I like straight girls

LegacyUser

I'm a lesbian in my early twenties. I'm not out, and this may sound really, really silly.

I'm not looking for a relationship, but having a bit of general trouble.

I have never met another lesbian who didn't look like a boy, and I'm just not attracted to men, or to women who look like them. If I wanted to be with a man, I would.

I also don't like the whole 'dying my hair 20 colours at once and pierce everything and get tattoos' look that many gay ladies seem to like.

I like ordinary women. I don't require stunning good looks or anything like that.

I personally wear dresses and make up and would be straight-looking and acting - not even a tomboy.

I don't mean to sound shallow - I really can't help who I'm attracted to. I know I sound terribly unenlightened - but I suppose that's because I am.

My question is this - are there any other lesbians out there who look like typical girls and like girls who look like typical girls?

Canard

Of course there are!

You've probably met tons of them too, and just havent known they were gay. :P

azezil

What you're looking for is "lipstick lesbians". Quite common actually.

wonderfulname

I think I'm fairly ordinary.. and my girlfriends the biggest stereotypical girl EVER, shoes and handbags and makeup everywhere.. ooh and the phrase "pierce everything" made me wince..

Theres no such thing as straight looking, theres only stereotypes.

lushballs

Lots of different types of women & individuals in this Club. Covers the whole range of the 'ordinary' Rainbow

http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/

shoegirl

rock and a hard place wrote: »

I don't mean to sound shallow - I really can't help who I'm attracted to. I know I sound terribly unenlightened - but I suppose that's because I am.

My question is this - are there any other lesbians out there who look like typical girls and like girls who look like typical girls?

YES! You remind me of when I was just freshly out, 18, and went to some womens club in the Parliment. Aside from the fact that they were very mannish they were about 15 years older than me and very cold. I felt very unwelcome and left after barely one drink!

I didn't go to another club for gay women for about another 8 years after that! Oh things had changed in that time.

The trouble with a lot of gay women is that because a lot of fag hags hand around the scene a lot of people wrongly assume if you don't look like a stereotype you must be a fag hag. This couldn't be further from the truth!

But in reality, gay women are just as diverse as anybody else, I do understand how you feel though, I don't think I'm particularly femme but sometimes I have felt like I was on Mars!

st_andalou

I think the fact that you're not out could be stopping you from meeting a range of women.

You meet attractive women every day. How do you know some of them aren't gay?

Wolfe Tone

There are tons of people out there who are lesbians and you would never guess. A few girls I know are and if I was not told I would have never guessed! They don't come with neon signs proclaiming their sexuality!

xxlily87xx

im a lesbian and love my make up and shoes, a typical girl, all my friends is straight so im always in straight bars and when men come onto me and i tell them im a lesbian they usually think im taking the piss.

i know there is a lot of stereotypical types of lesbians out there but believe me there is just as many lipstick lesbians and as one poster said, you've probably came across loads of them but didn't know they were gay.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

It's a relief to know!

As for my use of the term 'straight acting', I know people don't like it, and I'm not the biggest fan myself, but I felt it was an easy descriptive phrase to use in the circumstance! My apologies if I offended anyone.

I also wanted to ask, how homophobic are people really? I hear so many stories about men coming out, but never any about women. I won't be coming out for another few years (with genuine good reason, please don't ask, it's complicated!), but it will happen once appropriate, and I'd like to be prepared.

wonderfulname

rock and a hard place wrote: »

I also wanted to ask, how homophobic are people really?

From my experience, very very few are, more again are wary but accepting, and yet more again don't care at all.

baby and crumble

Well I've never really had a bad reaction thus far- tbh most people at this stage, especially under about 50 are generally grand with it- unless we're talking about staunchly religious people, then it can be more of a problem. But in general, no-one really cares, I find.

Either way, best of luck with it, and I'm glad to see you're doing it at your own pace- you shouldn't be rushed into it.

And on your other point- best place to meet women is in regular life- you'll come across all types of girls, some straight, some gay, some in between, and all attractive in their own ways. The tough bit is lining up the people you find attractive and someone who feels the same back!!!

rainbow kirby

fedor2, I suggest you read the charter before posting again.

witty_name

Read the posts here and couldn't agree more. I'm a typical girl... ALWAYS wearing dresses, bows etc, and when I go out on the scene I'm assumed to be a fag hag.
The worst thing is the reaction when I tell people on the scene I'm gay... I'm forever getting "you can't be a lesbian, you're carrying a bag", or "ah, you're clearly going through a phase, you're wearing a dress".

Drives me nuts but sure... what can you do?

shoegirl

witty - ignore it. Its childish and narrow minded. Lots of gay women are either very ordinary or very girlie. You don't have to act or look like a trucker to love women.

witty_name

shoegirl wrote: »

witty - ignore it. Its childish and narrow minded. Lots of gay women are either very ordinary or very girlie. You don't have to act or look like a trucker to love women.

Haha, thanks. Yeah, I've come to realise that. I know wear my bows and dresses with Pride.