Absolutely hate my family!

LegacyUser

For years I have put up with my family,all uneducated scumbags!whatever I do seems to only be a disgrace to them. when I turned 18 ,they tried to persuade me to leave school,I rejected doing this and since then they think I am a snob,who believes I am better then them but to be honest I actually am...
They all get pregnant early, with scumbag feud heads and settle into a council happily on the dole.

I do not want this life so , my eldest sister hates me throws comments at me and teaches her son to call me a scumbag! all of my family cousins and all have only ever finished the leaving cert through the L.C.A route ,I did 4 honours and 3 pass.Recently due to finishing school, my family are at me more and more trying to break my spirit! and its starting to work,they look down on me , make me feel little and not wanted.

All because I choose not to go on the dole, fall preggers with a cheating diseased feud head and settle in a council house.The pressure is mounting ,I just feel like giving up

Emme

bornintoscum wrote: »

For years I have put up with my family,all uneducated scumbags!whatever I do seems to only be a disgrace to them. when I turned 18 ,they tried to persuade me to leave school,I rejected doing this and since then they think I am a snob,who believes I am better then them but to be honest I actually am...
They all get pregnant early, with scumbag feud heads and settle into a council happily on the dole.

You're not better than them, you just have different aspirations. If they choose to get pregnant at 18 and live on benefits that's their choice. Just because they didn't finish their leaving certs or go to college doesn't make them uneducated scumbags. Having a child early isn't such a bad thing but it can make going to college and working your way up the career ladder difficult and that's before you even think of the financial challenges.

bornintoscum wrote: »

I do not want this life so , my eldest sister hates me throws comments at me and teaches her son to call me a scumbag! all of my family cousins and all have only ever finished the leaving cert through the L.C.A route ,I did 4 honours and 3 pass.Recently due to finishing school, my family are at me more and more trying to break my spirit! and its starting to work,they look down on me , make me feel little and not wanted.

All because I choose not to go on the dole, fall preggers with a cheating diseased feud head and settle in a council house.The pressure is mounting ,I just feel like giving up

It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, if you try to break the mould you'll get hassle. I was the first person in my family to go to university and I got ridiculed over it and I still get ridicule from my dad about being "educated". If you were from a family of doctors and didn't want to do medicine you'd get grief as well.

If you want to do something different from your family you'll have to get on with it, do your best and develop a thick skin. It won't make you "better" than them, just different.

Danniboo

Emme wrote: »

You're not better than them, you just have different aspirations. If they choose to get pregnant at 18 and live on benefits that's their choice. Just because they didn't finish their leaving certs or go to college doesn't make them uneducated scumbags. Having a child early isn't such a bad thing but it can make going to college and working your way up the career ladder difficult and that's before you even think of the financial challenges.



It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, if you try to break the mould you'll get hassle. I was the first person in my family to go to university and I got ridiculed over it and I still get ridicule from my dad about being "educated". If you were from a family of doctors and didn't want to do medicine you'd get grief as well.

If you want to do something different from your family you'll have to get on with it, do your best and develop a thick skin. It won't make you "better" than them, just different.

Are you serious, the OP is most certainly without a doubt better than these people, not because of their lifestyle choices but because the OP is trying to make a good life and the family is teaching their kids to use the phrase scumbag and I'm guessing as they have to "teach" their kids this they are still very young. I would have 0 respect for someone teaching their kids this kind of language.What kind of people try and bring their family members down and persuade them not to continue in school and educate themselves. OP i've been through similar myself, just hold your head up go easy on yourself and do what makes you happy don't let these people break your spirit. Do you live at home can you move out and distance yourself from these people.

Emme

Danniboo wrote: »

Are you serious, the OP is most certainly without a doubt better than these people, not because of their lifestyle choices but because the OP is trying to make a good life and the family is teaching their kids to use the phrase scumbag and I'm guessing as they have to "teach" their kids this they are still very young. I would have 0 respect for someone teaching their kids this kind of language.What kind of people try and bring their family members down and persuade them not to continue in school and educate themselves. OP i've been through similar myself, just hold your head up go easy on yourself and do what makes you happy don't let these people break your spirit. Do you live at home can you move out and distance yourself from these people.

I've been through similar but not as extreme as the OP. I come from a farming background where nobody went to college and women got married young and were drudges to their husbands and his extended family.

I agree that the OP has more honourable aspirations than her family and fair play to her for that, but I have a problem with calling one person "better" than another. That's snobbery.

Danniboo

Emme wrote: »

I've been through similar but not as extreme as the OP. I come from a farming background where nobody went to college and women got married young and were drudges to their husbands and his extended family.

I agree that the OP has more honourable aspirations than her family and fair play to her for that, but I have a problem with calling one person "better" than another. That's snobbery.

And what would you call teaching a kid to call her aunt a scumbag and family members doing the same and trying to crush someone they're supposed to love and support. I'll choose snobbery thanks.

Emme

Danniboo wrote: »

And what would you call teaching a kid to call her aunt a scumbag and family members doing the same and trying to crush someone they're supposed to love and support. I'll choose snobbery thanks.

I'd call it toxic and dysfunctional and the more angry you get with them they more likely they will succeed in pulling you back to their level. Life isn't perfect and you aren't guaranteed love and support from your family. I would strongly advise you to get out of that environment altogether if you want to move onwards and upwards.

Beruthiel

bornintoscum wrote: »

The pressure is mounting ,I just feel like giving up

Do whatever it takes to move out.

Fittle

Not ONLY are you better than all them OP, but you have finished school and gotten to the point in your life that you are at, WITH NO SUPPORT!!! You should be SO proud of yourself (excuse the capitals, but I'm just trying to emphasize how proud you should be!).
I'm alot older than you, but came from a similar background. None of my family finished school, all ended up in council houses. I, on the other hand, finished school and bought my own home - I'm not saying that because I;ve done that I'm necessarily better than them (like not everybody who buys their own house, is better than those in council houses) but they all planned to have council houses...stayed on council housing lists for years while they lived with my folks...planned to get pregnant and go on lone parents allowance etc etc.

Now I look back at when I was your age and realise how great I was to achieve what I have achieved DESPITE them!

Hold your head up high OP, you will distance yourself from your family when you can, because you want to. don't let them get you down!!!
Best of luck

Lollipops23

OP there's absoloutely nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself,you should be proud that you are.
I think perhaps this kind of ridicule may stem from jealousy or feelings of inferiority on your family's behalf? Like you doing so well for yourself and having a decent amount of self-respect may be shining a light on the things they couldn't have for themselves because of the choices they made?

Anywho,as Beruthial said,get out. Ring citizen's information and find out what grants you may be entitled to if you move out. Try and find some kind of part-time work (easier said than done,I know,but there IS stuff out there as long as you're not fussed).

Keep your head held high,just keep going and don't let them get you done.

cats.life

well done to you op for coming so far in your life with no help from family, try your best to move out of where you are, dont you dare give up ,you have done all this on your own , would have being nice if family help you but alas YOU alone , dont let them get to you. your very strong will,d op.

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Like you, I'm the first in my family to get a degree or go to college, however, my family have been nothing if not supportive. I really feel for you, I can only imagine how hurtful it is to have your achievements used as a weapon against you. Someone else said that it's jealousy on their part and I would 100% agree, you're showing them up for the useless idiots that they sound like. No one likes when they feel inferior and so try to turn it around and make out that they're not wrong. At the end of the day, people's who's only goal is to spend their life sitting unemployed in a council popping out babies are outrageously acceptable in this society, I don't know why, they're basically a drain on society and a waste of organs IMO!!!! Honestly OP, just focus on your own goals and ignore them, when you're living in a nice house with a career you can visit them in their squalor and agree that you're the weird/wrong one and then go out and hop into your nice car and leave them to the pointless life they've chosen.

Just ignore them til then,
And just remember; you're awesome, you're following your dreams.

Best of luck.

Sleepy

Get out. Get out. Get out.

Move to a new place (even if it's just the opposite side of the same city), if you haven't already (which sounds unlikely from your post) see if you can get a job and whatever you do keep plugging away at the education. If you're not in a position to be able to go to college full-time (which can be very hard without Family support) there's lots of evening courses you can do, many of which get you qualifications from year one and develop them as they go.

Too many people from backgrounds like yours let their families drag them down or use an unsupportive family as an excuse to waste their lives. Fair play to you for not being one of them.

JBF

I think lollypop 23 hit the nail on the head. Often this kind of behaviour stems from jealousy, perhaps they felt given their social background that they were never destined for anything else than lone parents allowance and counsil houses. Maybe they've used this as an excuse to themselves for not wanting more out of life. Then you come along and blow them away with your hard work and high aspirations. Hopefully in time they will see the error of their ways. It's doubly hard for you because youare still young, but I promise you one day you will look back at this and say "wow, I did this on my own. And it was worth it"

Please don't stop now, just push harder and become more successful just to annoy them:P

L.Jenkins

I empathise with the OP. I'm 25, finishing my degree and I have an extremely stressful home life. There is a difference though. My family are overbearing, create undue stress and anger within the household and I can't take it anymore. They are essentially trying to life their lives through me due to there own misgivings.

I want a successful career, but on my own terms. Yet I will get the few key phrases thrown at me in time to come, "You wouldn't be were you are today, if it wasn't for us!" I need to get away from this shít before I crack up.

Magenta

bornintoscum wrote: »

I choose not to go on the dole, fall preggers with a cheating diseased feud head and settle in a council house.

Emme wrote: »

You're not better than them, you just have different aspirations.

For the love of God, what is this? Wishy washy PC post of the year?

Emme wrote: »

Having a child early isn't such a bad thing but it can make going to college and working your way up the career ladder difficult and that's before you even think of the financial challenges.

Did you even read the OP's post? These people have no intention of working their way up the career ladder. They don't even intend on pissing on the bottom rung of it.

OP, get the hell away from these people. They won't do you any good.

Chuchoter

Magenta wrote: »

For the love of God, what is this? Wishy washy PC post of the year?
.

+1

At the OP, what you've done is amazing and they're just jealous of you. You're not doing yourself any favours by staying around them. You need to move out/spend as much time as possible away from them . If they call you a snob fine, you're better than them. You're going to have the education and career and they can sit around doing nothing the rest of their lives. Be angry with them,you deserve to be angry and don't feel sad and depressed that they're such assholes.

JonathanAnon

OP, could you consider moving away from this constant negative influence... and only see them at weekends.

Danniboo

crayolastereo wrote: »

+1

At the OP, what you've done is amazing and they're just jealous of you. You're not doing yourself any favours by staying around them. You need to move out/spend as much time as possible away from them . If they call you a snob fine, you're better than them. You're going to have the education and career and they can sit around doing nothing the rest of their lives. Be angry with them,you deserve to be angry and don't feel sad and depressed that they're such assholes.

+ 1. Nine out of ten times when people call you a snob it's down to jealousy. Be angry but don't let your anger of bitterness towards these people consume your life they're not worth it.

Babooshka

JonathanAnon wrote: »

OP, could you consider moving away from this constant negative influence... and only see them at weekends.

Or skip the country, and never see them again. I had a friend that had similar issues, her own mother resented her education. She immigrated to the states and doesn't bother with her family, why would you want to use your valuable weekend after studying all week and working hard... to visit your so called "relatives" to get called a scumbag by a three year old. You can't choose your family, but you can abandon them if they abuse you, luckily, it's your god given right. Harden up OP, and use the education you're getting to get as far away from these people as possible, enjoy your life and forget about them. If it hurts get counselling to help, but if you stay in any abusive relationships whether it's spouse sibling or parent, then you only have yourself to blame for not leaving in the end. Go, run leggit...good luck.