Paddy Irish man jokes

laugh

Did you and your friends tell each other these jokes when you were younger?

They always consisted of Paddy English man, Paddy Scots man and Paddy Irish man with Paddy Irishman coming out as the idiot making the stupid choice.

Why did we tell these jokes to each other and would any other people take the piss out of themselves in this way?

Did the English devise these jokes?

orourkeda

Paddy me bollix

Biggins

laugh wrote: »

Did you and your friends tell each other these jokes when you were younger?

They always consisted of Paddy English man, Paddy Scots man and Paddy Irish man with Paddy Irishman coming out as the idiot making the stupid choice.

Why did we tell these jokes to each other and would any other people take the piss out of themselves in this way?

Did the English devise these jokes?

No. we did most of the time I suspect.
I think its great that we can laugh at ourselves. Moving on...

orourkeda wrote: »

Paddy me bollix

You know some people pay good money for that to be done to them!

OutlawPete

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.

Paddy Englishman says:

"I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought 300 quids worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in!"

Paddy Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker:

"Just last week, she went out and spent £17,000 on a new car, and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

Paddy Irishman nods wisely, and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber:

"Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife recently left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a cock!"

The Valley

OutlawPete wrote: »

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.

Paddy Englishman says:

"I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought 300 quids worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in!"

Paddy Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker:

"Just last week, she went out and spent £17,000 on a new car, and she doesn't even know how to drive!"


Paddy Irishman nods wisely, and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber:

"Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife recently left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a cock!"

pure class

arybvtcw0eolkf

Racialists.

mikom

Paddy Irishman walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

MonkieSocks

An irishman calls up his lawyer and asks.

"Wit all dem lawsuits goin' on I'm feelin' kinda left out.

How do I get in on some of dat action?

I hears dat people are suin' da cigarette companies 'cause dey got cancer and others are suin' the Big Mac company cause dey got themselves fat and all kinds of stuff"!!

His lawyer asks "And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

The dear old paddy, God bless his soul, answers...

"Neider sor,

I just wanna know if I can sue Guinnise for all dem ugly women I woke up wit..."

warrior00

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman all die on christmas eve. To get into heaven St Peter says "U must have something on u that represents christmas". The english man flicks on his lighter and says its a candle, St Peter lets him pass. Welshman pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they are bells, St Peter lets him pass. The Irish man pulls out his 12 inch cóck and saint Peter says "How does that represent christmas!" Its a cracker isnt it!

deise go deo

Paddy englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy IRAman have entered a compition, The challange is they must go up in an aeroplane and drop their most prised posesion out to win ten grand. Paddy englishman goes first, he has to drop out his prise winning rose, he goes up and drops it out and wins his money, later on when he is walking on the ground looking for whats left of his rose he comes across a young woman crying inconsoleably, he asks her whats wrong and she she says that she saw a beuityfull rose falling from the sky, she tried to catch it but it hit the ground and all the petals blew away, Next it is paddy scotsmans turn, he must drop his bottle of vintage wheisky. he goes up anyway and dropes it out, later he sees an old man crying his eyes out, he asks him whats wrong and the old man sais he saw a bottle of wheisky falling from the sky but when he tried to catch it, it smashed on the ground. Finally it was paddy IRAmans turn, he had to throw out his favourite pipe bomb, he went up and threw it out and got his money and later on when he was walking along the ground he saw a young fella laughing his head off, he went up to him and asked him what was so funny, the young fella said that he had farted and the shop behind him blew up.

sensibleken

Paddy englishman, paddy irishman and paddy scotsman all walk into a pub and the barman say 'Is this a joke?'

sensibleken

paddy enlishman, paddy irishman, paddy scotsman all go to the playground. the attendend tells them that the slide is magic and whatever they ask for will be granted.

the englishman is first to go and shouts 'GOLD' as he goes down the slide.
the scotsman is next and shouts 'Whickey' as he goes down the slide
the irishman is last and shouts 'WHEEEEEEE!'

OutlawPete

laugh wrote: »

Why did we tell these jokes to each other and would any other people take the piss out of themselves in this way?

This thread should have been left in After Hours.

The OP clearly wanted to discuss how the Irish could laugh at themsleves and wondering if other cultures could to.

Any chance a Mod could move this back?

ron_darrell

How about we leave the thread here (I love 3 Paddy jokes ) and create a new one in the after hours forum?

OutlawPete

ron_darrell wrote: »

How about we leave the thread here (I love 3 Paddy jokes ) and create a new one in the after hours forum?

I'm sure they are loved in AH too.

The thread would have had discussion on the topic and jokes also.

Now there is no chance of that happening.

deise go deo

Well where im from the joaks were generally changed to make paddy englishman the fool if that helps?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Why did Paddy Welshman commit suicide? Because no one would ever have a joke with him.

Bottle_of_Smoke

deise go deo wrote: »

Well where im from the joaks were generally changed to make paddy englishman the fool if that helps?

Yeah an often paddy irishman 'wins' the joke here

sensibleken

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman haven't see each other for a year so they meet up for a drink.

During the year all of them have had a son. Paddy Englishman says: "It's funny cause my son was born on Saint George's day so we ended up calling him George."

Paddy Scotsman says:"Man that's strange cause my son was born on St. Andrew's day and we called him Andrew."

Paddy Irishman says: "Jaysus that's exactly the same thing with my son Pancake"

Slidey

Paddy Scots man, Paddy English man and Paddy Irish man are all working on a skyscraper and having their lunch.

Paddy Scots man opens his lunch box, ''fcuk sake, ham sambos again, I swear if I get them again tomorrow I will jump off this building''

Paddy English man opens his lunch box, ''fcuk sake, corn beef sambos again, I swear if I get them again tomorrow I will jump clean off this bloody thing''

Paddy Irish man opens his lunch box, ''fcuk sake, spam sambos again, I swear if I get them again tomorrow I'm gonna leap to me death''

Next morning and they are having the lunch.

Paddy Scots man opens the lunch box, looks inside, tosses it over his shoulder and jumps to his death.

Paddy English man opens his box and finds corn beef again and falls to his death.

Paddy Irish man opens his box, takes a bit of his spam sambo and follows the other 2 to the footpath 10 stories below.

The wives decided to have a joint funeral for the 3 friends and afterwards were discussing what happened.

Paddy Scots wife said, 'if only I had known, I'd have made him something different.

Paddy Englishmans wife said 'I was sure he loved Corned Beef... if he had just said...''

Paddy Irishmans wife said 'that dozy bollocks made his own sambos...'

deise go deo

Paddy Irishman Paddy Englishman and Paddy scotsman were walking in the forest.

After about half an hour they see a lepricaun up ahead.
Paddy Irishman stoped the other two and said, If we play our cards right we could get that little fellas pot of gold.

they sneak up behind him and catch him.
Paddy Irishman says, Now me good fellow, we cought you fair and square, so wheres your pot of gold?
The lepricaun thinks for a minuet and then says.
Thats not how it works, you have only half the work done.
If you want me pot of gold youl have to think of a task I cannot do.
Who ever can think of it will get the gold.

Well not expecting this, they took some time to think.
Paddy Englishman went first. He said. The task I have for you is to put niagra falls in front of my feet.
The lepricaun shouted FIDDLEY DEE, YOU CANT TRICK ME
He snaped his fingers, the trees cleared away and Niagra falls came up in front of his feet.

Paddy Scotsman went next. He said right so, the task I have for you is to put mount Everest in front of my feet.
The Lepruchan shouted, Fiddly DOO, I'LL BEST YOU.
He snaped his fingers, the trees cleared away again and mount everest come up in frony of his feet.

Well Paddy Irishman had been watching all this and reckoned he could trick the lepricaun. He steped forward, Lifted his leg, Left off a loud fart and said, 'Nail that to a feckin tree'.

ScareGilly

Slidey wrote: »

Paddy Scots man opens his lunch box, ''fcuk sake, ham sambos again, I swear if I get them again tomorrow I will jump off this building''

Paddy English man opens his lunch box, ''fcuk sake, corn beef sambos again, I swear if I get them again tomorrow I will jump clean off this bloody thing''

Didn't know Paddy English Man and Paddy Scots Man were from Coolock too :rolleyes:

mcdoogle

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Claudia Shiffer are on a train in Germany. The train goes through a tunnel and the compartment is thrown into darkness. There is the sound of a smack and a few seconds later the train reemerges into daylight revealing Paddy Englishman is clutching his bleeding nose...

Claudia thinks to herself that Paddy English man must have tried to kiss her but got Paddy Irishman instead and got a punch in his face for his trouble.

Paddy English man is thinking that Paddy Irishman must have tried to kiss Claudia and she lashed out and got him by accident.

Paddy Irishman is thinking he cant wait for the next tunnel!!

slimjimmc

Paddy the Englishman, Paddy the Irishman and Paddy the Scotsman were arrested for fighting on the Isle of Mann and sentenced to 10 lashes of the Cat of Nine Tails. As they lined up side by side for their punishment they were each allowed to throw something soft on their back to help dull the pain.

Paddy the Englishman says "Throw a glorious English woollen blanket on my back and give me my ten, damn you"
Paddy the Scotman says "Throw a finest Scottish tartan on my back and give me twenty, Aye"
Paddy the Irsihman says "Throw that Englishman on my back and lash the hell out of me all day"

condra

I didn't think I would get so many laughs out of this thread as I did. Nice one!