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Online Dating
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Obviously I think it is fine for the person on the first date to check if you are really who you say, and see if you click a bit and that, but otherwise I would be inclined to be more relaxed and go with the flow, and take time over the first few dates to get to know someone, and whether there might be something longer-term in it.
THIS!! ^^^^^
The first date is a nerve racking enough experience without feeling like some sort of criminal and wondering just when is the good cop gonna arrive!!But in this case it was like he wanted to see if we agreed on so many things, like I should be like him or something, rather than see who I was and what I was like, and just for me be my own person. Almost like he expected to know on the first date whether we would still be together a few years down the road :eek:.
It sounds like this lad has, as far as he's concerned, wasted time in the past, invested time in relationships that didn't work out (for whatever reason, probably a case of Severe-Over-Intense-Itis) and now just wants to limit the time that he perceives to be wasting on girls who don't meet his criteriaThe funny thing is, he was so concerned about me meeting his criteria he seemed to forget that to some extent (though I would not be as fussy/anal as he was being) he would need to meet some of my expectations also.
It's quite possible that he considers himself to be perfect and a great catch for anyone, so why should he worry about your expectationsAfter reading about your experience, and talking to a friend of mine today, I am starting to think this one really is not for me, though I will meet him one more time (partly as it is already arranged) before making my mind up. Luckily it will be the cinema so I won't have to put up with non-stop talking/interrogation on the night
if he is still like that, which he probably will be.
Well the cinema is the perfect place to put your index finger to your lips and say that this is the grown ups quiet time!!0 -
E harmony dating site ad.....
Would ya date her lads ???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hkcIQxLeVk&feature=related
Wow... her voice was annoying so I thought "no" then she said she just got her MBA and I thought "oh ok, maybe"... and then the madness happened. Eep.Still only gate Crash mailing me
Oh god, now I don't even exist... I'm not sure if this falls into the non-responder category or the shot-down category. Hurts either way. My gentle soul will forever be torn just a little bit, no matter how hard I try to mend it with time
Now, who's up for some Hungry Hungry Hippos?! :pac:0 -
Hi Gatecrash, I couldn't stop laughing at your post, and to be honest if this is how I am thinking, then he is not for me. I thought maybe it was me just being worried about nothing at first but now I don't think so.It sounds like this lad has, as far as he's concerned, wasted time in the past, invested time in relationships that didn't work out (for whatever reason, probably a case of Severe-Over-Intense-Itis) and now just wants to limit the time that he perceives to be wasting on girls who don't meet his criteria
It's quite possible that he considers himself to be perfect and a great catch for anyone, so why should he worry about your expectations
Well the cinema is the perfect place to put your index finger to your lips and say that this is the grown ups quiet time!!
Yes I think he probably thinks he has wasted time in the past, and I think you may also be right about him thinking he is perfect. It did grate on me a little that he seemed to think he knew better than everyone else, and that he had it all together, and he was a bit critical of people he thought didn't have it all together (in his eyes).
This was one aspect to him (even if I was wrong about everything else, or he was having an off day, even if he calmed down with the questions) that I think would drive me NUTS.0 -
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Hi Gatecrash, I couldn't stop laughing at your post, and to be honest if this is how I am thinking, then he is not for me. I thought maybe it was me just being worried about nothing at first but now I don't think so. Yes I think he probably thinks he has wasted time in the past, and I think you may also be right about him thinking he is perfect. It did grate on me a little that he seemed to think he knew better than everyone else, and that he had it all together, and he was a bit critical of people he thought didn't have it all together (in his eyes).
This was one aspect to him (even if I was wrong about everything else, or he was having an off day, even if he calmed down with the questions) that I think would drive me NUTS.
Well I'm glad that you got a giggle out of it, the only other thing i'd say is that dating sites are difficult.
It's hard sorting the wheat from the chaff, it's hard putting yourself out there in a much more open manner than in a pub/club situation. In the pub/club there are ways and means of letting a guy/girl know that you find them attractive, the coy glance & smile, the offering a light when you are out smoking (week and a half off them today, 2 nights out too WOOHOO ME!!!) to the having a little chat...
On a site you are showing a lot more of yourself than on ANY other areas of the internet, and contacting people you find attractive, only for them to either rebuff your advances or turn out to be suffering from Severe-Over-Intense-Itis, or for the odd little nugget out there where the attraction is mutual.
In a pub I certainly wouldn't start conversations with 20 total random women who happened to catch my eye. After getting shot down twice or three times I stop and just say feck it, i'm here with mates, enjoy it. On the internet I CAN start 20 different conversations........ and get no replies!!
I suppose what i'm really trying to say is enjoy it, but don't take it too seriously either. If you meet someone that's right for you, you'll both know
Now, there is an ominous silence from downstairs where the dog and his sidekick, Destructo-pup are so i gotta go!!0 -
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I have actually given up emailing girls first, probably a stupid approach, but got fed up sending mails that weren't getting replied to :P at least when they email first at least there's a bit of interest i suppose
i can't imagine how disheartening it is to keep writing, and keep getting ignored. i wouldn't blame you. though tbh i can't remember how many that happened to me with. maybe like three. but then there were more that did respond, but only one message. maybe my winning personality wasn't so winningE harmony dating site ad.....
Would ya date her lads ???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hkcIQxLeVk&feature=related
that cannot be real. hate that fake crying. like if you're any sort of a good actor you can get some tears out of it surely.Just a quick question to everyone, when I have been on sites I might mail a man that sounds pretty normal, has nice profile etc or a guy might mail me and again his profile is nice and normal but they may make sexual comments or some sort of sexual inneundo, they don't come out and say anything about a one night stand or anything, as I say their profiles seem nice and normal but they mention it in mails or online chat (which I no longer go near because of this) but for me I find this incredibly off-putting. Maybe I am a bit prudish but what do other people think? Would you hint at sexual stuff or make sexual comments in the first e-mail or two, even in a jokey fashion.
well it really depends on the person, and what's in their profile. i'm not trying to blame you here, but is there anything that'd make them go this direction? it could just be the bunch you've gotten. i'm not at all prudish but i wouldn't appreciate that kinda thing from a regular run of the mill conversation, unless of course that's the natural progression (but it's not often the case). if it's making you uncomfortable, maybe try saying this to them, or ignoring that part of their message, and continue with the rest. see how that works out.0 -
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Completely, different question to put out there, but being seperated and having a daughter, I come with a hefty amount of baggage and while I don't want to lie on my profile, I found most sites tend to ask your status and how many children you have. Any suggestions on how to handle it as I can't help thinking that those two fact would tend to be off putting??
Thanks Gillo. In response to your question, I am divorced with one kid and like you have felt uncomfortable about discussing my child, but at the same time I prefer to state my position from the get-go, not everyone wants to date a person with kids and I'd prefer to attract someone who has no problem with it. I remember I met a guy through the pub, was really nice, etc, we had arranged to meet but I had not got the chance to tell him I had a kid and when we met on our date I told him then and I could tell he was uncomfortable with it, we didn't meet up after that so I prefer to let people know.well it really depends on the person, and what's in their profile. i'm not trying to blame you here, but is there anything that'd make them go this direction?
I don't believe there is anything I have in my profile that would incite that kind of response, I don't have any pics of me with a massive cleavage or anything like that. I am not posing in heels / or being seductive. Nor do I say I am looking for for fun or good times as this can be misconstrued. The only thing I say is I like hugs (although I don't get all emotional like e-harmony cat woman, god I feel so normal after watching that...what a hoot).
Thanks all the same.0 -
I think i have deleted 3 accounts on POF but im thinking of joining back up again,the reason i deleted them was i kept seeing the same faces pop up all the time,im in Waterford and it seems like there isn't many people around here on it,also when i messaged someone with the same interests as myself i never heard anything back.Ah well i think ill give it another go for one final time 0
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Chris P. Bacon wrote: »I think i have deleted 3 accounts on POF but im thinking of joining back up again,the reason i deleted them was i kept seeing the same faces pop up all the time,im in Waterford and it seems like there isn't many people around here on it,also when i messaged someone with the same interests as myself i never heard anything back.Ah well i think ill give it another go for one final time
It happpens Chris. You keep on seeing the same faces over and over. I tend to get a bit disillusioned after a month or 2, then hide the a/c and come back another few months later if still single.0 -
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I don't believe there is anything I have in my profile that would incite that kind of response, I don't have any pics of me with a massive cleavage or anything like that. I am not posing in heels / or being seductive. Nor do I say I am looking for for fun or good times as this can be misconstrued. The only thing I say is I like hugs (although I don't get all emotional like e-harmony cat woman, god I feel so normal after watching that...what a hoot).
Thanks all the same.
yeah, no problem. i'd hope saying you like hugs doesn't draw them out, but then ya never know, maybe they think you mean the special kind of hug! :pac:Chris P. Bacon wrote: »I think i have deleted 3 accounts on POF but im thinking of joining back up again,the reason i deleted them was i kept seeing the same faces pop up all the time,im in Waterford and it seems like there isn't many people around here on it,also when i messaged someone with the same interests as myself i never heard anything back.Ah well i think ill give it another go for one final time
i always think things like that. i mean, give up - try again - give up...Your own kids on a dating site? No, i wouldn't be a fan of it at all
i'd be very put off by someone with a picture of a child up. very odd thing to do. but i absolutely agree with being honest, upfront etc. no point hiding your situation, and it's not like it's something to be ashamed of. just might not suit some people, as some others might not suit some too.0 -
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stupidusername wrote: »i always think things like that. i mean, give up - try again - give up...
Im going to give it another go,sure what have i to lose 0 -
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