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Maintenance and DNA testing

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  • 13-07-2010 4:11pm
    #1
    Feb10
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    Hi Guys,

    Just looking for some information/advice.
    I had a baby 4 months ago and from the moment I told her father I was pregnant he said he wanted a DNA test. I think he is only trying to avoid any responsibilty. I didn't hear from him for the duration of my pregnancy, however, when she was born I sent him a photo of her. He told me he would try his best and that he would like to see her. I was happy with this as I wanted my baby to have her father in her life. However, the weeks went on and I heard nothing from him. I sent him on details of a DNA testing facility in Limerick and told him if he makes an appointment, and pays for it, I will bring the baby down to be tested. I got no reply.
    He is not paying any maintenance so I went into the District Court yesterday and applied for a maintenance order. I'm back to work next month and childcare is so expensive so I need all the financial help I can get. Anyhow, he shouldn't be able to get away with not helping to pay to raise his child. I intend to represent myself in court as I am just applying for what is my childs legal right.
    My question is, who will have to pay for this DNA test? If he is the one requesting it, should he have to pay? It seems unfair if I do as I am already raising his child with no help from him.
    Has anyone been in a similar situation and gone through the process in court? I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I would be in a situation like this! I would be so grateful for any input.


Comments

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    #2
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    I don't know, but from his point of view he probably thinks, why should he have to fork out for a DNA test for a kid that he doesn't think is his? If it turns out not to be his he will have wasted hundreds of euros probably.


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    #3
    445279.ie
    Registered Users Posts: 9,978 ✭✭✭445279.ie


    More often than not the Judge will order whoever is looking for the test, to pay for it.


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    #4
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    AFAIK, based on who is insisting on it.

    Basically, you are looking for maintenance from him for the child. He either agrees a figure or looks for the test if he has doubts.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #5
    Lorri_L
    Closed Accounts Posts: 243 ✭✭Lorri_L


    You could put to him that as he wants the test, he should pay. Tell him that if the test shows that your daughter isn't his you'll pay him they money.

    That way, he can't worry about losing money if she's not his child.


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    #6
    amiable
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭amiable


    I think he's just putting you on the long finger hoping you'll just go away.
    Fair play to you though and fight your corner.
    You do what you think is right as i'm sure you have done since you found out you were pregnant.
    Get as much help as you can and support.


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    #7
    BUBBLES1978
    Registered Users Posts: 383 ✭✭BUBBLES1978


    the judge could order he pays for the test, however if he declines the judge can presume parentage and make him pay maintenance regardless of a test being done or not.

    i would suggest you give treoir a ring or look up there website, especially if you are wanting to represent yourself. you shouldn be afraid of doing this as it will be only you and him and the judge in the room ( i found them helpful when i went to court)

    i have experience of what you are going through so pm me if you want more details


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    #8
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    If you really can't afford the test and he won't pay, then you could go on the Jeremy Kyle show, they'll do the test for free.


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    #9
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    If you really can't afford the test and he won't pay, then you could go on the Jeremy Kyle show, they'll do the test for free.

    This forum is not the place for wisecracks like this, it's considered trolling and this forum has a zero tolerance policy for trolls.


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    #10
    amiable
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭amiable


    I also think it would be a good idea for the OP to keep a diary if she hasn't been doing this already.
    It could be used further down along the line.
    Use all the good advice you have received here.
    Best of luck


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    #11
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Whomever contests the paternity pays for it. So, if you bring him to court for maintenance and he contests paternity, the court will demand one and the burden of cost will be his.

    Obviously if the test does not confirm paternity he can sue for costs.


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    #12
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    metrovelvet wrote: »
    Whomever contests the paternity pays for it. So, if you bring him to court for maintenance and he contests paternity, the court will demand one and the burden of cost will be his.

    Obviously if the test does not confirm paternity he can sue for costs.

    Exactly, that is the best compromise.

    If he refused the above, the judge can order a test. He/she would also wonder why they are refusing a reasonable request.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #13
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    You can get a paternity test done for as little as 250E. you send away for the kit, take a few swabs of daddy and baby, they ask for 2 from each in case one gets contaminated, and mummy can supply hers too if she wishes. You post it back and within a 2 weeks of its arrival to the test lab it is all done and dusted.

    If he is so concerned about it, he should pay! He can get one that stands up in court for 900E (chain of custody of the specimens are recorded) and you can pay for to have it within 48hours if you like.


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    #14
    BUBBLES1978
    Registered Users Posts: 383 ✭✭BUBBLES1978


    BARRINGTONS LABROATORY IN LIMERICK DO one for way less than 900 euro and it also stands up in court !!


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    #15
    Feb10
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Feb10


    StormWarrior wrote: »
    If you really can't afford the test and he won't pay, then you could go on the Jeremy Kyle show, they'll do the test for free.

    I never said I couldn't afford the test, I was merely asking WHO would have to pay for it, but thanks for that!!:rolleyes:


    Thanks so much for all your information guys. I have decided to get a solicitor in case it gets ugly and I get in over my head!! The whole thing is so annoying because as Amiable said, he is just putting me on the long finger hoping it will all go away. There is absolutely no doubt about paternity and hopefully a judge will see this and demand he pays for the test he so wants!
    Regarding keeping a diary, I have the next best thing. I have every text message he sent me since the baby was born, promising to do his best, and then switching to wanting a DNA test. God, I really hope it doesn't come to that!!!

    Thanks again everyone!:)


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    #16
    homerjay2005
    Registered Users Posts: 29,346 ✭✭✭✭homerjay2005


    didnt want to start a new thread and aint seen if this has been discussed anywhere else, so feel free to move this post if its not in the right place.

    a friend of mine is in a little dilemma. she has asked me for help and advice as she is at her wits end.

    she is a single mam and the father is not paying any maintanance. the child is now 4 almost and for the first 3 1/2 years, the father never saw the child, no contact. he then went to court to get access again and after several cases, eventually it was agreed 3 hours every 3 weeks.

    he was ordered to pay maintanane and kept it up for about 2 months and then just stopped again, but is still seeing the child. he says he has not got the money anymore to pay for the child.

    my friend has since lodged a court request (or however its called) to have this addressed. she heard nothing for about a month and when she went to check the case, she was told it was cancelled as there are new maintainance laws coming up and all new cases are not allowed to proceed. this is a bit baffling to me.

    anyway, is anybody else in the same prediciment? what can she do, she was told to wait and wait, but she is struggling financially and is worried he will get away with not obeying the court order to pay.

    does anybody know what these new maintainance laws will mean for her?

    both of them are not from ireland if that makes any difference, they are both from Asia, the child was born here.

    thanks for your advice.


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    #17
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    I guess the only thing she can do is keep a record of all missed payments to be presented at the next court date.

    Know nothing of the new laws.


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    #18
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Legal advice can not be given on this site, she needs to get a solictor to help her.


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    #19
    homerjay2005
    Registered Users Posts: 29,346 ✭✭✭✭homerjay2005


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Legal advice can not be given on this site, she needs to get a solictor to help her.

    who asked for legal advice? i asked 3 questions, none of them based on any legal advice, the first and 3rd question being the key -

    anyway, is anybody else in the same prediciment?
    what can she do?
    does anybody know what these new maintainance laws will mean for her?

    she has a meeting with a solicitor tomorrow.


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    #20
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    homerjay2005 wrote: »
    who asked for legal advice? i asked 3 questions, none of them based on any legal advice, the first and 3rd question being the key -

    anyway, is anybody else in the same prediciment?
    what can she do?
    does anybody know what these new maintainance laws will mean for her?

    she has a meeting with a solicitor tomorrow.

    There was and is problems enforcing it and new laws are being introduced. The solicitor I'm sure will know more, but here's a bit of background on it:

    New law will target parents who fail to pay maintenance | The Post

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #21
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    homerjay2005 wrote: »
    who asked for legal advice? i asked 3 questions, none of them based on any legal advice, the first and 3rd question being the key -

    anyway, is anybody else in the same prediciment?
    what can she do?
    does anybody know what these new maintainance laws will mean for her?

    she has a meeting with a solicitor tomorrow.

    You asked for information and advice due to their being new laws and legal advice cant' be given here it's against the site rules.

    I am glad she is going to meet with a solicitor.


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