Neighbour issue

u_c_thesecond

i live in a square of about 20 houses. we are one of the only houses in the square without children. Theres a little girl of 5 years old who lives just across the square. She is the most brazen child ive ever met with a mouth like a toilet.

The stuff that comes out of her mouth you wouldnt hear from an adult. She once told my partner to "Get the **** out of HER estate". Shes a voilent little bully and had a kid bleeding two weeks ago.I think she gets it off her parents, the police are always over at the house and the parents are always screamin at each other in the street.


I have my nieces stay over every weekend and i dont let them go outside and play with the kids , number 1 because i dont want them associating with that girl(and shes always out) and also due to the fact that my living rooms at the back of the house so i cant keep an eye on them. The last few weeks whenever the kids are staying the little girls calls in asking can they come out and play, now she doesnt know them at all and like i said i dont want them playing with her so i tell her the girls are having dinner/going for a bath/going away etc.

But this morning was just unbelievable. She called to the door and the girls wernt even here, when i told her that she said "Well i want to go upstairs and play with their toys" I said "No those are not your toys and you cant come in bye". Ten minutes later her mother knocked on the door screaming her head off, the whole estate was looking out their doors i was mortified. She wanted to know what the hell was my problem and why couldnt her daughter play with the toys. I was in shock and said basically those toys were my nieces and not hers and i wasnt allowing some child i didnt know into my house to play with stuff that wasnt hers. She hit back with "You have barbies and ponys up on the window ledge your just doing it to tease my child and "i better watch my back" and stormed off. Then when she was half way across the square she turned back and screamed "Im better off not letting her into your house ,your husbands prob a peado"

I am unbelievable mortified the whole estate was out at their door.

Any ideas how i deal with this situation

K_P

:eek: I'm kind of gobsmacked at your post OP and don't even know where to begin.

The parents are obviously nutjobs, and the poor girl (cheeky brat and all as she is) is only following their example. I'm sure everyone else in the estate has had run ins with this family at some point and are well aware of what they're like, so I wouldn't be worried about what the neighbours think.

The fact that she told you to watch your back could be taken as a threat and you could potentially report her to the guards, but all that would probably do is draw her on you more so I wouldn't advise it.

Stay out of their way as much as you can, is all you can really do.

Zeouterlimits

Good lord.
I dealt it with horrible, bullying neighbours when I lived in an estate, so you have my sympathies.
Do you feel comfortable reporting it? It might be worth having the Gardai at least have a record of this in case something happens down the line, especially if it's a small neighbourhood.
Do you feel comfortable talking to any of the other neighbours? I'm sure at least a few will understand.

You were right to stand your ground, proven by the crazy reaction.

sexdwarf

I would be inclined to ring the local station or community garda and ask their advice on this issue OP.

It might be enough just to ask them to make a note of the incident so that if anything were to happen in the future they would have a record of this.

Shouting those kinds of slanderous statements about your partner in the estate is way out of line. If I were you I would avoid confrontation with her at all costs. If she comes knocking, don't answer the door, don't react to her on the street. They sound like nightmare neighbours.

lizzie09

I'm gobsmacked too...what an unholy cheek. Poor you must have got a shock
Keep well away!! Dangerous territory!

MsFifers

OMG The poor child has no chance of a life by the sounds of things.

Sometimes I wonder about turning the tables - what if you gave a present of a toy to the little girl? Say nothing to the mother.

I wouldn't worry about what the other neighbours think - I'm sure they're all well aware of what that family are like.

astra2000

That is unbelievble neighbours from hell or what! But op you have no reason to be mortified you did nothing wrong, imagine how much worse it must be for other people on the estate who have kids and try and keep them away from her on a regular basis. you did the right thing in not letting your neices out to play who would want their children associating with someone like that. I would ring gardai for advice really but maybe for now your best bet is to ignore her. Are the family renting maybe you could complain to landlord I understand what the last poster said about the child having no chance but to be honest the girl sounds so brazen that giving her a presant would be an open invitation into your life. I would stay clear.

metrovelvet

File a report. Eventually she'll get slapped with an asbo.

tenchi-fan

Absolute scum!

It's too bad asbos aren't issued in this country. I'd love to cut their benefits and watch them starve.

metrovelvet

They are. It's a recent thing.

Miss Fluff

They sound like such charming individuals! Am rarely rendered speechless but your post is actually shocking.

Can you see who is at the door without answering? If so I'd avoid answering the door to the girl and her darling mother in future full-stop. Just don't engage with them at all.

dan_d

Wow.I'm speechless.
Ring the Gardai, just for the record. Don't engage with those people again, and don't let your nieces out to play.
I feel sorry for you OP, that's not a good situation.

robby^5

Dont answer the door to them anymore and ignore them going to and from your house. Contact the Gardaí whenever they confront you just so they have a record of any such instances down the line.

Your neighbours dont have to be part of your life at all and you're under no obligation to even acknowledge their existence.

Zen65

Keep a record of this incident, and every other incident that might happen in the future. Write it down on the day it happened, while it's still fresh in your memory. Discuss incidents with the Gardaí, get their advice.

If things ever escalate in the future, it might be an idea to video tape this family's behaviour. You can record anything that you see from your home (or from a public place) without consent AFAIK. Don't make it obvious that this is what you are doing, that will just lead to confrontation.

Be at peace,

Z

BumbleB

sexdwarf wrote: »

I would be inclined to ring the local station or community garda and ask their advice on this issue OP.

It might be enough just to ask them to make a note of the incident so that if anything were to happen in the future they would have a record of this.

Shouting those kinds of slanderous statements about your partner in the estate is way out of line. If I were you I would avoid confrontation with her at all costs. If she comes knocking, don't answer the door, don't react to her on the street. They sound like nightmare neighbours.

I'm sorry to say gardai are completely useless in this country and never want to get involved in this stuff. Theyre only good for checking Tax and speed checks when the weather is nice.A complete and utter joke of a police force.

If you were in the UK it would be totally different ,my brother had an individual damaging his car at night ,the police put up CCTV found out who it was ,apparently it was a virtually blind 80 year man who didnt like when cars blocked his way this man was given the option pay up or go to jail.

I had problems with noisy neighbours and parties ,the guards told to wear earplugs ,well I was wearing earplugs 33 db ones ,the strongest ones you can find and I still could hear them. After 9 months I had enough .I decide to put them in their place after their parties and when they were sleeping I put 4 huge 600 w bass bins against the wall and put a 40 hz freq and go to work,which is similar the sound of thunder.Its also in the "brown " freq range which needs no explaining even to a layman.

When youre dealing with a crazy person like that youre not playing on a level playing field at all there's no win/win .At least when its a sane person they have some kind of logic but a crazy person is a complete wildcard. I worked with a totally insane person the crap that goes through their head is mindblowing.


The only solution is to completely ignore your neighbours.Do not acknowledge or look at. Not making eye contact with a person is one of the strongest things you can do.No attention no interest.Tell them to get off youre property if they come to the door.

niceoneted

Like all the other posters I am shocked.
I would make a report at the local station - explain why you want it on record - you don't want untrue allegations down the line. Explain the whole situation, explain if or why you do not want to pursue it if you don't.
Make sure you make a note of the name of the Guard and date time etc.
I feel sorry for the young child as she is obviously craving any sort of attention but it is hard to step in and give it where you stand - if you were overly nice to her and she went home singing your praises you'd be in bother with the parents too as you would be showing them up. Catch 22 situation.
I would try not to answer the door so not having to engage with them if you know it is them calling.
Best of luck and look at it in a positive way if you can - its only one of the houses. Some people live where they are the one nice household with 19 like your one neighbour.
Best of luck.

January

I'd ring the Gardai and explain what happened. It's a sad world but I wouldn't put it past the parents to concoct some story against your husband trying to lure their child into the house with the toys...

VinnyTGM

Ditto on the Gards, the more evidence you have if something were to happen, you'd be better off for it.

up for anything

MsFifers wrote: »

Sometimes I wonder about turning the tables - what if you gave a present of a toy to the little girl? Say nothing to the mother.

Do not do this. It would not be normal behaviour and in light of her comment about your partner would be used against you.

Steer clear of the woman and don't answer the door to the child again.

u_c_thesecond

hi everyone thanks for the replys.

i have been talking to a few neighbours (2 called to my house to see was i ok) and they said that family have had run ins with half the square for nothing, their little girl has walked into peoples houses without asking on more than one occasion and when the adults told her to leave there was war in the street. Seems to be a regular thing.

No one will open their mouths though because the fathers a real thug, hes been in prision for drugs and assult. In answer to a posters question i cant see whos at my door before i answer it, there is a peephole but im very short and cant see into it.

Im not going to have my nieces stay for a few weeks until i know what she ment by the "watch your back" comment as i dont want them to witness anything. Neighbours have said after an outburst she throws the evil heads for a few weeks and then ignores you.

But its not just that , its the "Peado" comment. Some would say "Oh why would she say that unless she had proof" and im terrified my husbands going to get attacked or somethin.

ncmc

But its not just that , its the "Peado" comment. Some would say "Oh why would she say that unless she had proof" and im terrified my husbands going to get attacked or somethin.

I wouldn't worry about that OP, if she has had run in's with half your neighbours, then no-one is going to take anything she says seriously. She sounds like she is a completely unhinged person and all your neighbours know this, so they aren't going to listen to anything she says. What an awful thing to happen to you and your husband though. It's sickening when these scum bags can make you feel like a prisoner in your own home.

I would agree with the previous poster, have absolutely no contact with her and her daughter, don't make eye contact, don't salute her in anyway. She will soon forget about you and move on to the next target. I would seriously consider lowering the peep hole in your door so you can make sure you're not answering the door to either of them.

I would be slow to get the guards involved though, if they called round to her, she would more than likely figure out who called them. If she is as unstable as she sounds, I would worry about the repercussions of calling them. Good luck OP, hopefully this will blow over in a few weeks (bet you're counting down the days til schools back!)

BumbleB

Two types of people you should absolutely never have any interaction with is Druggies and Pikies ,none of them have any kind of logic or sense of morality.

Get another peephole drilled its not a difficult thing to do if its a wood door ,video here http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-fit-a-peep-hole.

OwenM

You must make an official complaint to the gardai, they won't act on it if you don't want them to but the record is then official.

To deal with this everyone else must do the same, report every incident, every time, build an officially recorded history. The guards might get annoyed with people doing this but push them to do it (threaten to report the guards themselves) When something serious happens and it is all reviewed together the scale of the problem is undeniable.

Also: get a diary and record all this day by day, you don't have to write something down every day but remember, don't tear out any pages and don't use any tippex. (Important when going to court).