Nearly ruined my life

LegacyUser

I went out at the weekend and drank a fair bit, spirits and beer, both of which don't agree with me. Don't go out much and this was my first time drinking in a month or so. Anyway, I was going grand when all of a sudden before the nightclub I blacked out. I ended up messing around in the club and got thrown out for taking off my shirt I think. I was shouting abuse and generally being a terrible drunk which I can sometimes be when I take spirits. Anyway, I apparently pissed off the wrong group of lads and ended up being knocked to the ground by one of them, hitting my head off the footpath. Was brought to hospital on a spinal board in the ambulance and had a glasgow coma scale reading of 3 which if any of you know is apparently very serious. I was unconscious and basically in a coma. My head was bleeding and I was also getting sick. Now I was lucky in that I came around the next day and eventually came to my senses but I will never forget the fear of waking up in a hospital bed, feeling around my body to see what was wrong etc. and then wondering what the hell happened. I have gone on benders before and passed out but this was just shocking. Apart from the stress it put on me, the stress it put on my parents is something no person should ever go through. My father was rang even though I'm nineteen for what I can only presume is because he's next of kin and they were possibly contemplating a worst case scenario.

This is not the life a nineteen year old should be living, in fact anybody. Not only did I nearly ruin my own life but I also took up a valuable hospital bed and hospital resources due to my my own drunken stupidity. Not to mention my parents lives if I ended up in a coma or worse.

It has been a serious reality check and I am 100% willing to make sure it will never happen again. I'm in university and passed all my exams easily enough and got my first job recently and have loads of great friends and everybody generally likes me. I just end up going out and doing something stupid like this then and nearly jeapordising my whole life because of my inability to handle alcohol. It's sickening. I can never understand it. I am a smart, intelligent lad and love my sports and books and films.

Well this is my story and while I expect no sympathy whatsoever I thought I might aswell explain it and ask you what next? I have talked with my parents and explained that I'll never get like that again or let that happen again but is this enough? I just need some advice. Thanks.

Wagon

First off, you didn't nearly ruin your life. To ruin your life you have to do something a lot more serious like murder or something.

Getting pissed drunk, acting the bollocks and getting into a fight for some reason is one of those types of stupid mistakes we all make. And you don't want to repeat it so, what's the big deal? I'm fairly sure you still have your friends, your family. Plus you have a job and are happily in college and it's summertime now too. you seem to be doing grand!

Just avoid spirits next time. They seem to be the thing that set this all off. Stick to the beer for a while and when you feel yourself getting a bit too pissed, have a glass of water and take a break from the booze. It'll give your body a bit of time to digest the alcohol and you won't black out and cause any hassle for yourself or others. Also, you won't be wasting valuable time getting sick when you could be getting a few phone numbers. Think of it like that.

Penn

Yeah, if spirits set you off, don't have any. Like you said, you annoyed the wrong group of lads. If you went out again and got as drunk, you might not meet another group of lads like that. And even then, sounds like they just wanted a fight anyway

But if spirits are causing you to act that way, just don't touch them. And if you feel yourself starting to lose control, take a breather. Even just talking a walk around the nightclub or whatever will help cool you down and you might meet people you know and get talking to them for a while. Help you regain a bit of self control. Or as Wagon said, might meet a nice group of girls rather than a bad group of lads

You're 19 and should be enjoying yourself, but at the same time you are an adult, so you should be showing a bit of self control when it comes to not drinking the things which set you off and lose control

Miss Fluff

130264 wrote: »

I went out at the weekend and drank a fair bit, spirits and beer, both of which don't agree with me.

Avoid spirits and beer then and a find a drink that does suit you. If you can't, you may like to think about quitting altogether if this is what happens when you do drink.

Fox McCloud

You need to know your limits when drinking basically, stick to beer or cider. With spirits you dont know where you are with drink, you feel very sober and then it hits you all of a sudden.

How much pints/cans does it take to get you tipsy/merry/messy/incoherent.. etc. Try and stay in the tipsey/merry state and ignore you friends if they egg you on to drink more. Have a limit and stick to it. 18 or 19 is the age when you test alcohol and see how much you can/cant handle. Take it a very serious lesson well learned.

JonathanAnon

You just need to control your drinking when you're out, and stay out of trouble. Things could have been a lot worse, you got off likely and should be grateful that you got a second chance.. You need to remember what happened that night every time you go out in future and drink accordingly..

tbh

you're 19. These things happen. Learn your lesson, and the experience won't be wasted. You're mortified now, but you'll realise that it's just a part of growing up. Don't be too hard on yourself but don't just ignore it either.

beks101

OP you're 19. If there's any 'good age' at which to act the eejit and make a few silly mistakes, this is it.

You've clearly learned your lesson and have realised that spirits and beer don't agree with you - remember this event the next time you're on a night out and are tempted to lose the run of yourself.

When I was seventeen I was hospitalised for drinking too much on my grad night out, had the stomach pumped, the entire school and neighbourhood knew about it as I was collected by ambulance from my home. I was an otherwise great kid, great student, ambitious, well mannered, extremely motivated and this was just a blip. It's par for the course at your age and as you already know, it could have been a lot worse. Apologise profusely to all the necessary parties and clock it down to experience. You have not come CLOSE to 'nearly ruining' your own life!

28064212

130264 wrote: »

I went out at the weekend and drank a fair bit, spirits and beer, both of which don't agree with me.

Well, first of all, that statement is pretty much bollocks. Alcohol is the only factor here. If you drank the same amount of alcohol via cider, wine, alcopops or any other method, you would have been in the same state. This is an important thing to remember, too many people try to pass events like yours off on the type of alcohol they were drinking, when it's really irrelevant.

Having said that, you do sound genuinely remorseful and aware of the consequences. So you need to change your drinking habits. I don't think even the most hard-core drinking types would say that drinking to the point where you actually black-out or throw-up is fun, the problem is you lose your self-restraint when you get to the point where it still is fun. I would be very careful when drinking, and actively limit yourself. There's a couple of things you can try:

• Go out with an absolute limit on what you can drink, something that's well within your boundaries
• Don't get into rounds with your friends, that's just asking for trouble
• Drink much slower, it's easy to get hammered by just constantly sipping away every few seconds
• Don't order a drink instantly every time you finish one
• Order a pint of water after every two or three drinks instead, it's an excellent way to stay within your limits
• If you're a pint drinker, drink bottles instead. If the bar's busy, you'll end up drinking less to avoid going up all the time

jurgenscarl

You are an alcoholic and you need to enroll with an AA meeting.
You have a serious alcohol problem and you need to get off the booze as soon as you possibly can.
If you don't do anything about this, you will get worse and worse and go to an early grave.
Go to an AA meeting and get yourself sorted.

Wagon

Wagon wrote: »

First off, you didn't nearly ruin your life. .

He was in a serious coma. He could have died. What exactly about that is NOT "nearly ruining his life"?

I would echo what jurgens has said. Nevermind blaming it on "type" of drink and just stop drinking.

bluewolf

bluewolf wrote: »

He was in a serious coma. He could have died. What exactly about that is NOT "nearly ruining his life"?

I would echo what jurgens has said. Nevermind blaming it on "type" of drink and just stop drinking.

+1

He could have easily no longer had a life to ruin. It's good that OP is mature enough to recognise how serious it was and not write it off as nothing.

There has been good advice here, OP. You're really, really lucky. Look at this as a wake-up call.

28064212

jurgenscarl wrote: »

You are an alcoholic and you need to enroll with an AA meeting.
You have a serious alcohol problem and you need to get off the booze as soon as you possibly can.
If you don't do anything about this, you will get worse and worse and go an early grave.
Go to an AA meeting and get yourself sorted.

Did you even read the OP?

130264 wrote: »

Don't go out much and this was my first time drinking in a month or so.

One bad incident does not make someone an alcoholic. There's nothing to suggest that they have a serious alcohol problem, only that they way overdid it one night

jurgenscarl

28064212 wrote: »

One bad incident does not make someone an alcoholic. There's nothing to suggest that they have a serious alcohol problem, only that they way overdid it one night

Classic alcoholic's excuse.
Just 'one bad incident' or 'overdid' it one night.
The OP says he has gone on benders before and passed out.
That's alcoholism written in bright lights.
He is getting routinely drunk and has just got himself in trouble.
He is an alcoholic and he needs help.
He needs to go to an AA meeting and get off the booze.

Eve_Dublin

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Classic alcoholic's excuse.
Just 'one bad incident' or 'overdid' it one night.
The OP says he has gone on benders before and passed out.
That's alcoholism written in bright lights.
He is getting routinely drunk and has just got himself in trouble.
He is an alcoholic and he needs help.
He needs to go to an AA meeting and get off the booze.

He´s not an alcoholic. Take the time to actually read the posts before you come out with this kind of diagnoses based on your own made up facts.

130264 wrote: »

I went out at the weekend and drank a fair bit, spirits and beer, both of which don't agree with me. Don't go out much and this was my first time drinking in a month or so.

OP you´ve learned from your mistake and you won´t do it again. Most people I know had made a tit of themselves in their teens learning how much alcohol they can handle. Most of us learn from those experiences and some don´t...you´re not one of them. Just lay of the spirits and cut down on your consumption generally and you´ll be grand.

d'Oracle

jurgenscarl wrote: »

Classic alcoholic's excuse.
Just 'one bad incident' or 'overdid' it one night.
The OP says he has gone on benders before and passed out.
That's alcoholism written in bright lights.
He is getting routinely drunk and has just got himself in trouble.
He is an alcoholic and he needs help.
He needs to go to an AA meeting and get off the booze.

You are WAAY out of line here.

mikemac

jurgenscarl wrote: »

You are an alcoholic and you need to enroll with an AA meeting.
You have a serious alcohol problem and you need to get off the booze as soon as you possibly can.
If you don't do anything about this, you will get worse and worse and go to an early grave.
Go to an AA meeting and get yourself sorted.

I know the forum we are in but that's very judgemental.
The OP messed up and learned a lesson
They are 19, now is the time to learn these.

The OP is not an alcoholic, just take a break for a while and take it handy on nights out. As said, glass of water or mineral for every second or third round so you last the night

It's that type of preaching that turns people off the AA even if it helps a lot of people

Oryx

Im not going to call alcoholic on this one, op. But you do need to review your attitude to drinking. Its not just spirits, or beer, as has been said. Its alcohol, full stop. You habitually drink till you fall down, that isnt healthy even if its commonplace. You got off lucky this time, but it is a warning to you. If you continue to drink to any level, always keep a check on it. The minute you begin to drift out of your in-control comfort zone, you may need to consider quitting alcohol altogether. Funnily enough it is possible to live that way.

Alcohol has a funny way of allowing us to fool ourselves. The usual excuses are 'everyone drinks like this' 'sure its only one night a week' 'its only beer' 'Im allowed to let my hair down now and again'. And on and on.

You already know you + alcohol = problems. Keep an eye on it, yeah?

Herbal Deity

28064212 wrote: »

Well, first of all, that statement is pretty much bollocks. Alcohol is the only factor here. If you drank the same amount of alcohol via cider, wine, alcopops or any other method, you would have been in the same state. This is an important thing to remember, too many people try to pass events like yours off on the type of alcohol they were drinking, when it's really irrelevant.

Well, it's not really irrelevant. Yes, alcohol is the only factor in how drunk one gets, but when people used to drinking beer on nights out drink spirits instead of or alongside beer, they almost always ingest a hell of a lot more alcohol than they would have normally.

No one seems to have spoken about the fact that you were seriously assaulted. Drinking as much as you did certainly put yourself in a vulnerable position, and you really need to examine your drinking. But the drinking didn't directly put you in hospital, some scumbags attacked you. If your friends have any memory of what they looked like, it might be worth going to the Gardai about?

You expected no sympathy, but I have some for you - not for your drinking so much, but for the fact that you were attacked. I think a lot of people have one or two nights where they overdo it and completely blackout, and while not laudable, most of the time all they have to regret is acting embarassingly, or having to have someone take them home.

You're not an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a well defined medical term and should not be thrown around so casually.

You have two options now - to give up alcohol or to regulate your drinking. Both options should be considered seriously.

If you go with the latter, here're a few suggestions:
- Don't predrink, only drink alcohol you buy in the bar/club (I suspect that you ingested your spirits beforehand in this case)
- Decide on how much you're going to drink before you go out and stick to it - initially, I would keep it at 3 or 4 pints
- To aid the above, only go out with enough money in your wallet to buy that number of drinks
- As mentioned before, get a glass of water or a soft drink between pints if you tend to drink them quickly