Kicked out of the bed!

Yourself

It comes up a fair bit in everyday conversation but has anyone ever been kicked out of the bed for doing or saying something that was such a complete turn off to the other person that they called a halt to the whole thing???

I just figured that this saying must have some foundation!

Banned Account

Offering money can go down badly - even if done with good intentions.

Biggins

Well refusing to take off the chicken costume got me left on the sofa one night.

Nope, not kidding, Too much to drink, at the time I couldn't be arsed as they say and I just wanted to sleep.
I know... I'm deeply ashamed! LOL

Adam

farting

W.Shakes-Beer

Eating toast in the bed... get the fúck out of here with yer crumbs!

Sanjuro

Dutch-ovened an ex. Spent the night on the couch. Not the reason we broke up. Though it may have been the first snowflake in the avalanche!

ottostreet

I got kicked out of bed yeah.

We were both asleep in a single bed, and ended up knocking me over the edge in the middle of the night. :pac:

Sea Sharp

what did you do OP?
Called her fat?
That's a no no for future reference.

Yourself

went to bed fully clothed...micro bacteria! hahaha mind you I did manage to talk my way back in!

only ever been with one girl

47

I once told the mrs that she looked like her mother... needless to say I was fecked out ricky tick..Her mother is a complete MILF though :cool:

Jaxxy

Yourself wrote: »

went to bed fully clothed...micro bacteria! hahaha mind you I did manage to talk my way back in!

only ever been with one girl

Me?

Adam

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Me?

whore.

Jaxxy

Adam wrote: »

whore.

She likes me that way. :cool:

Yourself

47 wrote: »

I once told the mrs that she looked like her mother... needless to say I was fecked out ricky tick..Her mother is a complete MILF though :cool:

Did you try to use that as your plee?

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Me?

So glad it was memorable for you too Jaxxy! :cool:



I must recalibrate the doses for next time!

testicle

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

She likes me that way. :cool:

How you doin'?

Nervous Wreck

I kicked someone out of bed before. Woke up beside a girl one morning in her friend's apartment and was feeling funny. She was wearing silk pajamas and I thought "they'll slide". So I pushed her and she slid clean off the bed. Laughed so hard.

Jaxxy

testicle wrote: »

How you doin'?

Out of vino

Back OT, kicked someone out of the bed once for having an "accident."

Adam

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Out of vino

Back OT, kicked someone out of the bed once for having an "accident."

did he get it in your eye?

Yourself

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Out of vino

Back OT, kicked someone out of the bed once for having an "accident."

Testicle coming onto you! hahaha! :pac:

did they spill the wine? :eek: I've plenty here 3 bottles to go! yeeeehaawww! get your whorish ways to my place! :cool:

Jaxxy

Adam wrote: »

did he get it in your eye?

My whispering eye.

Yourself wrote: »

Testicle coming onto you! hahaha! :pac:

did they spill the wine? :eek: I've plenty here 3 bottles to go! yeeeehaawww! get your whorish ways to my place! :cool:

No I drank it all. You come here. I need refill. I promies not to kick you out of the bed for your micro bacteria.

Scarinae

One of my friends wasn't so much kicked out of bed as not allowed back into it She woke up before he did, went to the bathroom and put on a full face of makeup, and then tried to get back into the bed. He wasn't having any of it though! I don't blame him to be honest, one time she stayed over at mine and the next morning the pillowcases were smeared orange from her foundation :mad:

Yourself

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

My whispering eye.

No I drank it all. You come here. I need refill. I promies not to kick you out of the bed for your micro bacteria.

...and full access to the whispering eye? Wont count as girl number two but twice I guess... Im on my way!

Yourself

Fishie wrote: »

One of my friends wasn't so much kicked out of bed as not allowed back into it She woke up before he did, went to the bathroom and put on a full face of makeup, and then tried to get back into the bed. He wasn't having any of it though! I don't blame him to be honest, one time she stayed over at mine and the next morning the pillowcases were smeared orange from her foundation :mad:

I think I know her! why didnt he just get her to go on top?!

Adam

hormone levels reaching dangerous proportions...

Gummy Panda

Yes. Apparently I'm a blanket stealer

epgc3fyqirnbsx

An ex kicked me out for giving her a nosebleed

It was her fault really, she was afraid of snakes and I made this hissing noise and she punched me in the crotch (!) and on reflex I lunged forward and smacked her a headbutt

It was pure reflex but even if it wasn't....

starbelgrade

I kicked my brother out of bed a few times... we had bunk beds as kids & I was pissed off that I had the bottom bunk. So, a couple of times, I waited till he was asleep, then I pushed the underside of his mattress up with me feet, causing him to fall out with a huge thump onto the floor.

My parents eventually made us swap bunks as it was too dangerous for him to be on the top one as he was always falling out of the bed when he was asleep.

I must tell him some day that it was me all along!

stovelid

I kicked out my wife once in my sleep. Must have been dreaming about football or karate.

Lando Griffin

Myself and the other half respect each other to be throwing each other out. We dont believe in sex before marriage and after ten years together in October are probably the happyist couple on the street. If things start to get out of control we have a saying " What would god do ?" Its the same lesson I will be teaching my two year old when he grows old.

Scarinae

Yourself wrote: »

I think I know her!

I doubt it's the same girl, given the amount of orange faces around Dublin there's no way she's the only girl it's happened to! Either that or a lot of people have orange-streaked pillows

Adam

Fishie wrote: »

I doubt it's the same girl, given the amount of orange faces around Dublin there's no way she's the only girl it's happened to! Either that or a lot of people have orange-streaked pillows

fact.

we'llallhavetea_old

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Myself and the other half respect each other to be throwing each other out. We dont believe in sex before marriage and after ten years together in October are probably the happyist couple on the street. If things start to get out of control we have a saying " What would god do ?" Its the same lesson I will be teaching my two year old when he grows old.

my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :):confused::o

epgc3fyqirnbsx

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :):confused::o

I know this guy, he made the fatal mistake of having a **** and didn't clean under his fingernails the lo and behold....

starbelgrade

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

my sarcasm detector is not working tonight.. you don't believe in sex before marriage yet you have a son? ... yeah... i'm kinda picking up the sarcasm now... i think.. :):confused::o

Mary & Joseph never had sex either. Everytime they felt the urge to commit such a "sin", they would think, "What would God do now?".

So they did what God does. Joseph went and had a cold shower, while Mary had the daylights shagged out of her an Almighty cock.

Only one of them was really surprised when she fell pregnant.

pow wow

He said I'd be so much cuter if I lost a couple of pounds. I was a size 10 at the time.

Motley Crue

Yourself wrote: »

only ever been with one girl

She really scarred you then....:rolleyes:

OutlawPete

She was eating crackers, so out she went.

Snowie

OutlawPete wrote: »

She was eating crackers, so out she went.

why do women do it ? :mad:

Banned Account

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

why do women do it ? :mad:

Not just women - I ate a craker once - from Norn Iron she was. I think it went down pretty well ...:cool:

OutlawPete

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

why do women do it ? :mad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdXy75VrQho

Snowie

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

Not just women - I ate a craker once - from Norn Iron she was. I think it went down pretty well ...:cool:

I was trying to derail the thread into a woman hating one........#


way to go, bambi :rolleyes:

Banned Account

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I was trying to drail the thread into a woman hating one........#


way to go, bambi :rolleyes:

Pardonz - should have read "cracker eatin' beeeatches - all of them"

Must have left the thesaurus on.

WindSock

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I was trying to derail the thread into a woman hating one........#


way to go, bambi :rolleyes:

Now it's turned into a traveller one instead.

kfallon

Got kicked out when I asked the bird I pulled if she was ok if a few of the lads hid in the wardrobe while we did it! I suppose she was prob annoyed that I'd ruined the element of surprised cos if you tell someone they are hiding then they're not really hiding anymore. I think that was the reason she threw me out, I'd ruined the surprise

The lads are normally quiet as mice too in this scenario :eek:

Sanjuro

Lando Griffin wrote: »

probably the happyist couple on the street.

Ignorance is bliss.

Snowie

WindSock wrote: »

Now it's turned into a traveller one instead.

We all know why your names wind sock don't we :pac: :P

any way serous discussion here....

where was I

fakearms123

i once pulled my girlfriend down under the covers, pulled my boxers down and let out a wet fart on her face, I might of got kicked out of bed and eventually broken up with over this but she got pink eye the next day, dirty bitch!

phill106

kfallon wrote: »

Got kicked out when I asked the bird I pulled if she was ok if a few of the lads hid in the wardrobe while we did it! I suppose she was prob annoyed that I'd ruined the element of surprised cos if you tell someone they are hiding then they're not really hiding anymore. I think that was the reason she threw me out, I'd ruined the surprise

The lads are normally quiet as mice too in this scenario :eek:

reminds me of a tucker max story...

Snowie

fakearms123 wrote: »

i once pulled my girlfriend down under the covers, pulled my boxers down and let out a wet fart on her face, I might of got kicked out of bed and eventually broken up with over this but she got pink eye the next day, dirty bitch!

Lies :pac:

fakearms123

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

Lies :pac:

FACT son!

Kiera

I'd be lucky to get someone into my bed so i'd never ever kick them out!