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regrets

  • 15-07-2010 10:03pm
    #1
    albeit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭


    Asking 'why?' is something some people always seem to do when they regret something happening. Is it a way to cope with anxiety? Do the people that are asking 'why?' cope better than the people not asking 'why?'


Comments

  • #2
    JuliusCaesar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭JuliusCaesar


    People like to be able to attribute reasons, causes for events. If we can figure out the reason, we feel we have control - we know what to do or how to prevent it happening again. (That's why we invented gods and superstition)

    But ruminating about reasons, especially when we can never come up with a definitive answer, hinders recovery. Sometimes we just have to accept that bad things happen, that we cannot predict them, we cannot prevent them, and that's just the way things are.


  • #3
    Myksyk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,550 ✭✭✭Myksyk


    JuliusCaesar wrote: »
    People like to be able to attribute reasons, causes for events. If we can figure out the reason, we feel we have control - we know what to do or how to prevent it happening again. (That's why we invented gods and superstition)

    But ruminating about reasons, especially when we can never come up with a definitive answer, hinders recovery. Sometimes we just have to accept that bad things happen, that we cannot predict them, we cannot prevent them, and that's just the way things are.

    Agreed. People who ask this in earnest typically believe that life is somehow controlled by a greater force and therefore what happened was decided for them. People who understand that the world couldn't care less what happens to individuals in it and that the chaotic nature of the systems we live in mean that 'bad' or regrettable things are bound to be happening to some people all of the time. It won't sort out your misery about what happened but it won't get you stuck in one place trying to figure out why so and so did this to you.


  • #4
    albeit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭albeit


    Myksyk wrote: »
    It won't sort out your misery about what happened but it won't get you stuck in one place trying to figure out why so and so did this to you.

    Sometimes there is no answer to the 'why' but something else like for example: why did this happen to me? so that I would realise that...(something important about one's life), or so that I would change this and that behaviour or habit...


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