never been in a relationship

LegacyUser

i just turned 32 and I have never been in a relationship or even kissed a girl, I have been overweight most of my life and have had really low self estem because of it, I really determined to lose the weight and start meeting girls, I am not necessarly looking for a relationship either just the ability to be able to go out and talk to them in a social scene would do for now, however even though losing weight would give me a big boost in confidence I am still quite weary of the fact I have generally no experience in this area and in worried I will look like a total twat, I feel like I have alot to offer, I have a good job and have repect for everyone I meet but im just worried ill come off as a bit of a weirdo if I get close to a girl because most girls in there 20s and 30s have had a few different partners and would be fairly experienced.

jurgenscarl

My advice is look around you.
Take a good look.
You will see big heavy guys with hot women.
You will see lots of big girls with slim guys with muscles and a six pack.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Lots of beautiful women are really shy and insecure and are not getting enough sex. The men they often encounter repulse them.
Some really good looking guys with good careers and lots of money are rubbish with women.
People are having sex but the sex is really crap, lots of people have lowered their standards out of sheer desperation, can only get the courage to approach the opposite sex when they have drunk buckets of alcohol, many have settled for people they think they 'love' but secretly loath etc etc etc.

You have written this heartbreaking story because you are sick and tired.
'What good is the rule you have followed if the rule led you to this?' is the question you have probably asked yourself.

I have news for you.
Losing weight will not solve your problem.
You are a big guy who is insecure and believe women find you unattractive.
If you lose weight you will simply become a smaller slimmer version of a man who is insecure and believes women find him unattractive.
The real problem is all in your head.
You believe you are unattractive, you believe you will make a 'twat' of yourself and you have made half-hearted attempts or all out onslaughts which failed because you never believed you could actually talk to a woman, kiss her and have a one-night stand or a relationship.
The only person who is judging you is yourself.
Once you stop thinking this way and start seeing yourself as a great guy, who is sensitive, emotional, fun, loving, generous, thoughtful and who loves women, you will become that guy.
Get out there and stop caring what anybody thinks.
If a woman rejects you, so what? Her loss. Move on to the next girl and never ever give up.
Treat it as an adventure.
Go out and as an experiment approach as many women as you possibly can and engage them in friendly banter without going down any overtly sexual route and then move on to the next girl.
You will be pleasantly suprised at how many women will want you to keep talking to them.
They may even shock horror give you their number or take you home to bed without you ever having any expectation of getting results.
Try it and see.
Good luck.

Soul Stretcher

Above post + 1

karaokeman

Here's my advice - Do NOT worry about your weight.
It is actually a proven fact that many people like that are actually much healthier than the very skinny ones.
For the people who are very skinny, usually fat builds up around the heart and this can cause many more problems. This is not as common with people who have a lot of weight.
You may be surprised to know I have met people who did not have a girlfriend until they were in their 30s. Everyone is different and there is a person out there for all of us.
Try to talk with your friends about your worries. Maybe they could invite you to more parties, go to pubs etc. There will always be people who are out there to support you.

Good luck