Online Dating

mariebeth

well I decided to join anotherfriend.com. It will be interesting to see how it goes, there seems to be a wider variety of men than on pof or okcupid so far. Even signed up to try one month premium.

Getting a lot of messages from guys who aren't in Cork though. Which is a pain, because I've already done one long distance relationship for 18 months, so I'm not willing to do another.

miec

Im on AF but no one seems to be replying to my e-mails, which I know is part of the way it is but it is still frustrating. I got a quickflirt from someone with no details on his profile and nothing is his message, I'd like to see some sort of effort at least in his profile.

Lon Dubh

ardmacha wrote: »

Some people are suspicious by nature.

Some sites require a DOB and calculate an age, others you type in an age. If someone joined a site a couple of years ago and didn't update their age then this difference could exist, without any intent whatsoever to mislead. Someone might rejoin the site after a year or so and not update this.

People who intend to mislead would simply use different identities on different sites, not the same one with an age a couple of years different!

Thanks for telling me that, I didn't know that. Though in this case the site where he is down as aged 43, the website asks for the date of birth when you sign up. So unless there is something really faulty with their system surely it should have been updated every year? If it was me and the wrong age was showing up, I would either delete the account and start again, or mention the age error thing somewhere in the profile. On the other site I saw him on he has 64 in his user name so I'm guessing that is the year he was born, so he is more likely 46.

Anyway it could be a genuine over-sight but either way probably a bit too much of an age gap for me in this particular case so it doesn't really matter. But it has alerted me to the idea of having a look (if I have time or the inclination) to see if the same person is on another site, to see if there is contradictions in what they say about themselves, before bothering to contact them.

I tend to be a bit overly inclined to give someone the benefit of the doubt so think I need to pay more attention to any red flags, even minor looking ones. I know this will mean ruling out some potentially ok people, but it will be a good way of avoiding some of the liars/headwreckers.

And Miec, yes I am inclined now to only message people who have made a bit of an effort in their profiles, as a conversation with them might be like pulling teeth otherwise. I also feel it doesn't bode well if they do not make a small effort in their profiles. Some people also seem to send flirts to virtually any new people. I had just started up and account, only had the bare miniumum on (age, location, and that I was a woman looking for a man) when people were sending me flirts!

cyrusdvirus

Lon Dubh wrote: »

I had just started up and account, only had the bare miniumum on (age, location, and that I was a woman looking for a man) when people were sending me flirts!

Sooooo....... What ARE these vital statistics!! ?? ;-)

Justask

Ok so whats your views on CHEMISTRY....

Went out on a date last night....Such a nice bloke, dressed well, had bundles of manners (hard to find these days), hilarious - laughed so much my jaw is sore today, Insisted he paid (which goes against my gain)...Proper gent and seriuosly nice guy.

BUT their was just no physical attraction for me...

He asked me to meet him again

Kinski

Justask wrote: »

He asked me to meet him

That's what they call shifting these days.

Justask

Kinski wrote: »

That's what they call shifting these days.

Sorry missed the word again

He wants to take me for a meal

cyrusdvirus

Justask wrote: »

Ok so whats your views on CHEMISTRY....

Went out on a date last night....Such a nice bloke, dressed well, had bundles of manners (hard to find these days), hilarious - laughed so much my jaw is sore today, Insisted he paid (which goes against my gain)...Proper gent and seriuosly nice guy.

BUT their was just no physical attraction for me...

He asked me to meet him

I had a few dates similar to that, where I was the same as the guy in your date, more attracted to her than she was to me. We went on 2 more dates, before she decided that it wouldn't work out.

We're still in contact, as friends.

Ah well...

All I can say is, going from personal experience that you should tell him

flatnn

Justask wrote: »

He asked me to meet him

Was the date in The Wezz disco? :P

2 Miles From Narnia

All the fishies seem to be biting tonight, just got a reply from someone I emailed a week ago, and a couple of brand new emails this evening. I'm guessing people who didn't pull on the weekend log in on a Sunday instead.

Lon Dubh

gatecrash wrote: »

Sooooo....... What ARE these vital statistics!! ?? ;-)

LOL! Top secret

JustAsk, I think I might have to meet most people a few times before deciding there is chemistry. I am totally a slow burner. I think for me personality is so important that until I know the person a bit I don't really feel a connnection, and unless I feel a connection I don't feel much of an attraction. Having said that with the last 2 people I met, I knew very quickly that it didn't feel right and I pulled the plug quickly (this was because their personalities didn't suit me and not because of looks. Funnily enough they both looked better in person than on their photos).

Unfortunately my slow burning habits could mean that the online dating thing might not suit me as I might be too slow to make my mind up for most people. Still though, I wonder if I meet someone who is really right for me that I might feel "it" more quickly. I will try the online dating scene for a while longer and see how I get on.

micayla

The experiences I've had with online dating, is that it's really easy to talk to someone over some form of chat but when you get round to an actual date it doesn't work out too well. Or at least it has in my experiences. Recently though I've decided dating and relationships are not for me at all and I'm not sure if they ever will be.

manafana

had my date friday anyway, went better than i thought it would it, plenty chat, so decided give it a 2nd date and see.
Alot more talkie in person which is good.

Semele

I had a daytime date yesterday with a guy I've been mailing for a few weeks- he lives quite a bit away so we couldn't before now.

All going fine, went for a walk, then to a pub for food. Sat down, chatting away...caught a glimpse of someone at the next table out of the corner of my eye and didn't clock for a moment who it was. Then my mind, while mid-sentence, realised it was my most recent ex's best friend. In a sort of paralysing horror, words dying, I turned around to see my ex and all his friends awkwardly staring at me from about 2 feet away!

We awkwardly passed a few words and then I talked absolute sh*te at my date for the next 20 minutes, painfully aware they could hear everything and that conversation on their table had died for much the same reason. The poor guy hadn't a clue what was going on- fortunately he saw the funny side when they left and I could explain!

It's London ffs! What are the chances?!

cyrusdvirus

Semele wrote: »

I had a daytime date yesterday with a guy I've been mailing for a few weeks- he lives quite a bit away so we couldn't before now.

All going fine, went for a walk, then to a pub for food. Sat down, chatting away...caught a glimpse of someone at the next table out of the corner of my eye and didn't clock for a moment who it was. Then my mind, while mid-sentence, realised it was my most recent ex's best friend. In a sort of paralysing horror, words dying, I turned around to see my ex and all his friends awkwardly staring at me from about 2 feet away!

We awkwardly passed a few words and then I talked absolute sh*te at my date for the next 20 minutes, painfully aware they could hear everything and that conversation on their table had died for much the same reason. The poor guy hadn't a clue what was going on- fortunately he saw the funny side when they left and I could explain!

It's London ffs! What are the chances?!

Sorry.... but that made me laugh!!

The fact that he found it funny is a good sign too.

Other than that, hope the date went well!!

KyussBishop

Semele wrote: »

I had a daytime date yesterday with a guy I've been mailing for a few weeks- he lives quite a bit away so we couldn't before now.

All going fine, went for a walk, then to a pub for food. Sat down, chatting away...caught a glimpse of someone at the next table out of the corner of my eye and didn't clock for a moment who it was. Then my mind, while mid-sentence, realised it was my most recent ex's best friend. In a sort of paralysing horror, words dying, I turned around to see my ex and all his friends awkwardly staring at me from about 2 feet away!

We awkwardly passed a few words and then I talked absolute sh*te at my date for the next 20 minutes, painfully aware they could hear everything and that conversation on their table had died for much the same reason. The poor guy hadn't a clue what was going on- fortunately he saw the funny side when they left and I could explain!

It's London ffs! What are the chances?!

lol poor luck; a good story to tell though

Semele

It was quite an ice-breaker really! We'd both been a bit shy and formal up to then but as soon as they left I collapsed laughing and he was laughing at me before I even got words out to explain!

Nice guy but the distance and the fact that I often work at weekends means there's probably not much mileage in it.

stargazer 68

OMG I have a date tonight!! :eek::eek::eek:
Happened pretty quickly actually. Were chatting one minute next he asked me out tonight. HELP!! :eek:

FewFew

Dovies wrote: »

OMG I have a date tonight!! :eek::eek::eek:
Happened pretty quickly actually. Were chatting one minute next he asked me out tonight. HELP!! :eek:

Stay calm, be strong, polish up those dancin' shoes, enjoy.

G86

Dovies wrote: »

OMG I have a date tonight!! :eek::eek::eek:
Happened pretty quickly actually. Were chatting one minute next he asked me out tonight. HELP!! :eek:

Ooh exciting pre-first date jitters eh?! They're the best You'll be grand, don't be worrying. What's the worst that can happen?! If you don't like him then you don't have to see him again, and if you do like him then....you'll have exciting pre second date jitters to look forward to! Sure how bad?;)

stargazer 68

OOh I know - I said yes and now the nerves are hitting. My last '1st date' was November!! Im always nervous that they wont actually turn up - has happened before! I feel like a 16 year old - jesus woman get over it lol,.

G86

Dovies wrote: »

OOh I know - I said yes and now the nerves are hitting. My last '1st date' was November!! Im always nervous that they wont actually turn up - has happened before! I feel like a 16 year old - jesus woman get over it lol,.

Haha, do you know what you're wearing?? If you're anything like me you'll be thinking about it already:p

stargazer 68

G86 wrote: »

Haha, do you know what you're wearing?? If you're anything like me you'll be thinking about it already:p

ooh that's already sorted!! Sorted it yesterday :P

Galvasean

micayla wrote: »

Recently though I've decided dating and relationships are not for me at all and I'm not sure if they ever will be.

This is because I mocked your Green lantern knowledge isn't it?

Larianne

Dovies wrote: »

OMG I have a date tonight!! :eek::eek::eek:
Happened pretty quickly actually. Were chatting one minute next he asked me out tonight. HELP!! :eek:

YAY!

miec

OMG I have a date tonight!!
Happened pretty quickly actually. Were chatting one minute next he asked me out tonight. HELP!!

That is great news (apart from the jitters) as I know you were getting fed up with the lack of responses and tbh your post there gave me a little faith to be patient and perservere. I hope it goes well.

ecoli

miec wrote: »

That is great news (apart from the jitters) as I know you were getting fed up with the lack of responses and tbh your post there gave me a little faith to be patient and perservere. I hope it goes well.

Think I came onto this thread at the perfect time to get a bit of optimistic news. Been on OkC bout two months now and am yet to get a response while I not getting too hung up on it (check it every few days have a scan around and send a few emails then forget about it for a few days till I log in again) would be nice to find there is actually some people out there for a chat atleast
Not even looking for dates the whole time some people just generally seem interesting and try sending a mail to strike up a conversation but to no avail.

Best of luck on the date Dovies

Pyr0

Justask wrote: »

Ok so whats your views on CHEMISTRY....

Went out on a date last night....Such a nice bloke, dressed well, had bundles of manners (hard to find these days), hilarious - laughed so much my jaw is sore today, Insisted he paid (which goes against my gain)...Proper gent and seriuosly nice guy.

BUT their was just no physical attraction for me...

He asked me to meet him again

Don't meet him again if you're not attracted to him. A relationship is nothing without attraction or chemistry.

Novella

Pyr0 wrote: »

Don't meet him again if you're not attracted to him. A relationship is nothing without attraction or chemistry.

That's 'cause it's a friendship!

Caoimhín

Myself and my POF girlfriend are off to San Sebastian in the Basque country for 2 weeks.

Ok, ill stop gloating now, promise.