Annual drink'fest'.....how will I cope????

Miss_Ellie

Hi,
I'd love some advice please.
I know there are similar posts on here - but I'm in a little bit of a flap.

I guess I'm a binge drinker - I may not drink for months - then I'll head out, had a good few, I'll never be falling down drunk, I'll behave (well, usually!!). I love my nights out - I love the craic - I love the feeling I get from having a few drinks.

But.............I get the worst hangovers in the world. I won't go into the sordid details but I am unable to do anything but sleep the following day.
Anyhow, I'm totally sick of this - and I am trying, quietly, to give up the drink. I haven't had a drink in about 2 months and I'm fine with that. It is my decision. I am doing it for me because I want to.

Luckily I live in the country, so most of the time I can use the 'I'm driving' reason not to drink. And that is acceptable among people when I'm out.

However, Galway races is around the corner. I have gone there for over 10 years, drank til the wee hours, had the best craic ever. There is a big gang who go and who we meet up with. Everybody drinks.

The advice I need is this:
How do I reconcile going there and not drinking??? I don't know if I'll be able to do it.
I know the comments I'll get when I'm out when I say I'll have a sparkling water - I've heard them all before. (You'll have a real drink, I'm not buying you a water, you can buy that yourself etc etc etc......out loud in front of eveybody!).

Why is it so difficult to not drink in Ireland???? I won't have the excuse of driving, cause I'll be staying over - so how do I get people to not look at me like I'm an undercover spy for the moral police?????

I am seeking help and reassurance here, if at all possible. Also, I know I may be advised (or persuaded) to have one or two drinks - but I know what would happen then. I would say oh hop it, throw caution to the wind, end up drinking for the night, be dying the following day and be totally digusted with meself.

I'm totally nervous.

grace201080

Hi,

As someone in a similar position I know the story too well. Loads of fun but I know the bad hangovers too...both mental and physical torture !

If I were you I would try to arrange other events for the trip such as walks, trips to Conemara, swimming (weather permitting), dinners etc.

You can say you'll buy your own drinks rather than go into rounds which are lethal.

I also think with the big crowds around it may be easier to mingle with a wider group and then the focus will be off you in ways.

Keep your own goals and reasons for not drinking in mind and you will be in fine.

Good luck and HAVE FUN.

Miss_Ellie

Hi Grace,

Thanks for the advice -and support.
Yeah, it is the non-drinkers dilemma I guess......I really want to attend the races, have a laugh - just alcohol free.

I've decided that I'm definately going.
I have a plan or two up my sleeve so that I'll cope when the going gets tough....or the pals get too drunk!!! But I'm so looking forward to being hangover free. :cool:

flahavaj

Just tell people you've given up because of the horrible hangovers - sounds reasonable to me.

bank

Hi

It sounds like you need time to get used to not drinking when you go to events and also your friends may need time to get used to you not drinking but still know you can have the craic. I'm all on for having the choice to drink or not but cut yourself some slack. Its only early days. There would be no harm in telling a wee white lie. If you were on anti biotics for say a kidney infection, you wouldn't be able to drink or for what ever reason. Perhaps the next event you would be strong enough to just say you don't feel like drinking or that you have an important appointment etc the next day and don't want to be hung over etc. good luck

enaekleon

flahavaj wrote: »

Just tell people you've given up because of the horrible hangovers - sounds reasonable to me.

sounds reasonable to u but to the regular crew that will sound 'lightweight' unfortunately

WalterMitty

Say you are off the drink for medical reasons, no need to elaborate. If anyone has a prob with it it's their prob not yours. If they are true friends they will support your decision.

Miss_Ellie

Thanks for all the replies - they are most helpful.
I think Bank got it right saying that I don't know how to deal with not drinking yet. That really is the nub of the issue.
All the people I'll be socializing with will have known me for years and we'll have been enjoying the craic (and especially the drink) at the races for years.
However, I now feel I've got my head around how I'll deal with the night out.
I'll keep you posted..........:)

cue

I agree with Grace. Having fun is always a really good idea. When I was drinking I used to hate having a non-drinker around cos they brought me down sitting there with a face like a long week, but there also used to be a few other non-drinkers who hung around with us and they were different cos they were great crack, great personalities, and we never even questioned their not drinking cos they didn't seem to need it to have fun. Some of them had never drank, some were allergic, some had obviously drank enough in their youth and had given it up. It didn't matter why. The point is, it was only an issue if they were miserable gits, and even then, it wasn't that big a deal. People give way too much weight to what other people, especially drinkers, might think about them. After a few drinks, everyone else would seem drunk to me, despite what they said.
Now that I don't drink, I have the crack as much as I can and then I leave. I don't say goodbye cos I have learned that is not a good idea. Drinkers treat someone who leaves as a personal affront to their own private world, and they will abuse you for trying, yet if you slide away, they will never notice.
Enjoy.

Nemanja91

Say that you are on anti-biotics.

Companero

live in such a pathetically insecure country that you have to LIE to your friends about NOT drinking!

That said, here is the best way to deal with Irish people on this issue:

(1) Buy your own non-alcoholic beer and pour it into a glass at the bar, problem solved. Despite what the guy said above - drinkers cannot actually tell that you're sober unless you tell them. Once you tell them (if they're Irish at least) they get hugely insecure because they think you are judging them, and because they know that the fun of drinking is in fooling theselves that you're being far more witty, fun and interesting than they normally are. As a sober person you're well aware that drinkers are actually less witty, interesting and fun than they are when they're sober.

All drinkers know this, and dont want to be reminded of it. And the more insecure they are, they more they tell themselves that as a non-drinker you are boring and dont know how to have fun. They HAVE to tell themselves this or the whole illusion is ruined.

The advantage is, because alcohol has such a powerfully dissociative effect, people under it's influence are utterly incapable of registering subtle social cues, that show whether you're drunk or sober: If they think you're drinking, they'll consider you great crack and one of the boys, and if they know you're not they'll have to shut you out a little. Obviously, this is only a problem for those who have a problematic relationship with alcohol, which in Ireland is probably about 50-70% of drinkers.

In short, dont ask dont tell. And twiddle your thumbs and wait for Irish people to become proper human beings

Speak Now

enaekleon wrote: »

sounds reasonable to u but to the regular crew that will sound 'lightweight' unfortunately

Tell them you are lightweight that's why hangovers are such a bitch plus they get worse as you get older :mad: Com'on their your friends, they'll move onto the slagging the next person after 2 minutes.

zero_nine

If you don't want to drink...just don't.

My guess is that you will want to drink and you probably will...

Miss_Ellie

Well, firstly, thank you all for the kind advice.

For me the issue with drinking is just getting my head around the fact. Once I do that then I don't usually have any problem.

I went to Galway on Thursday (Ladies Day). I got dolled up to the nines. The atmosphere was electric in the racecourse and it was brilliant walking around checking out all the style and fashion. Great craic. We went to the Champagne tent and then checked out the various bars and tents.

I'd no luck with the horses though!!!

Then we hit the town - which was great.
I did get a few raised eyebrows when I asked for a sparkling water, but I got over it!!
Suffice it to say that by the end of the night I was still going strong...and was a little miserable to have to leave....but my drinking buddies were all hitting the wall....

So, I survived, with no drink. To be honest I didn't even miss it.
Though it did raise an issue that I'd never considered in all of this.....where to park the bloody car without it being clamped or towed!!!!! :rolleyes:

mickman

so miss ellie - after your success are you off the drink for good?

Miss_Ellie

Hi Mickman,

Well, all I can say is that I'm going to try.......

Got a party tomorrow night......so we'll see how it goes.
But I think I'll be ok and I plan to stick to soft drinks.