You Control Ireland, What Would You Do?

starbelgrade

1. A complete overhaul of the planning system & a complete rethink of zoning policies.

2. Major investment into public health & education systems.

3. Introduce third level fees for those who can afford them & scrap their grants.

4. A complete overhaul of the Social Welfare system as it is outdated & unfair.

5. Get rid of unvouched expenses for all politicians, reduce their expenses severely and reduce their wages to match the average industrial wage.

6. Overhaul the Public Sector - get rid of the deadweight, introduce performance related wages, abolish "jobs for life" & employ all staff on contract basis which would be subject to bi-annual reviews.

7. Scrap the plans for Metro North.

8. Major investment into the roads network in the West of Ireland.

9. Take the running of all schools out of the hands of the Church & put them into the care of the State. Also make all schools non-demoninational, with the option of extra curriculum teaching of all religions for those who want it.

10. Have a referendum on the Irish language to decide on whether to keep Irish as an official language. This would decide if we could scrap the grant system to Gealtacht areas & make Irish an optional language subject in schools.

11. Employ a team of the best economists to try & figure a way of making Ireland a more competitive country. (I know my own limits!)

12. Introduce a tax on unhealthy foods & use it to subsidise healthy foods.

14. Increase spending on community facilities for sports.

15. Introduce a scheme to help people in severe debt.

That'd be what I would do in the first week.

Mike 1972

Dunno why people on this seem to think that pointing out a flaw in someones proposal (even where one doesnt have an issue with the overall intent behind such a proposal) confers on one an obligation to come up with something better.

I_AmThe_Walrus wrote: »

Students with genuine illnesses will be accommodated for. Have you a solution to better a well oiled machine? Tell us.

Have the LC exam twice a year so people would have the option of sitting/repeating it in December or June

starbelgrade wrote: »

Have a referendum on the Irish language to decide on whether to keep Irish as an official language. This would decide if we could scrap the grant system to Gealtacht areas & make Irish an optional language subject in schools.

Not disagreeing with the measures you propose here but the assertion that the current constitutional status of Irish requires these things is not correct.

del88

As the suprem leader i'd ....

1. Annouce a week of gladitorial games at croke parc (or as it's now know......might dell parc) other public spectacles will be held there, such as mock sea battles, pikie hunting, finna fail executions , re-enactments of the suprem leaders famous drinking sessions, and dramas based on classic episodes of family guy..
2. Take miriam o'callaghan as my wife.
3. Built a peace wall around cork (all the way around...no gates)
4. Reduce the amount of days in the week to 6...i fécking hate tuesdays
5. Encourage more swedish exchange students .
6. Ban rugby.
7. Build a statue of the suprem leader to replace the dail.
8. Move dublin airport to aviod accidents invoving the suprem leaders collection of rare falcons.

Thats all for now......
All hail del88 :cool:

RachPie

One hell of a lot to think about, but basic facilities like health, education, etc. would get top priority in my book.
First thing I'd do is radically overhaul the HSE.

galwayrush

First thing i'd do is get rid of those useless quangos.

EvilMonkey

I_AmThe_Walrus wrote: »

2) Dissolve the military.

We're neutral so no need for an army as such will give extra funding for the new Educational system. Current personnel will be integrated into the Gardai with other area's of qualifications being placed in their particular careers outside the military.

No guns, no weapons, no tanks, no planes, no aggression - Just Peace and Love.

Eh, you needed the army to execute your coup and presumably would need it to protect your dictatorship.

Probably best not to tell the Commanding Military General about step 2.

Mike 1972

EvilMonkey wrote: »

Eh, you needed the army to execute your coup and presumably would need it to protect your dictatorship.

Is there any country in the world which doesnt have an army ?

Mal-Adjusted

amalgamate Cork county with one of it's neighbors, a county heretofore known as "Giant Waterford"

Divide Tipperary up a few times to appease all the 32-county people

I_AmThe_Walrus

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Not disagreeing with the measures you propose here but the assertion that the current constitutional status of Irish required these things is not correct.

I'd say that the current constitution would have been pissed on by now. I guess, we're starting from scratch so buckle yourself in...it's going to be some ride (literally).

starbelgrade wrote:

A complete overhaul of the planning system & a complete rethink of zoning policies.

Introduce a tax on unhealthy foods & use it to subsidise healthy foods.

Very interesting.

The planning and zoning policies are a main concern. I particularly was intrigued by your food suggestions.

I_AmThe_Walrus

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Is there any country in the world which doesnt have an army ?

Costa Rica.

veryangryman

Ok here goes...Remember its my first day on the job so go easy on me!!

My programme for governement would include as main priorities...

1) Moron tax for anyone who uses phrases like "mandate to govern", "going forward" or "these recessionary times"

2) Homophobic tax - €2000 for any guy who touches off another guy accidentally in a nightclub. Also €1000 tax for the "touched" guy for not getting out of the way

3) Trouser tax for girls - €100 for a full length trousers. This halves to €50 for a skirt. The shorter the skirt, the bigger discounts available. Tax works other way around for girls who get less than 6 marks out of ten

4) Further to the previous step - A ratings system for girls out of ten approved by government. FYI If your reading this, check between your legs. If you dont spot a rod there, your probably a 7. The tax take from the previous 3 steps will fund the ratings system, perhaps even introduce quality control

5) Noel Dempsey Dartboards for every pub in the country to regenerate visits to the pub. Anyone who gets his eye gets a "get out of jail" ticket to the pub.

6) Introduce "Get out of jail free" tickets for smokers who are allowed one night of smoking inside for this ticket. Incentives like #5 above to earn said tickets

7) Replace Sharon Ni Bhaolean with Claire Tully. Sharons not had that same sparkle in her eye as she stares at me all flirtingly since she had the kids.

8) Introduce entrance music for myself - well start with this baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw

9) Make it illegal for the public to not have at least one soliloquouy per day to reflect on the happenings and inner thoughts in their mind a la this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw9UJPgGoDw

10) Introduce top 9 lists to replace top 10 lists for slackers like myself who cant think of a 10th policy


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcbStTC8tAQ

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Is there any country in the world which doesnt have an army ?

As far as I know Switzerland doesn't have an army which is why all of its citizens must own weapons and and go to a firing range at least once a year because under the Geneva convention all countrys must be able to defend themselves

I_AmThe_Walrus

Next, the Healthcare System needs to be turned on it's head, using the French model. WHO has placed France as the best Health system in the world. Free universal healthcare with latest technology and equipment to diagnose and treat illnesses of every distinction. Foreign nationals flying in for treatment will pay though.

Healthcare will be funded by tax on liberal's recreations.

gu10

Mandatory gun ownership for all

A fully automatic shotgun for every house and a handgun for everyone over 16 which they must carry on them at all times

I_AmThe_Walrus

gu10 wrote: »

Mandatory gun ownership for all

A fully automatic shotgun for every house and a handgun for everyone over 16 which they must carry on them at all times

Do you think this is necessary? :eek:

gu10

I_AmThe_Walrus wrote: »

Do you think this is necessary? :eek:

No but crime should drop rapidly once the initial horde of scumbags kills each other off

bnt

I_AmThe_Walrus wrote: »

If we put bricklayers to one side for a moment and concentrate on medicine for example...a graduated student must remain in Ireland for an amount of time to work in the Health Sector in this country. I was in the Mater a few months ago and I didn't see one Irish member of staff there, except the receptionist, of course.

Well, I can't say the same about St. Vincent's - the only non-Irish person I saw, on a recent trip through several OP departments, was a medical student from Malaysia who sat in on one examination. Pretty good, I thought she was.

Me? I'd stop paying students to study Orts, Media, Sociology, or any other "soft" subjects that don't contribute to the Irish economy. You want to write yet another history of the Potato Famine or an analysis of Joyce's Ulysses, you can pay for it - we don't need any more, thanks.

squod

Introduce another 43 public holidays.

Tefral

-Keep the current tax rates, add the levies into the tax system.
-Take 1% tax from those on minimum Wage.
-Lower social welfare to €150 a week, stop child payments when kids reach 7 years old.
- Immediately wind up Anglo Irish bank.
- Put a cap on all doctors fees at €40.
- Ensure that 99% of the population has access to at least 7mb broadband (fibre or cable)
- Privatise the ESB (but retain state ownership of the Transmission lines for security), CIE and Irish Rail.
- All drivers need to resit their drivers test every 10 years.
- Increase all motorway speed limits to 140km bar the M50.
- Massive investment in the third class road network in Ireland, the country roads are the biggest killers, this also includes cutting back hedges etc etc.
- Health care, im stumped at this, but it should revolve around everyone having health insurance.
- Scale back Military spending, but increase Naval spending, buy a few more ships - drugs and spanish trawlers need closer inspection.
- All garda stations in the country to be inspected and raised to a minimum standard.
- Greater powers to be given to Gardai in the area of gang related activities.
- Anyone caught with a gun thats not reg'd to get a minimum 5 years in jail.
- Serious investment in second level and third level education. Colleges to be almalgamated if need.
- Abolish the senate, reduce the number of TD's and put a cap of €75,000 on their wages.

Im sure theres more but im sick of writing and just getting thick about the government now

starbelgrade

I_AmThe_Walrus wrote: »

The planning and zoning policies are a main concern. I particularly was intrigued by your food suggestions.

Unhealthy eating & obesity is a major concern in almost all 1st World countries, and will ultimately be seen in the huge rise in type 2 diabetes over the coming decades.

The proliferation of modified corn based products, the control of the food chain supply by multi-corporates & the practices they use from exploiting farmers to producing, essentally crap food products have all lead us to this point.

This has had & will continue to have a huge detremental effect on both our health & on the environment unless something is done about it.

Something is fundamentally wrong when a global corporation like McDonalds can produce a hamburger for less than the price of a head of broccoli. It affect us all, but even more so, people from the lower end of the socio-economic scale.

In the States, it's estimated that one in three of all children born after the year 2000, will develop diabetes due to poor diet & two out of three children from poorer families will develop it.

Some might say that this is just an American phenomenon, but it's a blind assumption.

It's everyone's own personal responsibility to eat healthily, but it should be the government's responsibility to ensure that there is proper education & funding towards eating locally produced, fresh & good quality foods.

At present the Irish government have Bord Bia - but it's a joke of an operation. The Bord Bia symbol can be put on food from anywhere in the world - basically any food that is manufactured or processed here - so as a sign of quality or "Irishness", it is a major fail.

The supermarket giants are also pushing small, local farmers out of business by making them supply homogomised food at below cost production, which is not just bad for the farmers, but severely reduces customer choice.

Increased taxes on unhealthy foods which could be put towards subsidising healthy ones would go some way to re-addressing the balance.

cypharius

cronin_j wrote: »

-Lower social welfare to €150 a week, stop child payments when kids reach 7 years old.

7 years old? **** man, it's not like the kids can get jobs! The parents need the cash.

cronin_j wrote: »

- Privatise the ESB (but retain state ownership of the Transmission lines for security), CIE and Irish Rail.

Because privatization always works?

cronin_j wrote: »

- Abolish the senate, reduce the number of TD's and put a cap of €75,000 on their wages.

First two points - no.
E75,000 is too much, average wage in the country is about E60,000, if they can't live on that, it's their fault.

coffee_cake

gu10 wrote: »

No but crime should drop rapidly once the initial horde of scumbags kills each other off

Here you mister do you have a smoke
No sorry I don't smoke
I'll f* sort ya out *bang*
...

No!

BrianStorm

• Open off licences until 12 again.
• Put a cap on price of pints
• Shoot George Hook
• Legalise Brazzers

Tefral

cypharius wrote: »

7 years old? **** man, it's not like the kids can get jobs! The parents need the cash.




Because privatization always works?



First two points - no.
E75,000 is too much, average wage in the country is about E60,000, if they can't live on that, it's their fault.

its a parents choice to have kids, if they cant afford it, dont have them, we currently have the highest birthrate in the EU, in fact you can make a good living off the social the more kids you have.

Privitisation is lowering your utility bills at the moment, look at the inroads Airtricity is making, albeit i know the ESB arent allowed lower their rates.

Maybe it is, but with lesser politicians the more work they will have to do.

baltimore sun

legalise every drug and tax them.
same for prostitution

ban taxis

make public transport free, but not taxis coz they'll be banned

make norris president, it'd be prety cool if ireland was the first country in the world to have an openly gay president.

ban private colleges
make a chinatown in every Irish city
make LOI football more popular

bigger prison with more people in them coz they help generate money for the contractors involved

ban adverts in all media for one day a week

andrew163

This is far from a complete strategy to maintain my newly acquired stranglehold on power, but here goes..

I'd move the nation's capital to a small city (Galway or Waterford, for example). Crazy? Probably. But it'd help with regional development, stop people whinging about the big city getting all the funding just because that's where the politicians live, and all without a major loss of efficiency. Forget decentralisation, just recentralise the whole thing somewhere else.

Cut the waste off the entire public sector. It'd be unpopular but the OP said I was dictator, so I don't have to care :pac: Get rid of unnecessary quangos everywhere.

Have any councillors who have ever approved a one-off house (unless there's an actual reason, like a farmer's house) hanged. Encourage high density development in cities.

Invest in public transport in built up areas everywhere. Metro/underground DART/Luas for Dublin, set up a Cork Bus, Galway Bus, etc in other cities. Open consultations for more commuter-type rail lines into other cities from their surrounds.

Shoot anyone who mentions "western rail corridor" on sight. :P

Then when all that's done, reduce the size of the central government, and give more localized authorities more power. Perhaps a number (6 or 7) regional governments. Reduce central government taxes and allow the regions to tax themselves individually (of course, some regions would still need funding from the rest of the country, this would be dealt with through the lower tax rate everyone pays to the central govt).

chops1990

Ok - assuming money is no object, my plan would be as follows...

National Decriminalisation of all illegal drugs. Portugal is a prime example of the success of this idea. Has a good few benefits! Lowers prison population which in itself would be enough but there is other benefits.

Offer of a career/enlistment in the Military to those eligible on the dole queues. This would free it up of course and people would feel like they're doing something worth while compared to handouts. Moves to re-claim traditional Irish Lands through force or diplomatic means. If this caused expulsion from the E.U then so be it.

Since Ireland has limited resources to offer compared to other countries, it would endeavour to become the leading nation in conventional weapon research, while denouncing nuclear weapon methods or WMD's in general.

An individuals educational path will be left entireley to them. Irish will be kept compulsory, it is our heritage after all, but it would be taught in a much more engaging manner and focus on actually learning it, not poems! They will be able to take subjects relevent to their chosen future career. However if an individual desires not to take a path in education they shall be conscripted to military service or paid labour for building and maintaining infrastructure, and military installations.

All major cities and places of importance would be connected by an automated, free of cost, emissions free rail system that serves as the public transport for land travel. It would be hoped there would no longer be any great need for cars and other forms of transport.

The People's most basic of needs would be met, seeing as the present Government doesn't know what it's doing. The types of things you hear in the news. Education, health, water to name but a few.

Just stuff that popped into my head.

Ulysses Gaze

A complete overhaul of the planning system & a complete rethink of zoning policies.

2. Major investment into public health & education systems.

3. Introduce third level fees for those who can afford them & scrap their grants.

4. A complete overhaul of the Social Welfare system as it is outdated & unfair.

5. Get rid of unvouched expenses for all politicians, reduce their expenses severely and reduce their wages to match the average industrial wage.

6. Overhaul the Public Sector - get rid of the deadweight, introduce performance related wages, abolish "jobs for life" & employ all staff on contract basis which would be subject to bi-annual reviews.

7. Scrap the plans for Metro North.

8. Major investment into the roads network in the West of Ireland.

9. Take the running of all schools out of the hands of the Church & put them into the care of the State. Also make all schools non-demoninational, with the option of extra curriculum teaching of all religions for those who want it.

10. Have a referendum on the Irish language to decide on whether to keep Irish as an official language. This would decide if we could scrap the grant system to Gealtacht areas & make Irish an optional language subject in schools.

11. Employ a team of the best economists to try & figure a way of making Ireland a more competitive country. (I know my own limits!)

12. Introduce a tax on unhealthy foods & use it to subsidise healthy foods.

14. Increase spending on community facilities for sports.

15. Introduce a scheme to help people in severe debt.

Yeah all that....but most importantly:

Make Steak and BJ day an official, fully sanctioned holiday - with punishment for refusal to adhere to the terms of said day.

Pherekydes

Ruu wrote: »

Bomb the Ivory Coast and India as well, there can only be one tri colour.

Hey, there's a few more:

A tricolour or tricolor (three colours) is a flag or banner more-or-less equally divided (horizontally, vertically, or, less frequently, diagonally) into three bands of differing colours. The term is somewhat misleading, as many tricolours have more than three colours, as they are often charged with contrasting emblems (the flag of India as a prominent example).

I_AmThe_Walrus

chops1990 wrote: »

National Decriminalisation of all illegal drugs. Portugal is a prime example of the success of this idea. Has a good few benefits! Lowers prison population which in itself would be enough but there is other benefits.

I agree with this although some other points you've listed kind of isolated me, you tyrant! :P

First of all, my stance on weapons would be a negative one. I don't see how the research into substances, equipment or items capable of taking another life is beneficial to our species as a whole.

Moreover, as someone mentioned earlier, I believe the alcohol laws are reminiscent of the caveman era which leads me into the next point, and your above comment....If we could rip up the sale times on the alcohol law, bringing it to a 24/7 frame, not only would this boost entertainment in our cities and with nightlife ending around 8am, it would be a huge buzz to the tourism industry with the legalised sale of marajuana and prostitution. Best of all, it's all taxed and thrown into our health and educational systems. :pac: