abortion issues

LegacyUser

previous thread was closed but i will give more info here as im looking for opinions not solicitors advise. my gf was pregnant recently, she wanted to keep it but i didn't. my life is crazy at the moment, debt and work issues and i couldnt cope with having a baby. things were hard between us but i know she loves me and would do all she could for me so i pushed her into having an abortion. afterwards i talked to her a lot less and i didnt meet her coming back although i had said i would. she now says that she is suicidal and its my fault and is threatening to go to gardai with what i have done unless i 'man up' and support her with what shes going through.

any advice or opinions are welcome

Nevyn

You put pressure on her to terminate the pregnancy and made promises to her,
and not only did you not accompany her, you broke your promise, didn't meet her as arranged
and now are essentially dropping her cos you don't want to deal with her or the fall out?

If I am wrong please do correct me.

metrovelvet

What you did was disgusting, but not illegal.

There is no law that says you have to be there for her.

I'm confused. Did you travel with her or not show up at the airport?

Who took her home from the clinic?

Do you have any idea what you have done?

Chinafoot

anyone? wrote: »

previous thread was closed but i will give more info here as im looking for opinions not solicitors advise. my gf was pregnant recently, she wanted to keep it but i didn't. my life is crazy at the moment, debt and work issues and i couldnt cope with having a baby. things were hard between us but i know she loves me and would do all she could for me so i pushed her into having an abortion. afterwards i talked to her a lot less and i didnt meet her coming back although i had said i would. she now says that she is suicidal and its my fault and is threatening to go to gardai with what i have done unless i 'man up' and support her with what shes going through.

any advice or opinions are welcome

So you basically manipulated the situation to your advantage by playing on her love for you and now treat her like something you stepped in.

Even now you're only concerned with whether or not she would have a legitimate complaint to the Gardai. No what you did isn't illegal, it is however completely disgusting and my advice would be for you to leave this and all other women alone until you can actually be an adult.

LegacyUser

im not asking about being there for her but by pushing her into an abortion was this illegal?

its not just that i dont want to be there for her, i feel i cant.. my life is hard to you know

LegacyUser

Chinafoot wrote: »

So you basically manipulated the situation to your advantage by playing on her love for you and now treat her like something you stepped in.

Even now you're only concerned with whether or not she would have a legitimate complaint to the Gardai. No what you did isn't illegal, it is however completely disgusting and my advice would be for you to leave this and all other women alone until you can actually be an adult.

she doesnt want to leave me alone. she thinks she needs me. i told her to go to counselling

Neyite

what, specifically, do you want advice on?

how to support the girl you manipulated into an abortion she didnt want and is now falling apart, due to your lack of support?

or

what your legal position is regarding her threats to go to the gardai?

is this about her, or you?

Agent J

This might get me in trouble but i dont care.

Man the f**k up.

I doubt your support would be in anyway useful on an emotional level but you can pay for counselling or basically do whatever she needs.

Want to know what she needs? Then ask her.

You have debts? Boo-hoo. Find a way.

You got your way. The least you can do is help this woman with the aftermath before you dissappear out of her life.

Lollipops23

Ok so apart from the emotional and mental fallout this girl has to cope with,you allowed her to go through the actual termination alone...?I mean she had to go abroad to a clinic and come home after completely alone...?AND you stood her up at the airport?I'm speechless,honestly I am.


So basically because you have some stuff going on (debts,lack of security in your job,which btw 90% of Ireland has in common with you) you talked her into a termination,something that should never been taken lightly, and now you're simply worried she may have a case against you?just....wow......


For what it's worth,I doubt she does have a legal case. But I do hope for her sake she learns what kind of person she is with.

LegacyUser

great thanks.

i thought beause its illegal here that talking her into it might be an illegal act.

i might have gone with her but she got cold feet and then changed the days.

ive got my own problems i cant support her.

LegacyUser

OP I cannot actually believe this thread you have made. You sound utterly selfish, cruel and manipulative. How can you take what you have put this women though so lightly? I MEEN standing her up at the airport!

So you have problems in your life....don't we all? I am sorry OP but the predicament this women is in IS your problem too. If you have any sense of decency at all, do what ever you can to help her. Although from the sound of your post, I doubt you will, because it sounds very like you are one of those unpleasant individuals we all unfortunately come across occasionally who doesn't have any sense of decency at all.

Nevyn

I am locking this thread at this point.

If you life is really so messed up you can not get together the courage to help your ex partner then you life must be in a very sorry state and I hope you get help for yourslef
and that she manages to put her life back together with out you and that neither of you are consumed with hate, bitterness and regret in year to come when you think back at how young and foolish you were.