half my life) so its been ongoing a while now.

I was told by the last doctor that CBT prob wouldnt be suitable for me, I only spoke to him one time tho and I dont think he read my records properly because he mentioned things that were different in my records and I had to correct him

Well if you haven't tried CBT at all then you should talk to your doc again about it. Especially if the meds aren't working too well.

irishh_bob

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I had two friends take their own life in the space of a few weeks during this year, Ive talked to them about their illnesses. one thing that is consistent is that it doesnt go away, it might get better for a while but it always comes back.

how can people deal with this realisation? one friend had her illness since around age 12 and only made it to her early 20's, the other was my age and had it prob as long as me, actually it seems to develop around that age(12) tho I had problems before that too


medication doesnt really help, it covers some of the symptoms but also takes away some good things too. waking up groggy every morning, sweating easily, night binges, I even get sunburn worse because of the meds.

there is no chance of switching to something else as Ive tried them all, in fact thats about as much treatment as Ive got. Ive always wondered how long it takes for HSE psychiatrists to become indifferent/ice cold. 5min meeting and then a prescription with a follow up 6weeks later, the meds cost over 100euro a week. how much do these doctors get paid to write prescriptions? They basically put me on a different med untill symptoms went away but side effects would appear, but sure thats how it works.

Is there any hope?

being a cold fish is an integral part of being a doctor and your absolutley correct , once depression enters your life , it never really leaves , one thing i would add is that depression never appears out of thin air , it is caused my some event on your life or SOMEONE

MUSEIST

My depresion does always seem to come back. Being going throught it since about 13/14 but it seems to come and go, its not always bad. I have tried CBT but I have to say it did very little for me, if anything it made me feel a little bit worse as I felt a lot of shame about myself admitting certain things to the psychologist. I have heard that cbt can do wonders for some people, you should give it a try.

Odysseus

Whilst CBT is quite a popular model especially within the medical community, there are plently of other psychotherapeutic modalities out there that people can try if they found CBT didn't do it for them.

mackeminexile

OP, the best answer I can give you is yes, there is always hope. While I personally haven't suffered from this awful illness, my girlfriend and mother both do.

Obviously I'm very close to my gf and I've seen the first manifestation of depression right through to today. The first 2 times she was admitted to hospital it was, as you said, just meds to combat the depression. Last time she started to see a fantastic doctor who has really made a difference. She has relapsed and is now on Lithium for the first time BUT is starting to become her 'old' self. Its a process and from experience I can only think that the best way is to learn as much about depression, its causes and most importantly how it affects you personally. Learn your triggers and try to surround yourself with people who can help you spot them. People you trust enough to give you the right advice in terms of seeking help.

Stick with it, maybe try to get on a programme. I know there are some at St Pats in Dublin that are good (or have been for the missus). As I said, there is always hope, the effects will lessen and you will have good periods which will increase the better you get.

ashblag

Hi Op
Really sorry to hear about your friends.
As last post says you have to have hope.... Try to think about the positives in your life (i know this can be hard trust me) Dont be too hard on yourself either..Depression is a horrible illness.
I personnally dont know when a bad episode is going to occurr exactly but I've learned to recognise some of the signs and know when to get more help, or tell some one I trust look I'm feeling low, Just to have some-one watch out for me. I'm 28now was diagnosed at 15 years old and it's been a rollercoaster ride.

Hold on in there OP. Use the threads here on boards too if only to see there are a lot of others in the same boat.

kumate_champ07

I have plenty of positives but I cant get excited about them, I cant get excited about much at all. I try to pretend Im not down but its hard to keep hiding it.

George Orwell 1982

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I have plenty of positives but I cant get excited about them, I cant get excited about much at all. I try to pretend Im not down but its hard to keep hiding it.

Sounds like you feel stuck in depression. Communicate all this to your doctor next time you see him and ask him to outline all the options available to you. You haven't even tried psychotherapy yet which has been shown to be as effective as anti depressants in treating depression. So there is definitely still hope.

ashblag

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I have plenty of positives but I cant get excited about them, I cant get excited about much at all. I try to pretend Im not down but its hard to keep hiding it.

I can relate to that OP. I would go back to your doc ask for a referral to a decent specalist. Really do empathise with you, It's really draining pretending all is ok.

CamperMan

I find to lift me out of depression I need stimulation, I find that by doing a 5 to 7 mile walk each and evry day, but here in Ireland, I find that difficult to do with lack of footpaths, inconsiderate drivers, and dogs running out from peoples gardends at you.

Living on the edge of a town in the UK got me out of the depreesion many a time, but coming back to Ireland drags me down through lack of exercise and mental stimulation.

also, since the downturn, it's got worse, no work, no dosh, zero and nothing to do each day when your stuck in the country

HereIGo

My daughter, aged 23, suffers from depression. She is on medication at the moment which is good and makes her feel better about things. When she is off medication she goes down again. I feel that she is suffering an awful lot and putting up a good face a lot of the time. I find it hard to talk to her, maybe she prefers it that way. I would like if anyone could tell me what to say or do or not to say or do that would be helpful to her.

kumate_champ07

ashblag wrote: »

I can relate to that OP. I would go back to your doc ask for a referral to a decent specalist. Really do empathise with you, It's really draining pretending all is ok.

well I was referred to a doc in St James and he saw me one time, he sent me some stuff in the mail, theres free counseling I can go to, I'm just not sure how that might help, it could just be some students getting a bit of experience.
I will head to it soon tho to check it out. he was a specialist but didnt give me a diagnosis. the problem is that it comes and goes, when I saw him I was doing ok.

I went thru the kildare psych services for 3 years, terrible system.
one doc said I was bipolar, then the next doc said I wasnt. I very rarely got to see the same person more that 2 times in a row and theres usually a space of 6 or more weeks between those 5 min sessions.

my Gp gives me prescriptions now, he tells me exercise and a routine will help. I exercise a lot but have problems keeping a routine going for very long, it usually changes every 2-4 weeks.

I have problems that have been with me since childhood, I dont know who can help with them. I cant afford to see a professional.

I also hate what society has become.

kumate_champ07

HereIGo wrote: »

My daughter, aged 23, suffers from depression. She is on medication at the moment which is good and makes her feel better about things. When she is off medication she goes down again. I feel that she is suffering an awful lot and putting up a good face a lot of the time. I find it hard to talk to her, maybe she prefers it that way. I would like if anyone could tell me what to say or do or not to say or do that would be helpful to her.

dont ever give up trying to start up conversation with her. It took me a long time to fix things with my parents, they are prob the only reason I wouldnt commit suicide, I couldnt do that to my mother after everything she has been thru

ashblag

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

well I was referred to a doc in St James and he saw me one time, he sent me some stuff in the mail, theres free counseling I can go to, I'm just not sure how that might help, it could just be some students getting a bit of experience.
I will head to it soon tho to check it out. he was a specialist but didnt give me a diagnosis. the problem is that it comes and goes, when I saw him I was doing ok.

I went thru the kildare psych services for 3 years, terrible system.
one doc said I was bipolar, then the next doc said I wasnt. I very rarely got to see the same person more that 2 times in a row and theres usually a space of 6 or more weeks between those 5 min sessions.

my Gp gives me prescriptions now, he tells me exercise and a routine will help. I exercise a lot but have problems keeping a routine going for very long, it usually changes every 2-4 weeks.

I have problems that have been with me since childhood, I dont know who can help with them. I cant afford to see a professional.

I also hate what society has become.

Go to the councelling sessions, you might get some good out of it kumate_champ07..... Try go asap. I went through a similar psych system was nearly always in an alright mood when i had appointments,I found it really helpfull to write down how i was feeling when mood was low and really bad and what i was thinking about and then bringing that into sessions. Dont know if that might help you.
I know it's hard to keep routine when you feel like sh*t, seems to be a generic thing docs say!
I Hope that that it will work out for youI really do.

ashblag

HereIGo wrote: »

My daughter, aged 23, suffers from depression. She is on medication at the moment which is good and makes her feel better about things. When she is off medication she goes down again. I feel that she is suffering an awful lot and putting up a good face a lot of the time. I find it hard to talk to her, maybe she prefers it that way. I would like if anyone could tell me what to say or do or not to say or do that would be helpful to her.

Please keep trying to talk to her, even if she doesn't want to open up to you now she may want and need to talk to you at some stage. Letting her know your there for her to listen really is security.

HereIGo

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

dont ever give up trying to start up conversation with her. It took me a long time to fix things with my parents, they are prob the only reason I wouldnt commit suicide, I couldnt do that to my mother after everything she has been thru

Thanks you for that kumate_champ07. I will keep trying. She has been to one or two physicatrists but came away feeling the same as you, that they really didn't get how she was feeling and gave her no real road to go on. It seems to be the same for a lot of people. You suffer alot and it makes life harder. I will be thinking of you and hope things improve for you.

mackeminexile

To the people here that have posted regarding living with/having a relationship with someone with depression;

It is I think one of the hardest things to do (obviously without having the illness). The realisation that you can do very little to help that person alter their state/mood personally made me feel powerless. Stick with trying to talk, give them a hug when you can and constantly reassure them that you are there whenever they need you. The isolation that goes on as part of the illness is awful to watch, so I can only guess at the feeling of the sufferer.

To the OP and others on here that suffer from depression;

My partner was lucky that she got a great doctor (after a long time) and finally on to a program that really helped her deal with the issues she had. The road is long but there is always a way to make it through. Make some noise to your doctor regarding seeing someone on a regular basis. Meds are an important part of recovery but I also firmly believe that structure, exercise and diet play a part too.

Remember above all though, you are not alone. There is always someone somewhere who will be willing to lend support. Be it a family member, friend or someone on boards who is going through or has gone through your situation.

As I said before the one thing you always have is hope. It will come and go in phases (the depression that is), and gradually with help you will be able to level things out. Take care everyone

HereIGo

ashblag wrote: »

Please keep trying to talk to her, even if she doesn't want to open up to you now she may want and need to talk to you at some stage. Letting her know your there for her to listen really is security.

Thank you too ashblag. Trying to talk seems to be the best thing I can do from what you and kumate-champ07 say. I appreciate that. Well at least I can keep trying to talk. Its very tough that you have to know that from experience. You are battling hard to get on top of the depression. I will be thinking of you also ashblag.

Novella

I don't actually remember a time in my life when I was genuinely happy. I mean, I have had good times and all of that, but for the last ten or so years I've had what doctors like to refer to as 'low mood'.

I guess I deal with depression because it's like a default setting. I always wonder if maybe everyone feels like this, and I'm just inept at dealing with life. Obviously I know that not everyone attempts suicide etc., but I can't stop thinking to myself that maybe what I feel is happy, but it's not good enough.

I dunno. I've always been a crazy perfectionist, so if anything, even tiny things went wrong, I reacted hugely, laid all the blame on myself. Then I ended up hating myself because nothing I ever did was good enough in my mind.

I think at this stage I just accept that this is who I am. Yeah, I have depression and so maybe I'll have some good days, but it's okay for me to have bad ones too. I don't feel sorry for myself, I feel sorry for my parents and for the people who love me and try so hard to understand and are left feeling inadequate. The worst thing for me is knowing that so many people want to make me happy, but the only person who can do that is myself and I'm just not able.

look how long my name is..wow!

http://www.emaxhealth.com/1020/25/32851/depression-symptoms-may-come-modern-living.html

Came across this article earlier on. I'm afraid to say that alot of what is mentioned in the article has already passed through my mind before I read it. It just seems to me that the incompatibility of our stone-age brains and bodies with the modern world is the reason behind most depression which exists nowadays. Does anybody have any thoughts on this?

LegacyUser

I saw your post and like you I have suffered with depression.... for me since my late teens.....I am in my early 30's and for years I was told by doctors to get on with things ....I was put on medication but came off it myself as I put on weight and I felt like a zombie.....being on medication did not help in the long term as it did not address the cause of my depression it only dulled the symptoms.....I know when I am feeling down as I tend to withdraw into myself....and make every excuse why I cannot go out.....it has gotten so bad that I have given up well paid jobs...I have a stressful job so managing 30 people on a daily basis with depression has been hard.....I am lucky I came across a really good GP who explained that I am not mad....that I have inherited depression, it seems that depression can be genetic and run in families......it seems a lot of my family suffer from it. I attend a therapist in Clontarf....there is about 70 therapists operating out of the centre. I have made great progress with my therapist....I decided not to go with a counsellor instead I opted for a therapist who would be more qualified and question me more to get to the bottom of my depression. I am now able to understand that it is something I have to live with.....it can come and go or may never come back.....I now recognise the signs of when I am having a dip and now work through it....I have also gotten to the route cause of my depression through attending a psycho therapist who has helped me a lot....it is expensive but worth it as I am now understanding myself and how I deal with issues e.g. outside world which or my family / relationship......I am finding it good to talk to someone who questions me on my feelings ....past experiences.....I can talk to my therapist about things I cannot say to my family....as I am sensitive that my perception may upset them.......I think medication can help in the short term but to really live a happier life for me I had to confront my feelings and my past and how my past causes me to react to issues now in order to move on......psycho analytical therapy is working for me

LegacyUser

HereIGo wrote: »

My daughter, aged 23, suffers from depression. She is on medication at the moment which is good and makes her feel better about things. When she is off medication she goes down again. I feel that she is suffering an awful lot and putting up a good face a lot of the time. I find it hard to talk to her, maybe she prefers it that way. I would like if anyone could tell me what to say or do or not to say or do that would be helpful to her.

I have a very good relationship with my mother .....she understands depression and has suffered panic attacks and lows herself....but sometimes it is hard for a daughter to talk frankly with their mother without fearing they will upset them.....I have suffered depression since I was a student in UCD .....it comes and goes but over the past 15 years it has caused me to quit jobs etc....I can go 2 years and all of a sudden hit a low and not want to get out of bed.....my mother will try and get me out and tries to talk to me...I like your daughter was put on medication but came off it as I felt it only helps in the short term to dull the symptoms of depression but does not in the log term help you address your causes of depression ....it also did not help that whilst on the medication I put on weight which is a side affect of the medication .....I was lucky I found a very good GP ...who told me I was normal and that a lot of people suffer bouts of depression....some it can be inherited others it can be triggered by something that has happened in their life...

my GP put me in contact with a well know group in Clontarf who specialize in depression etc....there is over 70 counsellors / therapists / doctors working out of the site on the Clontarf Road......for me I have opted for psycho therapy and for the first time in 15 years I feel I am not mad .....I understand myself and my family better ....I also now know that certain childhood / teenager experiences has caused depression to be triggered.....the one to one sessions I have with my therapist is really helping as I can talk about my family members who I love very much without feeling guilty about my perceptions of them and how they have impacted how I deal or cope with things in my life.......I find having a therapist a liberating experience as I can talk to them and not fear that I will upset my mother....I can talk openly to my therapist and know that they will not feel upset....if I speak to my mother she feels bad ....and can be upset.......she felt bad that her shyness and her not wanting to go out when I was younger impacted me and lead to me not wanting to go out.....I think its easier to talk to a stranger as I do not want my mother to feel bad for how I am feeling...as she only blames herself.....by having this time with a therapist.....I can chat freely without having the guilt of upsetting my parents who I love very much

Bebs

I honestly can't stand people trying to 'talk to me' when I'm depressed. I can understand where your daughter is coming from. It's very hard for someone who isn't in the same boat as you to understand where you're coming from and it often just sounds trite when they try.

HereIGo

I am glad to see that some of you have met people who can really help. I can't even begin to understand. In my daughters case it seems to be heriditery as my father also suffered from depression in times where there was little or no understanding and very little help available. It more than likely affected us, his children, growing up, but we all turned out okay and all tend to have a good positive outlook in life. Really when I speak about 'talking to my daughter' it's more about every day things, like work, friends etc. She seems to go through alot of friends. They usually end up falling out and if I ask what happened, she would not say. I really don't ask her too much about how her feelings when she is down as I feel very inadequate, and no matter what I say, I cannot make her feel better and neither have I the experience or knowledge to deal with it. Love alone is not enough it seems.

Bebs

It can be hard for friends, particularly new ones, to deal with you when you're depressed. It puts a lot of strain on them and they may not understand why your daughter is acting the way she's acting.

When I'm feeling depressed I may not want to talk with people but I do take comfort in knowing that people are around me and I'm sure your daughter does too.

When I'm depressed I don't want to talk to people because I feel like I'm in a world of my own and that people can't relate to how I'm feeling. It's like being alone in a crowded room. If I'm honest I also feel a bit ashamed. I feel like this is my problem and I should be able to handle it myself without having to ask someone else for help.

I'm not your daughter and she may not feel the same way but for what it's worth, you're doing the right thing. Keep talking to her, keeping reminding her that you're there to listen when she wants to talk. She needs to be reminded that she's not alone because it's very easy to forget that when you're depressed.

HereIGo

Hi back again. My daughter has just gone through a really tough few days. I had a good talk with her, which I haven't had for a long time, and she tells me that she really really tried to get better but she just cant. I feel like crying when she tell me that. It's like she feels she must do it all on her own. She wants to do everything herself, get better, get out of situations that being depressed gets her into and so much more. I tried to explain that even those of us who do not suffer from depression always need someone at times, when we have got ourselves into a stew or bitten off more than we can chew and all the other everyday things, even if its just to ask for a lift for our children when we get stuck. She has been to some councellors, phsyciatrists etc. but they are not working. They are just not getting how she feels, not coming to her level or in some way not stepping up to the mark, giving her prespricptions and thats it, 'see how you go'. She is so fed up of going to these people, telling them her story, getting her hopes up and then ending up so disappointed and getting nowhere. I gather from reading about depression that it seems to be trial and error as to whether you get someone who you can work with. I know Crispaholic mentioned someone in Clontarf. If you can, maybe you can send me a pm and give me the contact, that would be a great help. Or if anyone can recommend me someone, from personal experience or friend or family experience, it would be something to go on. The munster area is preferable, but if we got the right person, it would not matter where.

SparrowTown

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

Ive tried every med ,effexor with seroquel or zyprexa is all I respond too,

have you ever tried any of the older tricyclics .Scroll down to side effects too. The reason i ask is that i have read of peope who respond to them when they won't respond to newer ones. not medical advice