My Nan

julias_jewel

This forum is a great idea!! I feel I keep going on about it the whole time to my boyfriend. Reading other peoples stories helps alot...

My beautiful nan died last October and im still not over her. She was bedridden the last 25 years and lived with us as my mam was her full time carer.

I grew up with her always there, she was the first person Id go to when I was sick or needed my hair done, and she gave the best pedicures :rolleyes: She was geat for slipping me the odd tenner to get a new top... Shed get onto my mam for getting onto me... She was my best friend.

She got sick this time last year and after numerous tests,scans and hospital stays we were told she had throat cancer, and had at most 6 months to live. Two weeks later she passed away with her 3 children and 5 of her grandchildren around her... For about an hour after I sat beside her with my head on her pillow holding her hand....

It was the worse week of my live but yet i keep reliving it.... Is this normal?

To this day I miss her so much...

All her life she was dependent on other people to get her stuff and to do things....but after she went I realised we all depended on her

Miss you loads Nan x x x

zodiak

Hi OP, your deffo not alone on this one. I lost my grandad who was basically my dad all my life not long ago. He was one of the best men around and i still cant accept that he is gone. He died in hospital and was on a life support for a week before he passed peacefully. Over the past while i have been reliving the whole week before and after he died, the fight he put up in the i.c.u and the funeral. I keep finding things that he gave me or I knew he liked and I well up everytime I see them. I try to keep active just to keep my mind off things but when i slow down or I am tired I find it harder to cope. People keep telling me that it gets easyier but it takes time. My own advise would be to try keep active with work/college/friends but again dont be afraid to have a cry and talk to your family if you need to. If you have anything sentimental that she gave you or bought you try keeping it close to hand. I have a small picture of him from before he got sick in my wallet so i know he is always with me, even when i go out for a few beers. Dont know if any of this helps you but i hope things start to straighten out for you.

julias_jewel

Hey zodiak, thanks for your reply... its still hard but im getting there, i started writing down fond memories i had with her and just read over them when i feel low...

this forum really helps though, reading other peoples stories...

Reading your reply made me realise we were lucky to know these people when they were with us

zodiak

Hi OP soz took so long to write back.. yeah it hasnt gotten easyier at all.. missing him loads and his first bday away from home is coming up soon and im dreading it!! your idea of writing down memories is good.. i have been looking back at photos and laughing coz of something that happened when it was taken.. when i was 7 he gave me his work rule.. he was a plasterer and asked me to keep it safe.. 14 years later i still have it and i keep it close when i feel down so e is close by.. if that makes sense?? that type of thing i find helps.. hope your coping a bit better without your nan now x

julias_jewel

Thanks Zodiak,

It is getting easier, I just keep getting relapses once in a while. Its a bit hard at the moment because its coming up to the first anniversary and people keep asking me how i am. I know they mean well, i would do the same, but it brings me back to this time last year, all the hospital visits, the laughs and the joking all my family had when she was with us.

Its good you have a keepsake of your grandad, a little momento between the 2 of you.

Thanks for writing back... its good to talk to other people other then my family sometimes,

Thanks again x