Wednesday

MonkieSocks

A guy walks into a bar in a town with no women and asks the bartender,

"How can you live in this town without any women?".

The bartender replies, "It's not that bad when we get lonely we go out back where there is a barrel with a knothole in it.

So after a few beers, the guy starts getting a little lonely and tells the bartender he's gonna go find the barrel.

So he walks up to the barrel and sticks it in the knothole.

After about 5 minutes he walks back to the bar and tells the bartender,

"Man, that's the greatest stuff I've ever had!! What do I owe ya?"



The bartender replies, "Nothing, but it's your turn to get in the barrel".
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Bob is injured in a car accident and is admitted to hospital.

He ends up in a men’s ward, next to Joe and Phil.

Phil yells out to the nurse, "Hey nurse, I need to take a piss!"

The nurse comes over and says,
"Don’t talk like that here, please. Say I need to do number one."

Some time later, Joe yells out to the nurse, "Hey nurse, I need to take a sh1t!"

The nurse comes over and says,
"Please don't talk like that. Say I need to do number two."

Some time later, Bob calls the nurse over and whispers to her;



"Nurse, I need to take a sh1t but I haven't been given a number yet."

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Did you hear about the frustrated seamstress?





She could not mend-straight