The aftermath of coming out?

Dr. Baltar

Just a quick question really. I came out about 6 months ago and since the initial revelation of my bisexuality to my parents we have not talked about it since.
Is this normal?
Should I talk to my parents about this again?

The only times my sexuality has been aknowledged is when something "gay" comes on tv and there might be a glance or a look ect.

I do not exactly need my parents to talk about my sexuality all the time or anything, but it just feels like my coming out to them has not changed anything. With them, it's almost as if that conversation never happened at all.

Any suggestions?

Links234

Dr. Baltar wrote: »

With them, it's almost as if that conversation never happened at all.

Maybe they're trying not to treat you any differently? do you want them to treat you differently? or expect them to

baby and crumble

It'll probably be 'ignored' until you bring home a same sex partner. And tbh, you have to think about this from your folks point of view- no parents really wants to think of their child as a sexual being, and by coming out you force them to. It can't be comfortable.

From my point of view, i came out 7 years ago to my folks, and they accept my gf as being my partner, but it's never really said, if you know what I mean? but apart from one initial excrutiating conversation with my dad, we've not really talked about it since. he just treats me the way he always did. And thats ok with me.

but trust me, they haven't forgotten...

MultiUmm

I think your situation is fairly normal OP. The same thing happened to me when I came out to my brother and mam last year, we never really spoke about it unless something related to being gay came up in a conversation somehow.

It's nothing unusual, I think it's just a matter of them not being too bothered by it and that they've fully accepted you so therefore it's not on their minds a lot when you're speaking to them, excluding if some LGBT issue is on the tv or something like that.

I also get the feeling a lot of straight people don't really know what's appropriate and inappropriate to say to an LGBT person, especially seeing as that they're your parents they've probably never really had any experience with LGBT issues before, so they might just leave it alone as they're not really sure what to discuss with you.
Of course, if this is the case you can always start a topic that is LGBT related when you're talking to them and see how it is.

Strangely enough I thought the same thing as you did when I reached the 6 month mark after coming out which was around December. I thought to myself that wouldn't it be normal for us to discuss it more? But I gradually stopped thinking like this and came to the conclusion that because it wasn't a big issue for either of them there was no real reason to be discussing my sexuality that often, unless I had a problem, brought a boyfriend home, etc.

Anyway to summarise, I don't think it's anything to be too concerned about OP, I'm sure if they felt the need to discuss something related to your sexuality they'd talk about it to you, and if you brought up something related to being bisexual over dinner or whatever I doubt they'd be unwilling to discuss it with you.

Hope that helped a bit.

MultiUmm

zoegh wrote: »

It'll probably be 'ignored' until you bring home a same sex partner. And tbh, you have to think about this from your folks point of view- no parents really wants to think of their child as a sexual being, and by coming out you force them to. It can't be comfortable.

From my point of view, i came out 7 years ago to my folks, and they accept my gf as being my partner, but it's never really said, if you know what I mean? but apart from one initial excrutiating conversation with my dad, we've not really talked about it since. he just treats me the way he always did. And thats ok with me.

but trust me, they haven't forgotten...

That's true, but I think it also depends on how a parent would perceive homosexuality, bisexuality or transsexualism before their son or daughter came out to them.

My mam was always fairly comfortable with gay people even before I told her I was gay myself, she had gay friends in the past and other members of our extended family are gay so I suppose she was used to it "being in the family" in a sense.
She didn't really see my orientation as something 'sexual', she just came to the conclusion that it's part of who someone is and that it can't be changed.

Somewhat funnily, she's more open than what I would be about discussing sexual health matters. This has led to many moments of brief embarrassment and blushing on my end at what my mam is saying to me though.

Dr. Baltar

Thanks so much guys, that helped a lot! I may just make an off-hand comment sometime soon just to see how things are.