Online Dating

stargazer 68

Larianne wrote: »

How come you didn't ask for his number?!

Maybe send him a mail to say you had a nice time on the date. An email might be sent to him to say you sent him a message.

Did all that last week! He sent me a mail to say he really enjoyed the date and cant wait to do it again - that was last Wednesday!

Larianne

Dovies wrote: »

Did all that last week! He sent me a mail to say he really enjoyed the date and cant wait to do it again - that was last Wednesday!

oh. :cool: Well if he contacts you again, make sure to get a number off him!

Keep fishing in the mean time.

cyrusdvirus

xxdilemmaxx wrote: »

Date went really well on Sat night, (well at least I think it did), talk of a second date and a bit of a snog and everything but haven't heard anything since

have you tried contacting him?

Maguined

A question for you folks that are regularly going out on dates with an online site. If you get contacted or contact multiple people do you bring up the fact that you might be dating a other people with each person you go on a date with or do you not say anything?

Also at what point would you want to stop seeing other people and just concentrate on the one person? I know it will be different for each person just wanting to hear some first hand personal experiences regarding the whole multiple dating thing.

cyrusdvirus

Maguined wrote: »

A question for you folks that are regularly going out on dates with an online site. If you get contacted or contact multiple people do you bring up the fact that you might be dating a other people with each person you go on a date with or do you not say anything?

Also at what point would you want to stop seeing other people and just concentrate on the one person? I know it will be different for each person just wanting to hear some first hand personal experiences regarding the whole multiple dating thing.

I wouldn't mention it if I was had a few first 'interview' dates lined up. Maybe even the second date, but i certainly wouldn't be able to go beyond the 2nd date with someone if i was still meeting other people... After date 2 I'd be considering it's time to sh!t or get off the pot.

Semele

All right people, opinions on how to handle this please..

Met a guy a week ago. We'd been messaging for about 3 weeks beforehand (clashing work schedules, bit long distance).

Now, we had fun, although I was a bit disappointed initially by how different he seemed in person. Had great craic though, drank a bit too much (both) and there was some kissing. However, while I'd certainly like to hang out with him again I already know its not going anywhere serious.

We're meant to be meeting in 2 weeks, for him to return the pub tour in his town. I have however been majorly turned off by the amount of texting he's at since (verging on clingy- but then I suppose it only seems it cos I'm not that into him!) and have a sneaking impression that he is way more into this. I don't know what to do now!

I feel that all the messaging in advance and the long gaps between being able to meet creates more of an investment than I'd like- I'd normally have no trouble saying "no thanks". Do I give it another go or say something first? Don't want to be a b*tch but don't want him sitting around for weeks thinking it's all love and rainbows and he has a girlfriend! What should I say? Don't know that I'm cut out for this online dating malarkey...

cyrusdvirus

Semele wrote: »

All right people, opinions on how to handle this please..

Met a guy a week ago. We'd been messaging for about 3 weeks beforehand (clashing work schedules, bit long distance).

Now, we had fun, although I was a bit disappointed initially by how different he seemed in person. Had great craic though, drank a bit too much (both) and there was some kissing. However, while I'd certainly like to hang out with him again I already know its not going anywhere serious.

We're meant to be meeting in 2 weeks, for him to return the pub tour in his town. I have however been majorly turned off by the amount of texting he's at since and have a sneaking impression that he is way more into this. I don't know what to do now!

I feel that all the messaging in advance created more of an investment than I'd like- I'd normally have no trouble saying "no thanks". Do I give it another go or say something first? Don't want to be a b*tch but don't want him sitting around for weeks thinking it's all love and rainbows. What should I say?

Ugh

I was that guy, more into the girl than she was into me.

All you can do is tell him that you don't think it'll go anywhere. And don't agree to the meet up on the pub tour, cos that's not fair and will send mixed signals. Us blokes can be very thick at all most times!!

Kevin Duffy

Semele wrote: »

All right people, opinions on how to handle this please..

Met a guy a week ago. We'd been messaging for about 3 weeks beforehand (clashing work schedules, bit long distance).

Now, we had fun, although I was a bit disappointed initially by how different he seemed in person. Had great craic though, drank a bit too much (both) and there was some kissing. However, while I'd certainly like to hang out with him again I already know its not going anywhere serious.

We're meant to be meeting in 2 weeks, for him to return the pub tour in his town. I have however been majorly turned off by the amount of texting he's at since (verging on clingy- but then I suppose it only seems it cos I'm not that into him!) and have a sneaking impression that he is way more into this. I don't know what to do now!

I feel that all the messaging in advance and the long gaps between being able to meet creates more of an investment than I'd like- I'd normally have no trouble saying "no thanks". Do I give it another go or say something first? Don't want to be a b*tch but don't want him sitting around for weeks thinking it's all love and rainbows and he has a girlfriend! What should I say? Don't know that I'm cut out for this online dating malarkey...

If his intentions according to his profile and/or anything he's said to you are that he's looking for something serious, long-term etc and he looks like he's thinking it's going that way, then it's only fair to tell him nicely that it's not going to go that way with you. The longer you leave it or the more contact you have with him, the more let down he'll feel.

xxdilemmaxx

Larianne wrote: »

Have you text the guy?? He couldn't be sitting around saying the same thing?!

Well he text and we have another date arranged for this weekend, I would have txted him if he hadn't as I think I really like him! But was hoping he would make the first move. Anyway, result!!

zuroph

Im back to radio silence again

cyrusdvirus

xxdilemmaxx wrote: »

Well he text and we have another date arranged for this weekend, I would have txted him if he hadn't as I think I really like him! But was hoping he would make the first move. Anyway, result!!

Glad to hear it!

I just hate that waiting and see ****e that goes on from time to time though...

I'm firmly in the "I like you, I've enjoyed this first date, and I'd like to see you again, so I'm going to ask now" camp.

And look at me, totally single!!!

2 Miles From Narnia

Any profile I browse through on OKC seems to be a big fan of reading fiction (which is a plus for me ). Does anyone else find that too, or have I just got a knack for finding the bookish profile pics?

Otis Driftwood

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

Any profile I browse through on OKC seems to be a big fan of reading fiction (which is a plus for me ). Does anyone else find that too, or have I just got a knack for finding the bookish profile pics?

Well the cynic in me would say that people have that on their profiles to seem more interesting.

:pac:

2 Miles From Narnia

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Well the cynic in me would say that people have that on their profiles to seem more interesting.

:pac:

Maybe you're right, I'll start quizzing them about their favourite parts in each book to see if they can live up to their claims!

That_Guy

Girl with no picture messaged me just there. Nice message to open up with. Had a look at her profile and it's just full of "txt spk" and it's weird because her message had correct punctuation and everything.

EDIT: Never mind. "Txt spk" was just unloaded in the last message. :pac:

Mickeroo

Got a message on okc from someone in the Philippines, and I thought it was annoying that everyone on their seems to be in Dublin :pac:

starviewadams

Joined plentyoffish today,complete newbie to this online dating lark,anybody any general tips,do's/dont's etc?

Filled out the profile pretty well,not just two sentences in text speak and have a pic up etc.

Cheers!

stargazer 68

starviewadams wrote: »

Joined plentyoffish today,complete newbie to this online dating lark,anybody any general tips,do's/dont's etc?

Filled out the profile pretty well,not just two sentences in text speak and have a pic up etc.

Cheers!

Hmmmm new blood!! :P:P:D

That_Guy

starviewadams wrote: »

Joined plentyoffish today,complete newbie to this online dating lark,anybody any general tips,do's/dont's etc?

Filled out the profile pretty well,not just two sentences in text speak and have a pic up etc.

Cheers!

Don't listen to me. :pac:

EDIT: Messaged a girl today and she told me not to message her again because I'm "past my 20's".

I'm 22 and she's 20..... :pac:

billy the squid

well after an exchange of messages after meeting on sunday i have heard didly since. Am thinking they are busy or something. I much prefer being told to fcuk off than being ignored.

Otis Driftwood

Maybe they are though,tis only Tuesday after all.

Have you contacted her since the date?

billy the squid

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Maybe they are though,tis only Tuesday after all.

Have you contacted her since the date?

Just a text yesterday, whilst it is a little disapointed, it is not the end of the world. anyway, in other news

Sorry - our Meet Me list shows you users we've specifically chosen for you! Sometimes, this list runs out. Don't worry, new users will be added to the list soon.

starviewadams

So what are people's strategy's?

Message every girl you like the sound of/look of and hope for the best or wait for someone to message you?

I've seen about 3 girls that I'd be interested in but I've not got a clue what to say in the opening message!

AnnyHallsal

starviewadams wrote: »

I've seen about 3 girls that I'd be interested in but I've not got a clue what to say in the opening message!

Use whatever information they provide in their profile as a starting point, and a little wit and/or charm rarely hurts

billy the squid

starviewadams wrote: »

So what are people's strategy's?

Message every girl you like the sound of/look of and hope for the best or wait for someone to message you?

I've seen about 3 girls that I'd be interested in but I've not got a clue what to say in the opening message!

I would only use the search if I am really bored. On OKC you can have a look at the 3 or so quiver picks every day, you can also go and rate the girls. or fellas. If one pops up that you like you send her a message. I have only had three reply, two on POF and one on OKC. the latter was a horrible encounter. The other site i had one response and one meeting which I had last weekend.

On POF i do the yes/no/maybe thing. If I like the look of someone I will visit their profile , if i like their profile I will send them a message

There is a 2 percent chance of them replying anyway. even if you avoid the "hi" messages.

Come to think of it, the encounter I had last weekend began with a "hi" message.

Kevin Duffy

starviewadams wrote: »

So what are people's strategy's?

Message every girl you like the sound of/look of and hope for the best or wait for someone to message you?

I've seen about 3 girls that I'd be interested in but I've not got a clue what to say in the opening message!

Get messaging - girls get so many messages I doubt they have to message first anything like as much as men do.

Don't make your title "Hi", "Hello", or anything generic, make it stand out for the right reasons.

Find something about her profile that's important to her that you can talk about - her music tastes, sports, hobbies, whatever and link it to you - "I like jellybeans too and go to the jellybean factory every summer" (yeh, I know, but you get the idea). It might seem bland to ask someone about their love of walking on the beach (or whatever), but it's halfway to organising to meet for a walk on the beach

Attach your pic to the mail. Make your pic one with you doing something interesting and/or smiling.

Then, sadly, be prepared for the fact that you won't get all the replies you'd like. Don't take it personally.

My bill is in the post :pac:

W.Shakes-Beer

Interesting thread, to be honest it made me curious about this whole thing so to further my curiosity I made an OKC profile.

First impressions: Seems like a well thought out site. I'm not sure about the whole online thing though, it just feels odd as any conversation has that "look, we both know why we're here" feel to it.

Been on it 3 days now.

Anyway, have been talking to a nice girl, apparently we highly rated each other yesterday in the rating thing.

She's actually very friendly BUT! Does use very light txt spk, and we seem to have completely different interests in music/reading/films/college, the only thing we have in common is that we are probably shy and friendly

At the moment its my turn to make the next message to her, we've only sent 2 each, so I have to write a third.

To be honest, I don't feel anything; I'm not sure if its the whole online thing or that conversation seems to be limited to dogs! haha which seems to be our similar interest. Everything else we are more or less different.

My options: reply with a message of waffle that she probably isn't interested in, reply saying I don't think this will work, don't reply or just deactivate my account.

I'm really stuck, this is harder than just meeting a girl in the flesh

Kevin Duffy

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

My options: reply with a message of waffle that she probably isn't interested in, reply saying I don't think this will work, don't reply or just deactivate my account.

I'm really stuck, this is harder than just meeting a girl in the flesh

Better option than any of those for message 3 - pick a park or beach halfway between you, suggest you meet and walk the dogs together, unless you've something better to do than take a walk you'd take anyway, but this time in the company of a woman....

2 Miles From Narnia

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

My options: reply with a message of waffle that she probably isn't interested in, reply saying I don't think this will work, don't reply or just deactivate my account.

I woulnd't deactivate my account just yet, chances are you weren't going to marry the first girl you emailed anyway.

Why don't you try emailing back with stuff you find interesting, and see what she replies with? It could turn out that you've loads in common after all. My profile certainly isn't an exhaustive list of all of the things I enjoy conversations about. (although that could be partially due to laziness!) She may not reply, in which case problem solved. Or if she does reply but the emails aren't going places, you can decide what to do then.

W.Shakes-Beer

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Better option than any of those for message 3 - pick a park or beach halfway between you, suggest you meet and walk the dogs together, unless you've something better to do than take a walk you'd take anyway, but this time in the company of a woman....

2 Miles From Narnia wrote: »

I woulnd't deactivate my account just yet, chances are you weren't going to marry the first girl you emailed anyway.

Why don't you try emailing back with stuff you find interesting, and see what she replies with? It could turn out that you've loads in common after all. My profile certainly isn't an exhaustive list of all of the things I enjoy conversations about. (although that could be partially due to laziness!) She may not reply, in which case problem solved. Or if she does reply but the emails aren't going places, you can decide what to do then.

Cheers, I'll keep these in mind, I won't pull the plug just yet; good point on us possibly having more interests than just out profiles.