Can someone please help me - my cat died.

dan_d

Thanks again guys.

Adrenalinjunkie, I don't mind what kind of animal you lost, you understand how incredibly horrible it feels. Worse, the vet rang this evening as we had been in a couple of weeks ago, and she was due a routine check-up and he wanted to know when we'd be back. He sounded like he felt absolutely awful when I had to tell him what happened.

I know I'll be okay, but she had so much of a life ahead of her - WE had so much of a life ahead to share with her....she should have grown old and died at home in her bed, with us.

Thanks again guys, you've no idea how much you're all helping.

Alun

Maybe this may be of some help? http://irishanimals.newsweaver.ie/newsletter/3cpqqodyida She's a psychotherapist based in Ireland specializing in pet bereavement. I personally know another bereavement counsellor, who normally handles cases of human bereavement, but will also do pet cases, so maybe others do as well if the one mentioned above isn't suitable for whatever reason.

As an aside, when our cat Tabatha died when we lived in the Netherlands, we had her cremated at a dedicated pet crematorium, and as part of the package they offered free counselling. We didn't take them up on the offer, but it was a nice thought none the less.

Lastly, I'm very sorry for your loss .. I know what it's like from personal experience, and I still shed the occasional tear when I accidentally come across old photos of Tabatha and Tigger.

belongtojazz

I'm sitting here with all my doggies around me asleep with tears rolling down my cheeks at your loss. My little one got out onto the road tonight and I was nearly in tears then at the thought something might happen to her. Our pets become a huge part of our family and their loss is huge.
You have my utmost sympathy and I hope the pain passes for you soon x

thalia_13

heya, just wanted to say I know how you feel. Its a few weeks now since my cat died, and it was so unbearable at the time. I broke down in work especially, as well as at home, numerous times over the next few days, but as time has gone on it has gotten easier.

I had my cat 5 years, saw him being born, and raised him through some serious illness scares.. I just kept thinking about how I will never see him do his little tricks again, or how I would never feel the roughness of his nose when he gave me kisses etc... A few weeks later, now I look back in fondness and happiness at the time we had together. Ok it still hurts, and some days I really miss his company, but as time has passed I am able to realise that I has some great times with him, fantastic memories, and nothing will ever change that..

I really hope you are going to be ok, I cant tell you it will be ok tomorrow or next week, you do have to grieve, just allow yourself time, and dont feel ashamed to cry. A pet is a part of the family, and dont let anyone tell you to cop on or whatever.

I can honestly say though, the day my boy died, I posted here, and everyone here was so so kind and helpful, and gave me so much strength to get through it. I was reassured by everyone that its ok to cry, and to take my time getting over it. Having seen what everyone here has already posted for you just proves that there are some decent lovely people out there.

If you do want to talk at all, you can PM me, because it its still raw with me, and I know how you feel hun xxx

Take care and hope you are ok

theghost

So sorry to hear about your little cat. It really is the worst thing about having pets. All I can say is that your grief will ease and there will come a time when you can think of your cat with smiles instead of tears.

BrigR

So sorry to hear about your cat. I wanted to post a reply immediately when I read your post yesterday but broke down crying thinking about the cat I lost recently- in spite of having the new cat purring on my lap. It's the price we pay for having a pet, their life span is shorter than ours and it is always a heartbreak. But think of the good life your cat had, loved and cared for in a home, rather than being a stray or abandoned or mistreated.
According to my sister in law who is a psychotherapist almost everybody reacts strongly to the death of a pet, it brings back all bereavement issues.
But believe me, it gets easier with time and one lucky cat will move in with you.

koneko

If you haven't had a pet before, that you're close to, you would have no idea how this can feel, it's easy to be flippant and laugh.

OP, you won't forget your cat but these wounds heal, and you will have happy memories to hang onto, it gets easier. Hang in there. I know what you're going through, and it isn't easy. I get a lump in my throat knowing some day I'll have that feeling again.

dan_d

Guys, it's just so heartwarming to know that strangers out there have taken the time to try and make me feel better.

Thank you so much.And thalia_13, thanks to you too. I know I will be okay eventually, but it does hit me again every so often and it's tough.

There's another really nice poem on the Caravet website - I hope it's okay to link to it, I didn't want to post it here as I'm not sure the author would like it.....

http://www.caravetgroup.com/I_Haven%E2%80%99t_Left_At_All/Default.1210.html

almae

OP, I am so sorry for your loss.

I too am grieving for my beautiful boy Garfield, he suffered from Kidney Failure and was put to sleep yesterday. I held him and cuddled him as he went to sleep.
The pure raw emotion that came out of me was unreal. I could not breathe , I was sobbing...I left our boy with the vet to get cremated. I had to explain to my 4 yr old that garfield was still with the vet as I cannot tell her until I can cope with it..
I cried all yesterday evening , night and most of today. Little reminders like finding his hair set me off..
even today i thought i was going to suffocate with the loss of him.
He was a huge part of our lives and he was only 6..
this is our boy.



I found these things online today and I have ordered them to help us and as a memorial to him, they might be an idea for you too

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/GARFI008/Resident.htm

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=360192494299

thalia_13

Hi Almae, just want to say sorry for your loss, your cat was a beauty. Take care x

dan_d

Almae he's beautiful. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I understand the feeling of not being able to breathe with grief all too well at the moment.
It's 5 days later for me, and although it's better, it still hurts beyond anything I had ever expected.
I'll be thinking about you, and I hope it gets easier for us both soon.

almae

hi

Dan_d it is very raw still. We just told our daughter she is 4 , and she shed a few tears but the imagination she is showing is just amazing.. she is healping me.

we a re fostering 2 kittens 10 weeks old today for a week so that will help too.


big hugs to u .

LucyBliss

dan_d, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I absolutely hate it myself when people say 'oh it's just a dog or just a cat' because while that may be, the fact remains that you opened up your heart to that animal and loved it and took care of it and it was a part of your family and your daily life, as much as any person. I myself lost my father 17 years ago and recently buried my grandmother and I cried as much at those funerals as I did when my last dog had to be put down a few years ago. How can you not be devastated over the loss of a creature who loved you unconditionally and never gave you guff when you came home without the dry cleaning or forgot to buy the bread?

All I can say is, be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. It does get easier to bear with time and you'll know when you're ready to get another pet. It won't be a replacement, naturally, but it'll be a creature ready to benefit from your care and love.

Shazanne

I have tried so hard to read all of the posts above but I just cant - it's far too upsetting for me. I lost my beautiful boy on February 11th 2008 and I still cry for him. He was like my child, he truly was. He too had renal failure and I kept him going as long as I could - I have him a daily drip at home, tablets, injections - the vet was fantastic and taught me how to care for him. I practically dedicated my life to his care. Then things got too bad for him to go on and I had to part with him. I will never, ever forget that Monday evening till the day I die. I could not breath with the pain inside me. In fact, and I only say this here because its anonymous, I did not feel such pain when my father died suddenly last year.
I had my little boy cremated so he is with me all the time and I have since moved house, which has helped somewhat. I could no longer bear the house I was in (for 25 years!) after he had gone from it.
A number of months later I adopted a rescue dog (could not get another cat) and although she will never replace him, she has helped me enormously and I am now giving love to another animal, which I thought I should never chance doing again.
I miss my little boy every single day but the sharp and all-consuming pain does ease. My heart goes out to anyone who loses a beloved pet and my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Someday I will read all of this thread - I just cant do it now. X

goat2

i find it very helpful to know that there are people out there like me, that when we lose a beautiful little pet, we are heartbroken, the hurt will ease but you never forget them, in my garden there are four pet cats one beautiful labrador two rabbits and about four hamsters buried, they are among the flowers here, and i know that there has to be a place for them in the land above, as they brought nothing but joy into our families lives, we all shed tears for every one of them, all the cats were hit by cars, the last cat i had he was a black beauty slept with jackrussel dog i am still heartbroken,
i wish you well, time is all you need,
and in time you may get a little kitten to make your house a home once again,

dan_d

I'm feeling a bit better the last couple of days, but it really stings badly when I do think of her. I've discovered that I have some of the best friends and I'm so lucky to have them - they've all looked after me, even those who don't have pets. They all miss her too....she was very much a part of all our lives, as are their pets.

We live in a very quiet neighbourhood with so many cats - I just can't understand how on earth this could have happened.It worries me that I will get another one and it might happen again. I would have a cat indoors as much as possible, but I do think that they are fundamentally outdoor creatures and I think they should be allowed to roam a bit during the day. Ours was very much a home cat, she never went any distance at all.It was said to me though, that if that's how I think, I'd never do anything - and even if it was a short time we had her, she was very happy. If I had been told when I got her that I'd only have 2 years with her, I still would have kept her, for everything she gave us during those 2 years.

I hope everyone who'd lost a pet recently gets through it okay and I understand the pain so well...but think how much emptier life would be if we didn't feel that pain when bad things happen.

artieanna

just lost my babe yesterday after 12 of the greatest years...

They say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....

It just hurts like hell!

Shazanne

artieanna wrote: »

just lost my babe yesterday after 12 of the greatest years...

They say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....

It just hurts like hell!

My thoughts are with you at this time. Big hug to you. X

confuseddotcom

Get another cat O.P. now or soon when ya can, while your last pet is still fresh in your mind. As I think, with the passing of time you may find, you'll feel somewhat "guilty" as time goes on by "replacing him" with another. Where-as, I feel by getting a new cat now with old pet still fresh in mind won't be as hard by doing so right now.

Our poor lil' dog got killed too. I guess speed and the roads are treacherous nowadays anyways, and on a more serious note, if being deemed a hindrance to passing traffic, things could have been a lot lot worse if a wall was hit or anything like that happened.

From what we gather he was on the edge of our drive-way, and un-fairly on our part wasn't actually out on the road at all, (until that is, he got swept out by some-one going through the country-residential-area at a safe-suitable to slow-stopping speed ..... YEAH RIGHT!! :rolleyes::rolleyes: ) But as having things could have turned out much worse is the only way to look at this.

He was the most beautiful little dog to be seen. But of course I'd say that! It wasn't too long ago when it happened, and he had great Watch-dog features about him lol, he used to sit outside or at the door or on top of the stairs and mind the house as if it was his own! He was so funny. But he was very very clever as well skills/tricks-wise as my brothers taught him well. That's also why it was such a shame as he was such a clever little thing.

As it happened we had originally got him as a gift. We never would have been big into animals, but on hindsight it certainly wasn't because our parents didn't want us to have pets when we were young etc., it was more because they didn't want us to have to deal with a pet being killed/buried.

O.P. I see flashes/memories of our beautiful dog ALL the time. Out of all the family, I wouldn't have been as animally-loving as all other members of the family, maybe that was because of being scared of dogs when I was younger, but because I was at home all day every day, and spent the most time with him because of that, his passing affected me in a major way, it was probably really hard on my mother too as he adored her. But like you I still catch glimpses of him everywhere around me. He was quite a small dog too, and I still find myself looking down or side-stepping to avoid him and then it hits me like a bolt that he's gone. But the other day I just caught a flash of him sitting on the stairs, and for some reason for the first time in months, my first thought wasn't oh I must cry and grieve for him, it was a happy fun comforting thought so that picked me up a bit. So it does get a bit easier.

And I know he's gone now, and I do still miss him, and I do feel guilty for feeling so annoyed to have to open and close the doors when he was going in and out, and that his water-bowl had to be re-filled, and telling him to quit it when he barked at strangers, but I know all those things couldn't be helped. But the one way now that I know that I've moved on, is, when the neighbour's dogs go on a barking-spree frenzy, I don't feel sad anymore, I'm like; "Oh shut up barking would ye!" So those familiar regular little things do help and are an ease in a sense.

While we only had our dog for a year or two not as wide-scale as all our lives, I can totally look in with the eyes of some-one who would rightfully in a way think, - it's just a pet, get over it.

My youngest brother was outside when it happened, he didn't see it happen, but he ran indoors yelling and crying, and the only way I can describe his anguished screams I'll never forget it, with all due respect and no offence whatsoever intended here, was like those two Car-crash ads. on TV where the little toddler and teenagers get killed! :eek: That's how real it was/seemed! Actually even now when my youngest brother even laughs it gives me a shrill chill and brings me back to that awful day.

But it's not until you actually have the experience of having and rearing a pet that you will realise that it's just like a human baby lol, it is in fact another living family member. Hopefully this will bring a little console to you O.P. in that at some point, you will have happy memories of the activities and things your cat did, and you will be comforted that she can and will live on in spirit even after its' passing.

Hehe actually yesterday when I was hanging out clothes, I came across a rather badly-damaged teeth-marked clothes-peg lol!! Where our dog went through a spell of chewing and eating everything in sight and seeing the clothes-peg just made me laugh!