Help! My lodger is a conspiracy nut.

Jesus Wept

When he goes out, cover everything in his room in tin foil ala this picture.

Anyhow, I think he has about 50% of his theories correct, wp.

DubMedic

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

This.

The relevant part is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1wy2Li7_Ps&feature=related#t=0m28s

K-9

Tell him you joined the freemasons and give him the funny handshake! :eek:

IM0

every time he talks just say mmmk?..tks bai..

Barname

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

perhaps the conspiracy theorists ARE out to get you?

Overheal

Terry wrote: »

He already brought a toaster with him.
Do you think that means anything?

Simpsons - Time and Punishment, Treehouse of Horror V

Mackman

next time he tries to tell you something, sssssh him, and hand him a note saying "they're listening", then proceed to talk loudly about the latest episode of Fair City

plein de force

Mackman wrote: »

next time he tries to tell you something, sssssh him, and hand him a note saying "they're listening", then proceed to talk loudly about the latest episode of Fair City

now don't be silly, what a stupid idea








nobody watches fair city

qwytre

Get rid of him and only take in people who conform to all your views.

sdanseo

brummytom wrote: »

I'd never advocate violence, of course you shouldn't kill him






Make it look like an accident

God, the giggles I got from that one. Post of the day, please!

sam34

kick him in the face

Kasabian

Once had a landlord move a guy into a house that a mate and I were renting . We weren't too bothered with this until he actually turned up and literally 5 mins later was sitting at the kitchen table showing us how to make a hangman's noose from a rope he took from his bag.

Of course this set off alarm bells and after a few more days of his ever increasing wierdness we came up with a plan to get rid of him...

Cabaal

Is your lodger Jim Corr by any chance?

bonzodog2

Just call the lizard people round and ask them to kill him. They do a very tidy job, none of that ruined carpet malarkey.

Poor Uncle Tom

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

Good,

You've accepted him,

stage 1 complete.........

Poor Uncle Tom

Biggins wrote: »

Terry, I can loan you bug deteccion equipment if you need to sweep the place.....

FFS, It's called a brush....:rolleyes:

brendansmith

Bust a conspiracy nut in his eyes

hshortt

Buy a couple of copies 'To kill a Mocking Bird', leave them in view.

NothingMan

I would stage an elaborate plan over several months, culminating in the two of you breaking into Dail Eireann, complete with tinfoil hats and laser deflector shields, to try and remove the almighty Green Lizard, Enda, from his current plot to take over as Taoiseach of Ireland and beginning his plan of enslaving the Irish nation.

See National Treasure, with Nick Cage for references and ideas.

Obviously start off subtle, use an iTrip to hijack whatever radio stations he listens to and let him hear stuff like "He's just in his bedroom, over", "Yeah, he's wearing his tinfoil hate, over", "****, can he hear us?, over.", "go, go, go", and have a car squeal off down the road.

SubLuminal

He's right about everything except the bodies - and the lizards. He's been reading too much David Ike, but the WTC stuff is true, do a bit of digging and there's basically proof out there, just nobody wants to believe it.

NothingMan

SubLuminal wrote: »

He's right about everything except the bodies - and the lizards. He's been reading too much David Ike, but the WTC stuff is true, do a bit of digging and there's basically proof out there, just nobody wants to believe it.

You're fecked now Terry, your new lodger's on boards!!!

gizmo

Start leaving vague Illuminati-style symbols around your place. The rest will sort itself out.

cyrusdvirus

The original builders of the Cylons were Lizards. In the Original BSG.

Maybe our glorious leaders are merely skin jobs.

Terry, you brought this person to Leixlip, you deal with the consequences

Leeg17

No tell him that the Bildenberg Group were behind Diana's "assasination", but that she wasn't assisinated. She was flying the empty plane into the Pentagon :eek:

allanb49

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

Why did you agree to Jim Corr being your lodger Terry?

biko

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

He's right you know.
<<
>>

Panthro

start picking your nose, take a good long look at what you just plucked from your nose, and without a hesitation, wipe the snots into the arm-rests of the chair you are sitting on.:)

ilovesleep

Wear nothing but your tin foil hat. Bollocks naked around your home. When you hear him coming your way - start ****. Tell him you need a hole to stick your mickey into.

Engelbert

Stop waking him up with your constant spooning and neediness to be annoyed. He should get the message then.

That or keep drinking his booze or smoke his stash!

Capt'n Midnight

Tell him that you believe that he is only pretending and was sent by the new world order to entrap you.

oh and remind him that Oxygen is carcinogenic

up for anything

Tell him you have heard rumours of a conspiracy to evict him soon.

Overheal

i think simply telling him people on the internet are conspiring about him will suffice.

With this thread to present as its own evidence: its true!

StereoLove

Tell him if he dosn't stop with his conspiracies, you'll admit him to a psychaitric unit. Or tell him you already know everything that he tells you! Maybe then he'll stop!

Terry

Brilliant replies. Thanks, and keep them coming.

derfderf

That's a hand symbol, similar to the death metal 666 symbol, that supposed followers of the lizard men do to show their loyalty. Keep gettin caught w ankin in the sittin room wit both hands making the symbol.

--Kaiser--

SubLuminal wrote: »

He's right about everything except the bodies - and the lizards. He's been reading too much David Ike, but the WTC stuff is true, do a bit of digging and there's basically proof out there, just nobody wants to believe it.

Go sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here

yuloni

This post has been deleted.

Bolag_the_2nd

This is an obvious job for Trent, He will either have sex with him or kill him, either way you win

smash

1) Start writing weird notes on your bathroom mirror so when it steams up he can faintly read them.

2) Creep out at night and shine bright lights through his blinds.

3) Start placing classifieds in newspapers with secret messages for him.

4) Send him a few DVD's in the post with nothing but static and the odd split second flicker of some weird images.

When he's well and truly freaked out start sending random 'sorry for your loss' cards to his mother. Guarantee he'll be gone in a flash!

Dudess

Captain Darling wrote: »

I'd to take a double take on the thread title, i thought it read 'Help! My todger is a conspiracy nut.'

Me too...

Black Swan

Terry wrote: »

What the **** do you do with these people?

Give him a laptop with unlimited free access to the CT forum on boards. Problem solved.

Terry

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Give him a laptop with unlimited free access to the CT forum on boards. Problem solved.

No way. Then he'll just meet up with the regulars there and become even more nutty.

RolandIRL

is your lodger Jim Corr by any chance? :P

tell him to let his crazy theories out in the Cuckoo's Nest. that'll dilute his crazy a bit

Gummy Panda

Leave a note on his bed saying:

There are twelve cylon models.

WildBoots

Terry wrote: »

Within the space of 5 minutes, he told me that Princess Diana was assasinated, tower 7 was demolished, there were no passengers on the 9-11 flights (apparently because no bodies were found and because bodies were found on the crashed Concorde), that the Bilderberg group rule the world by worshipping a lizard or something and that the Jews run the world (He's part Jewish).

What the **** do you do with these people?

Before anyone tells me to throw him out, he has nowhere else to go and I feel sorry for him.

What if he's right, or at least partly right? Or maybe you are correct and he is crazy. Why not try talking to him and see why he thinks this way before you write him off completely? Tell him you find it hard to see where he is coming from and that you find it a tad uncomfortable when he talks about such things. Why not tell the guy you'll give him 30 mins to explain and back up one of his "theories" to you. You never know, you might even have a bit of a laugh.

If you still don't agree with what he has to say, tell him you find it all a bit too weird. Be honest. Let him know that you've tried but it's something you don't want to discuss again.

Terry

WildBoots wrote: »

What if he's right, or at least partly right? Or maybe you are correct and he is crazy. Why not try talking to him and see why he thinks this way before you write him off completely? Tell him you find it hard to see where he is coming from and that you find it a tad uncomfortable when he talks about such things. Why not tell the guy you'll give him 30 mins to explain and back up one of his "theories" to you. You never know, you might even have a bit of a laugh.

If you still don't agree with what he has to say, tell him you find it all a bit too weird. Be honest. Let him know that you've tried but it's something you don't want to discuss again.

Yeah, but that doesn't make for a good AH thread.

If I wanted real advice, I would have used the appropriate forum.

He's an old friend, but I hadn't seen him for about 4 years. Great lodger apart from the conspiracy theories. Instead of paying rent today, he offered to buy some paint and do the hall, stairs, landing, his room and the part of the bathroom which isn't tiled. He's halfway through the hall stairs and landing.

Right. Back to the funny replies.

NothingMan

Terry wrote: »

He's halfway through the hall stairs and landing.

Leave some cryptic notes slightly hidden where there are no tiles. Then when he goes to tile them he'll find the clues and lead him on a quest of epic proportions, that will eventually lead him to a giant hole. He can't live with you if he's stuck in a hole.

Terry

Now that's something I will do.

Joey the lips

Tell him elvis stayed with you last year.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

tell him you're taking a summer trip to north dakota