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Feel like I'm back to square one!!

  • 31-07-2010 10:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Sorry for the rant, but I just need to vent this somewhere as it's driving me mad!

    I posted on this thread a while back about being in a home for 16/17 years, in which alot of domestic violence events occured....I got some good advice here, and went forward to seek professional help from my college doctor, a psyciatrist and a councellor. I attended these for quite some time and got on quite well or at least I think I did??

    I had moved away 250kms or so to college and travelled home on a weekly basis, to see my younger sibling and basically keep an eye on how things were since I wasn't there during the week, as all you would get on the phone is half the story.

    Circumstances in the last 3/4 years since moving away are generally not as intense or as physical as they were going back 16/17 years ago, back then some of the events were dramatic, and will never leave my head nor that of my older sibling.

    I limited communication mid-week while I was away from home, to say one phone call for my own sake as I couldn't cope with the daily calls, heated conversations. I never once since I moved away recieved a call from my 'dad', he is the one person who I resent or hate for all the hurt and pain that he has caused!

    Anyway, My issue is now that I am back at home for the summer I am ready to crack up! I don't communicate in any form or another with him, I simply just walk past him, make sure his dinner is on the table on time to avoid confrontation and arguements. Thing is I can't do this anymore...!! It's doing my head in, I will be open and tell ye I am taking anti-depressants and have been doing so for some time but nobody except my doctors know, I couldn't even tell my mother as she actually would be ashamed of me....

    Can anyone recommend how I can get through the rest of the summer? I am planning to move away again on the 30th of August, I just need to survive here until then!!


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