Online Dating

That_Guy

Deleted my POF account. Couldn't be bothered with it anymore. Still have my OKC one.

miec

Just a quick question to everyone - do you like it that you can see who has viewed you and who you have viewed. Personally I'm not sure about it.

That_Guy

miec wrote: »

Just a quick question to everyone - do you like it that you can see who has viewed you and who you have viewed. Personally I'm not sure about it.

Didn't bother me. Most people who viewed me didn't leave a message. :pac:

Larianne

I never really use that function. My thinking is, if you look but don't mail you're not interested.

Napper Hawkins

I'm gonna delete my Pof account too, I message girls, try to be nice or try to pick up on something from their profile.
Sorta tailor what I say based on what kind of personality I think they have.

Next to no responses, the odd mail from scary, unnattractive or obese (or all 3) women.

The ones I like either view my profile and don't respond or don't respond and don't even view the profile.

Other times I will get a response and then after 4 or 5 messages back and forth......nothing.

OKC it's the opposite, I use the exact same tactic, loads of responses, pretty girls messaging ME for once which is a nice change and I've sorted two dates out already.

Confused...

Caoimhín

Fewcifur wrote: »

Wow, I hope it goes well for ya! It will say a lot, but it's a perfect dry run for something more serious like living together. Nothing worse than realising such important things too late in the game. Hope you've a wonderful time sir

Thanks Fewcifur.

Honestly, i have always been sceptical about the whole "chemistery" and "love at first sight" but hand on heart, within the first ten minutes of meeting this girl, I knew I was going to fall in love with her.
In my wildest dreams, i never thought that the auld internet dating would work. Just goes to show and maybe encouraging for everyone else on this thread.

Dear god, would you listen to me, im like a besotted teenager! (Its a great feeling though, the warm and fuzzy inside feeling)

Edit; Im off to the hunting or 4X4 forum to "man up" a bit..

Otis Driftwood

Caoimhín wrote: »

Thanks Fewcifur.

Honestly, i have always been sceptical about the whole "chemistery" and "love at first sight" but hand on heart, within the first ten minutes of meeting this girl, I knew I was going to fall in love with her.
In my wildest dreams, i never thought that the auld internet dating would work. Just goes to show and maybe encouraging for everyone else on this thread.

Dear god, would you listen to me, im like a besotted teenager! (Its a great feeling though, the warm and fuzzy inside feeling)

Edit; Im off to the hunting or 4X4 forum to "man up" a bit..

Ehhh,maybe you missed the memo mate but this thread is about the depressing aspects of and inevitable rejection from online dating.

Take you and yer shiny new bird off to the sunshine and lollipops forum!





:pac:




Seriously though,thats great to hear.I met my only real love online a few years ago so it is possible.Enjoy the holiday,ya jammy git!

Autosport

Justask wrote: »

Read a profile today that made me giggle

States hes STUNNING (are there people out there who actually think this of themselves ) Not to contact him unless your a size 10....and with no kids....and like to play golf :eek:

This man is 39 :eek::eek::eek:

LMAO

Man of my dreams Wanders off to find his number

That_Guy

Chatting to a really pretty girl on OKC.

Only downside is that she's from Carlisle in England. :pac: Feckin' Brits and their moistness over the Irish accent. :pac:

That_Guy

Caoimhín wrote: »

Thanks Fewcifur.

Honestly, i have always been sceptical about the whole "chemistery" and "love at first sight" but hand on heart, within the first ten minutes of meeting this girl, I knew I was going to fall in love with her.
In my wildest dreams, i never thought that the auld internet dating would work. Just goes to show and maybe encouraging for everyone else on this thread.

Dear god, would you listen to me, im like a besotted teenager! (Its a great feeling though, the warm and fuzzy inside feeling)

Edit; Im off to the hunting or 4X4 forum to "man up" a bit..

Kudos mate.

Always good to hear good news stories.

FewFew

Kinski wrote: »

Exact same thing has happened to me. She even sent me her number which I neither asked for nor acknowledged. She seems like a really nice person - just not my type - so I feel kinda bad. What did you do in the end?

There was a bit of an endless cycle going on, but no opening to go "thank you, but not interested." So I'm leaving it for a bit. I really don't know exactly what to do, short of saying something mean like "poo off I don't even like you anyway, ya poo head" but there's just genuinely no opening to reject the girl, that's how bad the conversation is. So, I think I'll limit my replies greatly and hope she finds someone else.

That_Guy

Fewcifur wrote: »

There was a bit of an endless cycle going on, but no opening to go "thank you, but not interested." So I'm leaving it for a bit. I really don't know exactly what to do, short of saying something mean like "poo off I don't even like you anyway, ya poo head" but there's just genuinely no opening to reject the girl, that's how bad the conversation is. So, I think I'll limit my replies greatly and hope she finds someone else.

Send her my way. :pac: I'm doing nowt at the minute.

Larianne

Fewcifur wrote: »

short of saying something mean like "poo off I don't even like you anyway, ya poo head"

Almost spat out my tea reading that! :pac:

Caoimhín

Fewcifur wrote: »

There was a bit of an endless cycle going on, but no opening to go "thank you, but not interested." So I'm leaving it for a bit. I really don't know exactly what to do, short of saying something mean like "poo off I don't even like you anyway, ya poo head" but there's just genuinely no opening to reject the girl, that's how bad the conversation is. So, I think I'll limit my replies greatly and hope she finds someone else.

Just come out with it, it might be a little unfair by not making it clear that you arent interested. I had a bit of hassle with a few ladies, i was being a little too kind by not making it clear that I wasnt interested.

While chatting online or by text message it is difficult enough to express that you are not interested. Body language can be a great way of expressing how you feel if you do go on a date.

My advice, simply tell her/him that you dont think that you are a match and maybe compliment him/her and wish them the best in the future. This way it wont develop into something that is much harder to get out of.

Corsendonk

Seems to be a shortage of males!

CSO 2011

It has now reversed again and these preliminary results show 43,864 more females than males overall in the State, resulting in a sex ratio of 981 males for every 1,000 females. On a regional basis, Dublin had the lowest ratio with only 949 males for every 1,000 females. The Midland was the only region to show more males than females with 1,002 for every 1,000.

Napper Hawkins

Fewcifur wrote: »

There was a bit of an endless cycle going on, but no opening to go "thank you, but not interested." So I'm leaving it for a bit. I really don't know exactly what to do, short of saying something mean like "poo off I don't even like you anyway, ya poo head" but there's just genuinely no opening to reject the girl, that's how bad the conversation is. So, I think I'll limit my replies greatly and hope she finds someone else.

I feel better having read that.

2 Miles From Narnia

Caoimhín wrote: »

My advice, simply tell her/him that you dont think that you are a match and maybe compliment him/her and wish them the best in the future.

Is it really so bad to just stop replying? If it's only been a couple of emails back and forth, I don't think there is too much explanation owed. I've had it happen to me a couple of times and would much rather no reply than someone I hadn't met yet explaining why he isn't interested.

I've also done it a few times - I like to give all emails 1 reply to try to be fair, not judge too quickly etc, but if the second email has no questions to reply to / nothing interesting to comment on / gets weird, then I ignore it.

Galvasean

After many encounters with various incarnations of the Amazing Disappearing Woman I am tempted to delete all of my accounts, but damnit no! I will not, not until I get taht elusive second date! (actually right now a first date without the girl getting cold feet and repeatedly canceling might be something).

FewFew

Caoimhín wrote: »

Just come out with it, it might be a little unfair by not making it clear that you arent interested. I had a bit of hassle with a few ladies, i was being a little too kind by not making it clear that I wasnt interested.

While chatting online or by text message it is difficult enough to express that you are not interested. Body language can be a great way of expressing how you feel if you do go on a date.

My advice, simply tell her/him that you dont think that you are a match and maybe compliment him/her and wish them the best in the future. This way it wont develop into something that is much harder to get out of.

Yeah, see that's what I wanted to do, but she isn't giving me a damn in. Damn it.

Caoimhín

Fewcifur wrote: »

Yeah, see that's what I wanted to do, but she isn't giving me a damn in. Damn it.

I understand what you mean. Its a tricky one alright but just because she is using internet dating and is a little persistant doesnt mean that she hasent got feelings.

Gently does it

Larianne

Fewcifur wrote: »

Yeah, see that's what I wanted to do, but she isn't giving me a damn in. Damn it.

Just say "I've enjoyed chatting to you but unfortunately I feel that we aren't compatible. Hope everything works out for you. Good Luck on your quest".

The longer you leave it the worse it's gonna get.

Trilla90

I find it hard to message girls first i just thinks its easier to let them show an interest in the guy first saves you making an effort with girls that aren't interested pity thats not how the game works though :P:D

Napper Hawkins

No, it ain't. Man up!:D

ozt9vdujny3srf

Been reading this thread with a sort of morbid curiosity. And all I can think is enough with the trying so much! And enough with the painstakingly tailoring your personality to seem more attractive. Its one thing putting your best foot forward, but putting so much effort into looking good is a recipe for disaster, and its so obvious to whoever you message. People have a pretty good sense of what is real and what isn't, and the chances are anything other than what you are actually like will come across as incongruous and weird to most people. And, unless you are in fact a complete oddball, what you are actually like is what someone out there actually wants.

cyrusdvirus

Keegan Harsh Campfire wrote: »

Been reading this thread with a sort of morbid curiosity. And all I can think is enough with the trying so much!

What's wrong with putting yourself out there, and looking for someone you find attractive, and seeing where it goes from there when you do find that person?

Keegan Harsh Campfire wrote: »

And enough with the painstakingly tailoring your personality to seem more attractive.

Where did anyone mention that? A couple of people have talked about how to improve profiles, how to make yourself more noticeable, but i didn't see anything about changing or tailoring a personality??

Keegan Harsh Campfire wrote: »

Its one thing putting your best foot forward, but putting so much effort into looking good is a recipe for disaster, and its so obvious to whoever you message.

Ok, i'll agree with you here.

Keegan Harsh Campfire wrote: »

People have a pretty good sense of what is real and what isn't, and the chances are anything other than what you are actually like will come across as incongruous and weird to most people.

i wouldn't say it'd be weird, more disappointing for the other person. I have had dates in the past where the girl i was chatting to on mail, text and phone was bright, sparkly, bubbly, fun and seemed really interesting.

Then i met her and she couldn't string 2 sentences together without mumbling something and coming across as being really awkward and uncomfortable. We went on a couple of dates, but it was the same each time. Face to face she was painfully shy and insecure, on the phone she wasn't. Both aspects were part of her personality, and there was nothing false about it, she just was not comfortable in one on one interactions at first.

Keegan Harsh Campfire wrote: »

And, unless you are in fact a complete oddball, what you are actually like is what someone out there actually wants.

HEY!!!! Us oddballs have feelings too!!!! :pac:

cyrusdvirus

How did your date go Larianne??

KTRIC

Just heard on the radio that half a million Irish are using online dating, don't know if I believe that or not.

Seems to be getting accepted into the mainstream now, which is a good thing.

ozt9vdujny3srf

gatecrash wrote: »

Reply to Truckles Post

There's nothing wrong at all putting yourself out there. I'm certainly not saying there is anything wrong with online dating. In fact, I think it's a good way to meet people.

There are explicit references in this thread to people trying to tailor their message to make someone like them. I've no interest singling out particular cases though. Call it friendly advice!

Larianne

gatecrash wrote: »

How did your date go Larianne??

It's tonight! :eek:

That_Guy

Larianne wrote: »

It's tonight! :eek:

Wouldn't it be great if he turned up last night? :pac: