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Do I go back or not?

Chuchoter · 2010-08-01 12:38:54

So back in February I came out as gay to my parents and they took it really badly and banned me from seeing any of my gay friends/going to this gay youth group. The deal was that if I went to counselling until my 17 birthday (last week) I could go back. I basically haven't left the house since February because I'm not…

01-08-2010 1:38pm

#1

Chuchoter

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So back in February I came out as gay to my parents and they took it really badly and banned me from seeing any of my gay friends/going to this gay youth group. The deal was that if I went to counselling until my 17 birthday (last week) I could go back. I basically haven't left the house since February because I'm not allowed and now that I've done all the counselling I should be able to go back. The thing is I think my parents will be furious as they've basically tried to forget the whole thing happened.What now?

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#2 01-08-2010 1:45pm

Miss Fluff

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God you poor thing, how horrific for you.

I think you should go back to the group as your freinds will be able to offer you some help and support and guidance on how best to deal with your parent's (awful) reaction - some of them may have gone through a difficult time when coming out.

You should maybe post in the LGBT forum also http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=255

Your parents will come to terms with this and you can't turn your back on who you are and who you have chosen to be friends with simply because they can't deal with it for now.

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#3 01-08-2010 1:52pm

Ickle Magoo

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Could you suggest some family counselling? It sounds like your parents could do with a good dose of reality from another adult and a professional in such matters - I think having to discuss and own their behaviour may help you a lot as well. If they won't then I think you need to get help and support from another source, whether that be online or a group or whatever.

It's just awful how your parents are behaving but it's only going to damage them and your relationship with them in the long-run.

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#4 01-08-2010 1:59pm

Chuchoter

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I have suggested any number of different support services but they're like I'm not talking to them what do they know this is your problem and you're only doing this to be cool. They're just not interested at all at seeing my side of the story. I'm worried that if I don't go back I'll be making concessions with them the rest of my life you know? We used to be so close and now its like the second I get a job together I'm moving out, which should be within the next 2-3 years once I get the LC and my first year of college out of the way.

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#5 01-08-2010 2:04pm

Ickle Magoo

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Can you discuss and get support from older siblings or other relatives?

It's not right that your parents are being so dismissive of you - I can't believe parents are still like this in this day and age. Do they have to know you are going back to the club? I know it will feel like you aren't being honest with yourself but it might make life a bit easier to pretend to play along until you don't have to live with your folks or their rules any more?

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#6 01-08-2010 2:10pm

Chuchoter

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I'm the eldest in my family. Well back when I started at the group (January) they didn't know about it, until they caught on that I was going out the exact same time every week (I don't go out a huge amount). I've apologized soooooo many times for lying to them but really I was always home by 7 o'clock and all we did at the group was like drink tea and talk you know :P its not like I was out getting hammered. I don't like lying to them and I'm not really a very rebellious teen, but I'm thinking maybe thats my only option is to become a complete asshole and do whatever I want?

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