Online Dating

Larianne

parker kent wrote: »

I said to a few girls about a salsa night on it and they replied!

Lads...we may have found the magic online dating bullet: Mexican food!

MMmmmm mexican food!! Yep, onto a winner there! :pac:

Discodog

Dravokivich wrote: »

So the actions taken by your friends are not missrepresentative of themselves?

She was a new acquaintance & not a friend. If you have been consistently lied to on dating sites then it is not surprising that you might fight fire with fire even if it is unethical.

There are so many reasons why internet dating is totally different to face to face. Because we lack the information that we need it is so easy to form an impression that suits our purpose.

Larianne

Tutorials wrote: »

I'm Tremelo btw (have alternative account for demonstration purposes, all cleared with the lads in the office)

Like one of those peeps Discodog was talking about!!

It's all lies!! arrggghh.

parker kent

Larianne wrote: »

Like one of those peeps Discodog was talking about!!

It's all lies!! arrggghh.

Are you Tremelo? Are any of you real? Is it just me arguing with a computer? :pac:

Amtmann

Larianne wrote: »

Like one of those peeps Discodog was talking about!!

It's all lies!! arrggghh.

Lol - it's thesis work. Long story, big part of the reason I've no time for much these days. Still, it means I get to spend even more time than normal on Boards!

Amtmann

parker kent wrote: »

Are you Tremelo? Are any of you real? Is it just me arguing with a computer? :pac:

Actually, it's just you and me here parker. I am everyone else.

Discodog

Tutorials wrote: »

Too often men think the only way to get a girl is by doing overtly nice things for them.

Overtly nice ?. What by paying a basic compliment ?. I was raised to be a gentleman & I have no plans to change. Neither could I be arsed to follow the procedures laid out in books like The Game which focus on manipulating female emotions.

The risk in paying an Irish girl a compliment is that they may die of shock or at very least blush due to their rarity.

That_Guy

My recent masterpiece message to a really pretty girl who is studying literature and loves writing.

Subject: *insert witty subject heading here*.



I bet you haven't had that subject title appear before have you?... Given that
I can't see your expression, I'll just automatically assume you're shaking your
head.

Excellent.

I see you're into literature. I better be careful of my grammar because I have
a feeling that you are a much better wordsmith than myself.

*opens thesaurus for big (gigantic/sizable) words*

You may think I'm joking but I assure you, I'm not.

Few questions for you.

What college in Dublin do you plan to attend if you've not done so already and
are you planning to study literature or an entirely new venture altogether?

What is your favourite book?

Who is your favourite author?

And finally, have you had any of your work published before?

I guess that's it for now really.

P.S - If I overuse commas, it's because I love, putting, them, into, sentences,
at, every, available, opportunity, for, some, strange, reason.

,,,,,,,

Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

Larianne

That_Guy wrote: »

Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

I'd reply.

stupidusername

That_Guy wrote: »

My recent masterpiece message to a really pretty girl who is studying literature and loves writing.

Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

Cute.

Mickeroo

That_Guy wrote: »

My recent masterpiece message to a really pretty girl who is studying literature and loves writing.



Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

She doesn't stand a chance.

Galvasean

That_Guy wrote: »

My recent masterpiece message to a really pretty girl who is studying literature and loves writing.

Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

If she doesn't reply she's an awful person.
That said literature types are weird. I once mailed a girl who said her favourite author was Bret Easton Ellis (mine too) so I mailed her all about his books and whatnot. She looked at my profile. Chose not to mail me. :pac:

parker kent

Tremelo wrote: »

Actually, it's just you and me here parker. I am everyone else.

Eh....so about those PMs....*awkward* :pac:

Amtmann

Discodog wrote: »

Overtly nice ?. What by paying a basic compliment ?. I was raised to be a gentleman & I have no plans to change. Neither could I be arsed to follow the procedures laid out in books like The Game which focus on manipulating female emotions.

The risk in paying an Irish girl a compliment is that they may die of shock or at very least blush due to their rarity.

There's nothing ungentlemanly about how I conduct myself with people, I assure you. I've just found throughout my adult life that one type of behaviour yields different results to other types. It's not necessary to read a book to learn that either. Trial and error is my method, and no rudeness or lack of manners is required. It's still very possible to hold doors, refill her glass, or tell her her perfume smells nice. It's equally possible, however, that if you pay someone (anyone) too many compliments, or are fawning, you come across as a lackey who is over-eager to please. Lots of men make this mistake, and you hear about it every single day. Very good looking girls in particular are probably sick of men tripping over themselves to please them. My mantra is to not be one of those guys, to be different, to be confident. I want to be pleased, too.

That_Guy

Galvasean wrote: »

If she doesn't reply she's an awful person.
That said literature types are weird. I once mailed a girl who said her favourite author was Bret Easton Ellis (mine too) so I mailed her all about his books and whatnot. She looked at my profile. Chose not to mail me. :pac:

I'd message you babe. xoxoxoxo

That_Guy

That_Guy wrote: »

Feckin' smooth or what lads? :pac:

I wish I was that witty, haha.

That_Guy

Karsini wrote: »

I wish I was that witty, haha.

Me too. :pac:

fee fi fo fum

On the subject of replying/not replying to someone, is it ok to send the following:

Hey.

Thanks for your mail.

I think it's always best to be honest and rather than not reply , which would be rude , i'm just going to be straight , i'm not attracted to men that i'm taller than , it makes me feel like a freak.

Hope this doesn't cause you any offence as it's my issue not yours.

Good luck on this.

Bit late now really as I already have and i'm in fear of his reply


Update: Replied with 'Thanks for responding and for your sincerity'

Relief

The_Morrigan

Right could someone please explain what the phrase "wants to date, but nothing serious" means?

I've been browsing profiles for the last hour and every single bloke has this intention.

spank_inferno

The_Morrigan wrote: »

"wants to date"

It means they want to nail someone......

The_Morrigan wrote: »

"nothing serious"

.... and then not call them again. :pac:

The_Morrigan

spank_inferno wrote: »

It means they want to nail someone......



.... and then not call them again. :pac:

That's what my gut was telling me alright, but at this point regardless of what is on their profile I actually think the majority of guys I've interacted with have that thought process!

WindSock

fee fi fo fum wrote: »

On the subject of replying/not replying to someone, is it ok to send the following:

Hey.

Thanks for your mail.

I think it's always best to be honest and rather than not reply , which would be rude , i'm just going to be straight , i'm not attracted to men that i'm taller than , it makes me feel like a freak.

Hope this doesn't cause you any offence as it's my issue not yours.

Good luck on this.

Bit late now really as I already have and i'm in fear of his reply


Update: Replied with 'Thanks for responding and for your sincerity'

Relief

I'd leave out the freak bit, comes across a bit mean. In fact I'd leave the height thing out together, imagine getting a similar message in relation to your weight?

Galvasean

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Right could someone please explain what the phrase "wants to date, but nothing serious" means?

I've been browsing profiles for the last hour and every single bloke has this intention.

There is no middle ground between "wants to date, but nothing serious" and 'looking for a relationship' on POF unfortunately. The latter can be interpreted as bunny boiler territory while the former looks like they want to play the field. I found that no one would touch me when I was using the 'looking for a relationship' (humans, utterly terrified of commitment and/or monogamy) and got a hellofa lot more mail with the "wants to date, but nothing serious" option.
Personally, "wants to date someone and see where we go from there" would have described someone like me much better. Alas, no middle ground.

WindSock wrote: »

I'd leave out the freak bit, comes across a bit mean. In fact I'd leave the height thing out together, imagine getting a similar message in relation to your weight?

I think its fine once it's self depreciating. ie: make sure you are labeling yourself as the unusual one, as opposed to saying, "Sorry, i dont date short arses" :pac:

fee fi fo fum

WindSock wrote: »

I'd leave out the freak bit, comes across a bit mean. In fact I'd leave the height thing out together, imagine getting a similar message in relation to your weight?

Mean to who? That I feel freakishly tall at times is my insecurity. I'm not slighting his appearance, rather my own.

The_Morrigan

Galvasean wrote: »

There is no middle ground between "wants to date, but nothing serious" and 'looking for a relationship' on POF unfortunately. The latter can be interpreted as bunny boiler territory while the former looks like they want to play the field. I found that no one would touch me when I was using the 'looking for a relationship' (humans, utterly terrified of commitment and/or monogamy) and got a hellofa lot more mail with the "wants to date, but nothing serious" option.
Personally, "wants to date someone and see where we go from there" would have described someone like me much better. Alas, no middle ground.

It's the nothing serious bit that gets me.

parker kent

fee fi fo fum wrote: »

Mean to who? That I feel freakishly tall at times is my insecurity. I'm not slighting his appearance, rather my own.

No but that may not be the way he interprets the mail.

Kevin Duffy

fee fi fo fum wrote: »

Mean to who? That I feel freakishly tall at times is my insecurity. I'm not slighting his appearance, rather my own.

Unfortunately, so many insecure men (incredible, I know!) will interpret that as "she says I'm a short-arse freak".

Galvasean

The_Morrigan wrote: »

It's the nothing serious bit that gets me.

Yeah its a flawed system. The 'looking for a relationship' option implies that you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend from the word go. Whereas 'nothing serious' implies that you have no intention of progressing beyond 'a bit of fun'.

parker kent

The_Morrigan wrote: »

It's the nothing serious bit that gets me.

To me nothing serious equals "Relax I'm not looking for a husband/wife".

Kevin Duffy

The_Morrigan wrote: »

It's the nothing serious bit that gets me.

It's probably a weakness of having so few options in that drop-down, leaving people trying to say that they want to date and enjoy the dates for what they are, would be happy to have something come of it long-term, but don't want to put pressure on the initial contact and first dates.