Online Dating

valerie

I know, I'm traumatised.

Gillo

That's just so wrong

cyrusdvirus

I'm not looking but putting my brain into 'durtburd' mode i can kinda guess.....

MudSkipper

not looking either, but pretty sure know where its headed with tomato soup being red n all

Kevin Duffy

I love tomato soup. By that I mean tomato soup, made with tomatoes, turned into soup. I will stay innocent and keeping liking tomato soup.

Lon Dubh

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

i have to say I would never message anyone without a photo posted. to me not having a photo indicates they might have a significant other, but also, physical attraction is really important for me when it comes to dating.

I get suspicious as well when I don't see a picture, and wonder if they are married or in a relationship with someone else. I find as well the person stands out more if there is a picture and it is easier to remember them later. One some sites you can have pictures on private which the person can release if you want it so I think that is ok.

I think that some of the profiles are very badly filled out. It is a pity more people don't go back and edit when they have thought about it some more. Some people have no photo and a badly filled out profile, which is a bit hopeless.

I am on maybefriends and a lot of the sections about the person are questionnaire things where they tick boxes. It is nice and easy and quick, but can give a false picture of someone. You don't know if they really like some hobby/activity, and do it regularly, or are only sort of interested and might do it once in a blue moon. Unfortunately a lot of the guys put very little in the "about me" section, which would be in their own words, so it is difficult to get an idea of them and have much to mail them about.

hollypink

I feel the same - I avoid profiles with no photo. I know some people think that's very superficial and that's fine, but I don't feel that way so I've set my mail settings so that someone contacting me must have a picture. It irritates me when people try to get around the filter by putting up a picture of a sunset or a car or a picture of them where you can't actually see their face :mad: Or am I being unreasonable :P

I'm not fond of the 'I don't know what to fill in here so any questions, send me a message' profile. It's not easy for many people to convey their personality in a few sentences and I'm sure my profile is no literary masterpiece, but surely a short paragraph or two about your interests/life would at least give us a starting point for a conversation?

I got a creepy message from someone yesterday (I don't quite understand it but I think it's creepy!); I wish there was a 'creepy message' filter :P

stargazer 68

I would reply to messages from people with no pics but I would never make first contact with them. I like to see who Im winking at!

I hate when people dont fill their profile bits in at all or just put 'will fill this in later'.

cyrusdvirus

hollypink wrote: »

I feel the same - I avoid profiles with no photo. I know some people think that's very superficial and that's fine, but I don't feel that way so I've set my mail settings so that someone contacting me must have a picture. It irritates me when people try to get around the filter by putting up a picture of a sunset or a car or a picture of them where you can't actually see their face :mad: Or am I being unreasonable :P

I'm not fond of the 'I don't know what to fill in here so any questions, send me a message' profile. It's not easy for many people to convey their personality in a few sentences and I'm sure my profile is no literary masterpiece, but surely a short paragraph or two about your interests/life would at least give us a starting point for a conversation?

I got a creepy message from someone yesterday (I don't quite understand it but I think it's creepy!); I wish there was a 'creepy message' filter :P

*Double checks yesterdays sent items*

Nope, don't think it's me!!

hollypink

gatecrash wrote: »

*Double checks yesterdays sent items*

Nope, don't think it's me!!

I'm sure it's not, it was a wierd message. I don't want to mention specifics just in case whoever it is comes across this thread though!

There's an amusing article in the Metro Herald today about an "ugly invasion" of the beautifulpeople.com dating site. Maybe it's just the website looking for more publicity but apparently a former employee was responsible for a Shrek virus that allowed 30,000 people to join without going through the rating system. You'd feel a bit bad wouldn't you if your application had been successful and you were thinking 'cool I'm a beautiful person' and next thing you were booted out again :P

flatnn

hollypink wrote: »

I'm sure it's not, it was a wierd message. I don't want to mention specifics just in case whoever it is comes across this thread though!

There's an amusing article in the Metro Herald today about an "ugly invasion" of the beautifulpeople.com dating site. Maybe it's just the website looking for more publicity but apparently a former employee was responsible for a Shrek virus that allowed 30,000 people to join without going through the rating system. You'd feel a bit bad wouldn't you if your application had been successful and you were thinking 'cool I'm a beautiful person' and next thing you were booted out again :P

:eek: so that's how I got in

oh the profiles with no photos i used to avoid but a girl with no pics mailed me and when i asked she sent me a pic and she was hawt! got her number there last night

Lon Dubh

Dovies wrote: »

I would reply to messages from people with no pics but I would never make first contact with them. I like to see who Im winking at!

I hate when people dont fill their profile bits in at all or just put 'will fill this in later'.

Yes, I suppose people forget to ever go back and fill out their profile, or else they are too lazy. I find it off-putting either way, as it makes me think they are not really that into it, or won't make a little effort.

I would also answer someone with no picture but I wouldn't be keen on sending them a message first.

Semele

there was just no physical attraction on my part (athough he's not bad looking) and I didn't particularly get the impression he was into me either. We chatted away fine but there was no flirting and the conversation just didn't "spark" unlike some other dates I've been on where we literally couldn't stop talking!

He was very tired though and apologised afterwards (which he obv didn't need to). If he contacts me I'd consider another date to give it a decent shot though!

Fewcifur wrote: »

Home by 9pm even though he was a nice guy? Was it a case of "This is going nowhere, no point wasting my time" or was the conversation not up to scratch? .

FewFew

Semele wrote: »

there was just no physical attraction on my part (athough he's not bad looking) and I didn't particularly get the impression he was into me either. We chatted away fine but there was no flirting and the conversation just didn't "spark" unlike some other dates I've been on where we literally couldn't stop talking!

He was very tired though and apologised afterwards (which he obv didn't need to). If he contacts me I'd consider another date to give it a decent shot though!

Aw well that's nice then. It's weird when they're good looking but there's no attraction, you're kinda sitting there going "I should be attracted to this person... but I'm just not"

Justask

I hereby swear NEVER to eat tomatoe soup again:eek:

Corsendonk

Fewcifur wrote: »

Aw well that's nice then. It's weird when they're good looking but there's no attraction, you're kinda sitting there going "I should be attracted to this person... but I'm just not"

Well looks usually fed unless you both can afford a good plastic surgeon to stop all the bits drooping:p So deep then your looking for someone that you can connect with on personality and humour when the intial first sight lust fades.

FewFew

Corsendonk wrote: »

Well looks usually fed unless you both can afford a good plastic surgeon to stop all the bits drooping:p So deep then your looking for someone that you can connect with on personality and humour when the intial first sight lust fades.

Yeah, but generally (or at least with me) I'm usually really attracted to a person if our personalities click, so usually if they're objectively good looking but I'm not attracted to them, then there's something not catching in the aul personality stakes, which I think is what I was on about aaaall along.

Larianne

Fewcifur wrote: »

Yeah, but generally (or at least with me) I'm usually really attracted to a person if our personalities click, so usually if they're objectively good looking but I'm not attracted to them, then there's something not catching in the aul personality stakes, which I think is what I was on about aaaall along.

Is that not what he was saying??

I dunno, I'm confuzzled.

careymary

I think I might have a commitment phobia, have been chatting to this guy on POF for about two weeks, we met on fri night, all went well, bit of a spark, plenty of banter, all in all a good date by my standards.
Met up again last night, again another good date, plenty of fun. Got a text when I got home saying "thanks for a great night, really glad i met you, you are somone I could spend the rest of my life with for sure xx"
It made my blood run cold, am i right in thinking thats a bit full on???
I sent back a quick "yeah had a good night too" but now I have no interest in meeting him again, talk about scaring someone off!!

Larianne

careymary wrote: »

I think I might have a commitment phobia, have been chatting to this guy on POF for about two weeks, we met on fri night, all went well, bit of a spark, plenty of banter, all in all a good date by my standards.
Met up again last night, again another good date, plenty of fun. Got a text when I got home saying "thanks for a great night, really glad i met you, you are somone I could spend the rest of my life with for sure xx"
It made my blood run cold, am i right in thinking thats a bit full on???
I sent back a quick "yeah had a good night too" but now I have no interest in meeting him again, talk about scaring someone off!!

Yep, bit too early for my liking.

I guess he said it with the excitement of the date going well. I'd say give him another chance.

Corsendonk

Larianne wrote: »

Is that not what he was saying??

I dunno, I'm confuzzled.

Yes you have it correct, obviously we connected!:pac: You managed to understand my bad spelling and bout of typo dyslexia,

Justask

careymary wrote: »

I think I might have a commitment phobia, have been chatting to this guy on POF for about two weeks, we met on fri night, all went well, bit of a spark, plenty of banter, all in all a good date by my standards.
Met up again last night, again another good date, plenty of fun. Got a text when I got home saying "thanks for a great night, really glad i met you, you are somone I could spend the rest of my life with for sure xx"
It made my blood run cold, am i right in thinking thats a bit full on???
I sent back a quick "yeah had a good night too" but now I have no interest in meeting him again, talk about scaring someone off!!

TBH i'd be hiding under my bed :eek: lol

No seriously that WAY to early to be talking like that about a year to early lol :rolleyes:

Corsendonk

careymary wrote: »

I think I might have a commitment phobia, have been chatting to this guy on POF for about two weeks, we met on fri night, all went well, bit of a spark, plenty of banter, all in all a good date by my standards.
Met up again last night, again another good date, plenty of fun. Got a text when I got home saying "thanks for a great night, really glad i met you, you are somone I could spend the rest of my life with for sure xx"
It made my blood run cold, am i right in thinking thats a bit full on???
I sent back a quick "yeah had a good night too" but now I have no interest in meeting him again, talk about scaring someone off!!

Maybe he just hasn't got long to live.:)

Seriously, what is the rule of thumb ladies for that sort of thing?

careymary

Larianne wrote: »

Yep, bit too early for my liking.

I guess he said it with the excitement of the date going well. I'd say give him another chance.

Yeah I was just thinking that if I meet him again am I leading him on a bit, or do I say something about it or just ignore it!!!! Eek!
My fight or flight has kicked in with flight, but that would be a sh*tty thing to do, guess I'm just freaking out a bit I hate awkwardness! Why did he have to go and text that!

careymary

Corsendonk wrote: »

Maybe he just hasn't got long to live.:)

Seriously, what is the rule of thumb ladies for that sort of thing?

Dont go talking marraige babies or spending your life together until at least the third date! lol No seriously personally I'd have to be in a long term serious relationship before i started thinking like that, how long that is would depend on the guy/ relationship but defo 9-12 months in anyways

Justask

Corsendonk wrote: »

Maybe he just hasn't got long to live.:)

Seriously, what is the rule of thumb ladies for that sort of thing?

Its different with everyone but after 2 dates :eek:

TIP...if you DONT want to see the girl again tell her "she means the world to you"

And she will be gone

Marty McFly

If I was you id give him another chance, I know I myself woudlnt text that to a woman even after a few months, but like another poster said maybe he just caught up in the excitement of the date, like it was right after it he might of just been on that giddy high we can all get after a good date, and was trying to be sweet without really thinking about what he was saying. Give him a text or phone call today just for a lil chat to suss him out to see if hes calmed down a little bit.

Larianne

careymary wrote: »

Yeah I was just thinking that if I meet him again am I leading him on a bit, or do I say something about it or just ignore it!!!! Eek!
My fight or flight has kicked in with flight, but that would be a sh*tty thing to do, guess I'm just freaking out a bit I hate awkwardness! Why did he have to go and text that!

Be straight with him. I think that's the main problem with these things.

Tell him that that text freaked you out a little especially it being after the second date. The guy deserves to know if he's messing up all his dates because of a comment he makes after a date goes well.

He could be thinking it sounded romantic .. or whatever.. OR maybe he was serious so then you'll know to get the flock outta there! :pac:

manafana

careymary wrote: »

I think I might have a commitment phobia, have been chatting to this guy on POF for about two weeks, we met on fri night, all went well, bit of a spark, plenty of banter, all in all a good date by my standards.
Met up again last night, again another good date, plenty of fun. Got a text when I got home saying "thanks for a great night, really glad i met you, you are somone I could spend the rest of my life with for sure xx"
It made my blood run cold, am i right in thinking thats a bit full on???
I sent back a quick "yeah had a good night too" but now I have no interest in meeting him again, talk about scaring someone off!!

yeah the rest of my life thing is bit much, could easily said id like see you again

cyrusdvirus

i vote for giving the guy another chance.......

then again.... premature emotions might not be the only thing this prematurely gets......

Or he could be the Isla Fisher character in the wedding crashers!!