Being average - a good or a bad thing?

Wibbs

Sangre wrote: »

There is nothing worse than someone who tries to be kooky or unconventional for the sake of it.

It can be alright. IME people who are actually different and unconventional want to be average a lot of the time. Because around the average/mainstream/"normal" is much easier as a general rule in life. People with traits considered worthy by a society, great beauty, artists, great intellect can get away with being outliers more. Indeed with great artists we almost expect them to be kooky. That along with their art is what the do for a society. We can live vicariously through them in some ways.

Yes we all have limitations, but what does surprise me is how with enough will how much people can break through those limitations. Like Emme and her 10k. She did it even without the runners build. Look at eddie izzard and him running something daft like 40 marathons in 40 days. Eddie,bless him is not exactly a stripped down racing snake in build. But he did it. Or the woman who was terminally ill with very painful cancer who cycled arund the world for charity. Its amazing how much the will to do it can overcome the obvious physical limitations.

iguana wrote:

Well most people have to be average or otherwise it wouldn't be average. If everyone was really beautiful then the really beautiful would be average and only the exceptionally beautiful would stand out as especially attractive.

My head hurts

seenitall

SugarHigh wrote: »

I love the illusory superiority going on this thread:D

Sorry to break it to you but it's pretty likely you're average. People view there own lives as being somehow different to everyone else's because theirs is the only one they see from the first person.

Sorry to break it to you but it's pretty likely you feel yourself to be below average, and are trying to rationalise your perceived deficiencies by imagining (whose pic have you seen out of people who have posted on here?) other people to be "illusory superior". Transference.

LilMsss

MoodeRator wrote: »

That was just SO well said!
please tell me you are a nerd?

Yeah I suppose I am a bit of a nerd ... or an over-thinker at best

MoodeRator

LilMsss wrote: »

Yeah I suppose I am a bit of a nerd ... or an over-thinker at best

That'll do for me!!!

rubberdiddies

rubberdiddies wrote: »

major cliche here but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
One persons average can be another persons beautiful and vice versa.

Yes, someone can be viewed as extremely good looking or ugly depending on how you feel about their personality!!

SugarHigh

seenitall wrote: »

Sorry to break it to you but it's pretty likely you feel yourself to be below average, and are trying to rationalise your perceived deficiencies by imagining (whose pic have you seen out of people who have posted on here?) other people to be "illusory superior". Transference.

I said it's pretty likely they are average because that's the group most fall into but if you want to believe everyone on boards manages to be above average then that's up to you.

Make a thread saying "do you think you are funnier then average" and most people reply yes, do the same for how nice or how intelligent you are and most people will rate themselves above average. It's just not likely to be the case.

Silverfish

I think this thread is meandering off topic, can we try get it back on topic thanks

Dudess

Emme wrote: »

I consider myself to be average in appearance. I'm 5'5, size 10-12, blue eyes, pale skin, mousy blonde hair with highlights...

Does anybody else consider themselves to be very average and if so, how do you feel about it?

Substitute the hair colour with black and the eye colour with grey-blue and you've got me.
I think, bare-faced, I'm middling looking - not stunningly beautiful but not unattractive. And I'm happy with how I look - don't care that I'm not amazing looking. I like how I can transform myself with make-up, and more importantly, I'm lucky enough to have a gregarious personality and confidence.

Daisies

I'm average in every way possible
I am
Average height
Average weight
Average appearance (both with and without make up)

I'm also average at all my hobbies. I've tried everything but never excelled at anything, you name it I've done it (practically).

That said there are some things that people have said I'm good at.
Apparently I'm a good friend, which to be quite honest is all I'm looking for. I will happily be average at everything else if I'm better than average at the important things

princess-lala

Daisies wrote: »

Apparently I'm a good friend, which to be quite honest is all I'm looking for. I will happily be average at everything else if I'm better than average at the important things

Your a great friend!

Im average and quite happy with it I cant change myself nor do I want to

Wibbs

Daisies wrote: »

Apparently I'm a good friend, which to be quite honest is all I'm looking for. I will happily be average at everything else if I'm better than average at the important things

and the friend thing IME is not that average.

Daisies

princess-lala wrote: »

Your a great friend!

Im average and quite happy with it I cant change myself nor do I want to

Wibbs wrote: »

and the friend thing IME is not that average.

Ah shucks you guys

princess-lala

Daisies wrote: »

Ah shucks you guys

Its true

But Im the same as you, average at sports, all hoppies I was either useless at or just average! I never excelled in anything!

I'm still waiting for my calling

Jimmy Iovine

Haha found this there on Youtube. No obviously this is a joke so don't go hopping mad on it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk

seenitall

SugarHigh wrote: »

I said it's pretty likely they are average because that's the group most fall into but if you want to believe everyone on boards manages to be above average then that's up to you.

Make a thread saying "do you think you are funnier then average" and most people reply yes, do the same for how nice or how intelligent you are and most people will rate themselves above average. It's just not likely to be the case.

I wasn't talking about "everyone on boards", and more to the point, nor were you.

panda100

Jimmy Iovine wrote: »

Haha found this there on Youtube. No obviously this is a joke so don't go hopping mad on it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk

Thats mad I was just watching that yesterday on Jezebel.Two minutes of my life I want back. She really annoys me the one who does those video's,there not that funny at all.

I agree with the general consensus that there really is no 'average',looks wise. I think everyone has something that makes them different and unique.

However,I tend not to be that attracted to people who just have an 'average' outlook on life, and are happy with the status quo.

Will

My appearance is somewhat odd/different/shocking to a few, due to this my 'appeal' is very polarized. I've large stretched lobes and a stretched labret amongst other things so usually turn heads, but almost always for the wrong reasons I'm ok with this though, my choice and all that stuff...

More importantly (to me anyway) is that I am happy with myself and my appearance, if you are happy and confident I think it shows. Give me an "average" woman who is content and happy with herself any day over some stunner who is always needing reassurance about herself.

Hope this makes sense, quite tired and typing as I go.

panda100

Will wrote: »

My appearance is somewhat odd/different/shocking to a few, due to this my 'appeal' is very polarized. I've large stretched lobes and a stretched labret amongst other things so usually turn heads, but almost always for the wrong reasons I'm ok with this though, my choice and all that stuff...

More importantly (to me anyway) is that I am happy with myself and my appearance, if you are happy and confident I think it shows. Give me an "average" woman who is content and happy with herself any day over some stunner who is always needing reassurance about herself.

Hope this makes sense, quite tired and typing as I go.

Just back to the op's question,Will, do you find you not being average a good or bad thing in general when it comes to how people treat you?

Will

panda100 wrote: »

Just back to the op's question,Will, do you find you not being average a good or bad thing in general when it comes to how people treat you?

More often than not it's negative as some people have these pre-conceived ideas about me that I'm some sort of hooligan and try to avoid me

Sometimes it works out, other's it doesn't - such is life. I've found work environment can be a stumbling block, so I've had to work extra hard at interviews in the past to show that I'm not some waster.

Thinking about it more it is actually quite beneficial and positive, only because I am capable of showing people that I'm not some scummer and actually an ok guy.

tl;dr - it's good if the person takes the time to get to know me, bad if they just go on appearances.

edit - I will post a more coherent answer tomorrow, way too tired right now.

panda100

Will wrote: »

More often than not it's negative as some people have these pre-conceived ideas about me that I'm some sort of hooligan and try to avoid me

Sometimes it works out, other's it doesn't - such is life. I've found work environment can be a stumbling block, so I've had to work extra hard at interviews in the past to show that I'm not some waster.

Thinking about it more it is actually quite beneficial and positive, only because I am capable of showing people that I'm not some scummer and actually an ok guy.

tl;dr - it's good if the person takes the time to get to know me, bad if they just go on appearances.

Yeah,I think maybe this is what the op was getting at.
Those who have extra-ordinary looks usually have to work a bit harder to change peoples pre-conceived notions of themselves.
If someone is 'average' looking,normal height,normal hair etc then you won't really judge them on their apperance.
If someone is really attractive then they have to work harder to prove their not horrid,stupid or have no personality.
If someone has tats and piercings then they have to work harder to show their not dodgy or wierd.

I think height plays a big factor in this.
I notice that I get treated slightly different from my friends both socially and professionally because I am well over average height. Almost every time in the hospital, patients completely overlook much more senior colleagues because they are convinced I am in charge. I find I get taken a lot more seriously because I am tall compared to some of my smaller colleagues.
Any other tall girls noticed this?

seenitall

Well, I am a shortie (5'3''), but I am not surprised at what you're saying. For example, I have always found myself attracted to tall guys first and foremost, even though guys that are of average height would physically suit me better.

I think it's partly due to evolutionary mating psychology (again!:p), but partly also because tall people do command more respect by their very presence, than short people do. I went on a date with a short guy a while ago; he was funny, witty, good-looking and apparently confident yet I sensed that there was a lack of confidence there, his body language was just a tiny bit "off".

One of my exes is a tall guy, and although he is a kind of a generally uninvolved chancer/slacker type of person (or "laid-back":D), I have seen him being given more deference, by both men and women, in certain situations than would have been needed or, indeed, desired by him. Height is the key, IMO.