another on line dating question...

shoes34

I had joined an online dating site, and have been in contact with two guys, both seem nice, we haven't met up or anything like that. but one of them asked me last week for my picture which I sent and he said

"If you dont mind me saying but your a lovely looking girl, what has you on here, Are you really single???" and I replied with "oh thanks, yeah I'm single. Just thought I'd give this site a try my friend was telling me she was on it so thought ah sure I'll check it out!" - I am not a vain person and I don't think I am a "lovely looking girl"!!! But I am not insecure either in case you think I came across in messages to him that I was.

Anyway he then asked me was I on fb and I said I was and could we be friends on it, so thought what's the harm so we because friends on fb. Now I am sure he looked at my pictures and some of them are of me with my ex boyfriend and me with other male friends but sure they are all my mates. Now I've hardly been in contact with him, he doesn't e-mail and he has been on fb loads of times. What i really want to know is would it be rude of me to just delete him as a friend on fb as he's not really a friend and I'm not one of those people who aims to 5000 friends on fb.

Or should I mail him and say something but then again what's the point I don't want to come across as a crazy person.

Thanks.

Nevyn

People have a lot more info about themselves on facebook then they do on dating sites and when you made him your friend there you gave him, pretty much a total stranger access to it all.

I would have not given him acces and I would delete him from it.

shoes34

I have nothing personal on my facebook profile, just my name, even stuff on my wall is deleted on a twice daily basis and I don't post stuff , actually really there are only photos on it, I know some people put everything about themselves on it but in all honest I don't, actually his wall/fb page has loads of stuff. I also use the privacy settings and only certain people can see certain photos.

Nevyn

That is a wise way to do it, seem he didn't find what he was looking for, and if he's not in touch and not in your life, then why keep him there as a friend when he'd not even an acquaintance.

newtothis2010

IMO you don't owe him anything, if he's not even bothered to stay in contact with you then its not rude to delete.. in fact it'd prob be wiser TO delete him!

if/when ya do though be prepared for an email from him on the site asking 'why'....

Whilst your fb housekeeping is quite clever I think in future wait til you meet someone and if something happens, be it friendship or more, then accept the request..

I (a guy) tend to reply to the "are you on fb?" question with 'not at the moment'.. which can mean many things to many people but if I'm emailing someone then technically I'm not on fb 'at that moment'...

if it comes up later, well, if someone is not gonna see the lighter side to that comment and make an issue over me not granting immediate access to my virtual world then em... red flag anyone?

Snoopy1

I get this all the time with a dating site. They send loads of messages at first say you're really pretty etc.
Then i give them my facebook account, and you never really hear from them again.
If they havnt sent you a message in a couple of days, i usually delete them off facebook. Its no harm, they cant see your site afterwards, and usually they dont bother to ask why.

Its easier for me to go through facebook, then logging onto a dating site all the time, which is why i give out my facebook page

mrpig

You are probably just rotten.

Nevyn

mrpig permabanned for trolling.

mood

I don't think it's a good idea to have people as facebook friends when you haven't even meet them. Just delete him as a friend.

Maybe he knew some of your friends or something!

Zen65

shoes34 wrote: »

Anyway he then asked me was I on fb and I said I was and could we be friends on it, so thought what's the harm so we because friends on fb. Now I am sure he looked at my pictures and some of them are of me with my ex boyfriend and me with other male friends but sure they are all my mates. Now I've hardly been in contact with him, he doesn't e-mail and he has been on fb loads of times.

Thanks.

So now it's clear he's not bothered about being friends, right? Remove him from your friend list, move on.


Be at peace,

Z

shoes34

mrpig wrote: »

You are probably just rotten.

Without sounding vain - no I'm not. But you obviously know how to boost someone's confidence.

shoes34

mood wrote: »

I don't think it's a good idea to have people as facebook friends when you haven't even meet them. Just delete him as a friend.

Maybe he knew some of your friends or something!

No he doesn't know any of my friends, but I am going to delete him as I don't want people I'm not mates with on my page.

Thanks for all the advice.