Online Dating

parker kent

Galvasean wrote: »

Lob me in the camp that when searching actively looks for people without kids. I'm fairly young and definitely not mature enough or financially stable enough to be anything like a father figure.

I would make a pretty good deadbeat Dad. No money, no car, no job...gimme a wifebeater and a few cans and I be sorted :pac:

But seriously, you either are open to somebody with kids or you are not.

stupidusername

Gillo wrote: »

ha ha, its getting late, didn't mean to open that kettle of worms.

anyways about that drink???

and on that bombshell, Gillo is heading to bed for a fw hours kip

no, it's a good point of discussion, I think.

but for me it's not about career, or finances (I haven't been that smart in my thinking) but it's still not for me. i guess it's about the way I was brought up. put me off having my own.

am, are you serious about that drink??

cyrusdvirus

Galv, just cos a potential partner has kids, she may not want you to be a father figure to them, it might not be something you need to worry about

Having said that we all have our own opinions, and mine would be to be open to the idea. I don't actively search for women with kids, but i'm not going to ignore the possibilities either.

Jebus I'm sounding like an old man here, and one who women find irresistible too.........WHICH I'M NOT!!:D

Galvasean

Psst, guys. This is the part where you PM

cyrusdvirus

Galvasean wrote: »

Psst, guys. This is the part where you PM

heh heh heh

parker kent

Galvasean wrote: »

Psst, guys. This is the part where you PM

There are only guys chatting now. I'm not keen on dating a girl with kids but I'm not ready to go that far in the opposite direction :pac::P

Galvasean

gatecrash wrote: »

Galv, just cos a potential partner has kids, she may not want you to be a father figure to them, it might not be something you need to worry about

Well if you have any intention of becoming serious / going steady with someone with kids (which at this stage I'm not dating people so I can collect them all, I would like to meet someone whom there would be potential for such with) you kinda can't help it surely? I mean if you are spending time with this person you will end up caring for their kids in some capacity at some point (assuming they see their kids frequently that is).

cyrusdvirus

parker kent wrote: »

There are only guys chatting now. I'm not keen on dating a girl with kids but I'm not ready to go that far in the opposite direction :pac::P

i think he was referring to Gillo and Stupid

Galvasean

parker kent wrote: »

There are only guys chatting now. I'm not keen on dating a girl with kids but I'm not ready to go that far in the opposite direction :pac::P

Just in the odd chance you aren't joking, I was tellling Gillo and stupidusername.

parker kent

gatecrash wrote: »

i think he was referring to Gillo and Stupid

No shít Sherlock :pac:

I was joking.

Lon Dubh

gatecrash wrote: »

It's almost as hard to write that one as it is to receive it...... or at least i hope it is, only ever having been on the receiving end of them!!:pac::D

I am tempted to make it easy on myself by pulling out the "I'm not over my ex" card (sorry Galvasean if you are reading this and it is causing Post-traumatic stress flashbacks ). I feel this would definitely send him running (this was one if the boxes I had to tick - not on a rebound!).

I am worried that if I say I think we are not compatible he might start arguing with me (him being perfect and all). Decisions decisions. I am going to try to do it tonight as I am worried he is going to make arrangements to come here which he would then have to cancel if I leave it too late. I am cringing as I have not done this before either.

cyrusdvirus

Galvasean wrote: »

Well if you have any intention of becoming serious / going steady with someone with kids (which at this stage I'm not dating people so I can collect them all, I would like to meet someone whom there would be potential for such with) you kinda can't help it surely? I mean if you are spending time with this person you will end up caring for their kids in some capacity at some point (assuming they see their kids frequently that is).

Yes, but remember in a lot of cases the father will still be an integral part of those kids lives. Fair enough, they might end up living under the same roof provided by you and their mother, but their Dad will ALWAYS be their Dad.

It didn't happen me, but years ago one of my staff (not my own company, but i was management in a branch of a company, and the staff there would be regarded as our staff) was going out with one of the girls from the shop. She had a kid, and the kids dad was separated from the mother. One day she heard her boyfriend ( the guy she worked with) telling the kid to call him dad.... and went freakin' BALLISTIC, telling him that he had no right etc.... and she was correct.

Anyway, i think we've done this to death, both of you have your own reasons and they are perfectly valid ones for not dating women with kids.

I'm a little further along the tracks in terms of years, and a percentage of the single women out there in the age range i'm interested in will have kids, so i've had to adjust my own views accordingly

cyrusdvirus

Lon Dubh wrote: »

I am worried that if I say I think we are not compatible he might start arguing with me (him being perfect and all). Decisions decisions. I am going to try to do it tonight as I am worried he is going to make arrangements to come here which he would then have to cancel if I leave it too late. I am cringing as I have not done this before either.

if he starts arguing with you then he's a total twat.

It takes 2 people to make a couple, and if one isn't interested, then it's game over.

If he starts arguing, just tell him it's not something open for debate, and leave it at that

Denisejcc

:mad: very disillusioned with the whole POF thing and the 'being single' thing. I dont want to be single forever :mad::(

Galvasean

gatecrash wrote: »

if he starts arguing with you then he's a total twat.

It takes 2 people to make a couple, and if one isn't interested, then it's game over.

If he starts arguing, just tell him it's not something open for debate, and leave it at that

I don't get that mentality (and it's common enough) where people try to argue their way into getting someone to go out with them. Surely they must realize that is not going to lead to anything good?

HellFireClub

parker kent wrote: »

There are only guys chatting now. I'm not keen on dating a girl with kids but I'm not ready to go that far in the opposite direction :pac::P

At last we can agree on something!

parker kent

Galvasean wrote: »

I don't get that mentality (and it's common enough) where people try to argue their way into getting someone to go out with them. Surely they must realize that is not going to lead to anything good?

Which is why I think emailing people to say "Thanks, but no thanks" is a bad idea.

cyrusdvirus

Denisejcc wrote: »

:mad: very disillusioned with the whole POF thing and the 'being single' thing. I dont want to be single forever :mad::(

<HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS>

Galvasean

Lon Dubh wrote: »

(sorry Galvasean if you are reading this and it is causing Post-traumatic stress flashbacks )

Ah don't worry about me. I'm not upset or annoyed anymore. Everyone from work has taken my side so my reputation remains intact. She's the one who things will be awkward for now that everyone despises her for hurting poor ol' Galvasean. As it turns out part of the reason why she is in line for so much flak is that I have vowed never to date anyone from work ever again and some of the girls are not happy about that (nice confidence boost!). :pac:

cyrusdvirus

parker kent wrote: »

Which is why I think emailing people to say "Thanks, but no thanks" is a bad idea.

So we're finished arguing about kids, lets bring up this one again??

I JOKE!!!!

Lon Dubh has arranged a date with this lad, their third i think, she does not want to go through with it. Should she mail him, or just stand him up?

Mail is the best option. Not to turn up to an arranged meet is even more rude than the no reply.

Lon Dubh

gatecrash wrote: »

if he starts arguing with you then he's a total twat.

It takes 2 people to make a couple, and if one isn't interested, then it's game over.

If he starts arguing, just tell him it's not something open for debate, and leave it at that

Thanks, I did it! Ripped the bandage off. Decided not to use the ex card as that was not what was bothering me. Kind of relieved now.

Gillo

gatecrash wrote: »

Mail is the best option. Not to turn up to an arranged meet is even more rude than the no reply.

A simple mail saying thanks but no thanks, christ it's not like a proper break up but standing the guy up, thats just bad form.

stupidusername

Denisejcc wrote: »

:mad: very disillusioned with the whole POF thing and the 'being single' thing. I dont want to be single forever :mad::(

don't let it get to you. think of it this way, in any amount of time you could be tied down to an infinite relationship, and now's your only chance to enjoy your freedom!

nah, not buying it?

my housemate suggested last night that we go along to a speed dating evening some time, half joking i think, but think he'd actually do it. i'm considering it.

Denisejcc

stupidusername wrote: »

don't let it get to you. think of it this way, in any amount of time you could be tied down to an infinite relationship, and now's your only chance to enjoy your freedom!

nah, not buying it?

my housemate suggested last night that we go along to a speed dating evening some time, half joking i think, but think he'd actually do it. i'm considering it.

Yeah Ive a friend who is mad to try that but Im not sure Im brave enough!

cyrusdvirus

right gang, i'm up in 6 hours to walk the mutts and go to work so i'm out of here.

g'nite.

Galvasean

I've always wanted to try speed dating... although me being silly I'd probably end up ticking all the boxes! :pac:

HellFireClub

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yeah Ive a friend who is mad to try that but Im not sure Im brave enough!

Would it be worth the risk though if you got the little sheet back at the end of it and nobody wanted to meet ye again?!?

Denisejcc

So true, thats why I dont want to do it!

Galvasean

Okay this might sound mad, but some day we should organise a charity event and auction off the various men of tGC for dates. It worked in the Simpsons.

stupidusername

Denisejcc wrote: »

Yeah Ive a friend who is mad to try that but Im not sure Im brave enough!

well i'd have a lot less balls than a lot of folk round here... so if i would then you should!

HellFireClub wrote: »

Would it be worth the risk though if you got the little sheet back at the end of it and nobody wanted to meet ye again?!?

never even thought of that!