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I farted during a massage today

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1235

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    #122
    FLCP
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭FLCP


    I once spent a 7 hour flight farting pretty much constantly, thought I was getting away with it because the background noise was so loud and was in a B/C seat so had a privacy screen - after a particularly bad one the screen comes down and my neighbour leans over and wafts a newspaper in front of her face while staring at me with face like thunder. Can't help it though, planes make me fart.


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    #123
    Apple Butt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭Apple Butt


    The best farts are when a little pea size bit of poo comes out with it.


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    #124
    jackiebaron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,038 ✭✭✭jackiebaron


    kfallon wrote: »
    I do Dutch Ovens too.........


    What are they, might I ask?


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    #125
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Let a 'Grade A' fart go under the duvet then push your head under to smell it!

    You must (and I stress the word 'must') mark my fart out of 10, 10 being the smelliest!


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    #126
    Luxie
    Registered Users Posts: 707 ✭✭✭Luxie


    Colleague farted in front of me today. I laughed.


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    #127
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Luxie wrote: »
    Colleague farted in front of me today. I laughed.

    That's the spirit....


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    #128
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kfallon wrote: »
    Let a 'Grade A' fart go under the duvet then push your head under to smell it!

    You must (and I stress the word 'must') mark my fart out of 10, 10 being the smelliest!

    I went out with someone like you. Not attractive at all!


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    #129
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    I went out with someone like you. Not attractive at all!

    Don't go comparing me to others, I'm the perfect gent apart from the above!


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    #130
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kfallon wrote: »
    Don't go comparing me to others, I'm the perfect gent apart from the above!

    How old are you?


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    #131
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    How old are you?

    Is that a rhetorical question???

    I'm 31!


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    #132
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kfallon wrote: »
    Is that a rhetorical question???

    I'm 31!

    And you still think dutch ovens are funny? I take it you're single :P


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    #133
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    And you still think dutch ovens are funny? I take it you're single :P

    Lets just say that there's been nobody to inspect my 'oven' for the last couple of months :D

    I never said they were funny either, they are just a fact of life!


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    #134
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kfallon wrote: »
    Lets just say that there's been nobody to inspect my 'oven' for the last couple of months :D

    I never said they were funny either, they are just a fact of life!

    Maybe your oven needs a good cleaning out if they smell so rank!


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    #135
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    Maybe your oven needs a good cleaning out if they smell so rank!

    It's not the oven, it's what I'm baking :D


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    #136
    Menengroth™
    Registered Users Posts: 920 ✭✭✭Menengroth™


    could we please stop talking about kfallon's colon, cheers.


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    #137
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Menengroth™ wrote: »
    could we please stop talking about kfallon's colon, cheers.

    Wanna talk about yours instead? Ever had a colonic irrigation?


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    #138
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Has anyone ever tried them? I'd say you feel really empty after one, like you've had the biggest dump of all time.

    On the negative side I don't want anything up my bum....besides Kiera's finger :eek: :D

    Joke!


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    #139
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kfallon wrote: »
    Has anyone ever tried them? I'd say you feel really empty after one, like you've had the biggest dump of all time.

    On the negative side I don't want anything up my bum....besides Kiera's finger :eek: :D

    Joke!

    I'd say the Flutt has had a few......

    *sneaky finger*


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    #140
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kiera wrote: »
    *sneaky finger*

    That's the shot....just one mind :D


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    #141
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Ok enough is enough... can we stop before she starts tossing his salad?


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    #142
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    steve06 wrote: »
    Ok enough is enough... can we stop before she starts tossing his salad?

    What's lunch got to do with it :D


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    #143
    Eircom_Sucks
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    Kiera wrote: »
    Wanna talk about yours instead? Ever had a colonic irrigation?

    yeah i made a diy one

    lenght of hose , luke warm water and poured it into a funnel and then sprayed all around the back garden , the paint job was immaculate :)


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    #144
    Eircom_Sucks
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    Kiera wrote: »
    And you still think dutch ovens are funny? I take it you're single :P


    says the lady whos on a fart topic trying to pull guys :)


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    #145
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Eircom_Sucks wrote: »
    says the lady whos on a fart topic trying to pull guys :)

    I have a guy.


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    #146
    timelessone
    Registered Users Posts: 42 ✭timelessone


    I let a profound one go in work about six years ago.

    It was evil to it's core and some of the girls had to ''step out'' for a few moments.

    I managed to pin the blame on the office heavy while she was outside though and got clean away.


    I never forgot that fart though.....................you live on in my memory.


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    #147
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Kiera wrote: »
    I have a guy.
    then you're just being a tease! :D


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    #148
    Eircom_Sucks
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    Kiera wrote: »
    I have a guy.

    lucky guy being with a classy gal in all :)

    do you fart in bed with him :)


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    #149
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Eircom_Sucks wrote: »
    lucky guy being with a claddy gal in all :)

    do you fart in bed with him :)

    Girls dont fart or poo.


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    #150
    Eircom_Sucks
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    Kiera wrote: »
    Girls dont fart or poo.

    fanny fart oh yes u do :)


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    #151
    jackiebaron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,038 ✭✭✭jackiebaron


    kfallon wrote: »
    Let a 'Grade A' fart go under the duvet then push your head under to smell it!

    You must (and I stress the word 'must') mark my fart out of 10, 10 being the smelliest!


    I off out to buy the ring now :pac: :D


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