best scumbag story

D.R cowboy

lonsdale wrote: »

was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...

white poo I am shocked:eek:
Are you sure it wasn't dog you seen!

we need those police in our country to sort them guys out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2Liw_462yA

SEANYBOY1

DOC09UNAM wrote: »

intersting how the locksmith knew every part of the story, even when he wasn't involved.


AH has more imaginary posts than a forum on dreams.

Too many people looking for "thanks".

Too many muppets looking to find smart arse comments IMO

PS thanks you below!

GrumPy

SEANYBOY1 wrote: »

DOC09UNAM wrote: »

intersting how the locksmith knew every part of the story, even when he wasn't involved.


AH has more imaginary posts than a forum on dreams.

Too many people looking for "thanks".[/QUOTE]

Too many muppets looking to find smart arse comments IMO

Broken post is broken.

EDIT: touché

nachoman

Helper Monkey wrote: »

I used to hang out with a few 'scum bags' many moons ago. One night on the way home from town on the infamous 77 the bus was packed so we were upstairs and this fella was standing, anyway did you ever hear the saying 'when you have to go you have to go!'
Anyway this fella took this literally and went for a full bore slash down the stairs, like a river it was flowing down stairs to everyones horror on the bus:eek:

The same fella another night while at the local service station ordered some stuff from this Paki guy and as he was getting the provosions he proceeded to relieve himself into the pay hatch. The poor Paki came back yet he wasnt finished so he continued to empty his bladder with gusto and even managed the obligatory shake at the end, needless to say he made no purchases that night or any other there after that........

More to come................

rofl, oh dear! :pac:

Lillylilly

I was walking down Talbot Street one day and just outside the Supervalu there was a couple, off the nut on heroin, complete with a child old enough to be in school in a buggy. They were having an arguement about something stupid, and the bloke turned to the girl and said "will ya **** off, ya bleedin' mutt, ya!". I still think it was one of the funniest slags I've ever heard!!

Also, was on the bus one day and heard a heroin user draw his friend's attention to a sign on the bus for a 24 Hour Fast that was coming up for Oxfam. He goes "did you see that? The Oxfam Fast. Not like walking fast, y'know... like the food fast thing. Not like a race or anythin. It's just for the day". I was afraid I'd get my head kicked in for all the laughing!!!!

Doom

lonsdale wrote: »

was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...

ha ha yuck! i was in shannon one day few years back, there was a couple of caravans down by smithstown, a girl of about 16 was bending down having a ****é everyone passing could see her.......eeeeeeh:eek:

WallyGUFC

Walking out of McHale Park in Castlebar after Galway getting beaten by Mayo. Strolled past the tinker camp with the auld lad. Tinker, round 10 comes out and starts screaming "HAHA Galway lost!!!"
To which I replied "HAHA I live in a house!"

falan

lonsdale wrote: »

was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...

Thats just reminded me of something similar....


A good few years ago, was in a waiting room when a group of the above came in..2 women, and 5 children.

The kids were running around wild, running across seats and pulling leaflets off the wall and throwing them around the place. The two adults said nothing.

Next thing i went into the toilet and one of them was after crapping on the floor next to the toilet bowl....Fupping disgusting.

Delicate_Dlite

This happened this evening and I instantly thought of this thread.

On a bus from the city centre, a 'lady' around 18-20. was talking loudly on her phone, informed her friend (and the entire bus) that she'd spent the last 4 hours drinking in a pub and asking did she sound drunk (not very to me, but experience dictates if you're asking tht question you are.:rolleyes:)

Then gets another call from a man, during which she says she works for the hearld and has writes her own 'fun page'. Asks him does she sound drunk and then starts shouting 'She needs a piss' 'She needs a good long piss' continues for about 15-20 mins until she announces 'she's pissed her knickers'. :eek: Cue ppl moving seats away from her. Stays on bus and phone, laughing and repeating that 'she's had a piss in her knickers'.

She got off about 10 mins later waddled to the front with her legs tightly closed. Her trousers were literally dripping!:eek:

Not the worst I know, also I'm too tired to be concise. :rolleyes:

Gavin "shels"

Scumbag boxed my mate randomly without knowing there was 6 or 7 of is and well the poor devil ended up in a bad way, not hospital bound because that's wrong but not in a good way.

moonpurple

best scumbag story

ivor callelly told you are not allowed attend the senate for 20 working days cause you took 80000 euros in expenses in questionable circumstances


this scumbag turns up to a senate comittee within 7 days of this verdict

what a scumbag... social welfare fraud.. on a grand scale

VinnyTGM

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

This happened this evening and I instantly thought of this thread.

On a bus from the city centre, a 'lady' around 18-20. was talking loudly on her phone, informed her friend (and the entire bus) that she'd spent the last 4 hours drinking in a pub and asking did she sound drunk (not very to me, but experience dictates if you're asking tht question you are.:rolleyes:)

Then gets another call from a man, during which she says she works for the hearld and has writes her own 'fun page'. Asks him does she sound drunk and then starts shouting 'She needs a piss' 'She needs a good long piss' continues for about 15-20 mins until she announces 'she's pissed her knickers'. :eek: Cue ppl moving seats away from her. Stays on bus and phone, laughing and repeating that 'she's had a piss in her knickers'.

She got off about 10 mins later waddled to the front with her legs tightly closed. Her trousers were literally dripping!:eek:

Not the worst I know, also I'm too tired to be concise. :rolleyes:

Thats fcuking disgusting, did anyone tell the driver.

Odysseus

So many to choose from, it's a pity the CCTV in our clinic isn't audio we would have some great youtube clips. Anyway we where intervening in a dispute between two of our ladies in the car park. Client A screams to Client B "if you come near me again I slit you from your fanny to your throat".

These incidents have to be documented and discussed at our clinical meeting where we would decide what type of intervention we will use to try stop such behaviour. The look on our co-ordinator's face was priceless when she was reading that one out.

Delicate_Dlite

VinnyTGM wrote: »

Thats fcuking disgusting, did anyone tell the driver.

He could hear quite plainly, to be honest, so there seemed little point. Also there was a lady and her little boy sitting close by her, they moved, as the little boy started repeating "I need a piss".

round tower huntsman

when we were kids heading out to dun laoirghe fishing we hopped on the dart. the local junkie,mugger thief and general pest sat beside us....
he said if we didnt give him a pound each he'd "follow us out fishing and ruin our day":eek:
he got his pound of each of us and we had a great days fishing:)

The Express

I've a couple from a few years ago, so here we go.

1. This space out junkie scumbag is in the "crouched position", leaning up against a shop front near D'Olier St, holding a can of Red Bull. Then this wino shunters up, spots the opportunity and grabs the can of Red Bull and proceeds to pour it into a bottle of something he was drinking from. The scumbag didn't bat an eyelid and stayed there, 'grasping' the can.

2. Picture the scene: 11am on a Thursday morning and this scummer on a bicycle veres off the footpath on Eden Quay and collides with a taxi driver.

The driver hops out of the car straight away in a panic and rushes to the front side of the road.

The scummer hops up, runs past the taxi driver and grabs the keys out of the ignition, fcuks them into the Liffey, and hops back onto his bike again and away with him.

duckysauce

VinnyTGM wrote: »

Thats fcuking disgusting, did anyone tell the driver.

what would the driver do ?

me_right_one

WallyGUFC wrote: »

Walking out of McHale Park in Castlebar after Galway getting beaten by Mayo. Strolled past the tinker camp with the auld lad. Tinker, round 10 comes out and starts screaming "HAHA Galway lost!!!"
To which I replied "HAHA I live in a house!"

Brilliant! But ya cant leave it there, then what happened?

peanuthead

Have been meaning to write this for ages, the second funniest thing I ever experienced on a bus.

Will eventually get around to writing the first, but it's so god damn long winded


Anyway

Was on the bus, won't say which one and there were these two scummers down the back, upstairs. They were heading into town to collect some free meal that homeless people get, and were very proud of the fact that even though they weren't homeless. they were going to get this meal.

So after much shite talk the fella (they were a couple) opens up this school bag they had with them. Next of all he lets a roar.

Ah now way, for fcuks sake, your bleedin yoghurt is after buuurstin all over the bag. Now I don't know what else was in the bag, but next of all I hear all this banging. Ferocious banging. I look around, afraid of my life for
1. what i'll see and
2. what they'll say to me for looking.

So anyway, I look around and there's yer wan baiting a hair brush full of yoghurt off the back of the seat in front of her (there was nobody sitting there but I wonder would that have mattered????)

There was yoghurt going everywhere!!!!


Then I see him with a pair of socks in his hands, looking like he had just been given some terrible bad news.

She lets a roar out of her saying "Ah I was lookin forward to that yoghurt and all"

Well I nearly wet myself laughin when he replies back with "Never mind your yoghurt, I was looking forward to me socks"

thebullkf

peanuthead wrote: »

Have been meaning to write this for ages, the second funniest thing I ever experienced on a bus.

Will eventually get around to writing the first, but it's so god damn long winded


Anyway

Was on the bus, won't say which one and there were these two scummers down the back, upstairs. They were heading into town to collect some free meal that homeless people get, and were very proud of the fact that even though they weren't homeless. they were going to get this meal.

So after much shite talk the fella (they were a couple) opens up this school bag they had with them. Next of all he lets a roar.

Ah now way, for fcuks sake, your bleedin yoghurt is after buuurstin all over the bag. Now I don't know what else was in the bag, but next of all I hear all this banging. Ferocious banging. I look around, afraid of my life for
1. what i'll see and
2. what they'll say to me for looking.

So anyway, I look around and there's yer wan baiting a hair brush full of yoghurt off the back of the seat in front of her (there was nobody sitting there but I wonder would that have mattered????)

There was yoghurt going everywhere!!!!


Then I see him with a pair of socks in his hands, looking like he had just been given some terrible bad news.

She lets a roar out of her saying "Ah I was lookin forward to that yoghurt and all"

Well I nearly wet myself laughin when he replies back with "Never mind your yoghurt, I was looking forward to me socks"

you're not maeve higgins by any chance??

peanuthead

thebullkf wrote: »

you're not maeve higgins by any chance??

Nope, lol. I'm not sure if that is some kind of a dig now (you never know on the puter) - did she have some sort of similar skit or story?? Cause this happened.

jordan..

Deleted User wrote: »

He's not a scumbag, just a dickhead

if it hadnt been outside reynards he would have been a scumbag!

peanuthead

jordan.. wrote: »

if it hadnt been outside reynards he would have been a scumbag!

Because scumbags don't go to Reynards?

Smokin_Aces

Some junkie tried to rob my hearing aid while waiting at a bus stop in town. Didn't get far, some auld woman started to ate the head off him.

peanuthead

Smokin_Aces wrote: »

Some junkie tried to rob my hearing aid while waiting at a bus stop in town. Didn't get far, some auld woman started to ate the head off him.

Jeebus, what use would a hearing aid be to him or was he just trying to be a prick?

Smokin_Aces

No idea, he was begging for loose change and I was unresponsive to him so probably thought he'd chance it, and then sell it or something Don't bother wearing them in town anymore in case something similar happens. Long shot I know but gave me a mighty fright.

southsiderosie

Smokin_Aces wrote: »

No idea, he was begging for loose change and I was unresponsive to him so probably thought he'd chance it, and then sell it or something Don't bother wearing them in town anymore in case something similar happens. Long shot I know but gave me a mighty fright.

Wait...someone came up and pulled your hearing aid out of your ear at a bus stop?

?!?!?!

:eek:

WallyGUFC

me_right_one wrote: »

Brilliant! But ya cant leave it there, then what happened?

Well not much else really. The scumkid ran back to some caravan and we kept walking, car was only down the road anyway. I was just glad I showed up the little pr**k...f**king hate scummers!:D

mikerowsopht

I broke into this flower shop to rob some flowers for me ma's birthday but they didn't have her type so in anger I pulled down my panties and left a streaky browner on the floor

McNulty737

http://www.eason.ie/jaceidi/medium/9780091931322

Thats the best scumbag story.

Faith+1

McNulty737 wrote: »

http://www.eason.ie/jaceidi/medium/9780091931322

Thats the best scumbag story.

Agreed!:D

Side Show Bob

Was in the local pub late one night, the owner came in around closing time, just then a very young guy entered looking to buy cigarettes “get out ya little pup” the owner shouted, the young guy who we both knew ran out and away.

The owner asked 3 of us if we wanted to stay back for a drink as it was now closed; when the pub cleared he put up some drinks. After about an hour there was a horrendous bang, glass flew everywhere and another bang. A huge rock almost the size of a football was thrown through the front window.

We ran for the door but could only see a shadow as he ran away, fast then to the cameras and as it was dark we could see this little guy stand up on a park bench which was outside the window, lift up the huge stone and with all of his might hurl it through the window.

A decision was made not to call the local Garda, as we probably shouldn’t have been there and what could he do with an 11 year old.

This guy was quickly identified and was only 11 years old at the time; his brother was also with him, now they are in their early twenty’s. The incident has well been forgotten and they even go into the pub now.
Few weeks ago an Incident happened and the guy who actually threw the rock was put out of the pub he was very drunk and badly behaved, shouted abuse at everyone especially the owner of the pub. When it all settled down the pub owner said to me “Will ya stay back for a pint, I haven’t had one in a while” I agreed and we had a few beers, about 1.30 am our taxi arrived to take us home.
The owner opened a door to the rear of the premises, and there it was; the huge rock, he picked it up, took it outside to the car park and threw it trough the rear window of the guy’s car, looked at me and calmly said always meant to return it to him, the insurance won’t pay for a rear window, will they?

Xavi6

Few years back there was a lad ready to end it all by jumping into the Liffey with a heavy weight around his legs. Guards were called (my mates da included) and tried to talk him down etc. This was outside the Four Courts so at the same time some skanger was being brought in there in cuffs.

As he walked past he looked over and shouted "Here Garda, when he jumps, giz his phone."

Apprently there wasn't a straight face left in the vicinity despite the seriousness of the bloke wanting to jump (they talked him down in the end)

triseke

A couple of months ago, I was heading to Tallaght on the Luas. It was early enough in the morning, probably about 7 am so there wasnt that many people about.

This guy gets on, fairly well dressed, but I didn't pay him much attention. As the Luas left Abbey St, I noticed this horrible smell coming from his direction, it was then that i realised that he was taking a giant dump.

However, he was so drunk he did not pull down his trousers.

He then proceded to look at the rest of us, who were now staring at him horror, and shout "what!? its FRAGRANT!"

The image of his face is not one I'll soon forget.

Elevator

El Weirdo wrote: »

Seriously? One comma in the whole post? Jesus fucking Christ.

to be fair there were actually two

clarke1991

these are brilliant:D

Fulton Crown

lonsdale wrote: »

was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...

Flutterin Bantam Junior ????

Mister men

Rialto late 1990's in the middle of the day.
Scumbag snatchs a backpack from some confused lost looking tourists types and does a runner only to be knocked down no more than 10 yards away by a rigid truck in the middle of the road. Found out later that day he was killed on impact. Karma i guess.

OutlawPete

Mister men wrote: »

Karma i guess.

I heard it was Prada.

Funkfield

Fajitas! wrote: »

I've mentioned this before, but I've still not seen anything more disgusting/scummy. I was on route home from a night on the beer a few years ago, saw a lad in a white tracksuit out cold from drinking. Another lad went up, dropped trou, and squeezed off a poo on his face.

2 Scumbags, 1 Cup Face

Brendog

neilthefunkeone wrote: »

Sitting on the Nightlink a few years back waiting for it to leave the stop at college green.. Across the road there seems to be an exchange of words going on with to little tracksuit wearing scum and a bloke eating some curry chips..

Bloke is walking away but the 2 trackies keep running after him and pushing him.. More people start to notice this and a few blokes start making their way off the bus..

Anyway bloke turns around again but is still backing up.. one of the trackies lunges at him.. and with the finest move i have ever seen the bloke side steps him and stuffs the curry tray into his face and pushes him over.. the other trackie takes a shot at the bloke but is bet with, what looked like, the most powerful kick in the balls known to man...

Every one on the bus is cheering and the curry faced little plank picks himself and his mate up and hobble off down the road..

Bloke just gives a little embarrassed wave to the people on the bus and continues on his merry way!! FANTASTIC!!

superman is alive and well I see...

I_AmThe_Walrus

On the bus:

Scumbag 1: Jaysus, lookeh the Chinese are looking for divers...
Scumbag 2: Jaysus, its the recession...

Paparazzo

A scumbag girl to her boyfriend on the nightlink in a very loud voice:
"when we get home your gonna suck the pissflaps off me"

sensibleken wrote: »

Two junkies sittin a few seats up from me on a bus. We passed a field with a young foal in it. the two start mumbling to each other, gradually getting bit more animated. suddenly one pipes up and shouts at the other

'its not a bleedin antelope!'

I pissed myself laughing

I blew a snot bubble reading that!