Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Online Dating

Options
1…99100102104105…330

Comments

  • Options
    #3032
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Yeah its a flawed system. The 'looking for a relationship' option implies that you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend from the word go. Whereas 'nothing serious' implies that you have no intention of progressing beyond 'a bit of fun'.

    Ya see I would see the looking for a relationship to mean more like that is your ultimate intention and you don't want to be fapping about for years on end just going on random dates with no direction.


  • Options
    #3033
    manafana
    Registered Users Posts: 3,484 ✭✭✭manafana


    Ruben Long Historian wrote: »
    Met someone tonight (tried this malark)
    Her photos didn't do her justice, very good looking. But dull...

    How to proceed, do the right thing or the bad thing. Maybe the bad thing is the right thing. Maybe the right thing is the bad thing.

    Whats right or wrong these days anyway

    hmmmm

    if your looking for someone meet up with on nights out, or someone do stuff with during day. if the latter then dullness would mean no thanks for me


  • Options
    #3034
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    Right could someone please explain what the phrase "wants to date, but nothing serious" means?

    I've been browsing profiles for the last hour and every single bloke has this intention.

    That's what I have on my profile... and I take it to mean this:
    parker kent wrote: »
    "Relax I'm not looking for a husband/wife".

    ..go with the flow kinda thing.

    I wouldn't take it to mean intimate encounters.


  • Options
    #3035
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    fee fi fo fum wrote: »
    Mean to who? That I feel freakishly tall at times is my insecurity. I'm not slighting his appearance, rather my own.

    Not purposely mean to the guy, but it does inadvertently remind him that he's vertically challenged and it could possibly drag his confidence down a wee bit. It depends on the guy of course. I'm not tall at all (only 5'7") and I generally avoid women taller than me for the same reason you avoid guys shorter than you. That said, the most attractive girl I ever went out with was taller than me, but that was an aberration in my relationship history (and a particularly good albeit ultimately devastating one :o).


  • Options
    #3036
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    Larianne wrote: »
    That's what I have on my profile... and I take it to mean this:



    ..go with the flow kinda thing.

    I wouldn't take it to mean intimate encounters.

    Interesting. I have interpreted it as being "this person does not want a relationship, just some fun dates", so I usually skip over those profiles. I have a theory that a lot of people choose this option rather than "looking for a relationship" because they feel they might come across as needy or what have you if they were to put that down instead.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3037
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Interesting. I have interpreted it as being "this person does not want a relationship, just some fun dates", so I usually skip over those profiles. I have a theory that a lot of people choose this option rather than "looking for a relationship" because they feel they might come across as needy or what have you if they were to put that down instead.

    Yeah but fun dates can lead to something, no?

    Missing out there Tremo!


  • Options
    #3038
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Larianne wrote: »
    Yeah but fun dates can lead to something, no?

    Missing out there Tremo!

    I think that is the problem...we all have different interpretations of that.


  • Options
    #3039
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Interesting. I have interpreted it as being "this person does not want a relationship, just some fun dates"

    yeah me too. anything like 'short term dating only' or 'nothing serious' would imply that they kinda just want to mess around, which I don't get. I mean what is the purpose of dating if not to at some point lead to a relationship of a sort. :confused:


  • Options
    #3040
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    Larianne wrote: »
    Yeah but fun dates can lead to something, no?

    Missing out there Tremo!

    I would have thought so too, but the "but nothing serious" bit would say to me they only want fun. I probably am missing out. Will have to reappraise :)

    I got a text this morning from the date girl from yesterday. I thought it would have been obvious to her too that there was no spark between us, but nope, she actually thought the date went really well. Had to explain to her. Feel like a pr.ick now. I've been on the receiving end of such news plenty of times and it's never nice.


  • Options
    #3041
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    stupidusername wrote: »
    yeah me too. anything like 'short term dating only' or 'nothing serious' would imply that they kinda just want to mess around, which I don't get. I mean what is the purpose of dating if not to at some point lead to a relationship of a sort. :confused:

    No, the purpose is to buy as many people as possible cups of coffee. Then your coffee karma will go up and some day someone will buy you a cup of coffee.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3042
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Galvasean wrote: »
    No, the purpose is to buy as many people as possible cups of coffee. Then your coffee karma will go up and some day someone will buy you a cup of coffee.


    but what happens if all these dates are "dutch"?


  • Options
    #3043
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    I think that is the problem...we all have different interpretations of that.

    True!

    Although I think I explain what I want out of the dates in my profile.


  • Options
    #3044
    deman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭deman


    A guy I know met his current wife through online dating. He also met his previous wife online. But he met his first wife in a traditional face to face encounter. And yes, this is wife number 3.


  • Options
    #3045
    fee fi fo fum
    Registered Users Posts: 120 ✭✭fee fi fo fum


    deman wrote: »
    A guy I know met his current wife through online dating. He also met his previous wife online. But he met his first wife in a traditional face to face encounter. And yes, this is wife number 3.


    I don't know what's worse , him paying for 3 weddings or guests coughing up for gifts again and again and again....


  • Options
    #3046
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Tremelo wrote: »
    I would have thought so too, but the "but nothing serious" bit would say to me they only want fun. I probably am missing out. Will have to reappraise :)

    I got a text this morning from the date girl from yesterday. I thought it would have been obvious to her too that there was no spark between us, but nope, she actually thought the date went really well. Had to explain to her. Feel like a pr.ick now. I've been on the receiving end of such news plenty of times and it's never nice.

    oh no. was she ok? did she get it?
    Galvasean wrote: »
    No, the purpose is to buy as many people as possible cups of coffee. Then your coffee karma will go up and some day someone will buy you a cup of coffee.

    what? :confused:


  • Options
    #3047
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    stupidusername wrote: »
    oh no. was she ok? did she get it?

    She seemed very understanding about it. It was amicable thankfully. I'm getting sick of it now I must admit. It's hard to find someone, isn't it!


  • Options
    #3048
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Tremelo wrote: »
    She seemed very understanding about it. It was amicable thankfully. I'm getting sick of it now I must admit. It's hard to find someone, isn't it!

    I don't think it is the finding, moreso it all working out for you!


  • Options
    #3049
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Tremelo wrote: »
    She seemed very understanding about it. It was amicable thankfully. I'm getting sick of it now I must admit. It's hard to find someone, isn't it!

    yep it is. just realised the other day, I'm single a year now. eeeek.

    but it's good that she wasn't too upset.


  • Options
    #3050
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    yep it is. just realised the other day, I'm single a year now. eeeek.

    September 2009...closing in on my 2 year alone-aversay :(

    Until this thread, I never would have thought people interpreted the "nothing serious" line as different to my version of it. I always assumed it just meant that you were open to whatever happens, but were not going in expecting to find "The One".


  • Options
    #3051
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    The_Morrigan wrote: »
    I don't think it is the finding, moreso it all working out for you!

    Yup. Getting dates is the easy part. Then you have to like them, they have to like you, and the timing has to be right. That's a trinity of pre-requisites that seldom gel. I really liked that girl I was dating for a month in late April/May before she jilted me. That was as close as I've come to a relationship in just over a year, though I suppose I've only started looking again in the past two months in fairness. But it's not easy, and I suppose when you get into a relationship there are always new problems to deal with. I've a friend at the moment who has been with her boyfriend for two years and he is starting to pull back now, to her dismay.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3052
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    September 2009...closing in on my 2 year alone-aversay :(

    Until this thread, I never would have thought people interpreted the "nothing serious" line as different to my version of it. I always assumed it just meant that you were open to whatever happens, but were not going in expecting to find "The One".

    yeah but nothing serious means nothing serious surely? I'm open to whatever happens, maybe i should put that down...


  • Options
    #3053
    The_Morrigan
    Moderators Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭The_Morrigan


    Tremelo wrote: »
    Yup. Getting dates is the easy part. Then you have to like them, they have to like you, and the timing has to be right. That's a trinity of pre-requisites that seldom gel. I really liked that girl I was dating for a month in late April/May before she jilted me. That was as close as I've come to a relationship in just over a year, though I suppose I've only started looking again in the past two months in fairness. But it's not easy, and I suppose when you get into a relationship there are always new problems to deal with. I've a friend at the moment who has been with her boyfriend for two years and he is starting to pull back now, to her dismay.

    Yup, it's tough - but when it works by god is it great!
    I was dating a guy for a while and he decided that he didn't want it to go any further either and I was gutted about it - I was also seriously perplexed by the reason he gave!


  • Options
    #3054
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    stupidusername wrote: »
    yeah but nothing serious means nothing serious surely? I'm open to whatever happens, maybe i should put that down...

    I think you should always approach relationships with the nothing serious attitude but still remain open to something happening. Though give what I just said about approaching 2 years on the sideline, maybe I'm not the person to talk about this :pac:

    But this confusion shows the role semantics plays in online dating. How you view your profile, is not how other people view it. Your interpretation of everything could be completely different to somebody else's.


  • Options
    #3055
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    parker kent wrote: »
    I think you should always approach relationships with the nothing serious attitude but still remain open to something happening. Though give what I just said about approaching 2 years on the sideline, maybe I'm not the person to talk about this :pac:

    But this confusion shows the role semantics plays in online dating. How you view your profile, is not how other people view it. Your interpretation of everything could be completely different to somebody else's.

    This is why it is always good to get someone else's opinion on it.


  • Options
    #3056
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    parker kent wrote: »
    I think you should always approach relationships with the nothing serious attitude but still remain open to something happening. Though give what I just said about approaching 2 years on the sideline, maybe I'm not the person to talk about this :pac:

    But this confusion shows the role semantics plays in online dating. How you view your profile, is not how other people view it. Your interpretation of everything could be completely different to somebody else's.

    See I am open to whatever, tbh I'm still not even sure I want a bf. I don't approach any thing like diving head first in, I think that the options on these sites are just unclear, or a matter of interpretation.


  • Options
    #3057
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Larianne wrote: »
    This is why it is always good to get someone else's opinion on it.

    Very true. If/when I get back into it, I'll get a second opinion. Definitely helps with details you overlook and helps eliminate things I may think are cute, but actually make me sound like a nutter :pac:


  • Options
    #3058
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    parker kent wrote: »
    Very true. If/when I get back into it, I'll get a second opinion. Definitely helps with details you overlook and helps eliminate things I may think are cute, but actually make me sound like a nutter :pac:

    Yeah, delete the non-liking of sponge cake varieties.


  • Options
    #3059
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Larianne wrote: »
    Yeah, delete the non-liking of sponge cake varieties.

    Never :pac:

    I should challenge a girl on the dating sites to bake me a sponge cake that I like. If that woman exists, she must be my wife :P


  • Options
    #3060
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    parker kent wrote: »
    Never :pac:

    I should challenge a girl on the dating sites to bake me a sponge cake that I like. If that woman exists, she must be my wife :P

    You know, I think if you wrote "I hate sponge cake" on your profile you would get a lot of inquisitive mails about it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #3061
    mstan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭mstan


    First off can I just say a thanks to the girls here who offered advice on how to improve my profile. Much appriciated! Going to try and update it now.

    Secondly I have a few questions about PoF. When you are talking with someone do you always just send normal mails or is there at stage where ye would move on to Instant Messaging any time both of ye are online? How long would you wait before asking a girl out? And finially would you normally kiss them on a first date?


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement