Think I am developing sex addition problem

LegacyUser

Male reader, first time poster. I am shy non drinker/smoker.

In late 2007 went for a weekend to Amsterdam and as you can guess I had relations with a number of women in rld windows(all safe sex by the way) I found a sexual side i did not know i had

I have been calling their 3 times a year now, I feel a touch addictive to how easily avaiable sex is their. I have a sexual side that needs releasing in a safe respectfull way.

The women I had realtions with are defintely their of their own free will and some are making a absolute fortune. I do have a touch of guilt)catholic upbringing etc)

From my time their, I have fairly good relations with 4/5 of the women in the district.

I was their two weeks ago and suddently realised that I have a touch of an addiction for amsterdam. I was with a woman and we are at it, and she suggests a threesome, I declined this time anyway but i have to say the sex was excellent, no strings attached etc

I am just wondering In Ireland is their any one you can talk to about sex addition, dont want the talk to be oddetc

A lot of people will judge me for going with a woman in rld but I practice safe sex, respect the woman, and need sexual release from time to time. The more the women get to know you, the more comfortable the sex/talk is and the more sexually adventouous they are with you

I have decided to go cold turkey and stay out of amsterdam for a while.

Has any one else had a amsterdam addition and been cured. by the way I am 31

Silverfish

Just as a pre-emptive warning, this thread will not be a debate on prostitution.

Thank you.

Dr. Zeus

Hi OP,

Just wondering what you sex life is like outside of Amsterdam? I know you mentioned you were shy but does that shyness preclude you from sexual relations with women not in Amsterdam?

Are you afraid of getting close to women in an intimate/emotional sense? Afraid of rejection?

When people talk about sex addiction, it's normally not just the sex per se the sex is a symptom of something deeper going on. I think that's what you need to figure out? What is it about being sexual/close with a woman who you are not paying for sex that is so terrifying for you?

I think you should go speak to a counsellor and if you figure out the underlying emotional issues/needs that are being expressed thorugh the desire/need for tranactional sex the addiction part may sort itself out.

the fact that you are posting here suggests you are not really happy with the situation. I guess maybe you are lonely in some way.

Hey this could be all way off the mark dude so take it with a pinch of salt where you feel appropriate. I would talk to your GP and ask for a referral to counselling. Good luck and I hope you get what you need and deserve.

BraziliaNZ

Yeah, hookers just are not good for you. What do you gain from it? Instant gratification, that's all, and a rather big hole in your pocket. I've been there, done that, and it's not a good way to be bro, knock it on the head, now. My solution to giving them up?

STOP.
THINK.
****.

Miss Fluff

tekla wrote: »

but i have to say the sex was excellent, no strings attached etc

How would there be any suggestion of strings attached? You're having sex with paid prostitutes

Are you involved with someone here? How fulfilling is your sex life away from Amsterdam or are hookers your only means of having sex? Since 2007 have there been girlfriends or hook-ups for you or is it merely the sex you have is the sex you pay for?

mikemac

How is three weekends a year an addiction?
Well it may be an issue for you OP, that's what I noticed in your post

Fittle

Yeah I was thinking that too, how could 3 times a year be an addiction?

Do you visit prostitutes while you're at home OP?
Do you have a relationship?

I know very little about sex addiction, but I would have thought you'd be out and about, picking up one night stands whilst at home too, and not just availing of sex three times a year from prostitutes in Amsterdam
But perhaps I'm wrong.

Denerick

There are classic cases of men having emotional attachments to prostitutes because they were emotionally incapable of maintaining relationships with women without the financial incentive. For example, I think it was Beethoven who regularly used prostitutes because he was incapable of romantic love. He took out his sexual frustrations and shortcomings on his music, which is clearly inspired by this.

There are plenty of therapies available OP. You do not have a mental illness, you have an emotional shortcoming... And there certainly is help out there if you want it. Its up to you really.

Wagon

3 times a year...that's not an addiction. At all. Prostitutes aren't any different than going out to a club and getting your hole of some bird for one night. Same thing. And as long as the women are there on their own free will, perfectly acceptable.

But i guess you want to stop, hence why you're posting here. The girls you sleep with see you as a client. And clients are there to fill their pockets. That's not to say they don't like you, they probably think you're a sound chap. But you know it doesn't mean anything. Keep that in mind when going cold turkey.

If you want to take your mind off it, maybe you need to distract yourself with other things. A new hobby or something.

You'll eventually get past it. Just a word of advice (and im sure you know this anyway): women can be extremely judgemental about blokes attending a prostitute, much like the way a lot of blokes can be really judgemental of a girl who had loads of previous sexual partners. Just the way it is. As long as you've been safe and are posotive you didn't catch anything, keep it to yourself. It'll save you a lot of problems.