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People pleaser

  • 27-07-2010 1:03am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have an inability to say no.
    Had a job, long hours and did ok at it.
    Team leader and managers were fair and on the ball. I respected them greatly.

    But I had a tendency to constantly do absolutely anything for praise like work through my lunch, 10 hours day without a break, basically act the martyr and kill myself when there was no need at all.

    I took on work I could not handle, often causing trouble in the end as I struggled.
    I'd say acting the martyr is describing it well.
    I took on work that had nothing to do with me, sure it was noted and got decentish appraisals but not much at all.

    On the other hand, if I was criticized I'd be devastated. Losing sleep over the smallest, stupid things as I was so scared of letting people down and not being "good enough"

    Mostly throughout out the day I'd be beating myself, "I'm not good enough, I'm a fraud, everyone else is better then me so I better outperform everyone."
    "If I'm not the best then I'm worthless, "I could reduce myself to tears at the drop of a hat just by thinking I was not good enough.

    Ending up quitting my job as I felt I was letting everyone down and everyone was better off without me. No dole, have savings and lots of jobs in my area so I'll get something

    Most definitly, my team leader said I had little confidence in myself and when I knew what to do I was not decisive.
    So working on confidence.

    But is people pleasing part of this? I'm just trying to make sense of this all so I can improve myself.
    Oh, I did see a GP, I'm not on any medication or anything, never have been


Comments

  • #2
    tenchi-fan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    My dad had a habit of criticising everything I did, so when I started work I found myself being unnecessarily hard on myself.

    You just need to tell yourself that, if you are putting the work in and meeting your targets, and generally trying your best, no one expects any more from you!

    As for being the best, you're not! And here's why...
    Who do you think will be more successful.. the person who works 10 hour days without a break and ends up burning out? Or the person with the good work-life balance who takes their break entitlements and leaves work at 5pm sharp?


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